23. Blurred lines
Chapter 23
Blurred lines
Cole
The cursor blinks on the computer screen in front of me, but the words don’t register. My mind is too scattered, caught between the past and the present, between what I want to forget and what I can’t seem to stop thinking about.
Lila.
We’re meeting here in a few minutes to finalize the event. She refuses to meet me anywhere else, and most definitely not at her home office. I guess that’s understandable; after what I’ve done, I wouldn’t want me in my personal space either. Still, I can’t deny the knot of disappointment in my chest.
She’s been in my head every day since we started working on this event together. Hell, if I’m being honest, she’s been in my head for years. Eight years, to be exact.
I lean back in my chair, rubbing a hand over my face as my thoughts take me back to that night eight years ago. To that moment she walked into my life and turned everything upside-down.
She was easily the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and as crazy as it sounds, it’s why I lashed out so hard at her that day. Even then, in the middle of the worst time of my life, I noticed her. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help it. She wasn’t just beautiful, she was mesmerizing. Her every move, every smile, every glance drew the room to her like she was some kind of magnet. She reminded me of Lydia in that way, and I hated her for it. Hated the way she made me feel something in the middle of my pain. Lydia had been beautiful too, but that beauty hid an ugliness I hadn’t seen until it was too late.
So, I lashed out. I said things designed to wound. And they did. I saw it in her eyes, in the way they glistened with tears she tried her best to not let fall. I knew I was breaking something in her, and I did it anyway. I told myself I was protecting what little was left of me. If kindness had only brought me pain, then cruelty would be my armor.
Even now, the memory tightens something in my chest. I’ve never truly apologized. She’d made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with me, both in the way she would run for the nearest exit when she saw me, and from what Sue and Greg had said over the years. So, I just continued watching her from afar at event after event, drawn to her like a moth to a flame, yet knowing I’d already burned the bridge between us.
I’ve tried to distract myself by focusing on other things, other women. More than I can count. That part was easy. They seemed to hover around me like butterflies. It was one of the perks of being rich. But no matter how many of them I surrounded myself with, my eyes always found her.
But I had accepted the fact that she was never going to want anything to do with me.
Then out of nowhere, Sue comes up with this crazy idea to work with Lila on the Valentine’s ball. It had always been their thing, and to be completely honest, an event I looked forward to every year. It was the one occasion I got to see her. Now, here was Sue asking me to not only to watch her, but to help her.
Lila hated me. I knew this, and Sue knew this. So, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why she would ask something like this. It was obviously a disaster just waiting to happen. But, if I were being completely honest, I wanted to do this because of Lila.
She’s the reason I added an event business arm to my company. What do I know about running events? I just know that I’ll do anything to be near her, and that gave me my best opportunity.
At first I thought Lila wouldn’t go along with it anyway, but to my surprise she did. I wonder what kind of favor Sue held over her head to make that happen.
A curt knock on my door stops my thoughts, jolting me back into reality. I clear my throat, sitting up straighter in my seat before calling for her to come in.
Lila steps into my office a moment later, taking my breath away. She has on a sheath dress that falls just below her knees and accentuates her beautiful figure. Her hair is piled on top of her head in a skillfully crafted messy bun, a few strands perfectly framing her beautiful face.
“Hi,” she says, coming to a stop just in front of my desk.
“Hi. Please, have a seat,” I say, gesturing to chair across from me.
“We have a pretty light schedule today,” she starts, taking the familiar folder out of her bag.
“I just wanted to confirm everything one more time. I’ve already made a list of all the vendors we’ll be working with for the event, and the orders. So food, flowers, décor, it’s all in there,” she says, slipping the folder across to me.
“I think I’m on the wrong page,” I say, flipping through the folder.
“Just go to the next…You know what? Let me just…”
She trails off, standing up from her chair and walking to where I’m seated, still thumbing through the pages of the folder. Once she’s beside me, she leans closer to me to reach the folder, flipping through the pages as she tries to find what she’s looking for.
The intoxicating scent of rose petals and sandalwood overwhelms my senses, causing me to lean in just the tiniest bit to her as I inhale her sweet scent.
“Sorry, this’ll only take a moment. It’s here somewhere,” she murmurs, her eyes planted firmly on the folder trying to find whatever she’s looking for. Her face is only a few inches away from mine now, her warm, minty breath fanning against my cheek as she speaks.
I stare at her full, pink lips mere inches away from me wondering if they taste as sweet as they look. She’s completely oblivious to me watching her.
I shouldn’t do this.
I shouldn’t touch her.
There are so many reasons why I should turn away from her right now and there’s only one reason why I shouldn’t. But that one reason is strong enough to make me stay right there.
I want her. I’ve always wanted her.
I raise my hand to cup her beautiful face in my hand and…
“Here it is. I knew it was here somewhere.” She sighs in relief, pointing to a new page she has opened.
My half-raised hand hangs in the air for a moment. I consider if I should continue, but the moment has passed, and I let my arm drop limply beside me.
I turn my attention to the folder in front of me. “It’s right here.” She points to a section on the page, tracing it with her fingers.
“Oh, you mean this?” my finger slides to the section she’s referencing, and our hands brush against each other’s.
It happened fast, made even shorter by the speed with which she snatches her hand back as if burned, but it was enough to send a spark of current through me. I feel my body throb, straining against my pants.
“Sorry, I…um—I’ll let you go through the list,” she mutters, stepping back away from me and making her way back to her seat on the other side of the table.
She clears her throat. “Everything’s good to go with the band too, right?” she asks, those stunning eyes staring into my very soul. God, she’s so beautiful. For a second I lose track of what she’s asking.
“About that...”
Lila freezes, her face instantly creasing with worry. Those eyes are fixed on mine like lasers; it’s easy to tell that she’s assuming the worst.
“Oh, no, what happened? I knew I shouldn’t have put all my eggs in one basket! That’s the first rule of event planning. Always have a backup. Now it’s too late to find a replacement,” she groans.
“Everything’s fine. They’re going to do the event.”
She looks at me quizzically. “Then what’s the problem? You made it sound like something was going on.”
“I was just going to say that they extended an invitation of their own too.”
Yet again, her brows furrow tightly, confusion etched into her face.
“I don’t understand. What do you mean?”
“The band will be performing at another gala tomorrow night. It’s a big corporate event that I was invited to…anyway, they invited us to come see them perform.”
“They invited ‘us’ or they invited you?” she asks quizzically.
“Doesn’t matter, it makes sense for both of us to be there.”
“How so?” Lila asks.
“Well, this gala will be closer to the size of what we’re putting together. It would be good to experience it, maybe get a few tips. Also, it’s been eight years since we heard the band play, so it’ll be good to get a better idea of what to expect.”
“So, for research purposes?” she says slowly.
“Of course. What else would it be?” I don’t think she’d be as willing to attend this event with me if she knew what I wanted had nothing to do with research.
“I don’t know, Cole. This doesn’t sound very—”
“You said it yourself, Lila. This ball has to be perfect. What better way to make sure that happens, than attend one on the same level?”
“I’m just not sure how I feel about all this. I mean, this kinda feels like…” she stops.
“A date?” I finish slowly. She looks away. “Would it really be that bad?”
“I don’t know.”
I flinch, her words cutting sharper than she probably meant them to. But I deserve it.
“You know what?” she says suddenly. “If it’ll help us with our event, then let’s do it. Besides, it would be great to hear the band play again.”
“Great,” I smile.