Chapter 17 Salem
CHAPTER 17
SALEM
If avoiding someone could be an art, Salem would switch majors and graduate with honors.
After the disturbing dream and the disturbing realization that Caz was involved in something she wanted no part of, she had taken avoiding him to the next level. She didn’t know if he was a part of Mortemia, a group she knew for a fact existed and was supposedly made up of legacy students, a group that had no qualms leaking photos of a minor and ruining her name just because she failed to comply with their fucked-up rules she didn’t even know about. But she knew she wanted absolutely nothing to do with anything remotely related to them.
Not unless they had something to do with her sister’s and others’ deaths.
But the incident with Caz had given her something new to look into—the crest with the bird and the snake, a crest she’d never seen before.
And what was with the damn vultures? First the dream and then the logo. It was disconcerting, and if she’d believed in signs, she would’ve thought something of it.
“Your application looks good, Miss Salazar,” Dr. Bayne told her, breaking her thoughts and bringing her attention back to his office. “The only thing missing are two letters of recommendation from professors endorsing your application.”
Salem took her file back and put it in her tote. “Who would you suggest I ask?”
Dr. Bayne opened a folder in front of him. In the world of digital, he was still old school, preferring pen and paper for everything, which was why she’d printed her application out at the library this morning before coming to see him.
Library. Card. Logo.
Don’t think about it.
Bite cheek.
Stay in the present.
She shook her legs while waiting for him to consult the file. “Dr. Abram teaches your Introduction to Forensics classes, yes?”
“Yes,” she confirmed.
“In that case, I’d suggest asking her and Dr. Merlin for letters. They’re the most likely to give you them without a fuss. They have a history of writing good ones for previous applicants.”
Salem felt her stomach knot tighter than it already was at the mention of Dr. Merlin. She’d avoided him outside of class too, still trying, though, to find a way to access his office. “Could there be anyone else but Dr. Merlin, professor?”
She watched the older man glance up at her, his astute eyes taking her in. “Any particular reason?”
Salem hesitated, then decided on half a truth. “I just don’t feel comfortable enough in his class to approach him for one.”
The older man didn’t respond immediately, scrutinizing her over the top of his glasses. “That’s odd considering he was praising your participation in class the other day when I bumped into him. Said you were active in discussions, very strongly opinionated. A ‘keen, bright mind,’ he said, if I recall correctly.”
Hell.
“That’s very… kind of him.” She didn’t know what else to say. She started to stand. “I’ll have the letters to you by the end of the week, Dr. Bayne. Thank you.”
As she turned to leave, she heard the older man call out from behind her. “Salem?”
She turned, surprised. He’d always called her by her last name, as was mandated by the university.
“I know this is not the university policy, but I have to say,” he began, his hands folded on the desk. “If something is bothering you, come to me about it. I am your academic advisor, yes. But I was also a father to a daughter I lost too early. I was also the academic advisor for a student who passed too soon. I don’t want to see another life go wasted, not if I can do something about it. So if you need to discuss something, know that my office will always be open.”
Salem looked at the man in silence in the wake of his words, and swallowed the tightness in her throat, touched. He knew if she complained to the administration about what he’d said, there could be consequences. Breaking the code of conduct between students from affluent families and faculty was against the rules. He was putting his professional and academic career on the line offering her that, and yet he did it.
Even though the university had a Guidance Office, set up especially for students after all the deaths that had happened on campus. From what she knew, there were also lifeguards on the public areas of the beach, and private security that patrolled the campus just to prevent any other tragic accidents.
She wondered if someone taking a risk like that could have helped any of the students who had died. If it could have helped her sister.
“Thank you, Professor,” she told him, the sincerity in her words matching the sincerity in her heart. She appreciated this, him, more than she could say.
Dr. Bayne was a good man. A good man who had suffered too much loss but still retained the goodness inside him. The world was a better place with him in it.
He gave her a nod and she left his office, his words lingering with her.
Mortimer was changing her, making her somehow soft in a way she hadn’t been before. She didn’t know if it was her new friends and their influence, or Dr. Bayne and his steady guidance, or the back-and-forth with the bane of her existence whom she was avoiding, or even just the constant crowd of students talking about school and partying on the weekends and normal life everywhere.
She could feel herself opening up slightly, accepting that not everyone in the world was against her, that she was blending in, not as someone invisible but as one of the crowd, and it felt nice.
She exited the building and out into a rare sunny afternoon, the clouds having parted long enough to give a rare glimpse of the castle and campus bathed in full light, showing the colors of the garden, the fallen leaves, and the old stones in all their glory.
