CHAPTER 17
SEBASTIAN
The first light of dawn teases at my eyelids, gently coaxing me awake. I’m wrapped in Remi’s warmth, our limbs tangled together in a delicious mess of arms, legs, and bare feet.
I’ve always been used to sleeping alone, preferred it, even. I never liked sharing a bed. But last night, with him, it didn’t just feel right, it felt necessary. Like something I’ve been missing without realising it.
With my nose tucked against his neck, his scent filling my lungs, and the slow, steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath my cheek, I slept more deeply than I have in years.
And now, for the first time in a long time, I feel rested. Renewed.
I’ll need every ounce of that strength today.
The thought of seeing my parents, of finally coming out to them, sends a cold twist through my stomach. But I know I can’t keep running from it. It’s time.
A familiar pressure is already pulsing between my legs. Remi’s body is so close it’s impossible to ignore. But I push the urge aside. I still need to pack. And missing the train isn’t an option.
I try to slip out of bed quietly, not wanting to wake him, but the moment I move, Remi stirs. His hands find my hips, pulling me back to him with a sleepy strength, and before I can protest, he captures my lips in a kiss I’m powerless to resist.
I melt into him like butter on warm toast. Against the solid heat of his chest, I feel safe. Wanted. And I’m not the only one hard and aching for more.
But as much as I want to stay wrapped up in him forever, I know I can’t.
“Don’t go, Seb…” he murmurs, his voice thick with sleep, the barest pout forming on his lips. “Someone here needs you.”
“Someone here needs you too…” I chuckle, kissing the tip of his nose and brushing a few strands of blond hair from his forehead.
God, he’s beautiful. Too beautiful to be real. But he’s here. Solid. Mine.
“Then why are you leaving, baby?” he whispers, his eyes soft and pleading, and it nearly undoes me.
“Because I have to,” I say gently, cupping his cheek, rough with sleep-stubble. “My train to Stratford won’t wait.”
He leans into my hand with a shiver, and just like that, my resolve falters, my body responding instantly.
“All right, Seb… I’ll wait for you,” he sighs dramatically, glancing down at his own arousal and groaning softly. “More or less…”
I chuckle as I peel myself out of bed and start gathering my things. I’m halfway across the room when his voice shifts, suddenly more serious.
“You never did tell me why you’re going to Stratford.”
“Well,” I say, raising an eyebrow, “someone very distracting kept getting in the way…”
He smirks. “Only a little?”
“Okay, fine. A lot.” I grin, bending down to grab my suitcase.
“No! Not that one!” he yelps, laughing.
I look up, mock-offended. “What’s wrong with my pink suitcase?”
“Nothing, nothing,” he says quickly, grinning. “I just haven’t forgotten how it nearly crushed us when you arrived. That thing’s huge!”
As I pack indignantly, I retort, “You’re the one who knocked us over the first day. I hadn’t even made it through the door before we hit the floor.”
“I was in a daze, okay? Because of you!”
“How do you mean?” I narrow my eyes.
He falters, then looks down, cheeks flushing. “You were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.”
At that, I launch myself onto his lap and start covering his face in kisses. “And here I thought it was the suitcase that traumatised you…” I whisper against his skin.
We kiss, and it doesn’t take long before things get heated again, too heated. Remi gives my bum a gentle smack.
“If you don’t get up now,” he murmurs against my ear, his voice thick with want, “I won’t be able to let you go.”
Then he slides his hand down, cupping me through the fabric, and all my good intentions nearly dissolve on the spot.
As Remi’s hand brushes over the fabric of my plain black boxers, he frowns. “Where did the lace panties go? Don’t tell me you only own one pair.”
I roll off his lap, grinning. “Actually, I’ve got several… if you must know.” I tug on a pair of black jeans and a simple T-shirt, then zip up my suitcase. “But my parents don’t know about me yet, and I’d really rather avoid any awkward laundry discoveries.”
He watches me from the bed, his expression unreadable.
I hesitate, then add, “That’s the main reason I’m going. Officially, it’s about career plans, but really… I want to tell them. I want to stop hiding. I want to live like a free man.”
Remi crosses the room in two strides and gently cups my face in his hands.
“I’m so proud of you, Sebastian,” he says, his voice full of warmth. “You’re the bravest person I know.”
He leans in, brushing his nose against mine. His voice softens, low and steady. “Coming out to your parents is a huge step… but don’t forget, it’s your choice. You don’t owe anyone anything until you’re ready.”
“I am ready,” I say, steady now. “I can’t hide anymore.”
“Okay, baby.” His voice is gentle but firm. “Just know I’m here for you. Call me, whatever happens. I’ll come.”
He pauses, his gaze locking with mine. “You know you can count on me, right?”
Emotion wells up in my chest, thick and sudden. It nearly chokes me. “I do, Remi. I trust you.”
“And I trust you, Seb.”
He pulls me into a hug, resting his forehead against mine. For a moment, we just breathe, wrapped in something tender and unspoken.
“Time to go, huh?” he whispers.
I nod, unable to get the words out.
I throw on a black hoodie, grab my suitcase, and head for the door.
“I’m coming with you,” he says, already moving.
“No, it’s fine. Paddington’s close, and you need sleep, you’ve got work tomorrow.”
But he just laughs, defiant. “I’m not letting you tackle the stairs with that… monstrosity.”
He eyes my fuchsia suitcase like it personally offended him.
“Hey! Don’t insult her; she’s a limited edition Lanvin, exclusive to France!”
He bursts out laughing, so hard he nearly trips pulling on his joggers and T-shirt.
I get a little too distracted watching him slip into his clothes, far too quickly for my taste. That body should come with a warning label.
“Where were we?” I tease. “Ah, right, you never offered to help me carry my things the day I moved in.”
“Low blow,” he groans, walking toward me with mock guilt painted all over his face.
“I admit it. I was a jerk that day.” He lifts my chin between his fingers, eyes soft. “But I was terrified. And the second I saw you, everything short-circuited. Do you forgive me?”
I try to scowl, but those puppy eyes are impossible to resist.
“Fine. But I’m plotting my revenge.”
“Can’t wait,” he grins. “Especially if it involves you in lace.”
“Maybe,” I reply, raising an eyebrow. “Though that sounds more like a reward.”
“Guess I’ll have to wait and find out.” He kisses me sweetly, and then grabs my suitcase. “Come on, we’ll miss your train.”
Like a true gentleman, he lugs my suitcase down the stairs and all the way to Paddington, barely breaking a sweat.
The morning is fresh and clear, the city soft and quiet in that brief window before the rush begins. We talk about nothing in particular, light, casual things, but there’s an unspoken awareness between us. The bigger conversations are waiting, just beyond the horizon of my return.
We stop at Costa for bagels and cappuccinos, pretending we’re just two ordinary people on an ordinary day.
But then I’m standing on the platform, wrapped in his arms, and nothing feels ordinary at all.
He kisses my temple, lips lingering there like he doesn’t want to let go. “It’s only a few days, Seb,” he whispers. “I’ll be here when you get back. We’ll figure everything out. Together.”
I nod, unable to speak. My chest is tight with emotion. His quiet certainty is doing something I never thought possible, breaking down walls I’ve spent a lifetime building.
Maybe he’s right. Maybe there really is a future for us.
Someone who sees me, all of me, and still wants to stay.
Someone I trust. Someone I could love.
Maybe, just maybe… we’ll make it.