Dakota
“What’s up, JR?” I overheard Zeke say.
Jace is here.
Reluctantly, I stood up from my desk, determined to fulfil my role as Lieutenant without my personal feelings coming into play.
I walked into the station’s living room. Ben and Dedric were playing football on the Playstation; Carter and Zeke were propped up at the kitchen island, deep in conversation with Jace. He stopped mid-sentence when he saw me.
“Lieutenant.” He nodded respectfully. I nodded back. “Good afternoon. I have some paperwork ready for you whenever you’re ready. No rush, take your time.”
“Yes, sir.” He went back to talking.
He has never once called me Lieutenant as a serious title. I’ve always been DK.
After grabbing a bottle of water, I went back to my office. With a shaky breath, I checked my phone, praying for a text message from Lena. Disappointment flooded my veins when I saw that she hadn’t texted me. Cassie had, of course, but I deleted those texts without even reading them.
From behind me, knuckles tapped against the doorframe.
“Busy?” Jace asked quietly. I sat my phone down but couldn’t be bothered to turn around.
“Not at all. Come on in.”
He walked cautiously into my office, shutting the door behind him. He sat down awkwardly across from my desk, clearly uncomfortable and unsure of what to say.
How many times have we sat in here just shootin’ the shit and fuckin’ off.
For the first time since all of this happened, the sadness felt stronger than the anger. Jace and I had been friends for two decades. He’s been there for every milestone, hard moment, and everything in between.
And I’m gonna miss my fuckin’ buddy.
The lump in my throat came out of nowhere but I was determined to choke it down.
“Sorry, I’m late. Lena came by the house,” he explained.
Okay, we are back to anger.
I did my best to keep my tone professional. “It’s no problem. You weren’t on a time clock. I just need you to sign your transfer paperwork.” I slid a piece of paper across the desk. Picking it up, he looked it over, knowing damn well what the fuck it said already.
“Gotta pen?” he asked.
No, dumbass, I like to chisel all my paperwork in stone.
I grabbed a pen from the jar on my desk and tossed it to him. He signed the paper with a flourish and slid it back across my desk.
“’Preciate it. Everything else will remain the same. Same locker, bunk, same everything. The only change is you work the opposite shift now, starting tomorrow.”
He nodded.
“Any questions?” I asked as I signed my own name on the form.
“Just one,” he began. “Are we gonna be able to do this without killin’ each other?
His straightforwardness caught me off guard. I cleared my throat.
“In this building, you are a brother. I’ve got your back no matter what and I hope you’ve got mine. No part of our personal problems will exist here. There will be no mention of it. We will come here, do the job that we vowed to do for this community, and go home.”
He nodded in agreement. “If there’s nothing else, Lieutenant, I’m gonna head out. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
We both stood. He extended his hand, and I shook it, doing my damndest to live up to the title the Chief thought I deserved.
And I thought the hardest part of this job would be the whole goin’ inside a burnin’ building thing.
Jolene
“We’ve been prayin’ for you, Doll Baby!” Mrs. Cheryl told me with a head tilt and a sympathetic smile. “How are you holdin’ up?”
I was already regretting my decision to stop by the bank, but I was trying to weasel my way out of the guilt of lying to my daddy and since the bank was open until 8PM today, I couldn’t resist stopping.
I’m just takin’ it one day at a time,” I told her.
Definitely stole that line from .
She pursed her lips together in disapproval. “We are all so disappointed in Jace,” she mused. “We weren’t all that surprised about Cassie, though.”
What? Why?
Before I could ask, she continued. “Her mama was always fast and loose, too, flauntin’ her fanny at any man that looked at it.”
Oh, Lord bless.
I had heard plenty of stories about Cassie’s mama over the years, about how she hid her promiscuity behind her church desk.
Oh, the fuckin’ irony.
“Lena? Is that you?” Big Jake called from his office.
“Yes, sir, it’s me,” I hollered back.
“Come on in here, Shug.”
Saved by the boss man.
“Sorry, Mrs. Cheryl,” I apologized. “I’ll be back.”
Feeling relieved, I walked into ’s daddy’s office.
He greeted me with a hug… something he’s always done but never at work.
“How you holdin’ up, Shug?” he asked me, holding me at arm’s length.
I felt myself tearing up. Big Jake was like a second daddy to me, but not so much that I knew he would lose sleep over it like my real daddy.
“I’m strugglin’, Mr. Clayton,” I admitted as much to myself as I was to him.
“No, ma’am, no formalities,” he scolded gently. “You’re not at work right now.”
“Yes, sir.”
He gestured for me to sit down. “How’s Dak holdin’ up?” he asked as he handed me a bottle of water.
“He’s back at work today,” I began. “Cassie is still at his house.”
“She what?” His face clouded up with anger.
I explained what I knew, leaving out the part about Cassie’s little picture message.
“I would have thought his standards were higher than that,” he stated truthfully.
“Love is a bitch,” I reminded him. “Dak loved, or I guess loves, her with all his heart.”
The words tasted bitter in my mouth. I took a sip of water.