The crisp sun warming her skin, she turned her face up to it and let herself breathe in, realizing she had a week to get the letters. Dr. Abram wouldn’t be any issue. Salem was acing Forensics, because of both her interest in the subject and the online course that had already prepped her for the first-year basics. Dr. Abram was very happy with her performance in class, and very encouraging about her desire to make a career out of it.
But it was somehow getting Dr. Merlin’s signature on her letter that bothered her. She still couldn’t get the image of her sister’s pendant on his mantel out of her head. It left a tight knot in her chest, realizing the man was somehow, someway, involved in something to do with her sister and she couldn’t even find anything about him.
She suddenly opened her eyes.
Maybe she could.
She’d been trying to find ways to get into his office through the right means. What if… she tried a wrong way?
An idea taking root in her mind, she headed toward BBC, knowing exactly whom to ask for help.
“You want me to do what ?” Aditi gasped, looking around them to make sure no one heard them. Thankfully, between the sunny day and the weekend, BBC was mostly empty except for a few students finding solace in a book or research with a hot drink against one of the full windows.
Aditi leaned away from the countertop separating them, pulling a wooden section back. “I can’t have this conversation with you on the opposite side of this damn thing. Come back here.”
Salem didn’t even hesitate, walking through and getting behind the counter, looking out at the café from this new vantage. She could see everything from here—the windows, the entrance, the tables, even the main university gates at the end of the street outside. Pretty nice.
“So, let me get this straight,” Aditi began, leaning against the countertop again. “You want me to use my network and find someone who can get you access to Dr. Merlin’s office?”
Salem nodded.
“Tell me why,” Aditi demanded. “And don’t give me bullshit about him keeping your papers or something hostage. I’m not an idiot.”
Salem knew that. Aditi was smart, smarter because she made people believe otherwise. But still, Salem didn’t know what and how much to tell her. It wasn’t just about trust anymore. Salem did trust Aditi to a degree, but it was also about the other girl’s safety. She didn’t want to involve her unknowingly with some kind of danger, especially when she was planning on finding the truth by offering herself up on a platter. Aditi didn’t deserve that. But she couldn’t lie to her either.
So, as she had done with Dr. Bayne, she opted for half a truth. “I can’t be sure, but I have a very strong suspicion that he has something belonging to my sister in his office.”
Aditi’s brown eyes widened. “The fuck? How do you know that?”
Salem hesitated for a split second. “Because my sister mentioned it once in an email to me.”
Aditi’s face was somber. “She mentioned that she left it in his office?”
“Something like that,” Salem answered vaguely. “I just need to go into his office once, just once, and search for myself. It will give me some peace of mind.”
No, it wouldn’t. Because if she didn’t find anything, it would make her more restless. And if she found something, she didn’t know what she would do. Not yet.
Aditi considered her for a moment before nodding. “It’ll be done.”
Salem felt her shoulders relax. She hadn’t even realized how tense she had been, asking for help. It had gone against everything within her, but knowing that it had worked, she felt lighter.
“Thank you,” she told Aditi sincerely, realizing she was genuinely thanking the second person today for something they had done for her. Maybe pigs were flying somewhere in the world after all.
“Don’t mention it,” Aditi replied in the same tone. “I know someone who might know someone. I’ll talk to him.”
Before Salem could nod, she heard the front door open and looked automatically to see the bane of her existence walk into the café, the top of his head almost touching the edge of the doorframe, his presence suddenly making the cozy café feel congested.
She wasn’t ready to face him. Her mental preparation was shit.
Without even thinking about it, Salem ducked and hid under the counter, behind the wooden paneling that covered the front of the billing area, blocking her from sight. Aditi gave her a bewildered look before pasting a civil smile on her face and greeting the newcomer.
“Gorgeous day, isn’t it? What can I get for you?” Aditi asked in her perfect people voice. Salem could tell the difference now after knowing her for months.
“Answers,” Caz said, and her eyes fluttered in response to his voice. Damn it. She needed to reprogram her brain and block this response to auditory stimulation from her life. She was going to give up her love for sounds if it meant diminishing the effect his had on her.
She had a clear view of her friend’s face, and her smile didn’t falter. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, what the fuck —” He emphasized the word. “—is going on with your friend?”
The sheer audacity of him. Salem glared at the wall in front of her, amazed that he had the guts to walk up to her friend and demand answers like he had some kind of rights to her. He didn’t. They were nothing. Sure, they had been doing this weird dance for months. And sure, they both knew that the other wasn’t right in the head. And sure, he noticed little things about her and she about him. But that didn’t mean anything. He was just toying with her and she had better things that needed her mental energy. But who the hell did he think he was marching up to her friend and demanding answers about her like she was his?
“You’ll have to be more specific,” Aditi said without missing a beat. “I have a lot of friends.” Truth.
