Chapter Thirteen
ADELE TOLD HIM a little more information—by the end, Sante was feeling small but hopeful. Also desperate. Also grateful to the woman—she’d been more loyal than he deserved and she’d put up with more of his flaky behaviour than she should have.
The only person to call him out on it up to now had been Mia.
But he’d apologised and gone straight back to the damned airport.
The irony was too much as he boarded another endurance-test flight.
Mia had gone even farther than him—not to Australia, but New Zealand.
Of course she had. Which meant it would be almost another day before he could see her.
Adele had given him her new number and the address she was staying at.
He didn’t phone ahead; face-to-face was the only way.
He needed to see her; hopefully, make her listen somehow.
She was staying in a small hotel on the waterfront of a suburb not too far from central Auckland.
Sante went straight from the airport, knocked on the door of her unit and got no reply.
Frustrated, he stepped back and sucked in a breath.
He’d wait. He’d sit on one of the beachside benches by the water where all the people walked their dogs along the sand.
He’d wait and watch her door for as long as it took.
But that was where he found her. Sitting on one of the beachside benches, watching the dogs gambolling over the sand.
For a split second he thought he was hallucinating because it was the Mia he knew from Rome—wearing the same blouse and skirt from the day he’d met her.
It was as if she’d been plucked from there and transported here in a blink. No pastry, though. No spark. No smile.
‘Mia?’ he barely muttered as he walked up to her.
She glanced up and a shocked expression flashed on her face. ‘No.’
He wasn’t hallucinating, then. His entire body weakened and he sank to the other end of the bench. ‘Mia—’
‘I don’t have time to talk to you right now. I have an interview to get to.’
‘Job interview?’
She nodded, crushing his lungs.
He dragged in a breath. ‘Well, can I give you a lift there?’
Reproach flashed in her eyes. ‘No, thanks.’
‘Can I walk with you?’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m not making this mistake again.’
Then he would wait right here until she returned.
But she hesitated, staying perched on the edge of the seat. ‘What do you want?’
‘To talk to you.’
‘You could have talked to me anytime in these last few days.’
Sì. ‘I was travelling.’
‘You could’ve called from your plane.’
‘You’ve changed your number and I wanted to look you in the eyes when I talked to you.’
She didn’t move and he watched the blue deepen. A small bubble of hope flickered through his blood.
‘What did you want to say?’ she muttered.
All those hours in the air and he still didn’t have it straight. Didn’t know how or where to start something so vitally important.
‘Adele told me you overheard a couple of our guys talking in the stairwell,’ he huffed.
She tensed. ‘I don’t—’
‘I talked to Davide about it.’
‘You what?’
‘Davide said he’d told Mattia you were far too good for me. I think you missed that bit. They were laughing about my unsuitability for you. And he’s right, by the way.’
‘What?’ Her whisper was inaudible.
‘I shouldn’t have tried to talk about the trip to you at work. I was nervous and I made a mess of it. You’d told me you wanted to keep our relationship quiet at work but I started feeling as if you didn’t want anyone to know because you were ashamed of me.’
‘What?’ That time, her voice was like a whip crack.
Sante almost smiled but the distress in her eyes smote his heart. He really had been a fool. ‘Mia…’
‘No.’
Mia couldn’t do this. She couldn’t believe he’d spoken to Davide—of course the guy had spun it that way. Ordinarily she’d be more humiliated only nothing could overwhelm the agony she was already suffering this second.
Sante looked outrageously amazing and she couldn’t stop staring, drinking in every detail.
His tan had deepened and his hair was messier than usual, the curling ends utterly roguish.
Even in casual trousers, heavy tee and soft leather boat shoes he quietly screamed wealth.
He looked as if he’d spent the past week lounging on a private super yacht.
Maybe he had been; what would she know given his complete silence?
They’d had weeks of intense intimacy and he’d just left.
She’d made a massive mistake in getting involved with him.
She’d thought they could have a small secret fling—that there would be no real consequences—but she’d had so much to lose.
Once again she’d wanted more from someone who didn’t want to give to her. Once again she’d been an ‘amusement’ only to become an annoyance—someone to be sent away, or simply avoided. But that wasn’t the worst of it. The worst was that he’d taken her heart—and all her hopes and dreams—with him.
