13. Chapter 13
Chapter 13
Matías Moreno
T hese past couple of days with my friends in Alamo Peaks have been like a balm to my bruised soul. It’s been hard seeing them find their forever partners while I simply let the world go by without finding mine. That’s because you found her and screwed it up. My shoulders sag as the little voice in my head whispers the harsh truth. “Hey boludo , what are you thinking about so hard over there?” Marco asks, sitting next to me on the guest house patio with a huge cup of coffee in hand. The view is unbeatable; we are on top of a hill over roads upon roads of vines that are starting to sprout. The weather is perfect, as it’s not too warm yet, and the humidity is low.
“Just about how this weekend has been so good for a lot of reasons. The three of you have moved on and have families of your own, whereas I’m still alone. It’s just good to hang out with you all like this again.”
Marco takes a sip of his coffee as he ponders my words.
“I know I was the first one to find my girl, but if you remember it wasn’t easy. Even going to Colombia to practically beg Dani not to dump me didn’t work. I’m thankful she saw the light and came back to me but dude, once she came back, it became a choice for us to make every day. To work on our relationship and be the person each other could lean on, every single day.” I nod at him because I remember when Dani got scared and broke up with Marco. He was so depressed; I thought he was never going to recover.
“I get it man, but what are you trying to get at? I haven’t been able to find a girl I can see forever with.” The lie rolls off my tongue so easily that if I didn’t know the truth, I would totally believe it. Marco looks at me with judging eyes, and I chuckle.
“What?” I ask as Franco joins us on the patio.
“What Marco is saying is that we know how much you liked Cattleya years back, and to this day we have no clue what happened. Why did you just stop talking to her?”
I’m about to bare my soul to my brothers, the guys who know me best when Luca shows up sipping his mate .
“ Pará, pará, pará (stop, stop, stop). How the fuck dare you spill the beans on the story of our last man standing without all of us in attendance?” I chuckle at Luca’s antics as I go for a sip of mate myself. Ines, the lady who helps Luca and Karina with the house, shows up with a tray full of media lunas , croissants, and fruit .
“A little something to tide you boys over until you come to the main house for some food.” She smiles at us as Luca stands up to help her with the tray. He hugs her as we all thank her. That lady is an angel; she has fed us this weekend with so many delicious foods. I kind of don't want to leave.
“Okay, where were we?” Luca asks with a mouthful of media lunas . I clear my throat as I feel all eyes on me.
“I was about to tell you what an idiot I was for not pursuing something with Cattleya all those years ago. And what an asshole I am now for feeling jealous about you all having amazing women by your side while I’m still all alone.” They’re all looking at me, waiting for me to elaborate, but when I see Franco’s eyebrows rising to the sky, I freeze.
“I think I speak for all of us when I say that we love you and want what’s best for you, but I’m going to refrain from speaking much since Cata is my sister-in-law. She’s an amazing woman, and I know for a fact that you hurt her back then.”
I close my eyes and feel pain growing in my chest. She’ll never forgive me. I can already feel my brain spiraling down and drawing in guilt and remorse.
“I don’t want to make you feel bad, I’m just sharing what I know. I also know she hasn’t had any boyfriends, although has gone out on dates. I’m not sure if this is related to you, or if she just doesn’t want to date. These days, she’s been one hundred percent focused on her game and adapting in Buenos Aires.”
“Speaking of, she’s such a badass player. She seems sweet and kind, and I’m sure she is, but once she’s on the pitch, she transforms. She’s fierce,” Marco says, and I chuckle .
“Yeah, she’s a badass. Did you guys see the nickname the press gave her?” They all shake their heads, so I tell them, proudly. “The Amazonian Warrior.”
They chuckle, and Franco is the first to speak. “Damn, that’s the perfect nickname for Cata. She truly is a warrior on the pitch.”
When the silence starts becoming uncomfortable, Luca speaks up. “So what do you want to do? Do you want to reach out to Cata? Or do you want to give it a try with the girl you’ve been chatting with?”
Marco and Franco turn their heads toward me. “A girl? What did we miss?”
I raise my eyebrows. “A lot.”
I go make a food plate and hear Luca behind me. “Oh, yes. Take your fucking time, why don’t you. It’s like we’re hanging by a thread waiting for the novela to keep going.” We all explode in laughter. Leave it to Luca to lighten the mood.
