CHAPTER 18
SEBASTIAN
As the train speeds through the lush English countryside, I try to settle into my seat, leaning back into the soft headrest and letting my thoughts spiral. Everything that happened with Remi still feels surreal, especially now, in the clarity of daylight.
My brain won’t stop replaying last night in an endless loop, our bodies tangled together, his breath ghosting across my skin, the way he whispered my name like it actually meant something.
It’s so vivid I feel flushed just thinking about it. Honestly, if I didn’t know better, I’d swear someone spiked my drink.
But no drug could make me feel this alive.
And the thing that keeps knocking the air out of my lungs?
It was Remi who made the first move.
Mister buttoned-up, emotionally unavailable, broody-as-hell Remi.
And not just a shy attempt either, he took control like he’d been waiting his whole life to touch me. Like he meant it.
Just the memory makes me shiver.
Who knew that my serious, grumbly professor could be that confident?
That hot?
It’s honestly kind of criminal.
I chuckle quietly to myself. Yeah, the sex was incredible, okay, life-altering, but this isn’t just about that.
There’s something deeper pulling me toward him. Something intense. Magnetic. Terrifying and beautiful all at once.
But before I can get too comfortable basking in the afterglow, reality comes knocking.
I haven’t touched my phone since the concert. Everything spiralled so quickly, I needed to shut the world out for a while.
Now, of course, I’m paying the price: a mountain of notifications.
Dozens of messages from friends, family, and, unsurprisingly, May. Forty messages. Most of them are voice notes.
Fantastic.
I sigh, pop in my AirPods, and brace myself as I hit play.
Just as I feared, she’s ranting about her ruined dress (thanks, Anne), freaking out over my Houdini act, and then, just to spice things up, squealing about how amazing the concert was.
She’s either tipsy, euphoric, or both. Most likely both.
Each voice note is more dramatic than the last. I can’t help but smile. My friends really pulled off the great escape, flawlessly.
Didn’t even need to be asked. They just knew.
Anne, with her wicked little genius brain.
And Remi… who probably orchestrated the whole thing while pretending he had nothing to do with it. Classic.
The rest of the gang messaged too, mostly thank-you, sweet words, the occasional “how did the night end?” Yeah… not replying to those. Just thinking about it makes me blush.
Honestly, I was convinced Remi had been avoiding me. I thought he was getting tired of me. And I worried May would drop me the second I insisted on playing Scriabin.
Turns out I was wrong on both counts.
Very wrong.
Remi’s just as hooked on me as I am on him.
And May? She’s going to have to lower her commission like we agreed, whether she likes it or not.
I grin to myself, picturing how I’ll tell my parents.
Maybe the concert’s success will help the rest of what I have to say go down a little easier.
I’m not na?ve, it won’t be smooth sailing. But I don’t think they’re homophobic.
They might even suspect already. It’s been three years since Maddie, and I haven’t mentioned a single girl since.
Speaking of suspicion… there’s a message from Ian.
He’s apologizing for missing the concert and casually inviting me out for a drink.
Just the two of us.
My first reaction isn’t about Ian at all, it’s about Remi.
The way he acted around him: short, clipped answers, barely a glance. Totally out of character.
Holy crap. He was jealous.
The realization hits, and I can’t help grinning like an idiot.
Remi being possessive? Yes, please.
I know it’s probably not the healthiest reaction, but something about it is wildly hot.
I’m not proud. Just honest.
For a split second, I’m actually tempted to say yes to Ian.
Just to see how Remi would react.
Almost.
But let’s be real, I’m no better.
I’d absolutely lose it if someone so much as looked at Remi the wrong way.
Ian can wait.
Right now, I tap May’s name and hit call.
She picks up on the first ring, like she’s been lying in wait.
“Sebastian Arnette?!” she screeches. “So you do remember how to use a phone! Where the hell did you vanish to last night?!”
Yep. She’s furious.
I barely manage a breath before she barrels on, full steam ahead.
“I called you for hours. Everyone was looking for you, and poof! You disappeared into thin air. Don’t think I didn’t clock your little gang helping you sneak out. Especially that tall blond one, gorgeous, but looked at me like he wanted to set me on fire.”
That’s it.
“You don’t get to talk about Remi like that.”
Dead silence.
I exhale and force myself to rein it in.
“Sorry for disappearing,” I say, my tone softer now. “I wasn’t feeling well. Migraine.”
“Mmm-hmm. That party was work, Seb. Networking, PR, the boring stuff that pays the bills. You know who was there? Two of the Queen’s cousins!”
Of course.
“May, I said I wasn’t well. Can you stop yelling for, like… one second?”