The sunlight streaming in through the windows next to the main door, opposite the counter, was casting shadows and she saw his massive one put its hands on the slab and lean forward.
“Do not fuck with me, Aditi.”
She had never heard his voice sound like that. Cold. Frigid. Icy. It… it didn’t suit him, at least not the him she knew, though that knowledge was limited. No, he was the collision of control and chaos, blaze and brimstone and barbarism, hellfire and hedonism, a hades of his own underworld, and damn her if a part of her didn’t want to be the girl he brought into it.
The chill didn’t match him.
Aditi sighed, unfazed. “I can’t help you if you’re not specific.”
Salem had to give it to her, the girl was brave.
“Fine,” she heard him grit out. “How’s this for specific—tell me what you know about Salem, and I’ll keep what you and Whitmore do to myself.”
Aditi and Baron? The guy who had sort-of blackmailed her? And her friend?
Wait, was he the tech friend she’d told her about?
Was she in cahoots with Baron? Did she know what he knew about her?
Was she really her friend or another pretender?
She watched her friend’s face pale, her eyes drifting to Salem for a split second before she looked back at the fully blackmailing man before her.
“You don’t want to make an enemy of him, Caz,” Aditi told him.
Caz leaned lower. “Did you know he met her early in the morning last week? All alone? Right after he left your room? Are you sure you can trust him?”
His voice, that cajoling tone, would make spirits question their own death, much less a mere mortal.
Aditi’s face hardened. “What do you want to know?”
“How well do you know Salem?”
Aditi shrugged. “As well as anyone else, I suppose. She’s pretty quiet, as you already know. Very guarded. Keeps mostly to herself. Though I don’t blame her, honestly. It’s hard enough going through shit and grief alone but having that thrown back in your face every day by cruel peers? I can’t imagine how she does it. Still stays here, I mean. I would’ve left in the first week if I’d been in her place.”
“She’s stronger than people give her credit for.”
Salem blinked, stupefied. Her friend had uttered a bunch of words saying nothing everyone didn’t already know, but he had added to it.
He thought she was strong.
She hadn’t known he perceived her that way. She’d never really thought about it but now that she did, strength didn’t come to mind. To an outsider, it could seem that way, she supposed. Still, it felt oddly nice hearing that about herself, especially coming from him.
The man with his hands right above her head, separated by a counter, nodded in the shadow. “What about Baron? Has she ever talked about him?”
“No.”
“Anything else?”
“You have to be specific.” Aditi threw up her hands. “I could keep talking and you wouldn’t find the answer you’re looking for. So just ask me what you wanna know.”
“Has she ever talked about her sister?”
Salem stilled, watching the shadow for any movement.
“Not much,” Aditi answered honestly. “She doesn’t talk about her family. She doesn’t talk about much outside of school and classes at all.”
That was true enough.
He folded his arms across his chest and his shadow expanded, became bigger, almost looming over them.
“She tell you she’s applying for the Excellency Awards?”
Salem was glad that she had, in fact, told Aditi and Melissa that a few days ago.
“Yes, she mentioned that.”
“Why?”
“She said something about honoring her sister, if I recall correctly. That she didn’t want it to discontinue and bear that mark on the family name. The awards have been around, what, like fifty, sixty years?”
Caz stayed silent for a few beats.
Salem’s thighs were beginning to burn from squatting for so long when she wasn’t used to it. She braced her hand on the side of the wall, and tried not to move or make any noise to alert the man or distract her friend.
“I need you to convince her not to apply.”
Salem bit the inside of her cheek. What the hell?
“Why?” Aditi echoed her thoughts.
“Just take my word for it,” he answered vaguely. “For her own safety.”
Aditi held her hands up. “You’re beginning to freak me out. Take this up with Salem. I’ll support her whatever she decides to do.”
Salem would have called Aditi an amazing friend, albeit one with her own secrets, had she not just learned about her association to Baron. She had shown Salem everyday aspects of friendship Salem had never known, and it filled parts of her, teaching her how to be a better friend too. But she needed to honestly clarify that the friendship was real and not fabricated like she was beginning to fear.
Caz’s wry snort broke into her thoughts, his shadow running a hand through his overlong hair. “I would, except she’s intent on avoiding me for some fucking reason.”
Aditi glanced at her for a split second, then folded her arms over her BBC apron, mirroring the man. “Did you do something?”
“I don’t know,” he confessed, and Salem felt a pang of sympathy. She could understand how her reaction that night might have confused him, left him with questions he was trying to find answers to. But at the end of the day, it wasn’t her business. She had her memories, she had her traumas, and she had more important things at the university to focus on. He’d already taken up too much of her mental real estate and energy, and she had to redirect her resources back to the task at hand, the mission she had come for—the unexplained student deaths and her sister’s illogical suicide.
