Chapter 8
Layla didn’t like to think of herself as wishy-washy, but the almost kiss in Elijah’s kitchen really had her rethinking her stance on them dating.
Yes, the potential was still there that she’d be a rebound relationship, but after so many years of them knowing each other was she really a rebound?
She’d been honest with him about her concerns and he hadn’t gotten defensive nor had he lashed out.
Which was also a good sign that he was open to listening.
Maybe they really were good for each other?
Wasn’t the person you ended up with supposed to be your friend, too?
Which was why she had to stop herself from stomping her foot in protest when Elijah came back with the brilliant plan he’d developed after one visit to the Single-Dad Society meetup.
“Can you say that again?” she said trying to not sound as salty as the Pacific Ocean.
They were sitting on her front porch. The weather was sunny enough that she’d put on one of her “around the house” maxi-dresses which was bright pink.
She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t put on the clingy, thin dress with the thought that she may see Elijah today.
From the way his gaze had dipped to her cleavage and then hips before sticking to her face told her the choice was a good one.
He’d come over with Sabrina who wanted to play with Jasmine and give her a breakdown of their time at the park.
She’d been happy for him when he’d first mentioned going to the meet-up.
He was taking a good step to getting out there and adding more things to his life.
She just hadn’t expected him to return with such a game plan for getting back in the dating pool.
Weren’t they just supposed to be talking about dad stuff like how to cut the grass and the right wrench needed to change a tire?
“I thought about what you said and talked it over with these two guys I met. You’re right.
You are the only woman I’ve had any significant contact with since my wife left.
I can understand your concerns that I may only be interested in you because of that.
I also don’t want to just jump into this because I suddenly decided that’s what should happen.
So, I’ve decided to go on a few other dates first.”
The man was the embodiment of a double edge sword. On one side, he was listening to her concerns and taking them into consideration. On the other side, he was doing it in a way that made sense logically, but also wanted her to snatch him to her and claim him as hers.
She picked at a spot on her dress where she must have splattered coffee earlier that morning. “Who are these guys that you met?”
“Jared and Rodney. They’re single dads, too.”
“I figured that much if they were at the meet-up.”
“At first I didn’t know if their advice was good.
” His voice was reflective, and Layla had to stop herself from snorting.
“But lately everyone is reminding me that I haven’t really made any type of connections with other people.
I need a social circle and not just by connecting with other dad’s in similar situations.
After my wife left, I was so upset about her leaving me and Beenie, I didn’t even realize how much her leaving left a social hole in my life.
Our friends were her friends. Sure I did my fraternity stuff, but outside of that she planned the outings, the trips, the get togethers.
After college, I did what I thought I was supposed to do.
I got a job, got married and then had kids.
That was the rule my parents told me to follow.
Once I had a family, my dad always said married men shouldn’t hang out with single men.
That nothing but trouble came from that.
So, I stopped calling my boys from college.
When she complained because I came back late from a fraternity meet up, I stopped going to them.
I stopped everything and made my work, wife, and child my entire personality.
I put too much pressure on my wife to do the same.
I put pressure on her to give up her outside life and focus on our family.
I finally understand what she meant when she said she couldn’t be my perfect partner anymore. ”
That was the most he’d ever confided in her about his marriage or why he did some of the things he did. It made so much sense, and she could relate to the pressure he’d felt. She’d spent most of her life pushing back against that pressure.
“Things were the opposite in my family,” Layla said. “My mom gave up everything to take care of me and my brothers. My dad always had bowling night with his boys, or went to the lodge for meetings. He expected mom to just fill in the gaps, and she did. I never wanted that life.”
“I thought that by working and giving my ex the ability to stay home and take care of Sabrina that I was showing her my love. Instead, it left her lonely and feeling like she didn’t have other options.
I’ll admit, my pride was hurt when I realized my money wasn’t enough to make her happy.
” The sunlight caught the brown of his eyes making them appear almost golden. It also reflected his sadness.
“My dad thought the same thing,” Layla said.
“He told my mom that she was free to spend as she pleased, but then he’d bring it up if she bought something for herself.
He also would make little comments about how he was providing for the family so she shouldn’t be upset if he missed the occasional birthday party or school play.
That life left her feeling lonely. I tried to be like my mom when I first got married, but then quickly realized I couldn’t do that.
I’ll admit, it’s hard to keep a balance between all responsibilities.
I read in a book once that if you’re excelling in one area of your life then another area is suffering.
But does it if you set realistic expectations and boundaries beforehand?
That if you don’t want to lose yourself in whatever title you hold, wife, mother, father, husband, that you have to be honest about what you need and want as an individual? ”
He looked at her. “I believe that we can make something work with us, but I also heard what you said. Which is why I need to make sure that I’m doing the right thing before I pursue what I want with you.”
She let out a heavy breath. She really hated to admit that she understood his reasoning even more. Still didn’t stop her from asking, “Are you telling me that you’re going to go out and date other women for my sake? Because, that doesn’t sound very good for me.”
He grunted lightly. “I hear you, but you also refused me for the very reason why I’m making this decision. Have you changed your mind?”
She had, but damn her empathetic side. Elijah didn’t have friends.
He didn’t date. He hadn’t lived after his divorce.
She, on the other hand, had kept a hold onto who she was during her marriage and clung desperately to that even after her divorce.
She’d also believed what she’d said about worrying he was only interested in her because of proximity.
Silly of her to think that Elijah in all of his rule following, theory testing personality ways, wouldn’t eventually come to the same conclusion.
He needed to test the field to see if he was really ready to date her.
If she really wanted to date him, then wouldn’t it help her in the long run to find out now if he was truly interested in her or if he really wanted someone or something else.
“The, I’m listening to your concerns side of you is making me want to change my mind,” she said but kept her voice light.
“Listen, I’m doing this, but I don’t believe it’s going to change my mind about a lot of things.
I like you, Layla, and I still want to give us a try.
I don’t even have the right to ask you to wait on me.
You’re free to do whatever you want, dating wise, but if you could just keep a brotha in mind. ”
“Depends on how long this experiment of yours is going to last? I don’t have years to be waiting.”
He cringed and shook his head. “I do not plan on taking years to figure anything out. Just be patient with me, please.”
When he looked at her like that, with such sincerity and still with the smoldering of heat that said he can’t wait to get this done so he can get back to the business of her, she found herself nodding. “I’ll be sure to let you know when my patience is about to run out.”
*
A month later and Elijah wondered why he’d decided to take dating advice from two random guys he’d just met.
The dating apps were not working for him.
If anything, the dating apps had him questioning the fate of mankind.
He’d quickly matched with a few different women when he’d first signed up.
The matches happened so suddenly and with women that seemed nice.
He’d originally wondered if maybe he’d been foolish for ignoring dating apps for so long.
That belief quickly went away after arranging the dates.