CHAPTER 21
REMI
After getting back from brunch with Francis, I try to focus, catch up on overdue work, edit a few dissertations, and tick something off the endless list. But after an hour of staring blankly at the screen and rearranging the same sentences over and over, I give up with a sigh and slide my laptop back into its case.
Concentration is out of reach today. Completely.
And it doesn’t make sense. The meeting with Fran couldn’t have gone better,. He was supportive, encouraging, and everything I’d hoped for. Still, there’s this strange, persistent unease gnawing at the edge of my thoughts. Not quite anxiety. Not quite dread. Just… something.
Of course, there’s the usual mess with Maddie in the background, but this feels different. Deeper. Unfamiliar.
Normally, I have a handle on myself. I stay composed. I don’t let emotion cloud the picture.
But lately… something’s changed.
I’ve changed.
Since Sebastian came into my life, it’s like his openness, his unfiltered honesty, cracked something open in me. And through that crack, emotion has seeped in. Quiet at first. Then steady. Unstoppable. Impossible to contain or ignore.
It’s disorienting. Overwhelming.
And I don’t know what to do with it.
He’s only been gone a day, and already I ache for him.
I miss his presence, his scent, the quiet weight of his gaze, the way his eyes seem to see right through me without asking permission.
I want to touch him. Kiss him. Breathe him in. Hold him so close he still feels the imprint of my hands long after I’ve let go.
The need is raw. Physical. It steals the breath from my lungs.
I know I need to stay calm. Stay grounded. I can’t afford to spiral. But more than ever, I’m certain of one thing: Sebastian belongs here. With me.
If he goes back to Paris, or worse, if he decides that this is all too much, too tangled, I don’t know how I’d cope. Not really.
Something in me would fracture, and I’m not sure it could be put back together.
It probably sounds irrational. Too fast. Too intense. But I know it in my bones, in the deepest part of me that no one else touches: Sebastian Arnette is the only person who’s ever made me feel whole.
Abandoning any hope of getting work done, I sink into the sofa and switch on the TV, scrolling aimlessly through Netflix in search of something, anything, to distract me.
It’s going to be a long night.
Because until I hear from him, I won’t be able to settle. Not truly.