Chapter Seventeen
Diana
I wake to bright sunlight and a comforting warmth at my back. It takes a moment for me to remember I’m in Greece, not Iceland, and the naked man behind me is Ari.
I press back into his embrace for one fleeting moment before I inch my way out from under the heavy arm over my waist. A glance at the clock makes me grimace.
Nearly seven o’clock. We’re supposed to be at Hellas Shipping’s offices at eight thirty.
With showering, getting dressed, eating breakfast, and driving to the office, I don’t have much time.
Xenakis had arranged a dinner for the entire AuraGeothermal team at an exclusive restaurant with stunning views of the Acropolis.
Thankfully Ari’s chief financial officer, public relations specialist, and legal counselor hadn’t commented on us taking a separate, earlier flight, or asked questions about which villa I was staying at on the resort.
Xenakis was late meeting us, but he arrived with dark circles under his eyes and a huge grin, proudly showing off photos of his new granddaughter.
My breath catches as I glance back at Ari. He looks just like he did back in New York: blond strands falling over his chiseled face. The muscles of his back bared to my gaze, a silk sheet draped over his hips and legs.
I want nothing more than to climb back into bed with him. To wake him up with a kiss or straddling his waist and taking him inside me.
But in the light of day, my bravado from the evening before evaporates. Yes, Ari and I have incredible sex. We like each other, even respect each other, after finally clearing the air over Liam’s and my deception.
Except liking someone isn’t enough. Plenty of foster parents liked me. But none of them liked me enough.
I shove away my intrusive thoughts and sneak into the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, I’m showered, dressed, and ready to face the final event in the AuraGeothermal–Hellas Shipping negotiation. Navy blue business jacket and skirt. Hair pulled back into a low bun. Professional, confident, strong.
Nothing like the woman who straddled her boss’s naked hips and asked him to take her from behind last night.
My cheeks turn pink. Last night was…incredible. Earth-shattering. How is it that every time we make love, it only gets better?
I stare at myself in the mirror. When I turned my back to Ari last night, it was a massive step for me. Ari didn’t just understand the magnitude of what I was sharing with him—he honored it, cherished me even as he took me to new heights of pleasure.
I brace my palms against the marble countertop and suck in a deep, steadying breath. Ari obviously cares for me. And I care for him. I…
No. Today is not the day for examining my feelings. Today is the day to get contracts signed and finalize the deal between AuraGeothermal and Hellas.
I turn and bite back a screech at the sight of Ari in the doorway, wearing nothing but a smug grin.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning.” My eyes drift down from his handsome face to his muscled chest, lower still to his—
Focus.
“Our meeting’s in ninety minutes. The map estimates a forty-minute drive with traffic, so—”
Ari cuts me off with a fierce kiss, one that makes my toes curl.
“I’ll get dressed.” He trails one hand down my neck, his fingers deftly tugging at the top button of my blazer. “Maybe I could help you, too.”
My breath hitches in my throat as the blazer falls open and Ari starts working on the buttons of my shirt. “I’m already dressed. Or at least,” I say faintly as my blouse parts, “I was.”
Ari plants an open-mouthed kiss to my breast swelling above my bra. My thighs clench as my head drops back on a moan.
“I can’t get enough of you, Diana.”
His words fill me. But not enough to completely erase the doubt. Even as his hands slide under the hem of my skirt, pull it up around my hips and slide my panties down around my knees, the fear lingers, dulling some of my pleasure as he slides inside me.
He stares at me in the mirror, his blue eyes twin flames of desire. I meet his gaze, meet him thrust for thrust as he fills me. I’m tender from last night, but his movements this morning are gentle, long and slow, teasing even as he satisfies us both.
My peak this morning is a long, slow roll, one that builds with exquisite pleasure and leaves me gasping in its wake. Ari finds his almost immediately after me, filling me with his heat.
“I would apologize.”
His withdrawal leaves me with an ache, not just physical but deeper. An ache that thrills as much as it frightens. I pull down my skirt and start to rebutton my blouse, but he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me back against him just like he did last night in bed.
“But?”
“But I’m not the least bit sorry.”