“Maybe so, but she clearly doesn’t reciprocate it,” he pointed out, the statement dripping with disappointment.
He’s always loved me and Cassie like we are the daughters he never had.
“You won’t catch me arguing that.”
He sat back in his expensive chair. “I’m askin’ as someone that loves you like a daughter, not as your boss,” he prefaced. “Where do you see thing landing with Jace?”
I felt the damned tears brewing again. “It’s over for me,” I told him honestly. “I went to his house earlier to give him a bag of his stuff that he had in my car for the honeymoon, and it made me sick to even look at him.” I swallowed hard. “I don’t know for sure, but I think I might have been able to work through it, to work it out with him, if it had been anybody else but Cassie.”
Noticing the tear sliding down my cheek, he passed me the handkerchief from his front pocket.
“It’s a different level of betrayal,” he spoke softly. “Dak doesn’t know this… but when he was little, his mama cheated on me with a friend of mine.”
My mouth dropped open in horror.
“It was before the bank opened,” he went on, “I was still workin’ at the fire department – it was before the accident ? but she was foolin’ around with one of the guys that worked the day shift when I was on nights.”
Big Jake had been a firefighter when was little. An injury had taken him off the job and Clayton Community Bank was born.
I was at a loss for words. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
He rubbed his stubbly chin. “Not many do,” he confided. “I kept it under wraps because Dak was friends with Gentry’s son at school.”
This town is just full of shitty people.
“Waylon Gentry?”
He nodded. “ and Jacob were good buddies. Played rec ball together, they were in the same class at school, and they did FFA together,” he spoke as if the nearly twenty-five-year-old memory pained him. “His mama was already horrible to him. Never there, ya know… so, I kept my mouth shut about it, so she wasn’t able to ruin something else.”
My heart went out to him. We were just two blind fools, sittin’ here, puttin’ our faith in the wrong people.
“I tell you that for one reason, Lee Lee,” he sat straight up in his chair. “If you are forced to forgive someone enough times, you will eventually start to hate them.”
What does that mean?
“What I mean is…,” he continued as if he were reading my mind. “Every time you forgive them, you lose a piece of yourself until you eventually become someone you don’t even recognize… and you will resent them for causing it.”
His words danced around in my mind.
“Forgive that man, Jolene, for your own sake… but do not forget. When someone shows you who they are – believe them.”
I took a long sip of water.
“Yes, sir.”
He went back to his computer. “Take all the time off you need, honey. Your job is here when you’re ready.”
“Thanks, Big Jake.”
I walked out of his office with more mental clarity than I’d had in in months.
Long before this happened.
Jace had done things that required my forgiveness long before now. He would be mean to me if I spoke up about something I wanted to do differently in our relationship, tear me down mentally by attacking my insecurities when we would fight, he would bring his mama into our arguments then stand by while she berated me… I had forgiven a lot of things that I hadn’t been okay with because I loved him.
After talking to Big Jake, I realized that with every single thing I overlooked that I wasn’t okay with, I gave up a small piece of myself.
That’s why I have no interest in forgiving him. I’ve given all I have to give.
I quickly walked back across the bank lobby, eager to get out to my car before I was stopped by someone else.
These damn holiday hours we do this time of year have this place entirely too busy for this time of day.
“Lena!” a familiar voice rang out.
Fuckkkk me.
At the teller counter, in all her overly made-up glory, was Jace’s mama.
Fuck, fuck FUCK!
She embraced me with fake sincerity. “Sweet Lena, how are you, honey?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears.
Oh, so we are puttin’ on a show.
“I’m doin’ good,” I answered calmly. “How are you, Mrs. Linda?”
“I am heartbroken!” she wailed, pulling me into her cigarette and Chanel No. 5 scented chest.
You are in your place of employment, Lena. Mind your manners.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” I pulled away from her. “It will all be okay.”
The fact that I’m having to stand here and comfort this narcissistic bitch so that she doesn’t make a scene…
“I can’t wait to hear that you and Jace have patched things up!” she practically shouted.
“That won’t be happening, Mrs. Linda,” I spoke gently.
She put her hand to her chest in mock horror. “Jolene, you have to be reasonable!” she quietly scolded. “Boys will be boys!”
Bitch, I know you fuckin’ lyin’…
I forgot where I was. I forgot all my home trainin’.
“I think what you mean to say,” I began, “is that pieces of shit will be pieces of shit.”
“Jolene!” she chastised me. “That is unnecessary!”
“Do not tell me what is unnecessary! The whole time I was with that man, I was prayin’ that he would rise above his raising because Lord knows, if you had as many stickin’ out of you as you’ve had stuck in you, you’d be a primped-up porcupine! I guess the apple truly doesn’t fall far from the tree that everyone gets to climb, now does it?”
Her mouth hung open in genuine horror and dismay.
“You and Jace are both like a doorknob,” I continued. “Everybody gets a turn! Now, I have spent more than enough of my precious time entertaining you. Have the evening that you deserve.”
With a jaunty wave to my friends behind the counter, I walked out the front door.