17. Rachel
17
Rachel
T hank goodness, Luke fell asleep on the way home. He’s been gone for a week, and I seem to have returned home with a different man. Not different, just a man I haven’t seen in years. My skin still burns where he touched me in the car.
Thankfully , Olivia doesn’t put up a fight when I put her in bed. She’s exhausted from being so excited for Luke to come home. He gave her a quick bath, but she didn’t even perk up for the opportunity to play in the water. It’s adorable, but sad because she really was over the moon to see him.
I switch off the lamp and slip from her room. I hope Luke is still here. I know he is tired too, but curiosity has me dying to talk to him. He is leaning against the kitchen counter eating from a bag of chips. I snatch it from him.
“ I’m going to make dinner if you’ll just give me a few minutes.”
“ Don’t . I don’t have the energy to wait, or eat, for that matter.”
Disappointment settles over me as I lean against the counter next to him. “ When was the last time you had a good meal?”
He smiles. “ Uh , I don’t know, around midnight last night.”
“ Pizza and junk, no doubt. Evan can’t cook to save his life. Let me make you some warm comfort food.” I reach up to open the cabinet.
I feel Luke move behind me and press against my back. His nose skims the nape of my neck. “ I can think of something warm to eat that wouldn’t require you to cook.”
Chills burst on my skin as heat descends between my thighs. I steady myself against the counter as his hips roll against mine. “ What is going on with you?”
“ I should hope it’s obvious,” he purrs in my ear.
God help me! The only reason we have lasted without a sexual relationship is because he has kept his hands to himself. I hang my head feeling weak and confused.
“ Luke , we can’t do this.”
“ Why not, babe? I want you. You want me.” As if it is just that simple.
I swivel around to face him, and the minute I see the look in his eyes, I decide it was a bad idea. The scent of him surrounds me, but it’s the scent of Evan in the mix that weakens my knees.
“ You smell like him.”
The corner of his mouth rises as he stretches his neck. “ Help yourself.”
I lean forward and breathe in deeply.
“ Or maybe you’d like to see the bite marks he left for you to find.”
The moan that slips from my lips has me whipping back because what the hell am I even doing? Luke chases me, kissing and nipping at my neck. I’m hyper-aware of his large hands framing my hips and angling them back and forth as he grinds against me.
Desperately , I push at his chest. “ What are you doing?”
He bites my earlobe. “ Seducing you. This standoff between us is over, Rachel .”
I slip from his hold and distance myself. “ What has happened to you? I feel like I picked up your evil twin at the airport.”
“ Nothing has happened to me…” He pauses and smirks. “ Well not nothing, but I’m still me.”
I wave my finger at him. “ No , you are not! Where is sweet, kind Luke who hasn’t so much as tried to hug me too tight in years?”
He sighs and begins unfastening his belt. I step backward as if I could escape him.
“ He is tired of this dance we’ve been doing. He is the same person that wanted you then. You think I don’t dream about the way you taste, jack off to the thought of being inside of you?”
“ So you didn’t sleep with Evan ?” I pop my hand over my mouth. “ Forget I asked that.”
He lifts his chin. “ What if I did, babe? Would you want me more? Let me make love to you again?”
I cover my ears and squeeze my eyes shut. “ Please stop, Luke ! This isn’t okay. Nothing has changed.”
The air shifts around me, and suddenly I’m engulfed in his arms. “ Everything has changed,” he growls.
He licks my mouth and scrapes his teeth over my bottom lip. I try not to give in, well, I think I try, but my mouth parts for his probing tongue. Warmth , and want, flood through me. God forgive me, but I melt against him, letting him lift me onto the kitchen table and grind his hard cock between my thighs. The scent of the two of them overwhelms me once more as my mind imagines Evan is here too, reaching around Luke to tweak my nipples.
I have no defenses with Luke . Never have. The familiarity of this is like a damn drug, pulling me in, and wanting more. As much as I want to deny that things aren’t different than they were all those years ago, I know better. I can feel the differences beneath my fingers. Luke is harder, broader, towering over me with more confidence than before.
I pull away and curl against his chest. “ Please stop,” I murmur.
His fingers weave through my hair. “ Give me one good reason why I should.”
“ Olivia .”
A wedge appears between us as he steps away and adjusts his cock. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and stands there assessing me with his golden eyes. I feel raw under his gaze. If he approaches me again, I’m going to let him have what he wants, because, despite my best efforts, I need him more every day.
He plants his hands on his hips and nods. “ Yeah , okay, Rachel .”
When I look up, he steps to the side, grabs his hat off the hook, puts it on his head, and forcefully pushes the screen door out of his way. When it slams against the doorframe I jump. My heart feels like it’s outside of my body. I watch as he walks into the dusk, toward the barn.
