Chapter 29
SOREN
I sunk my toes into the white sand of the beach, soaking up every bit of clear blue water that my eyes could handle. Coming to Bora Bora had been a split second, impulsive decision, but one I couldn’t bring myself to regret.
As soon as the money hit my account as promised by Finn, I decided that I wanted to take myself on a nice little vacation before I went back to reality, having chosen to settle down in Colorado.
I wanted to be surrounded by mountains and trees, and my cute little cottage was already waiting for me when I got back.
But for now, I couldn’t get enough of the sun on my skin and the sand between my toes. I only had a couple days left; the week having flown by faster than I could handle.
I’d gotten a job at a quaint art studio in town not far from my cottage, about a ten-minute drive, and a second job bartending on the evenings and weekends. It seemed so normal that I relished in it. I hadn’t ever had a taste of normal, so I was going to jump in the deep end.
I’d never had to worry about money before or tending to things myself. I’d always had someone to guide me, or control me, or do things for me. Now I was truly on my own. It felt like I’d jumped without a parachute.
But a majority of the time, it felt like I had finally learned how to spread my wings and fly. I’d pushed back against the wind that tried to pull me down, sending me back to the hole I’d crawled so hard to get out of.
Nothing would take me back to that place again. I wouldn’t let it.
I had goals and dreams swimming in my head that I refused to let die again.
I wanted to save up and open a huge exhibit in Colorado and showcase local art.
I hadn’t wanted to take more money from my marriage with Jude and from Lilah’s death than I could swallow, wanting to cut my ties with them entirely.
The two million dollars from Finn was just enough to not make me want to hurl every time I thought of it.
It was always destined to be my money, even though they thought to take it for themselves, so it dulled the thought inside me.
It allowed me this time in paradise, a fresh start, a safety net, and the possibility to fuel my once dead dreams.
Laying in the sun, running a hand through my newly chopped hair, my mind couldn’t help but flash to Kade because he helped the girl with dead dreams who’d been growing soulless by the day get out of that hole she’d been in so long.
I’d been screaming at the top of my lungs and clawing to get out, and he reached his hand out to grab mine and pull me out.
It may not have been his intention at first, since he pulled me out for his own gain, but he ended up saving me, while taking my heart at the same time.
Never in a million years did I expect myself to actually fall in love with a Mafia man. Well, that’s not true. I’d hoped to fall in love with my husband, but he ruined that as soon as we said our vows.
I tried to have hope that something good could come out of the arranged marriage, and like some silver lining could come out of the bullshit. But no, I couldn’t be that fortunate. Instead I fell in love with the man who was supposed to be the secondary villain in my life.
I had no intention of ever leaving Kade, or turning my back on the one bit of love I ever truly felt.
But asking him to walk away from his family was something I couldn’t bring myself to do.
Not to mention he was acting so cold towards me when we got to his mother’s house for that meeting.
It hurt less to walk away then, rather than have rejection staring me in the face later.
At least walking away gave me control over the situation.
I was the one who decided to cause myself pain for once, instead of someone else.
I tried to pull myself back out of that headspace, trying to keep with the good vibes. But fuck, I missed Kade. I missed the way his skin felt against mine, and the way he smelled, and the way I could make him smile, and the way he felt inside me.
I had an ache that I wondered if it would ever be filled. Nothing could replace that storm of a man who had blown into my life and swept me entirely off my feet.
I couldn’t help but feel pissed off at this man for wiggling into my mind while I was trying to relax and enjoy my little sliver of peace.
I closed my eyes and relaxed my mind, trying to clear it of all the negativity that strived to drag me down.
“Hello, princess,” a very familiar, deep voice came from behind me, belonging to the grouchy man who had just filtered into my mind.
How the fuck?
My eyes flew open, and I sat up and turned slowly, sure that I had just imagined his voice behind me.
Because there’s no way on the face of the planet that he was here right now.
