Chapter 19
Although I couldn’t seeher face, I could feel the hurt coming off of her in waves. There was no other way to tell her that her world was about to come crumbling down and that I wasn’t able to keep my promise.
I felt like a knife had stabbed my heart as I broke that promise to her that I’d made with such conviction. But what could I do in three days’ time? My mind was blank on ways and ideas to save her, lest I put a bullet through Jude’s head myself, which I would be lying if I said wasn’t immensely tempting.
Even if I sent her far away with a bucket of money to an unknown location, I knew that the Mafia would find her.
It’s what they were good at.
Nobody ever escaped them and got away with it. Nobody ever lived to tell the tale.
And I wanted Soren to continue to have a tale to tell.
To grow. To keep living. To hopefully write herself a better ending.
But right now, I felt like a fucking failure, and like I was basically sealing her fate for her. I wanted to give up and cuddle into a ball like a child would, except with a bottle of bourbon and drink all of my worries away.
What the fuck am I doing?
My brain may not have caught up to my heart yet, but I cared about this woman. I had to uphold my promise to her that I’d at least try to get her out of this situation. And I had three days of time to do it.
What kind of man was I if I didn’t take the remaining time that I had left and at least try?
So I took my balls out of my ass and decided to put all my wallowing and negativity back where it belonged, and I refused to let it show its face again.
The house was tooquiet for my liking that night after promising myself that I would try to find a way to save her. Like I was a damn superhero or something. All I was in this world was my dad’s servant boy.
Anger boiled inside of me as I sat here with a drink in my hand, stewing on what I was going to do, trying to think of some loophole.
Pissed at myself for getting in this situation at all. Pissed for caring. Pissed at Soren for making me feel this way about her.
So what did my slightly drunk-again, sorry-ass decide to do? I decided to go up to her bedroom out of guilt.
My bare feet against the stairs were the only sound in the house. It was like the sadness Soren was feeling spread throughout the entire thing, throwing the entire vibe and mood of the house away.
What I was planning to do once I got up these stairs I had no idea, and I had not a single plan in my head for any aspect of my life. I couldn’t make a decision on anything. It was just simple chaos and dumpster fires raging in my brain.
I was hoping the booze would help maybe loosen my nerves, but it just made everything worse. It made me not worth a damn to anyone. And I knew it was going to bite me in the ass later, considering my father had called me and texted me himself numerous times and I’d ignored them all. He never took the time to communicate with me himself, so the fact that he skipped my brother’s and spoke to me directly was a big deal.
“Soren,” I slurred, knocking on her door, realizing maybe I was way past buzzed. The line between right and wrong were blurred, and part of me craved her skin against mine, sexual or not. I’d take it either way. Another part of me hoped I could have her body writhing under me in pleasure, taking my frustrations out on her body. But she deserved better than that and I knew it, alcohol running through my blood or not.
I was met with silence, but that didn’t stop me from knocking on the door again. I hadn’t even bothered to look at the time or consider that she may be sleeping.
“What?” She grumbled, throwing open the door before I could even react.
Fuck.
She took my breath away as she stood there in a silk nightgown, like she was just asking for me to want her. And I wouldn’t lie and say it wasn’t working, my dick already hardening in my pants.
“We need to talk,” I said, immediately feeling sober at the sight of her and the state she was in: puffy, red eyes, blonde hair flowing beautifully down to her hips. I took in her green eyes and noted they looked glazed, like she had just stopped crying and was already about to start again.
It broke something inside of me to see her hurting so bad. I didn’t want her to hurt. I wanted her to feel happy. I wanted her to be happy.
So that’s why I found myself crashing my lips against her, wanting to drink her in, hoping I could tell her everything in my angry, frustrated, wanting kiss.
She melted against me, bringing her body closer to mine, her arms that were slacked at her side now encircled my face as she began running her fingers through my hair. I swallowed her whimper, running my tongue along her bottom lip, wanting to never forget what she sounded like, and tasted like, and never wanting to forget how she felt against me.
I took my sweet time with this kiss, the heat eventually cooling down and our kisses slowing. We were both memorizing every piece of each other’s lips, me feeling her curves and committing them to memory.
I forced myself to break away, still having things to say, and knowing I needed to say them now before I lost the courage and didn’t get the chance.
“Soren,” I whispered, scared to put everything on the table, and afraid to show her the vulnerable side of me. The side of me that was angry, and fucking terrified when it came to her.
“If this is your way of saying goodbye, please don’t,” Soren pleaded in a whispered tone. “I don’t think my heart can take anything else.”
I swear in that moment you could have heard my heart crack. But you also could have heard my blood pound and my anger boil over. Because what was I doing? Why was I letting her go? Why wasn’t I protecting what was mine?
“Soren, I don’t want to say goodbye,” I replied, meaning it with every fiber of my being. “But you deserve a life better than I can offer you.”
“You’re forgetting that you deserve a life that you want, Kade. Even if it’s not with me. You don’t realize I’ve learned you like the back of my hand since the moment I first saw you. I know how miserable you are, and the only person that can change that is you.”