She made herself stand. He immediately rose and she realised her mistake. He was so tall and so handsome, he didn’t just block her path, he dazzled her.
‘I’ve been a coward, Mia,’ he muttered. ‘But you need to know that I will follow you. I will fight for you. I will face my own stupid fears for you because they’ve been stopping me…’
Mia froze, desperately wanting to believe him, but she knew Sante never stayed for a fight—not a personal one.
He just stepped back—unwilling to put himself on the line, and she almost understood that given how rough he’d had it in the past. And her own hurt rose in an unstoppable wave. ‘You just disappeared.’
‘So you left.’
‘I’ll never stay where I’m not truly wanted,’ she whispered. ‘You of all people should understand that.’
And he did. She realised that was why he’d done it. He’d known just how cruelly that action would strike.
‘You’re wanted,’ he said roughly, stepping forward. ‘I want you. And I don’t want anyone or anything but you.’ His eyes glinted with ferocity. ‘I promise you, Mia. I won’t walk out on you ever again.’
She shook her head slightly. She couldn’t believe him.
‘I’m so sorry, Mia.’ His voice broke. ‘So sorry. Please, please forgive me.’
Mia stilled. Sante never stayed for forgiveness, either, and that broke her heart. Did he think he could never get that? Did he think he would always be kicked away after one mistake? Did he think that he needed to protect himself from everything and everyone including her?
She desperately summoned some semblance of calm but the tears she’d been trying to stop spilled down her cheeks. She gulped but couldn’t suck her sob back. She was in utter chaos.
‘Mia.’ Suddenly, Sante stepped forward. He gently cupped the back of her head and pressed her forehead to his chest. Instinctively, she clenched her fists and pushed them against his chest. She wasn’t just falling into his arms. She would keep some distance because this was…this was…
She didn’t know what this was. She didn’t want to hope. But hope was a boundless thing that ignored reality. She clenched her fists more tightly, still unable to speak.
Sante didn’t fight her stiffness; he didn’t try to press her close. He lightly cradled the back of her head, gently stroking her hair while she hid her face in his shirt. Because her tears now streamed.
‘I’m not letting you go. I’m not. I can’t.
You’re mine,’ he breathed. ‘Or at least, I’m yours.
Please forgive me, Mia. Forgive my silence.
I freeze. I retreat. I say nothing. It’s always been safer that way.
But safe isn’t living. It’s not loving. And I love you so I can’t be silent now. I can’t walk away from you.’
Her fists unfurled and she spread her fingers over his warmth and strength.
‘I was such a jerk,’ he said. ‘I thought you were going to say no and I regressed in an instant.’
‘You wanted to do something nice for me but you—’
‘Asked you in the office. With the door open. Maybe I wanted to see if you’d say yes anyway or if you’d freeze.
I think maybe everything was getting so good that I got scared and I found a way out.
I’ve pushed people away all my life, Mia, before they can push me out.
But that wasn’t fair on you. My only excuse is that I’ve never felt this way about anyone and I was fucking terrified. But I’m even more terrified now.’
‘Me, too,’ she whispered, collapsing against him completely.
Beneath her cheek his chest rose and fell faster as he pulled her closer still.
‘I’d talked to Dario,’ she admitted. ‘He made me doubt—’
‘Me?’
‘No. Myself and then I heard Davide talking.’
‘Our guys think the world of you—’
‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘It does matter. And they do think you’re wonderful.
You’ve made the office so much better. You’ve made my life incredible.
’ His arms tightened. ‘You know I listen to the songs you hum in my car so I feel near you even when I’m not.
I scour menus online because dining different every night with you is so much fun.
You make every moment sparkle. I went away this week and spent the whole time wishing you were with me.
I’ve never wanted to share anything the way I want to share everything with you.
You enrich my life. You’re generous and warm and welcoming,’ he muttered.
‘You’re the most loveable creature on earth and these last few days have been the worst.’
They’d been the worst for her, too.
‘I know you’re afraid to trust me now and I don’t blame you for that, but here’s the thing, Mia,’ he muttered directly into her ear. ‘You’re not too much, not for me. You’re perfect for me.’
Mia trembled.
‘Please,’ he whispered. ‘Be mine. My Mia.’
She lifted her face and saw his expression was utterly intense and determined. ‘Oh, Sante—’ She lifted her chin and caught his lips with hers.