I had done everything in my power to fly under the radar and avoid him finding me, but it wasn't like I had expected him to show up anyway.
My eyes connected with a familiar pair of silver eyes, and I searched them, feeling like the air was zapped from my lungs. He looked absolutely delicious standing before me shirtless, and in a pair of swim trunks. He looked the most relaxed I'd ever seen him, and so incredibly out of his element.
Apparently, the lack of oxygen I was experiencing by seeing him made my brain slow to process the question of how he found me.
“Vanessa,” I grumbled, flopping back on my lounge chair. That little minx had spilled the beans on my location. I hated her but loved her at the same time, because while I felt dread at his presence, I also felt relieved to have him back at my side.
But I knew these feelings of happiness and relief were temporary. I’d walked away from that life, and I knew he didn’t have that capability.
“Glad to see you too,” he laughed, plopping down in the lounge chair next to me.
“What are you doing here, Kade?” I asked, avoiding the way his laugh made me feel.
“I came for you, love,” he said gently, and I felt like I was in a fever dream at the complete one eighty his personality had taken. I also felt like I was in that episode of Grey’s Anatomy where Izzy was sitting with her dead fiancé on a beach, after he said he had come for her.
She ended up being diagnosed with cancer. Was this the universe’s way of telling me I was dying?
The lack of oxygen was definitely getting to me now. I surprised both of us by laughing out loud, and I covered my mouth to try to stifle it.
His eyes turned to slits as he glared at me.
There’s the man I know and love.
“What’s so funny, princess?” He asked, his glare still going strong.
“I’d try to explain it to you, but it wouldn’t make sense,” I explained as my breathing slowed. “What do you mean that you came here for me?”
“I mean that I came here for you. I’ve come to take you home with me, where you belong.”
“Bold of you to assume I belong to you,” I scoffed.
“You do. There’s no question about it Soren.
I love you, with everything I have. You were made for me.
Your mind, body, and soul speaks to me. We’re forever intertwined.
I don’t think I’d ever be able to get you out of my system.
You are forever ingrained in my being, and I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you. ”
I sat speechless because what do you say to that? What was I supposed to do? How does one process that love declaration?
I turned his words over in my mind, and I knew he meant every word he said. He was a man who felt things deeply and intensely.
But I couldn’t jump for joy and crawl into his arms yet. I had to remember why I’d walked away in the first place.
“Kade, you have no idea what that means to me, but I have to keep in mind that I walked away for myself. I walked away to escape the life that had kept me prisoner for so long. That life is all you know. It’s your family, and I can’t ask or expect you to walk away from your family.
No matter how much my heart beats for you. ”
The smirk that graced his features was full of mischief, and I couldn’t understand or tell what was going on in his mind.
“What’s so funny, Ace?” I asked, throwing his question and his glare right back at him.
“It’s funny that you think I wouldn’t give up anything and everything for you.
I would burn the world down if you asked me to.
I’d swim across the ocean if you needed me to.
Which is why I’ve left the family business.
My mother was actually the one who pulled me out of my emotional stupor,” he said with a laugh.
“But what about your family?” I asked, still not quite convinced.
“What kind of family would we be if we didn’t think about each other’s happiness and put it before all else?” He answered with a smile, and my heart cracked.
“I don’t know if I can put myself through heartache again, Kade. Your family is your life, and the Mafia is all you’ve ever known. How am I supposed to believe you’re willing to just give it all away for a girl you just met?”
“You’re not just some girl to me, Soren.
You are everything I have been spending my entire life looking for without even realizing it.
In the time that I’ve known you, you’ve healed what used to be broken inside of me.
You’ve shown and proven to me that there’s more out there for me than blood and money, which I’ve been wanting to escape for years.
If you didn’t come along, with your smart ass comments, your love for books and coffee who would I be?
You’ve proven there’s still good in this world when I’ve been surrounded by bad for so long. ”