Dakota
What. A. Fuckin’. Night.
I drove home with the radio off. The only noise in the cab was from the bag on the window.
This might be a record night.
Turning in my driveway, I mashed the button on my sun visor. Cassie’s car was still parked inside my garage, her knowing damn well she is supposed to be out of my fucking house.
I’m done playin’ fuckin’ nice.
I flung open the door, the force sending it slamming into my kitchen wall.
“Cassie!” I hollered. “Where the fuck are you at?!”
She came sauntering out of the living room, wearing a dress that was so small, it barely qualified as clothing.
“Good mornin’, how was work?” she asked as if everything was normal.
“Get out of my house.”
“What?” She looked confused.
“Get the fuck out of my house!” I hollered.
“What is wrong with you!?” she cried out.
“You! You are what the fuck is wrong with me!” I screamed. “How can you have the balls to still be sittin’ your ass up in my house!?
“Where do you expect me to go, Dak?!” she shot back. “I don’t have anyone!”
“Go to a hotel. Go to Jace’s. Go to HELL! I don’t give a fuck. Just get the fuck out of my house.”
She started to cry. “Why can’t you just forgive me?”
“Because you are not fuckin’ sorry! You are sorry you got CAUGHT! That’s it!”
“That’s not true!” she protested.
“Your best friend’s fiancé on their wedding day in the church office! Between you and your mama, that desk has some miles on it!”
“Oh, so you’re goin’ low,” she pointed out.
“Cassie, YOU went low! The fuck! That was my best fuckin’ friend since I was a goddamn kid!”
Reign it in, Dak, reign it in…
“If you will just listen to me, I -,” she began.
“I do not care. I don’t care. Get out of my house. Now.” I stomped up the stairs. “If you are still here when I wake up, I’m callin’ the damn law!”
I slammed my bedroom door.
Why the fuck can’t people just do what they’re supposed to do! Don’t rail people that aren’t yours to rail. Don’t plug space heaters into anything besides the actual goddamn outlet. Don’t leave candles burnin’ while you go to fuckin’ sleep!
I dragged myself into the shower, the smell of stale smoke filling the air as the scalding water heated my bare skin.
This wasn’t the first time me and the guys had gotten to the scene a little too late. It wasn’t the first time we had pulled somebody out that was no longer with us. It wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last, but it never got any easier.
This is when I need Lena’s goofy ass here to call me a dumb fuck or to whack me with a pillow.
Vowing to call her when I got out, I scrubbed myself a little faster. When I was sure I was clean and didn’t smell like the job, I switched off the water.
I dried off quickly before brushing my teeth, the last step before finally being ready for bed.
I’m sleepin’ naked today. Fuck clothes.
Grabbing my phone off the nightstand, I crawled into bed. I dialed her number from memory, my anxiety growing as I waited for her to answer. As I was getting ready to hang up, a sleepy voice came on the line.
“Hello?”
“Good mornin’, beautiful.”
I heard her yawn. “Good mornin’.”
“How’d you sleep?” I asked her.
“Not enough, but okay, I guess. I fell asleep waiting on y’all to go back in service.”
She was listening to the scanner.
“We were out there awhile.”
“I heard it was a rough call.” I could hear the sympathy in her voice.
“It was,” I admitted.
“I’m sorry.”
I sighed. “These days never get easier, ya know? They were gone already before we got there... There was nothin’ we could have done, but for some reason, none of us see it that way. This one was only about a mile and a half from headquarters over on Parrish Street. We all kept saying, if we had walked outside, we would have smelled the smoke and went sooner,” I rambled.
“You can’t think like that, . None of y’all can. Even if you had gone outside and smelled smoke, It’s December. People have fires in their fireplaces all over the city.” She suddenly sounded wide awake.
“I know you’re right,” I admitted. “It’s just hard to get past it when you have one job and you just… can’t do it.”
“Some things are just out of our control. If this last week has taught us anything, it’s that.”
She has a point.
“I know.”
“Get some rest, Dak. Things will seem clearer when you wake up.”
“When I got off this morning, Lena, I got home and I…I just wanted to talk to you. That’s such a weird feeling to me. Not that I didn’t always like talkin’ to you, you’ve been one of my best friends for years, but like, I wanted to talk to you.”
She sighed. “Put down the drink and go to sleep, bud.”
The drink? What?
“I’m not drinking anything? You know I don’t drink when I get off shift if there’s been a fatality. That takes it from a social drink to a coping drink in my mind and you know I don’t do that. I won’t ever drink to cope with doing my job.”
She already knows this.
“Okay. Get some rest, anyways. You have to work tonight.”
“Lena, what’s going on?”
“I’m tired. It’s 7AM and I was up until after five. Goodnight.”
What the FUCK?
She has always been grouchy when she wakes up but that seemed to be extreme, even for her.
