Chapter 37
Difficulty Mode: Expert
Player One
Levi made it through two bites of eggs before he tried to rush to the bathroom. He ended up throwing up into the sink. Asher was behind him before the second heave, one hand on Levi’s back, patting it gently like he had seen people do in movies when comforting someone who was sick.
It felt nice.
“You’re okay,” he said softly. “It was a good try.”
Levi shuddered, his head hung low as he gripped the countertop for support.
Asher really wanted him to move his hands, to have Levi hold onto him for support like he did back in the game, but he knew it would be harder to get Levi to cling to him out here.
He’d figure it out, though. Once Levi was done being nervous and shocked, they could be inseparable again.
Levi’s pajama pants had caught on his foot in his rush towards the bathroom, and Asher could see a strip of exposed skin on his lower back he definitely wanted to put his mouth on.
He ran his hand down Levi’s back until his fingers brushed along the bare flesh, just to feel it.
It had been so long since he got to touch Levi in the places he hid under baggy clothes; those were his favorite, because he knew Levi didn’t share them with anyone else.
Levi flinched.
Asher’s hand didn’t stop, he stroked the spot again, slower, dipping his thumb beneath the waistband..
“I need a shower,” Levi gasped, pushing away from the sink and away from him.
Asher frowned. “Okay.”
“I need —” Levi shook his head and walked toward the bathroom — fast, faster than he had rushed to the sink to throw up. The bathroom door closed and Asher felt his skin crawl as the lock clicked.
The fast-walking was interesting. Levi’s body knew how to move when it needed to despite the discomfort and weakness...
Asher stayed where he was, looking at the hand that had touched Levi’s bare skin, feeling the warmth fade.
Why did he flinch?
He’d been good. He’d been patient. He held Levi all night and didn’t do anything pushy.
Even when his cock had been against Levi’s back for hours, stiff and aching, he could have rolled Levi over and reminded him how great they were together.
He hadn’t. He’d been so good, because Levi seemed a little surprised last night and he knew Levi always needed a little time to adjust.
But he flinched AGAIN, after I made him breakfast…
He thought about the forest.
The first time. Levi running through trees with that face — terrified, thinking, alive.
Asher couldn’t remember the moment when he forgot who he was in there, he barely remembered deciding to test the game, but he remembered Levi pinned against the tree, looking up at a stranger, every muscle deciding whether to fight or freeze.
That look was the look that reorganized his whole life in there and made him want more than the fun, and Levi had done it with one expression in a fake forest. And then every time Asher went looking for him, Levi kept giving him that look, across all the resets: the fear, the strategy, the eventual lean-in.
That was how Levi loved him. Asher just had to tear down the walls that held Levi back, and he did it brick by brick.
Oh...I see now.
He could do it again. No…he was going to get to do it again. Asher had lost who he was in the game, and Levi made him remember. Now their situations were just reversed, and Levi was the lost one. Asher could make Levi remember.
He was going to woo Levi all over again.
Asher looked down at his hand again, at the blood still under his nails, and nodded. He needed a shower too, and Levi already had the water going, plus he was pretty sure people found showers with their partners romantic. He could start tearing down the barriers between them right now.
Asher was so giddy he started removing his clothes right there at the kitchen sink.
He paused briefly to hunt down the loose roll of cling wrap he used to put away last night’s leftovers and wrap it around the dressing on his thigh.
It really did hurt when he let himself think about it, but it didn’t bother him in this moment. How could it?
He was about to go take his very first shower with his boyfriend.
Levi had locked the door, but it was a thumb-button lock, the cheap rental kind that popped if a thin object went into the pinhole on the outside, but Asher was ready for that.
Levi’s discharge paperwork was still on the kitchen counter, so Asher just used the paperclip and made quick work of the lock.
The door opened and the steam rolled out. Asher could see the shape of him through the steamed glass, head down, hands on the tile wall, water running over his back. As soon as Asher shut the door behind him, he saw Levi’s head snap up.
“Asher?” Levi’s voice sounded small and scared. Asher had to place a hand over his cock, trying to convince it not to respond yet, because he was pretty sure if he stepped into the shower hard enough to pound nails into concrete, Levi would panic. He always panicked.
