Chapter Nineteen
Diana
A fishing boat putters out of the harbor toward the open sea. A ginormous cruise ship drifts across the water toward the port. Overhead, I hear the distant call of a wild bird.
I stand on the balcony just outside Ari’s office. The ocean is calm today, the only movement marked by the waves that, at this height, look like ripples. In less than twenty-four hours, I’ll leave it all behind. The island, the stark beauty of a wild land, people like Malla and Viktor.
Ari.
I glance around his office. The first two times I was here, I saw the grandeur, the power.
But now I see the touches that make it him: the pictures of the geothermal fields, the mountains and the wetlands.
A lava rock. Books written by Icelandic authors.
A framed letter from a school child who toured one of his plants.
A man who takes more pride in his work, his legacy, than any other man I’ve met.
My heart has sustained many cracks over the years. I never thought any could be bigger than the one my mother inflicted when she walked out on me. But as I walked out of the conference room yesterday, my heart didn’t just crack.
It broke. Shattered.
And it’s my own fault. Yes, Ari pushed me.
But he was right. I had enforced a double standard on him, constantly pushing for him to share something that was deeply painful.
I justified it because it was for the job, for the company and people he said were more important than anything, while keeping myself locked up tight.
I presented to the president and vice president yesterday.
Never have I been more nervous doing my job than I was during my speech.
I’ve cared about every project I’ve ever worked on, but this one was personal.
Not just because of Ari, but because I had become personally invested in AuraGeothermal, too, in the people and the work they did.
But in the end, the board leaders had been pleased. It had taken me nearly ten minutes to compose a text to Ari letting him know the good news, to find the right words. He’d replied with a simple thank you.
When it was my turn to step up, to grow as Ari has these past few weeks, I faltered. Now I’ve lost him.
No, I mentally correct as I cross my arms over my chest and lean my head against the cool glass, failed. For the first time in my life, I was greedy. I took everything Ari offered. I made progress. I won’t deny myself those achievements.
But when the man I was falling in love with needed me to tell him I cared, I retreated. When he placed his trust in me, freely and without any strings attached, I responded with accusations instead of acceptance.
I turn away from the window. My flight is scheduled for tomorrow morning. I’ll fly straight back to New York. My firm notified me they already have another job lined up. Something that would have excited me in the past.
Right now I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep.
I walk past Ari’s desk, glance down at the typewritten report I left him. I pick it up, read it through again as I have half a dozen times, checking for errors. There are none. I know this. But it gives me a reason to linger, to spend just a little more time in this space that’s wholly his.
I reach the end of the letter, the one I always include in my final reports.
“Thank you for giving me the opportunity to support your company.”
The paper crinkles in my grasp. It’s cold. Dismissive. Everything I accused Ari of being. Yet when push came to shove, he stepped up, confronted his past, reluctantly revealed his deepest pain to a man he previously thought an enemy.
While I hoarded my own hurts and used them as a buffer between us.
I read the last line again. If I was being completely honest with both Ari and myself, I would tell him how he was the first lover I ever trusted with my deepest secrets.
The first man I truly shared myself with, body and soul.
I would tell him how much I admired his loyalty, his commitment to being the leader his father hadn’t been, his dedication to finding the brother he never had the chance to know.
How easy it was to be myself, to laugh and joke, talk and just be.
I would tell him I love him. That I’m terrified one day we’ll wake up and it won’t work out.
But, I realize with chilling clarity, I’m suddenly, horribly afraid of not taking that risk.
For the first time in my life, the possibility of trying and living without is not nearly as frightening as the possibility of living with a what-if hanging over my head.
And if Ari still cares for me after everything that’s happened.
Tears spill over. One slides down my cheek and falls onto the letter. It may be too late.
But it may not be.
I crinkle the paper into a ball and pitch it into a trashcan on my way to the door. I stick my head out.
“Malla?”
Malla looks up and smiles, although her face is sad. “Yes?”
“Any chance you could see if my flight could get changed to Athens for this afternoon?”
She brightens, like I just told her magic was real. “On it.”
I shoot her a smile and close the door, rushing around the office and gathering up my things. I’ll need to run back to my hotel and get my passport, a couple overnight things. Do I text Ari now? Call him? Or do I surprise him?
The door opens behind me.
“Wow, that was fast. Were there any flights…?”
My voice trails off as I turn around and see Ari standing in the door. He looks just like he did that first night when he found me standing at his window, searching the skies for the Northern Lights. Handsome as sin, dominant in his realm. His face is smooth, his expression calm.
But there’s one key difference. His eyes are blazing with a swirl of emotions I can’t fully decipher, fiery blue as he steps in and closes the door behind him.
Ari
“Leaving so soon?”
Diana stares at me, eyes wide and lips parted. I scrape together enough willpower to not go to her and yank her into my arms.