A thought popped into my head that added to the wonder that already was this shitty ass day.
She’s in bed with Jace.
I sat up in bed, my crazy amping up, deciding on whether or not to drive by their house. If her car was there, she had to be there, and I’d be able to see from the road.
The only thing that stopped me was the day ahead, and the knowledge that I needed to rest to be able to do my job safely.
The community deserves you well rested and capable and your team deserves you well rested and capable. If she’s at his house, she has made her decision and it’s her decision to make.
Jolene
I couldn’t fall back asleep.
The sound of ’s voice as he described that part of the job was haunting me all the way to my core.
He needed a friend, Lena, and you rejected him.
I felt sick to my stomach.
But I don’t understand why he decided to call me…
Jace never discussed this part of the job. He always said he left it at the door. I respected the way he chose to handle it and never pressed him to talk. I knew that would open up to Cassie, but he’s never called and done it with me.
Part of me contemplated calling him back, to be there, to be his friend… but I decided against it.
I don’t want to be the source of any issue between him and Cassie, especially since she knows what we were up to in the mountains.
The more I thought about the two of them, the more I didn’t understand how mine and ’s friendship would survive it.
If he was able to look past it, that was one thing, but I wouldn’t ever be able to.
I wouldn’t ever want to be around her and she, understandably, wouldn’t want him around me alone. No matter how I envisioned it, I couldn’t see a possible way that our friendship would survive all of this, even though he and I hadn’t done a damn thing wrong.
Fed up with my own thoughts, I jumped out of bed and pulled on a pair of leggings.
I’ll go help Daddy with the animals. That should be more than enough to distract me.
After throwing on a hoodie I had stolen from Jace years ago, I pulled my hair into a messy bun.
I didn’t smell breakfast, meaning Mama must have slept in, so I tiptoed quietly down the stairs. Daddy was sitting at the kitchen table, a half empty coffee mug nearby. When I walked in the kitchen, he looked up in surprise.
“Lee Lee, good mornin’… are you okay?” He looked worried.
Bless his heart.
“Good mornin’, Daddy! I’m okay. I just wanted to help you out this mornin!”
Okay, don’t oversell it, you dumb bitch.
“I don’t believe that for a second, but I’ll be glad to let you help.”
I poured myself a cup of coffee. “Thanks.”
He put down the morning paper. “Your Mama is at the hospital with Arlene Roberts. Her sister passed away in a housefire last night and one of Arlene’s nephews is badly burned.”
That would be the house on Parrish Street…
“I heard about that.”
His brow furrowed. “Jace?”
I shook my head quickly. “No, sir. Dak. He called this mornin’ and he was pretty shaken up about it.” He folded up the paper before laying it on the table.
“I bet he was. Arlene told your Mama they left a candle burnin’ and the cat wound up knockin’ the curtain into it. From my understandin’, it was pretty out of control by the time a neighbor called it in.”
That’s so damn sad.
I took a sip of my coffee. “I listened to the scanner for a bit. I didn’t hear whose house it was, but I did hear call for the coroner.”
He nodded. “Hopefully, you talked him through it. That mess will stay with you if you let it.”
Well, Dad, I didn’t because I am as confused as Ronnie Milsap with a Where’s Waldo book.
“I didn’t really know what to say,” I admitted. “Jace never talked about it at all. He would tell me they had fatalities, but he wouldn’t talk about it beyond that. He always said he left it at work.”
“Some men aren’t big talkers.” He got up to pour himself more coffee.
“I guess I just didn’t understand why called me.”
He sat down, looking confused. “Why wouldn’t he call you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You said you don’t understand why he called you…why wouldn’t he? Y’all have been friends since y’all were kids.”
You’re making me sound even more ridiculous.
“I know that… but he’s never done it before.”
“Things aren’t like they used to be before,” he pointed out.
“Cassie is still at his house, Daddy,” my voice wavered. He noticed immediately.
He put down his cup and focused on me. “Did you ask him if he decided to stay with her?”
“No, sir.”
“Why not?”
Why haven’t I just asked him?
“I guess because I’m not sure if it’s my business. I guess I feel like if he wanted me to know then he would have told me.”
He blew on his black coffee. “If he wanted you to know, he would make sure you know.”
That’s…what I just said.
“I think so, too. has always been up front about everything with everybody.”
He nodded. “So, if he hasn’t told you, why do you think they’re back together?”
This is so a conversation for Mama.
“Cassie sent me a picture of them in bed.”
His eyes widened and he cleared his throat.
“She shouldn’t have done that. That’s just distasteful.”
Oh fuck, he’s thinking it was something sexual.
I didn’t know how to explain that it wasn’t a full-on sexual picture, but I also didn’t know how to explain how I knew the angle she was at to take the picture because I’ve woken up next to him the same way.
Can we just go feed the animals?
“I’ll call him later to check on him, Dad. Ready to go start the day?”