He lowers his head to my neck, kisses the juncture of my throat and shoulder. My eyes flutter shut.
Is it possible? Could we truly have something more than just sex? Can I trust Ari enough to be happy?
“Me neither.”
His eyes narrow as his face darkens. My heart pitches down to somewhere in the vicinity of my feet.
“About last night—”
An alarm goes off. Swearing, he walks back into the bedroom. He’s only gone for twenty seconds or so, but it’s enough. Enough for the reservations to rush back in, for the doubts to take over. Was he about to say last night was just like New York? That our affair is enjoyable but short-lived?
Even if he was going to say something else, the fact that I immediately jump to worst-case scenario tells me everything I need to know about my ability to be in a true relationship right now.
I’m not ready. I just realized a couple nights ago I’ve been holding on to a fear that the two people I trust most in this world would abandon me if I wasn’t the perfect friend.
How can I possibly get into a romantic relationship?
“Confirmation call.” Ari walks back in. “They’re expecting us at eight thirty.”
I smooth my hand over my skirt. “Then, you’d better get ready.”
His eyes narrow. “Diana—”
“Later.” I force a smile onto my face. “After the contract?”
He leans back, his gaze hardening a fraction.
“Don’t do this.”
“What?”
He swears softly, his curse harsh yet melodic. “Pull back.”
“I’m not.”
He advances. I waiver, lean back before I stand my ground. But Ari sees enough. A shutter drops over his face.
“I’m getting dressed.”
I want to go to him, circle my arms around his waist, lay my head against the warmth of his back. Breathe him in. Ask him to stay.
He yanks on his shirt. He starts to glance over his shoulder. I take a step forward.
And then he turns away.
My heart starts to pound. I have never once let a lover touch my scars.
The last person to touch them besides me was Aislinn when she helped care for the fresh wounds.
At times, I’ve managed to see them as a reminder of my own strength, an odd sign of the friendship that binds Liam, Aislinn, and I together.
Other times, they’ve burned with the memory that I was only in Dale’s house because I wasn’t wanted anywhere else.
But last night, when I looked up and met Ari’s gaze, saw the passion burning in his eyes, I knew.
I knew I wanted him to be the first, not just to see the scars in the context of a lover, but to touch the most vulnerable part of me.
And yes, it frightens me that I want him to be the last. To give him that kind of trust, to hope that he won’t leave, that we won’t fail.
My jaw tightens as I suck in a deep breath. I gave him so much last night. Yes, I’m nervous today. Apprehensive. I’m not pulling away from him. I just need time to think, to process.
I close my eyes. Breathe in. Breath out. Wait for my heartbeat to slow. When my emotions are quiet, when I’m back in control, I open my eyes and walk out into the hotel room. Ari’s nearly dressed, his customary black suit and tie. He doesn’t even look at me as I grab my purse off the table.
“I’m going to walk to the café. Would you like anything?”
“No. Thank you.”
“Velkomin.”
The word rolls off my tongue as if I’ve been saying it for years. Ari’s hands still on his tie. He looks at me then, his face blank. His lips part. I pause, my hand on the doorknob.
Then he shakes his head and turns away.
Time, I tell myself as I walk out into the hall and close the door behind me. We both just need a little time.
I only wish I believed it was as simple as that.
Ari
I sign the last paper before I turn to Xenakis and accept the offered hand, force a smile.
I’m not going to let my personal life interrupt finally achieving this milestone.
No matter how acutely aware I am of Diana in the corner of the room.
No matter how many times my eyes sweep over her high-waisted green skirt that follows every curve of hip and leg, the white shirt I enjoyed unbuttoning this morning, and think how incredible she looks.
“I’m glad we made it.”
I blink, focus on Xenakis’s grinning face.
“I am, too.”
I’m pleasantly surprised to find I mean it, too. After spending those two days with Xenakis and learning more about his personal circumstances, I’m looking forward to partnering with him.
We chat about our upcoming board meetings that will finalize the deal. People mill about—accountants, lawyers, public relations professionals already drafting up press releases in anticipation of everything going through.
Diana waits in the background. A tall, broad-faced man leans down and whispers something to her that makes her smile. I clench my teeth, try not to look like I’m growling at the camera.
