Chapter 22
Sadie | Highlands, present day
It’s raining heavily as we pull up outside Tim’s cabin. I say ‘cabin’; but the car lights illuminate a large architecturally designed home made of stone, wood, and solar panels bordered by a thicket of pine trees.
‘Cool place,’ says Floss, peering at it through the windscreen wipers.
‘Yeah,’ says Damian. ‘Uncle Tim built it about ten years ago, and it’s even won a sustainable home award. Well, I guess we should go and rouse the hermit.’
He switches off the car engine and lights. The house and surroundings are still easily visible with my night vision, though. As I get out of the car, my sensitive ears pick up the sound of rushing water nearby. And the rain-drenched air smells cold, fresh, and sweet. It’s a lovely peaceful spot.
My stomach flips nervously. I’m not at all prepared for this meeting.
The last time I saw Tim, he was in an apron cooking coq au vin at his kitchen stove, my arms were full of his cast-offs, and he was not happy with me.
We sold up and moved to a more university-oriented part of town a couple of months after that because we came up with the idea of using students for blood donors.
By that time, Elliott was completely in my thrall and fully on board with our plan.
I didn’t really give Tim another thought because I was too busy organising things.
He has crossed my mind a few times over the years, though, typically along the lines of ‘I wonder if he ever got married’.
The fact that he lives alone in an off-grid cabin in the Highlands suggests that he didn’t.
Unless he’s divorced. I could have checked up on him, I suppose, but I prefer to let sleeping dogs lie.
It’s crazy that out of all the people in Edinburgh, Floss had to go and hook up with Tim’s nephew. If I believed in karma, I’d say it was destiny that we were supposed to meet again because we have unfinished business. But I don’t believe in that. I don’t believe in anything.
We gather silently in front of a wide wooden door, which has an overhang from the roof protecting us from the rain. A gold tubular wind chime tinkles above, whipping around in the gusts from the storm. I hide behind Hester, easy to do because she’s so tall.
Are you freaking out right now? she asks me.
Yeah, I admit, wiping drips from my face and smoothing my damp hair nervously. I don’t know how he’s going to react when he sees me.
Damian rings the doorbell, and there’s no movement from inside. Then I detect a subtle thump of footsteps moving towards the entrance. Hester tilts her head, hearing them too.
Looks like you’re going to find out in exactly three, two ...
‘Damian. What are you doing here?’
I shut my eyes, resting my forehead against Hester’s back, as a mixture of regret and nostalgia washes over me at hearing Tim’s surprised, but familiar voice. I tend to put on a staunch facade, but only because underneath I’m such a fucking coward when it comes to emotional entanglements.
‘Hey, Tim. Uh, we’re just passing through. I know it’s a bit short notice, but would you be able to put us up for the night? I would have rung ahead, but Dad said you’re completely off-grid now.’
‘Yes, of course. Come in, come in.’ From his even tone, I assume it’s too dark for him to have had a good look at Damian’s friends.
But at least he said ‘come in’! That makes things easier.
We all shuffle past into a grey slate tiled foyer, where the light is brighter, and I risk a peek at Tim standing aside to let us in.
Shit, he’s still good-looking. Older, of course.
But he has all his hair and a beard too, salt-and-pepper coloured.
And he’s in great shape. His arms are brawny, and his khaki long-sleeved T-shirt is tight across his chest. Camel corduroy trousers cover muscular thighs.
He looks like a mountain man. He must chop wood or go for long country walks or something.
‘So what brings you ...’ he starts saying, then catches sight of Floss. His eyes widen, then drop to her and Damian’s clasped hands.
‘You may have met my girlfriend, Floss, before,’ says Damian calmly. ‘And her flatmates.’
‘Hi, Tim,’ says Floss casually, and Hester nods at him.
It’s time I made an appearance. Now or never, I think.
Popping out from behind her, I do jazz hands. ‘Surprise!’
It’s meant to be funny, but the look of shock on Tim’s face and the way he staggers back when he sees me suggest that it doesn’t land too well.
‘Sadie. What the ...’ he gasps, pressing a hand to his chest.
Yikes, I hope he’s not going to have a heart attack, I think to the others. Quick, someone relax him.
I could do it, but it feels too intimate to be pacifying my ex-boyfriend.
On it, says Floss, since he’s kind of my uncle now too.
Floss works her soothing magic, and Tim’s facial muscles slacken into a drowsy smile.
***
‘Your house is incredible,’ I say, gazing at the soaring vaulted ceiling, chunky grey stone fireplace, and polished concrete floors. The lounge is austere but softened by faux fur animal rugs, various artworks on the walls, and a fawn velvet couch, which I’m now sitting on with Tim.
‘Did you design it yourself?’
‘Thank you. Yes, with a little help from one of my architect friends.’