“Seriously man, hurry up. I only have half an hour before I have to go help with Enzo’s bath.” Yesterday Enzo took a nap on Tío Matías’ lap. He's so tiny and so damn adorable. I couldn’t help but wonder what my kid would look like if I ever became a dad.
“Okay, here’s the thing. I’ve been seeing a therapist for the past few months. Truth is, I’ve dealt with social anxiety since I was a kid, and I let it rule my life all this time. When we were at Playa Blanca for your wedding,” I say pointing at Marco, “I spent the last few nights there chatting until sunrise with Cattleya. She’s the only mina in this fucking life with who I felt comfortable enough to do just that. The reason I didn’t pursue her is because the night Sofi got kidnapped, I was with Cattleya.” I close my eyes because I know Franco is going to hate me for this, but it’s been a long time, and I need to let this out. “I was having the best sex of my life while her sister was in danger. And the guilt I felt once we came back and learned what happened ate at me, and I just couldn’t face her.” The words are not completely out of my mouth when Franco lunges at me and grabs me by the neck of my shirt, pulling me up by my collar. My face is red, and my blood is boiling, but I need to let him say his piece.
“You fucked Cata? And then left? No wonder why she was so broken after that. Did you know you were her first time? I get it you have your issues man. We all do. But what you did is disgusting, and if we weren’t friends, your face would be unrecognizable. All I want to do right now is to punch you until you cry for forgiveness.” Franco’s voice breaks at the end, and even though he was yelling in my face, I know he definitely wanted to do more than that. He’s furious. I know I fucked it up, and I deserve this and more. I’m expecting Franco to land the first blow when Luca and Marco grab Franco and pull him away from me. He lets me go after one final pull of my shirt. I sag in the chair and cover my face with my hands, trying to control my breathing.
“I did know she was a virgin. As I said, we chatted long hours before we became intimate. She’s pure and innocent, and her spark of life is what attracted me to her. I truly feel like an asshole. I know I took that from her and made her feel like it didn’t mean anything to me. But it meant everything. The connection I shared with her, I’ve never shared with anyone else. She’s special, she’s everything,” I say as tears run down my cheeks, and I simply let them.
“And what’s this about a girl you’ve been chatting with?” Marco asks, tone even.
“I downloaded an app and matched with a girl. We’ve been chatting for about a month now, she messaged me asking if I wanted to meet up. I haven’t answered, and to be honest, before telling you guys about Cattleya, I was very excited. It’s been easy to chat with Milena. and I felt it was time for me to move on. But now I’m not sure.” I look at them, trying to read their reactions, but the only one I can read is Franco’s murderous glare.
“Well man, if it was me I would leave Cata alone. Yes, you fucked it up, but that was four years ago. If at some point you see her, I’d apologize, but I’d try to move on. Truth is, you don’t know her. She’s twenty-two now and a professional soccer player. She might be different from the girl you chatted with back at the beach, and if you’re feeling good about this girl Milena, I’d say go out and meet her. If it doesn’t work out, it’s fine. You can match with someone else,” Luca says as Marco nods his head.
“Yeah, man. I agree with Luca. See where things go with this girl, and the next time you see Cata, apologize.”
I’m not expecting to hear from Franco, but he surprises us all when he speaks.
“I know Cata is not my responsibility, but she’s my little sister, and I care about her. I know you didn’t take advantage of her, I get that. She was an adult when all this went down, But man, I wish things has turned out differently.” Franco pauses, and I look him in the eyes.
“I know I fucked it up. I know whatever I say now is of little to no significance because I let too much time pass, but I also know I’m a good guy. I might have a fucked up mind, but my intentions were never to hurt her. I will definitely apologize whenever I see her again.” The words I don’t say are hanging by a thread of thin air. I’m not apologizing to Franco. It’s not his place.
“Fair enough.” That’s all Franco says as he gets up from his chair and heads down the hill. “I’m gonna go for a walk. Catch you all later. ”
Marco leaves after Franco too, but gives me a nod before disappearing among the vines.
“I’m proud of you for owning your shortcomings, bro. Now message this girl Milena and move on,” Luca says.