She huffs, then exhales sharply.
“Fine. You’re right. But you scared the crap out of me, I almost called your parents.”
“What?! Please tell me you didn’t.”
“I didn’t, relax. Your friend, Annie? She said you left with the blond one…”
“Her name is Anne. And he’s called Remi.”
“Okay, okay. Anne. Remi. She didn’t say much, but after seeing that little snack… well, I assumed you ditched me for a romantic rendezvous.”
God.
“Remi. His name is Remi.”
This is getting ridiculous. And while she’s not exactly wrong…
I’m not about to hand her ammunition.
“Anyway, sorry for ghosting you. I promise it won’t happen again.
Can we talk about the concert now?”
She sighs. “Fine. You were right. Scriabin worked. It was bold, personal, and everyone saw it. The reviews are glowing.”
“Wait, really?”
“Everywhere. And since I’m not a complete monster, I’m dropping my percentage like we agreed. I was wrong. I’ll admit it.”
I blink, surprised. “Wow. Thanks, May. That actually means a lot.”
“And Seb?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re not that kid I signed all those years ago. I see that now. I’ll try harder to listen.”
I smile, despite myself. “Then let’s be fair, start the new rate next month instead.”
She pauses. I can practically hear her scribbling figures in her head.
Just as I’m about to hang up,
“Wait… are you on a train?”
“Yeah. Heading to Stratford.”
“Going home? Good. I told your parents about the concert, they’re over the moon.”
Of course she did.
Then, more carefully, “You’re not going there to... you know. Come out, are you?”
“Actually, yeah. That’s part of it.”
“Seb…”
“We’ve been through this, May. I’m done hiding.”
She goes quiet.
“You’re right,” she says at last. “It’s your life. And… I guess you’ve grown up.”
She sounds almost surprised by her own words.
“This new version of you is kind of terrifying. But if it means more performances like last night’s? Worth it.”
I laugh, already picturing the smirk on her face.
“We haven’t talked about what’s next.”
“Right. Next week’s the charity concert with the Philharmonic. Then you’re playing in a recital with that famous dancer…”
“Christian Lobach,” I supply.
“Yeah, him. We’ll go over the details later. For now, enjoy the high. Rest up. And…”
“And?”
“Nothing. Good luck, Seb.”
Click.
As the train starts to slow, I glance out the window at the blur of green rushing past.
But my thoughts are already elsewhere.
I scroll through my notifications. Even more messages now, no doubt boosted by the reviews.
Then I spot it.
A new voice note.
From Maddie.
My stomach tightens. I hesitate, thumb hovering over the screen, then press play.
Her voice comes through, steady and calm, but there’s something underneath. A quiet tension. A sharpened clarity I didn’t expect. And suddenly, I have no idea what I’m about to hear.
MADDIE (Voice Note):
Hey, gorgeous! How are you? I heard your concert was amazing! I wish I could’ve been there… I miss hearing you play. But I’m so proud of you, Seb.
Also… I wanted to say sorry for the other day.
I totally dumped all my problems on you and even asked you to get involved between me and Remi, which I had no right to do.
I know you’ve become friends with him, though how you managed that, I’ll never know, considering how prickly he is, but I get it now. It wasn’t fair to drag you into it.
I won’t lie, I’m still reeling and angry… but you know me, I’m not giving up. Now that I’ve calmed down, I’ve started planning how to win him back. I’m sure Remi just had a moment of weakness because of the distance. I can fix this.
But enough about me. How’s everything over there? How’s the conservatory? When’s your next performance? Did you find a room yet? And no pressure, you’re always welcome to stay with me, as long as you need.
Okay, okay, I’ll stop now. This message is already five minutes long. Love you, Seb. Can’t wait to see you again.
The message cuts off.
And while there’s some relief in hearing her sound more like herself again, brighter, more composed, it only makes the knot in my stomach tighten.
Oh, Maddie… What are you going to do when you realize things with Remi really are over?
She still thinks this is just a phase. That the distance made him waver. That she can win him back with enough charm, enough effort. But she doesn’t know what happened.
Not really.
Everything in me is screaming that what Remi and I shared wasn’t some impulsive mistake. It was real. Undeniably, terrifyingly real.
He let me in, completely. He showed me the most vulnerable, tender parts of himself. And maybe, just maybe, for the first time… he saw himself in a new light too. Saw what he could want. What he could be if he stopped running from it.
I saw it in his eyes. Felt it in the way he touched me, like he couldn’t quite believe I was real. And I knew, without a shred of doubt, that everything he couldn’t say out loud… he told me with his body. And I heard every word. Loud. Clear. Unforgettable.