Her friend didn’t say anything and neither did the man, simply heaving a sigh and walking away, his shadow getting smaller and smaller until it disappeared completely from sight.
“Well, that was fun.”
Aditi extended a hand to Salem and helped her stand. Pins and needles ran down her legs, straight to her feet, making them shake. She jumped on the spot a few times to get her circulation going, cursing the fact that she’d foregone her bra underneath the tank top and the loose, casual cardigan she had pulled over it. Her breasts, though okay enough without a bra to walk around, were not gravity-defying when she jumped like that. She made a mental note to never do that again.
“So, you wanna talk about this?” Aditi asked.
Salem quietly stood there, letting Aditi find her own words.
The other girl swallowed. “Baron and I have been… hooking up for a while.”
Salem wasn’t surprised, remembering the way her friend had danced and the man had looked at her. Aditi’s early nights in, random disappearances on the weekends, blushing whenever she talked about her tech friend—in retrospect, it should have been clear to her.
“It’s just physical though,” Aditi clarified, and Salem didn’t know who she was reassuring. “He’s got his own thing and I’ve got my own thing. We just like the physical activity.”
Salem waited a beat. “Did he ask you to be close to me?”
“In the beginning, yes.” Aditi, to her credit, didn’t flinch. Salem did though, and Aditi immediately took hold of her hands, rushing to explain. “He just asked me to keep an eye on you in the beginning, but he has nothing to do with us being friends, Salem. That is all you and me. I realized early on that you’re actually super cool and one of the smartest, most nonjudgmental people I’ve met. Sure, you’ve got baggage, but who doesn’t? It just makes you being here even more amazing, and I’m so proud to have you as a friend.”
Salem swallowed at the barrage of words, sincerely heartfelt words, and felt her eyes burning. She blinked rapidly to clear them, and gave her friend’s hands a squeeze, for the first time in her adult life choosing to believe someone’s opinion of her. “I think you’re really cool too.”
Aditi returned the squeeze, letting her hands go.
“Just so you know.” Salem adjusted her cardigan and hiked her tote bag up her shoulder. “He was lying. Caz, I mean,” she clarified, owing her friend some peace of mind even though Aditi had insisted it was just casual. “Baron didn’t meet me all alone. I was out for a walk and he bumped into me, and then he walked me back to the gates. That’s all.”
He had semi-threatened her too, maybe, but her friend didn’t need to know that.
Aditi let out a breath of relief. “Caz is an asshole.”
Salem didn’t disagree, but she also didn’t like him being called that by someone else. She didn’t say anything else though.
“You should put him out of his misery, you know?” Aditi suggested, picking up a rag and wiping down the counter. “I don’t know what happened but think about it before he goes on a rampage threatening everyone and burning the place down just because you’re ignoring him. He’s deranged enough to actually do it. That hunky chonk of a man doesn’t take being ignored by you well.”
Salem bit her lip. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk to him.”
Aditi gave her a grin over her petite shoulder. “Who said anything about talking?” She wagged her eyebrows. “Corner him and smack a kiss on him like you did at the bonfire. Climb that man like a tree and take him to pound town. He looks like he’ll show you a good time around.”
“Orgasms are good stress relief,” Salem mused out loud, and Aditi began to laugh.
“Indeed. Go relieve your stress and then tell me all the deets.”
Salem felt her lips twitch at the absurd conversation. “You’re incorrigible.”
“I know,” Aditi declared, sounding proud.
Salem prepared to leave. “I’m going back to the room to nap.”
Aditi yawned. “Lucky bitch. Nap an hour extra for me too.”
Salem gave her a nod and walked around the counter, leaving out the rear door of the café that opened into a back alley, just in case he was somewhere in the front. She needed to think about everything that had happened and she needed the peace and quiet of her room to do it.
Taking quick, brisk steps down the narrow alleyway nestled between the building she exited and another that looked empty, she took a long route around the outside of the campus, walking through the east side of the town toward the smaller back gates that only the residential block people knew about since they opened close to it. Though the gate was locked most of the time, it could be accessed with student cards.
As she walked and made her way, a smaller building she had never noticed before, since she had never been this way during the day, came into the picture.
The local police precinct.
Steps slowing, she considered the building, her mind off the events of the café, thoughts running a mile a minute in another direction entirely.
She had the whole day off, no commitments except a long-overdue nap, and a multitude of questions that maybe, just maybe, could find a new direction there. This was an avenue she’d yet to explore. Maybe it was high time.
Taking a deep breath in, hoping against hope, Salem walked toward the precinct.
When does a war end? When can I say your name and have it mean only your name and not what you left behind?
—Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Brie?y Gorgeous