“ Don’t leave me,” I whisper to his retreating silhouette.
I hate this! I hate all of this! Hate that I can’t be with him the way we both want.
LUKE
This isn’t over. Not by a long shot. Evan has finally let down his walls, and we are lovers now. Doesn’t matter what either of us would like to believe, Rachel is missing. Maybe he’s not to this point yet, but I am. I’ve been patient, and I’ve been good, waiting for both of them. I’m not a kid anymore, and regardless of Rachel’s argument, Olivia isn’t a baby. I want my family. I want the relationship the three of us deserve.
“ I don’t know how it’s all going to work out, girl, but it’s time to fight for what we want.” I brush my hand across Spirit’s shoulder as I lean against her. “ I missed you.”
She jerks her head up and snorts. I rub my hand down her nose before offering her another carrot stick. I filled up my pocket while Rachel was putting Olivia to bed. Taking the carrot, she curves her neck back and nuzzles my chest. I ruffle the mane between her ears which are twitching back and forth.
“ I need to go to bed. I can barely hold my eyes open.”
She huffs at me, further validating that she understands every word I say.
“ Tomorrow , though, you and I have a date. I owe you a much-needed ride to Shadow Thorne . I’ve got some photos I need to take.”
I hug against her before leaving the stall and heading upstairs. Seeing my bag, waiting to be unpacked, has me groaning.
I hadn’t expected the gift of inspiration while I was in Chicago , but now I am excited to take the photos I’ve envisioned in my head. I still can’t admit that Hugo was the source of my inspiration, his art actually. Grabbing my camera bag, I take out my camera and consider uploading all of the photos I took of Evan to my laptop. If I do I’ll be up all night editing them.
Chuckling to myself, I rub my cock through my jeans. More like jacking off to them all night . Turning on the camera, I flick through the images on the digital display. The sight of Evan , on his stomach, spread across the bed has my knees weakening. I sit on the bed and let my memories shove away my reality.
I want this. Not just my relationship with Evan . I want to work on my photography. These ideas I have for merging nature photos with human landscapes is a game changer. It’s as if a door has been thrown wide open, and for the first time, I can see a future beyond this damn ranch. Things are going to change. I feel it in my bones. This is an opportunity for me to have my own career, my own life.
I’m going to have my own income that doesn’t depend on this ranch, even if I have to sell it. I need this as much as I need Evan and Rachel in my life. It’s easy to imagine building a home with them in Shadow Thorne and raising a family together. No fucking idea how that is all going to come together, but I know it will happen. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my entire life.
So Rachel is going to have to get on board with Evan and me. Despite the judgment of others, we can make it work. Olivia will have a loving family, and Shadow Thorne is far enough away that we can isolate ourselves from this godforsaken town. They can talk shit all they want. I don’t give a damn. I won’t let our love hurt Olivia , Rachel , or Evan for that matter. Rachel can quit her job and raise our babies if she wants. I want so many children with them. The thought makes my heart swell in my chest.
As for Evan , he can be an architect wherever he is. He needs this time to get experience and make a name for himself, but someday, he can be his own boss, and design everything from our house in the valley; the house he will design, and we will build together.
My phone rings, and I smile when Evan’s face pops onto the screen.
“ I’m going to need you to get that fine ass of yours back on a plane and come home.”
I laugh a little too loud. Fuck , I am so tired, I’m delirious. “ It’s your turn to bring your peach-shaped ass back to this home.”
Extending his arm, he holds the phone over him, revealing his naked form, spread out over his bed. The sight of his hard cock makes my mouth water.
“ I’m curious. Are you missing my cock in your mouth, or your ass, more?” he asks.
“ Fuuuck !” I groan.
I stand and start undressing, quickly pulling my shirt over my head. When I’m completely undressed, I mirror his position on my own bed.
“ I fucking miss all of it, baby.”
He growls out a moan as he tugs more rapidly on his cock. “ I miss feeling you inside of me, Luke .”
Fucking hell, I’m going to come faster than a teenage boy at a titty bar!
“ Suck on those fingers and finger your ass for me,” I demand.
“ I can’t hold the phone and finger my ass,” he says, letting go of his cock to switch the phone to his other hand.” It is a damn beautiful thing when Evan follows orders.
“ You leave that thick cock to me, little brother. You know I can still make you go off like a rocket without touching it.”
“ Shit !” he curses as he raises his knees to his chest and pushes two fingers into his ass.
“ That’s it. Come on, don’t make love to your fingers, fuck yourself.”
