Chapter 15 #3
Asher’s pace changed suddenly — his hips snapping harder, deeper, his fingers digging into Levi’s hips hard enough to grind bone against the heel of his palm.
The pleasure tipped with too much edge on it, punching a sound out of Levi that was closer to pain than anything he’d experienced since their first time together as his vision tunneled and his skin went cold.
“Too hard,” Levi gasped, his face tingling and his fingers numb in the sheets. “Asher — slow —”
His voice cracked on it. His body was hitting a wall the wanting couldn’t push through — the fear was back, real and sharp, the reminder that the person inside him had hurt him before and meant it and Levi, like an idiot, said not gentle.
“Is that what you want?” Asher panted, his mouth hot against Levi’s ear, and his hips stilled. “Will you still be good for me?”
“Yes,” Levi grunted, blinking away tears. “Yes, please…”
Asher pulled out so suddenly Levi almost collapsed face-first into the mattress, a sound leaving his throat that was half-relief and half-loss.
Asher shifted against the headboard and moved Levi — lifting him and repositioning him while he tried to catch his breath.
Levi was straddling his lap before he fully understood what had happened.
His knees were on either side of Asher’s waist, his hands braced on Asher’s chest, sweat cooling on his skin.
Asher looked up at him through dark lashes, his face flushed as he caught his breath too.
“You’ve been under me every time,” he said, squeezing Levi’s thighs as he flashed a smile that was as warm as it was wicked. “I want to see you do it.”
“I don’t know how to —”
“I know…that’s the part I want to see.” He leaned forward and latched onto Levi’s nipple without warning, sucking hard, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin while his tongue worked in fast circles.
Levi gasped, the sensation shooting straight down through his stomach and into his cock where it throbbed against Asher’s abdomen. “Fuck — Asher, that’s —”
Asher released the nipple and blew cool air across it, watching the skin prickle as Levi shivered. “Now use your hand,” he said. “Grab my cock and sit. Slowly. I want to watch.”
Levi looked down at him. At the calm face, the thumbs on his hips, and the whiplash of the last thirty seconds made Levi’s head swim almost as much as the position itself — on top, exposed, hard and leaking against Asher’s stomach while Asher’s cock pressed hot against the cleft of his ass.
His body was still carrying the fear from before and the arousal from now and neither one was winning.
He’d never done this. His thighs were already burning from holding himself up, Asher was watching with the patience of someone settling in for a show, and the mechanics of what he was supposed to do next were entirely abstract.
With his hand shaking, he reached behind himself and his fingers closed around the base of Asher’s cock.
Levi’s face burned as he tried to line up, but the angle was awkward and his fingers slipped twice before the head pressed against his entrance, still sensitive and slick from before.
He could feel Asher’s eyes on him, watching him fumble, and his face burned so hot he thought his skin might actually be radiating heat.
This is the most exposed I’ve ever been in my life and he’s enjoying every second of it.
Levi sank down. Not by choice — his thighs were trembling so badly that slow was the only speed available to him.
Inch by burning inch, gravity pulled him down while his muscles fought to control the drop, the fullness deeper from this angle, his body weight forcing him open in a way that made his breath stutter and his fingers dig into Asher’s chest.
“Keep going, baby.” Asher’s voice had gone rough, his fingers twitching at Levi’s sides like he was trying very hard not to push him down. “You’re doing so good. Feel how you’re shaking? That’s you figuring out how much you need this.”
Levi’s legs wobbled and he sank another inch without meaning to, the loss of control pulling a whimper from him that he couldn’t catch. “I can’t— it’s too deep like this, I can’t…” His voice was humiliatingly high as his legs threatened to give out entirely.
Asher grinned and, in one brutal motion, shoved him down the rest of the way Levi cried out, shaking, curling inward as he collapsed forward onto Asher’s chest with his hands splayed against the headboard.
“T-too…much…” he managed to whimper, his skin feeling like it was going to vibrate off his body.
“Fuck —” Asher’s voice cracked, his forehead against Levi’s collarbone. “You’re so — God — move, Levi. Ride me.”
Levi didn’t want to move until the aching stopped, but Asher moved him anyway, forcing his hips to roll forward.
Levi winced and grit his teeth. Fuck it.
He dug his fingertips into the headboard, feeling the varnish scrape up under his nails, and he moved, searching for the right way to move that worked from this direction.
When he found the angle that hit his prostate just right, it was a relief so intense he nearly sobbed, dropping his head too hard and hitting his forehead against Asher’s.
“There it is,” Asher groaned. “That’s the one. Do it again.”
He did it again. And again. His rhythm was unsteady, his breathing ragged, and it was so good his vision was blurring at the edges — but his legs were failing fast. Within a minute his movements were slowing, every rise an act of will, and every descent a graceless drop that punched sounds out of both of them.
“Look at you,” Asher growled. “You’re trying so hard for me. Dripping on my stomach. You’re so fucking beautiful when you’re desperate, you know that?”
