Chapter 37
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
FLYNN
We sat together for a while. Neither of us saying much, yet his smoky scent was comforting. My hand yearned to reach out and take his in mine. To begin to make more of a connection with him. My alpha. My Kismet.
Fuck, it’s so weird saying that. I still haven’t fully processed it.
“I’m going to go check on Sasha and Levi.” Stone stands, his eyes locked on me.
"Okay. I think I need to be alone for a bit," I say, my voice a little too steady. I’m not physically drained, but my mind is running on empty, and I need a minute to process everything.
He gazes at me for a moment, a longing present in his eyes. I wish I could give him more, but I feel broken, unsure of what I can give. If I am even able to be what they need me to. Not to mention, I have my pending heat looming over me and no idea what I plan to do. I know I told Allegra I’d talk to them about it, even ask for their help. But I don’t know how to bring it up to them.
I head up to my room and open the window, allowing the cool breeze to blow into the room. I move over to the bed and crawl into the middle, resting my back against the headboard as I pull my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.
I stare at an obscure spot on the wall, maybe where a nail had once been, while my mind races. I know I should feel safe—Stone, Sasha, and Levi rescued me—but fear still gnaws at me, digging deeper with each passing second.
I exhale shakily, rubbing at an old scar on my wrist. “I can do this,” I say softly. “I can tell them. Ask them to be with me, to help me through my heat. If they don’t want to, then I can ask if they can at least get me toys to help me through it.”
A soft knock at the door pulls me from my musings. “Come in.”
The door opens with a creak, and a petite brunette pops her head inside. “Care for some company?” Sasha flashes a smile and I can’t help but laugh. I don’t know why, but since she stepped foot into the bedroom at Carlisle’s house, she’s soothed my soul in a way I’ve never known possible.
Her familiar scent of coconut and lime washes over me as she steps further into the room, shutting the door behind her. She doesn’t say anything at first, just lowers herself down on the bed beside me, her shoulder brushing lightly against mine as she joins me in my stare off with the tiny hole.
“You’re thinking too hard,” she finally says, her tone gentle but firm.
I huff out a humorless laugh. “Maybe, or I could be silently composing a novel.”
She nudges me. “Not that I doubt your talent of being a highly acclaimed author, but I stick to the first guess of thinking too hard.”
I let the silence stretch for a moment before whispering, “I don’t want to be a burden.”
Sasha sighs, tilting her head to look at me. “Flynn?—”
“I mean it,” I interrupt, voice raw. “You, Stone, Levi—you’ve done so much for me already. And I keep wondering… at what point do I stop being worth the trouble? When do you cut me loose, no longer wanting the burden that comes with me? Just promise me you’ll make sure Allegra’s safe. I don’t care what happens to me as long as she’s safe.”
Sasha stiffens beside me, and I immediately regret my words. But then she speaks, quiet but fierce. “You think protecting you is a burden?”
I go still, then blink at her. “Um, I—well, I don’t know, I just assumed.”
“That’s your first problem Flynn, you assumed. Protecting you is never a burden. It’s a fucking privilege. I never thought I’d have a Kismet. But I do. And he just happens to be Kismet to the alpha I love, to the man I’m bonded to. So, tell me honestly Flynn, why do you think being protected is a burden?”
I swallow hard, glancing away, not wanting to face her when I confess my truth. “Because I don’t want to be weak.”
Sasha lets out a slow breath. “Flynn, you are in no way weak. I don’t know many people who would or could go through what you did at the hands of the Carlisle Pack. You gave your life to protect your sister. That’s not weak. That’s brave.” She pauses for a minute, taking a deep breath. “Do you know how exhausting it is to be the one always standing guard?”
My gaze snaps back to her, startled by the honesty in her voice. “Sasha—” I’ve barely said her name before she shakes her head, stopping me.
“I’ve spent my whole life making sure others were safe,” she continues, her voice quieter now. “It’s… lonely sometimes. Carrying that weight. But you?” She pauses for a moment, biting her lip as she looks up at me through her lashes. “You remind me why I do it. It’s not about duty. It’s about love, about connection. About knowing there’s someone worth protecting. And Flynn, you are worth it. I’d give my life for you.”
My throat tightens. Her life. I’ve never had someone tell me that before. To be this honest with me, other than Allegra. “I don’t know how to let myself believe that.”
“Then I’ll keep reminding you until you do,” she says simply.
I don’t know what takes over me, but before I can stop myself, I lean forward, wrapping my arms around her. Sasha’s scent envelops me. I inhale deeply, burying my face in her hair as I hold her tightly.
My heart pounds against my ribs. It’s taking everything in me not to tilt my head just a little, so that I can brush my lips against hers. I want it so badly. But does she? Is it too soon? I still need to talk to the three of them about my upcoming heat and how I’d like to handle it. The thought of that conversation sends a fresh wave of uncertainty through me.
Before I can dwell on it any longer, my stomach lets out a loud, unruly growl, breaking the tension and sending us both into hysterical laughter.
“Come on,” Sasha says between chuckles. “I was coming up to get you for dinner. We just got a little sidetracked with our conversation.”
She climbs off the bed and holds out her hand. I take it, allowing her to pull me to my feet, and together we make our way downstairs. The warm aroma of food fills the air as we step into the kitchen, where Levi and Stone are already setting Chinese takeout onto plates.
“Hope you’re hungry, Flynn. We got a lot of food.” Levi smiles widely.
“I am,” I admit, moving toward the table and taking a seat. The others follow suit, settling in around me. I can’t help but feel at home.
Stone reaches across the table, placing a plate in front of me, the scent of the food making my stomach rumble in anticipation. I’ve barely taken my first bite when the sound of phones buzzing cuts through the air.
Both Stone and Levi check theirs at the same time, then look at each other with a knowing nod. I grip my chopsticks tighter as I watch their expressions shift from relaxed to tense—pissed and concerned all at once.
Something’s wrong.
Before I can find the words to respond, Stone’s deep voice cuts through the tense silence. “We’ve got another message.”
My stomach twists in knots. I push my plate away and stand. Sasha places her hand on mine. “Sit down, Flynn. Let them tell us what’s going on.” I lower back down to the chair, my leg bouncing anxiously as I look to my two alphas for an update.
Stone turns his phone around to show me the screen. “It’s from Tom.”
The words on the screen are short, clipped, but each one sends a chill down my spine:
You don’t have as much time as you think.