“ I never should have let you get on that damn plane!” he says through gritted teeth.
“ Can’t change the way things are.” I watch his fingers with rapt attention, following his forceful rhythm as I stroke my cock. “ I miss your heat, Evan .”
His cock jerks against his stomach. He loves for me to talk dirty to him. Doesn’t matter how crass or crude, which makes it even hotter. Don’t get me wrong. I love pussy. I adore fucking Rachel , and the way her walls slick up my dick and squeeze me until I can’t see straight. But the way I can be dirty and rough with Evan is off the chain.
“ Three .”
His fingers thrust out and a third joins them as they dive back inside.
“ I’d fuck you so hard you would feel my cock hitting your spine.”
He growls and rocks back and forth. He forces his eyes open, looking at me with so much desire the phone might combust. “ Need your cock!”
I know this isn’t ideal and nowhere near the same thing as being together, but it will have to do. We will have to make the most of our days apart.
“ Maybe I should have a dildo of my cock made for you.’
He moans and writhes on the bed.
“ Ooo , you like that idea, don’t you?” His movements become more sporadic as his arousal heightens. “ You could lube it up until it’s nice and slick and fuck yourself with it while you jerk that delicious cock of yours.”
His back arches as he growls loudly. Cum shoots up, landing on his chest and stomach painting his skin in white stripes. I lose it, causing my own cum to jet over my torso and down my hand.
“ Fuck ! Evan !” I groan as I squeeze every drop from my throbbing dick.
When I open my eyes again, my view has changed to that of his apartment ceiling. I can see his side as it quickly rises and falls. I lay my phone on the pillow next to me and listen to his labored breaths that match my own.
“ Every night?” he asks.
My mind spins. Between being sleep deprived, and coming like a damn volcano, I don’t have any coherent thoughts.
He picks up the phone. “ Where did you go?”
“ Can’t breathe,” I pant.
He chuckles. I turn my head enough that I can see him.
“ Hold on. Let me clean this up,” I tell him before raising up to grab a cloth from the bathroom. I wipe up my chest as I make my way back to the bed, take the phone and lie back down.
The look of bliss on his face makes me smile.
“ What are you smiling about?” he asks playfully.
“ How utterly spent you look.”
His expression falls. “ I miss you, Luke .”
“ I miss you too.”
“ So are we going to do this every night?” he asks.
“ I hope so. If not, we will do it as often as possible. Need to make plans to be together again.”
“ Already been thinking about it. We’ll figure something out.” The optimism in his voice gives me peace.
It’s silent for a while as we bask in our euphoria. I suddenly miss him more than I thought possible. It almost hurts too much to even see him lying naked on the bed where we gave into our desires.
“ I love you, baby, but I am so tired I’m stupid. I need a shower too.”
He smirks. “ I knew I smelled something.”
“ You wish!”
His eyebrows shoot up as his mouth turns down. “ True .” Then he smiles showing his dimples. “ I love you too. Now get some sleep.”
The call ends abruptly, but it makes sense. Goodbyes will never be the same between us.
RACHEL
As much as I intended to sleep in, and have the day all to myself, I couldn’t. I wanted to make breakfast for Luke and see my baby off this morning. I probably went overboard with breakfast, but Olivia was in heaven, having waffles on a weekday, and a Monday no less. I actually had to wake her up this morning. Poor girl was exhausted. Luke was the first thing she asked for when she woke up.
My eyes glance at the barn for the hundredth time this morning. Luke is usually on time for breakfast.
Evil twin, I’m sure of it.
The screen door creaks, and Luke enters the house like a force of nature, knocking the dust off his jeans and hanging his coat and hat on the hook.
“ LUKE !” Olivia hops up, runs to him, and wraps herself around his legs. His fingers dance over her hair.
“ Hey , squirt!” He drags her along as he makes his way to the sink to wash his hands.
“ You’re late!” she reprimands, causing me to snicker behind my coffee cup.
“ I know!” He scoops her into his arms and sits at the table with her on his lap. “ I’m sorry,” he says to me. “ I took Spirit out for an early morning run. We were having too much fun.”
“ She missed you too!” Olivia says matter-of-factly.
“ What are you eating?” Luke asks with mock surprise.
“ Mommy made waffles.”
“ What’s the occasion?” But he knows because he gives me a knowing smirk.
“ Mommy missed you too.”
“ She did, did she?”
“ Uh -huh!”
Luke fills his plate with two waffles, bacon, and eggs. He lets Olivia pour the syrup, and my heart melts when he feeds her the first bite. If she keeps eating like that, she’s going to pop. After a few bites, however, she lays her head on Luke’s shoulder, sticks her thumb in her mouth, and twists one of his curls around her fingers.