I tell myself that if I give her love and she wants nothing to do with it, I’ll accept it. I have to. But I’m not letting her walk away. Not yet.
“Actually, I was getting ready to get on a plane.”
I step forward.
“Don’t go.”
She smiles at me. “Ari—”
“I love you.”
She stops. Her eyes widen. “What?”
I take another step forward. Then another.
“I love you. I finally accepted it a couple of days ago, and I should have told you the moment I knew. I was afraid it would make you run. I didn’t know if you were ready.
But then, in Greece…” I pause and hold up my hand as she starts to speak.
“Wait. Please, just let me finish. I accused you of not trusting me. But you’ve given me so much these past few days.
I told you that you had unfair standards, that you were constantly pushing me.
I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a sliver of resentment attached to that.
But I also understand you were pushing me to be a better leader, to work toward what I wanted for my company, my country, and myself.
Whereas I…” I think about her scars. “I can’t believe I even begin to compare my pain to yours. ”
“Stop.” She shakes her head. “My pain is not more important than yours. It doesn’t mean I get more leeway in this relationship to hold back, especially after I’ve been encouraging you to move forward.” Her eyes glimmer. “And you’ve grown so much.”
I close the distance between us and take her hands in mine. “You said ‘relationship.’” She nods, her smile tremulous. “But you were leaving?”
There’s a knock on the door.
“Come in.”
Diana starts to pull away, but I tighten my grasp.
Malla walks in, a huge grin lighting up her face when she catches Diana’s in my joined hands. “You slipped by me, Mr. Valdasson.”
She holds up a piece of paper. “I got you on a two o’clock flight to Athens, Diana, but I’m guessing you won’t be needing it.”
“No,” Diana says quietly. “I won’t.”
I wait until the door closes behind my secretary before I pull Diana into my arms and kiss her. With desire, relief, and love.
“You were coming back to me.”
She leans back slightly. “I’m still scared, Ari.
But I don’t want to live like that anymore.
I told myself that Liam and Aislinn were enough.
And they’re still my friends. The brother and sister I never had.
But I made my life so narrow. And then I turned my head and you were there.
And you were handsome and so sexy,” she says with a small laugh, “but you also just saw me. Right from the start. And even when I was being sassy or snarky or disagreeing with you, you still…” Her voice trails off as she cups my face. “You still love me.”
“More than anyone.”
“There’s no expiration date, no timeline—”
“I love you, too.”
I stand there for a moment, rocked by the trust and love she’s given me.
“I can’t promise there won’t be days when I doubt. Days where I may struggle or pull away.”
She grazes her fingers along my cheek, tucks stray hair behind my ear.
“I won’t ask for you to put up with my moods. If you could just wait for me, I’ll always come back to you.”
I shift, pulling her closer to me. “That’s where you’re wrong.”
She frowns. “What?”
“You didn’t just put up with me the last couple of weeks when I was rude and arrogant, when I pushed you away.
You didn’t just wait for me, you fought for me.
Encouraged me. And yes, there were times when you gave me the space that I needed.
But you didn’t just put up with me. And I’m not just going to put up with you.
We’re in this together, flaws, broken pasts, all of it. ”
She buries her face in the crook of my neck. “I thought I’d lost you. Pushed you too far away.”
“The next time you try to walk away, I might have to go caveman on you again and toss you over my shoulder.”
She chuckles. “Wouldn’t you be more of a Viking?”
I kiss the tip of her nose. Her brow. Her lips.
“Speaking of, I know this is just the beginning, but I want you to be with me. I don’t want to leave Iceland, but if we need to talk alternatives—”
“I don’t want to leave Iceland either.”
I stare at her. “You don’t?”
“No. I fell in love with you and your country and your people. This is the first place that’s ever felt like home.
I’m still going to work,” she adds quickly.
“I love my job. And I’ll go back to see Liam and, hopefully, Aislinn.
But I want to build a life here with you.
” She hesitates, sucks in a deep breath.
“I want to stay, Ari. And I want you to stay.” Fear leaps into her eyes, but so does determination, the sight of it so raw and powerful it rocks me to my core. “Stay with me, Ari.”
I told myself I would wait, give her time to get used to the idea of my feelings for her. But knowing what I do now, sharing this with her, I know I don’t want to wait one more second. I drop to one knee.
Her eyes go wide.
“Ari—”
“Diana North, you’re strong. Resilient. Kind, with a surprisingly snarky streak.” She laughs, even as tears start to fall down her face. “Please be my wife.”
“Yes.”
She nods as I surge up and gather her in my arms.
“Yes.”
I grasp her left hand, bring it to my lips, and place a kiss on her finger where the ring will go.
“You made me believe in second chances and forgiveness.”
“And you,” she says, “helped me learn to trust. To love.”
I hold her in my arms as we stare out over the harbor.
“Welcome home, Diana.”