Finally, we’re done. Xenakis shakes my hand again and then turns to speak to someone else as I make my way over to Diana. The man is still talking to her.
“…dinner tonight.”
Diana turns and glances over her shoulder at me. Her instant smile loosens the fist that’s been wrapped around my heart since this morning.
“I can’t.” She looks back at the man and gives him a polite nod. “But thank you for the offer.”
The man opens his mouth as if to press his case. One look at my face sends him scurrying away.
“Careful,” she says softly, her tone amused. “You might start rumors about the two of us.”
“Something we’ll have to deal with sooner or later.”
The teasing light in her eyes dims. “Ari—”
“There you are, Diana.”
Diana turns to Xenakis and smiles, her professional mask in place. They make small talk before Xenakis turns to me.
“If you have the time, I’d like for you to stay a few days. Tour the port and the site of where the cracking plant will go.”
I can tell by the look Diana giving me she thinks it’s important for me to say yes.
“Yes.” I frown. “Although I need to contact our board president and vice president. I told them I would be flying back today and available tomorrow to discuss the deal with them ahead of the board meeting next week.”
Xenakis waves his hand. “No need to alter your plans.”
I turn to Diana. “Would you do it?”
Her eyes widen. “What? Present to the president?”
“Yes. You know this contract inside and out, probably better than me. Any questions you’re not comfortable answering, just defer them to contact me privately.”
It’s incredible to think that just under two weeks ago, I barely trusted her to be in my office alone.
But I’ve seen firsthand why she has the reputation she does.
In the short time I’ve worked with her, she’s fought for AuraGeothermal.
She has the knowledge to answer far more questions about the recent developments than anyone else at the company.
“Yes.” She nods. “Yes, I can do that.”
Xenakis’s big smile lets me know I made the right call. “Wonderful. I’ll make the arrangements.”
Diana waits until he’s out of earshot before she turns to me.
“You’re really okay with this?”
“Yes.” I lean down, lower my voice. “I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t trust you.”
Instead of looking pleased or happy, my words have the opposite effect. Her face falls a moment before she catches herself and glances down.
“What?”
“Ari…you don’t have to do this.”
I frown. “What?”
“I… I just need time. You don’t have to put me in charge just to show me—”
“Careful.” The warning comes out like a bullet as I try to control my sudden anger. “I asked you to represent me because I trust you, Diana. I’m not manipulating you.”
She glances around, but most of the people have moved out of the conference room and down the hall to a larger space where refreshments are being served.
She waits until the last person drifts out before walking over and closing the door.
When she turns, she looks more like a prisoner about to walk to the gallows than the woman I made love to last night.
“I didn’t say you were manipulating me, Ari.”
“Didn’t you?”
One hand comes up, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. “I just don’t want you to think you have to—”
“What? Do what you do?”
Her hand drops to her side as her head snaps up. The bleakness is gone from her eyes, replaced by furious fire.
“What?” she snaps.
“Say and do things you don’t want to because you think you have to earn other people’s love instead of just being enough?”
“That is not what I think you’re doing!”
“Isn’t it?” I fire back. “Or could it be that you’re more than comfortable encouraging me to confront my fears and overcome my trust issues while you use yours as a shield?”
“That’s unfair.” Color sweeps into her cheeks. Anger crackles around her like a lightning storm about to unleash. “You had others depending on you. I asked you only to share what was relevant. And I only asked you to trust me professionally. I never once pushed you to trust me personally.”
“No,” I reply quietly. “You didn’t.”
I don’t know if she ever will. It’s becoming all too easy to picture her by my side, in my bed, yet always just out of reach.
Her face falls. I wait, torn between hope and hopelessness.
I have my answer seconds later when she does what I’ve seen her do several times since she arrived in Iceland.
I can almost see her mentally gathering her emotions, pulling them close, closer, until she can lock them away inside and present Diana North, corporate negotiator, to the world.
Leaving the real Diana hidden so deeply I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to reach her.
“I should head back to the villa and pack.”
The door closing behind her is a loud, harsh click.
And then there’s nothing but silence.