Tim takes a sip of chamomile tea and settles back beside me. I have a cup steaming on the glass coffee table too, and I’ve taken a couple of polite sips.
The others have vanished to their guest rooms, with the excuse of ‘freshening up’ before dinner, leaving us alone.
Tim mentioned that he’d throw something together in a bit.
I know he and Damian need to eat, but I’m not quite sure how the rest of us are going to get around that aspect.
I had a private conversation with Hester while Tim was making the tea.
Me: What are we going to do about dinner?
Hester: We’ll have to pick at it. It’s either that or go out hunting tonight for an animal. We should probably keep our blood bags for emergency backup in case we need it. They should be OK in the car boot.
Me: Good idea. Hopefully, whatever Tim cooks, it’s meat-based. If it’s tofu, I’m not touching it.
Hester: Me neither!
Knowing Floss and Damian, they’ll probably have one of their special ‘naps’, and she’ll feed from him.
It makes me crave Elliott just thinking about it.
I miss his blood, his scent. Him. But I can’t start falling apart now.
I’ve still got to endure another hypnosis session, and I need to stay strong and positive so we can find him.
‘It’s really great to see you,’ says Tim as I drift off, staring into the insipid yellow tea, thinking about Elliott, and hoping wherever he is, someone’s looking after him.
‘Huh? Oh, you too.’ I run a critical eye over him again, noting the way his bicep flexes as he drinks his tea. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look great for your age.’
He huffs a laugh. ‘I have a home gym. Keeps me out of trouble.’
‘So you work in ...?’
‘Tech start-ups. I invest early, then cash out.’
‘Nice.’
‘Yeah, it’s high-risk, but high reward.’
‘Still, you must be doing all right to afford this.’ I indicate the room with my chin.
He shrugs. ‘I built this from the nest egg I’d put aside for our future.
After thirty years, I finally got over you.
So I decided to get out of Edinburgh and use the money.
And here you are, looking pretty much exactly like the Sadie standing in my kitchen the day we broke up.
Different hair’—he reaches out and briefly touches my cheek—‘but same beautiful face.’
We lock eyes, my light blue to his dark blue; and I feel a gentle tug on my cold, desiccated heart—just a small one, not enough to kick-start it or anything.
But Tim and I were good together at the beginning.
We had fun. Until he started getting too serious.
Like now. I mean, what is he talking about?
Thirty years to get over me. That can’t be right.
I lick my lips nervously and shift along the couch a little.
‘But surely, you’ve had other relationships since me?’
‘Not really. No one ever compared to you, my mysterious Sadie. There was always something different about you. It’s why I fell in love with you ... am still in love with you.’
I puff out my cheeks, digesting this. Fuck. I knew it was a bad idea to come here. It’s my fault Tim’s turned into an off-grid hermit. Even worse, this amazing house was built with money meant for us and possibly where I would be living now if I’d ended up marrying him.
‘Of course, I had my suspicions back then that you weren’t completely ... human,’ he continues.
‘Did you?’ I sip my tea, glad that he’s bringing up the subject finally. Ugh, this tea is foul. What I really need is something more nutritious. I eye Tim’s tanned firm neck with only the barest trace of sagging skin. Now if I could get my fangs into that for a minute ...
‘Yeah, I woke up one night to discover you feeding from me. At the time, when I told my brother you might be a vampire, Malcolm said I was being ridiculous. But seeing you here now, looking like a fresh-faced twenty-something, it confirms I was right all along. It’s a consolation that I wasn’t crazy at least.’
‘Why didn’t you say something?’ I ask incredulously.
‘I didn’t know how to broach the subject. Didn’t want to drive you away. In the end, I did anyway.’
‘It wasn’t your fault.’
Tim takes the cup from me and places it on the glass coffee table.
He grasps my cold hands in his warm ones.
‘No, Sadie. I should have fought harder for you that day,’ he says earnestly.
‘I was angry. I’m sorry. I thought it best to let things cool off, but I waited too long.
By the time I went to contact you, to see if you wanted to give it another go, your flat had different owners.
’ He shakes his head. ‘That was a bad day.’
I extract one of my hands and place it on the back of his. ‘Don’t worry, it’s all in the past now,’ I say gently. Perhaps I should wipe his memory of this visit, if it’s too hard seeing me again.
‘Is it, though?’ he insists. ‘I still feel the same.’
I pat his hand idly. ‘Tim, be reasonable. You know what I am. It could never work.’ And besides, there’s Elliott. But I don’t mention him. Tim is obviously a bit nuts, and he might crack completely if he knows there’s another man in the picture.
‘Yes, I know what you are,’ he says patiently. ‘But I don’t care. I’m sick of living in limbo without you. I want you to do what I should’ve asked you to do in the first place.’
‘What’s that?’ I ask nervously.
Tim smiles. ‘Turn me, of course, so we can be together again.’