It was so cute.
“Hi, baby.”
“I–I locked the door,” Levi stammered.
“I know you did,” Asher said, pressing a hand to the wall for support as his thigh decided to throb at the worst moment.
“Then get out.”
He couldn’t help the smile. It was the wrong response and he knew it, but his face did it anyway.
Levi was talking to him like he used to, in his actual voice, sharp and full and his — and Asher couldn’t stop grinning.
He had always been praised for his youthful appearance, but being around Levi was definitely going to give him some wrinkles.
“Baby,” Asher purred, stepping up to the sliding glass door. “I just want to shower with you. It’s romantic.”
“Don’t baby me. Get out of the bathroom,“ Levi snapped.
“I’m not going to.”
Asher slid open the glass and felt his heart stop beating at the sight of him. There was something utterly devastating about seeing Levi dripping with water, hunched over as he tried to hide his body from Asher and surrounded by steam. “Please? I’m already naked, we can save on water or something.”
“Asher, no. I’m saying no —” Levi’s eyes drifted down to where Asher was holding his hand over himself, then snapped to the wall in front of him as his cheeks turned bright red.
Caught you.
Levi tried to slide the door closed; Asher caught the edge and pushed it open all the way. Levi tried to step backward, as if to put more water between them and his foot slipped. Asher’s hand was on his bicep before his hip hit the tub edge.
He knew it was too hard, that his fingers were going to leave marks, but Asher didn’t loosen his grip. He held Levi up. The force was the force the falling required. No more, no less.
Levi held still, looking at the floor of the tub.
“Look at me,” Asher said, tightening his grip until Levi gasped. He was getting really fucking sick of Levi not looking at him. He stepped over the lip of the tub as Levi looked up.
Still beautiful.
The water hit his head and shoulders, running down his chest with a rusty tinge where it found the blood still in his hair. He let go of Levi’s bicep slowly, watching his feet to make sure he wouldn’t slip again.
Levi leaned on the wall, his arm across his chest again, his hand between his legs as water dripped from his hair into his eyes. “Asher, please…please let me shower alone.”
His voice had retreated. The get out was gone. The please had taken its place. Asher liked both versions.
“Shh.” Asher put his hands on Levi’s hips. “I’m just going to wash your hair. Turn around. You’re going to feel better when your hair’s clean.”
“That’s not —”
“Turn around, Levi.”
Levi didn’t move.
Asher waited. He could wait. He was getting really good at it.
After a long moment, Levi turned. Slowly. The arm across his chest stayed where it was. He faced the tile.
Asher smiled as he grabbed the shampoo and began to work it into Levi’s hair, taking his time. The gentleness was deliberate on his part; Levi’s body had not been touched properly in two weeks, and he knew Levi had been alone out here in the world. He doubted anyone had ever done this for Levi.
Though…Asher had never done this for anyone either.
This is a first for both of us.
He liked that. He liked it enormously. There were going to be more firsts. Every first was going to be his.
He moved his fingers in slow circles and pressed gentle pressure into the spot where Levi’s hairline met his neck. He scratched lightly at his crown. Levi’s shoulders dropped as Asher did it, swaying slightly, like he was getting lost in the feeling.
“Tilt your head back.”
Levi tilted his head back, his eyes closed, without protest. Asher cradled the base of his skull and rinsed the shampoo out under the spray. The water ran over Levi’s face and down his throat. For one moment, Asher considered being a gentleman about this whole showering together thing.
Then he leaned forward and kissed Levi’s neck.
Levi went rigid again.
“You’re okay,” Asher said as he pulled Levi back against him. His body pressed against Levi’s from shoulder to thigh, his cock hard against the small of Levi’s back, and the skin-on-skin contact made him feel alive. Even tactile sensations were better with Levi around. “You can feel me, can’t you?”
“Asher, this isn’t the time,” Levi said, grabbing at the arm over his chest.
“I haven’t touched you in so long, Levi. I haven’t even touched myself since I woke up,” Asher whispered, his breath hot against Levi’s ear, stirring the damp strands of hair. “I’ve been waiting to feel you like this.” God, just saying it makes me ache—hold it together, make this about him first.
“Asher—please—”