Levi’s legs gave another inch before the combination of praise and humiliation and the exhaustion made the room tilt. His body was simply done, the muscles spent, his want still screaming but the flesh unable to deliver what the want was asking for. “Asher, my legs — I need —”
Asher’s palms slid to the outside of Levi’s thighs, taking the weight, his fingers curling under his legs. And then he lifted.
Levi felt his body come up, smooth and controlled, Asher’s arms doing the work his legs couldn’t — and then Asher pulled him back down with the same strength.
“You need me.” Asher held Levi in place, thrusting up into him harder. “And I need you. That’s how it works. That’s how we work.”
Asher then flipped him. Levi was on his back before he registered the movement — the ceiling and Asher above him with glassy eyes.
Asher hooked one of Levi’s legs over his shoulder as he drove back in and the angle was devastating.
Levi didn’t know if he was sobbing or moaning or begging anymore.
All there was was Asher, inside him, over him, caging him in and subsuming him.
Asher pushed Levi’s other leg up, folding him nearly in half, his palm behind Levi’s knee, pressing it toward his chest. The angle deepened and Levi’s vision whited out at the edges, and the sound he made was wrecked and continuous and he couldn’t stop it.
He couldn’t stop any of it — his hands on Asher’s forearms, his nails leaving marks, all of it so intense it had crossed over into something that didn’t have a name.
Past pleasure, past pain, just sensation, enormous and relentless, and his brain had gone offline so completely that the sounds coming out of his mouth were not being approved by any conscious part of him.
“God, look at you —” Asher panted above him, his control fracturing with his words. “Your eyes are — fuck, baby, you’re shaking, you’re so fucking pretty —”
Asher’s hand left his knee, wrapping around the column of Levi’s throat and squeezing, the heel of his palm grinding into Levi’s collarbone.
The pressure on his trachea was enough that his next breath came thin and tight.
Asher pushed down harder, his weight, each thrust, his grip, even the give of the bed all working together to press Levi into the mattress like Asher was trying to fuck him through the goddamn box spring.
Levi’s pulse hammered against Asher’s fingers.
The old fear was there again — somewhere distant — but it was buried so far underneath everything else that his body didn’t care.
The only thing that mattered was more… more intensity, more proof that he was alive inside his own skin.
His cock throbbed between them, his vision was narrowing and every nerve was so overloaded that the squeeze on his throat was just another frequency in the wall of sensation, and he couldn’t tell where the fear ended and the want began and it didn’t matter, because they had always been the same thing with Asher.
“Tell me this is real,” Asher gasped against his mouth, his hand loosening just a fraction. “You’re mine, Levi…mine—FUCK—every part….every part of you is mine….”
“It’s real —it’s real, Asher, it’s—oh God, I’m so close.
I’m so fucking close,“ Levi rasped. He clawed at Asher’s shoulders, every muscle in his body seized taut in an agonizing clench from his toes to his jaw, the fire in his gut twisting like a knife that he couldn’t escape.
“Please, Asher, please don’t stop, I’m yours, I’m — fuck, I can’t, please, please —! ”
His body clenched around Asher in rhythmic pulses as he spilled hot across his own stomach.
Asher’s hand stayed on his throat, the pressure making everything sharper, brighter, the orgasm extending past the point where he thought it would end, his body convulsing in waves that kept coming and his mouth kept saying things he couldn’t stop — “Don’t let go, don’t stop, don’t let go, I’m yours, I’m yours —”
“You’re so tight when you cum — I-I can feel your heart — fuck, Levi,” Asher gasped, sweat dripping down his temple as his voice broke apart, word by word, his breath coming in sobs. “I love you — fuck — I love you, I love you, Levi, I love you —”
The words poured out of him like they’d been ripped free, a raw declaration spilling out of his mouth as he grabbed Levi’s hips and he buried himself deep, his whole body shuddering.
Levi’s name and those three words tangled together until they were the same thing — “I love you, Levi, I love — Levi —” His forehead dropped to Levi’s chest as he pulsed inside him and Levi could feel every spurt of it, hot and deep, with Asher’s mouth against his sternum, still saying it, quieter each time, “I love you, I love you,” until the words were just breath.
Levi’s hands were in Asher’s hair. His eyes were burning. Every muscle in his body twitched in different intervals. His throat was raw — from the screaming, from the grip, from the words that were sitting right behind his teeth, pressing against the inside of his mouth, wanting out.
Asher’s lips kept moving on his chest, and the thing that made Levi’s eyes sting worse than the words themselves was that he recognized the shape of Asher’s lips on his skin like this.
Back on the ship, when they had been floating and Asher wouldn’t let go, this was what he had mouthed on Levi’s skin.
Levi’s fingers moved through his hair in the slow stroking rhythm that Asher had used on him.
His throat tightened, not from the rapidly forming bruise there, but from the thing living behind his teeth.
It’s real.
I’m going to get us out of here so it can be real out there too.