I was cupping her face, stunned by her words, because the only thing she was talking about right now was the truth. The cold, hard truth in tough love form, and I could feel the love radiating off this woman. The stupid love I didn’t deserve.
“That’s the thing Soren, I want you in it, but I’m so fucking scared I can’t give you what you want,” I replied.
“You idiot,” she scoffed. “I want you. I want every bit of you. Your heart, mind, and soul. Even though you don’t think you have a heart. Even though you think you’re so broken you’re incapable of love. I want the good, bad, and the ugly. Because even if you aren’t ready to admit it yet, I know you want it too. I’ve never cared about the money, or who your family is. You could have a penny to your name and the clothes on your back and I’d still want you.”
I stood there, almost paralyzed in shock. Because I don’t think anyone has ever truly wanted me for who I am, and not my money. Not my body. Not my dick.
And here is this woman, wanting me for who I am, and who I truly was beneath every layer and fiber of my being.
“You’re not going back to that husband of yours, Soren,” I said through gritted teeth. “I know I’ve made a lot of empty promises to you, but I want to keep this one. If I keep my word on anything to you, this is it. You deserve the freedom to choose whatever life you want, and I’m going to give it to you.”
Now I watch as she stands there in shock. Like we both just realized the truth, and that we’d both wanted the same thing all along. We were just too proud to admit it.
Recognition seemed to hit us both at the same time as we closed the distance between us and our lips met, our bodies crashing together, our movements frantic.
I wasted no time pushing her against the wall and thrusting my erection to meet her hips. A groan full of pent-up tension left her lips, and I swallowed it down, wanting to claim the sound.
I didn’t want to have to commit her body to memory. I wanted to be able to wake up to it and feel it against mine every day.
I hiked her nightgown up past her hips, a groan leaving my own lips as I realized she wasn’t wearing any underwear.
“Perfect,” I growled against her lips.
I broke away and trailed kisses down her neck, dropping to my knees and kneeling before the only person I ever willingly would.
The woman who held my heart in her palms, and my world, my future, my everything was hers.
My very essence. My soul.
It was all bound and intertwined to the woman standing before me. She was the thing I needed but never knew.
I put my head between her thighs, tickling her skin with the stubble on my cheeks, causing a gasp to leave her lips. I teased her, my warm breath gliding over her entrance. I planned to take my time with her this go around. To tease her in every way I could. To make her never forget whose she is.
“Kade,” she whined, already growing impatient.
“Yes?” I asked, not giving in so easily, and wanting to hear her say exactly what she wanted. I never wanted her to be afraid to ask for what she wanted. Not anymore.
She looked down at me, desire in her eyes, a blush creeping up her neck. She was glistening with her arousal, and I knew she was wanting, and desperate for my touch.
A whimper left her lips, and her body tensed, as if she was trying to prevent herself from moving.
“If you want something, princess, you’ll have to tell me,” I said, giving her my signature teasing smirk that I knew she loved so much.
She groaned, and I could tell she was two seconds away from cracking, and I was loving every minute of watching her fall apart for me.
“Unravel for me, Soren. Fall apart for me,” I teased, giving one lick up her slit, causing another groan to come out of her.
“Kade,” she whimpered.
“Yes, my love?”
“Ravage me,” she said sternly.
It was all I needed before I buried my face against her cunt, lapping up her arousal and giving her no mercy as I fucked her with my tongue.
She yelled out, and I could already begin to feel her legs shaking from an impending orgasm.
“Nobody’s ever been able to make you feel this good have they, Soren?” I said in between licks. “Especially not that bastard you have to call a husband.”
“No. Never,” she moaned, eyes rolling in the back of her head, hands splayed against the wall to hold herself up. I wanted her to tell me again and again every time I fucked her how nobody made her feel this fucking good. It was the ego boost I needed and made my dick stiffen more than it already was at how much she meant it. I was itching for my cock to be inside of her, but I wouldn’t stop now until she came all over my face.
I was a man on a mission, and my only focus was getting my girl off.
I grabbed underneath her thighs, bringing both of her legs on my shoulder before burying my face against her pussy again. I would never get tired of this. I would never get tired of her.
“Kade, I’m so close,” she whined, her thighs clenching against my face so hard she could break my jaw.
“Come for me, Soren,” I demanded, my voice muffled against her.
I grazed my teeth against her clit, giving everything I had to this woman, my one sole mission being to get her to her release.
“Ah!” She yelled, gripping my hair tight between her fingers, coming apart against me, her orgasm fresh on my tongue. I worked her through it, until her legs stopped shaking and she was panting above me.
I lowered her weak legs from my shoulders gently, and took pride in the fact that the shakiness in her limbs was my doing. I adjusted her nightgown, and came eye level with her again, her own eyes pooling with ecstasy.
She tried to reach for my dick, which was still straining against my pants, but I gently moved her hands away, wanting this moment to just be for her.
I cupped her face, holding her cheeks in my palms, and looked her square in the eyes.
“We are going to figure this out. I won’t let anything happen to you,” I said, knowing I’d protect her with everything in my body and that I meant every word. Now that I had found her, there was no way I was going to let her go.
There was nothing in this world or the next that would keep us apart now.