I can’t even be mad she is sucking her thumb because my ovaries just exploded. I’m blindsided with fantasies of carrying Luke’s child… and where the hell did that come from ? I stand so quickly, that my chair screeches across the floor and then falls backward.
Both sets of eyes shift my direction.
“ You okay?” Luke asks.
“ Uh -huh!” I set the chair upright and escape to the sink, so I don’t have to look him in the eye.
I hear Luke chuckle, but he doesn’t say anything. My body is tingling with excited anticipation. Of course, I’ve thought about having his kids. Hoped Olivia was his…ours, but not since… One kiss and I swear I’m losing my mind.
I place my empty cup in the sink and whirl around. “ Alright missy! Time to get dressed.”
“ But I want to stay here with my Luke !” she whines, clinging to Luke like he can save her from daycare.
He kisses her forehead and pries her arms from the death grip she has on his neck. “ Listen to your mother, Little O . You have new things to learn, and she needs a day off. Besides , I’m taking you this morning.”
“ You are?”
“ Yep ! Now go get dressed.”
He sets her on her feet, and she takes off around the corner squealing in delight.
“ You sure you’re alright?” he asks before I can escape.
“ I’m fine.”
He leans back in his chair spreading his knees. “ Thinking about that kiss last night?”
I roll my eyes, but I’m more flustered than I let on. “ No ! I’m tired from being a single parent for over a week. I’ll get her ready, but then I’m going back to bed.”
I almost make it into the hallway when I hear him say in a low voice. “ I can join you when I get back.”
“ What ?” I whip around. “ Just …stop! Just …argh, don’t you have stuff to do today?”
He chuckles, and I swear I feel the implication in my toes. “ Babe , I always have time to do you.”
“ Evil twin!” I glare at him and quickly leave the room. Even from Olivia’s room I can hear him laughing.
It takes the entire time I need to get Olivia ready before I feel calm enough to face him again. Even then I am not fully prepared. I wish I was going to work today because I don’t think it’s wise to be here alone with him. How am I supposed to resist him when he is like this? I’m a strong woman, but have you seen Luke Garrett ? I have seen him, all of him! Suddenly , I remember him naked, and it knocks the wind from me.
“ What’s wrong, Mommy ?” Olivia asks, tilting my face back up. I had to close my eyes while tying her shoes because the thought of him made me dizzy.
“ I’m fine, baby. Go on, Luke’s waiting.”
She tears out of the room, and I decide it’s best if I hide in here, like the coward that I am. I plop down on the floor and hide my face in my hands. Their voices filter softly from the kitchen.
“ Bye Mommy !” Olivia calls.
“ Bye ! Have a good day,” I call back.
“ Bye Mommy ! Thanks for the waffles!” Luke yells.
I flop down on my back in the middle of the floor. What the hell did Evan do to him in Chicago ? The mere question makes my face heat. The sad part is that I wish I knew, every dirty detail. I want to know all of it because no matter what Luke might say, he got laid. That is the only way to explain his cockiness.
My eyes fly open with the thought that maybe he was with a woman, and not Evan . That has me sitting up straight. “ God no!”
“ God no , what?” His voice startles me, causing my heart to run away. I slap my hand to my chest and try to catch my breath.
“ You scared me.”
He enters her room and opens the closet. “ You didn’t give her a jacket. It’s a little cool today, so I thought I would grab one before we left.”
“ Where is she?”
“ Relax , she’s in her car seat.” Luke crouches down and caresses my face. “ Why are you so jumpy today, Little Peach ?” I lose the capacity to speak as he grazes my mouth with his thumb. “ I missed you so much,” he whispers.
Tears sting my eyes. I’m overwhelmed with everything Luke . It’s as if he returned ten times more himself than he has ever been.
Ever so slowly, he leans in with his gaze locked on mine and plucks my lips with his. My eyes fall closed as he deepens the kiss. It feels like sinking into warm water, soothing and peaceful. When I mumble something incoherently, he brushes his nose against mine.
“ I’ll be back in a bit. I know exactly how to calm you down… if you’ll let me.”
“ Please …”
“ Shh , stop fighting what you know you want.”
I hide my face in my hands again so he can’t kiss me anymore. “ Just go! We both have things to do today.”
He hums knowingly. “ If you insist. You know where to find me.” He stands, and I swear I don’t breathe one breath, even after he leaves the room.
I sit there like a child long after I hear the gravel crunching under his tires as they leave. All I know is that I cannot be here today. Suddenly I have the perfect excuse to run errands. I think I will even have lunch in town all by myself. He can fend for himself today because I cannot be alone with him right now!