Chapter Fifteen
Eoin
My phone chimes just as I’m sitting down with Ari to go over what he learned from the Warhammers’ background checks, and I glance at it just to make sure it’s not work-related.
“Instant smile. It’s from Dáithí, then,” Ari teases, and my cheeks get hot.
“Yeah.” I shove it into my pocket without opening the message. It can wait until after the meeting.
Ari scoffs. “Just read it, Eoin. I don’t care.”
Part of me wants to hold out on principle, but that’s just stupid.
Are you free after work tonight? I need you to come somewhere with me and then portal me home.
I reread the message twice. This is the first time Dáithí’s asked me to portal him—he’s come with me before, of course, but he’s never asked me to as a favor. I mentioned it once and he said I’m not his personal transport service. Plus, he likes taking public transport so he can people watch.
“Is he okay?” Ari asks in concern as I just stare at my phone.
“Yeah. At least, I think so.” I show him the text, and he shrugs.
“Maybe he’s going on a shopping spree and doesn’t want to carry the bags home? Or he’s buying furniture.”
That’s possible. “He did say a couple of times that he wants a new rug for his bedroom.”
“There you go. Rugs can be awkward to carry.”
I make a sound of agreement, then text Dáithí back with an affirmative.
We haven’t had any time to spend together in the past couple of days.
The viceroy who looks after the elves in Romania went into early labor with her baby, and I went with Raeulfr so he could manage things there until a temporary replacement was found.
I also spent several hours hovering outside the birthing room, grateful that Raeulfr and the viceroy didn’t require my presence inside.
I got home late last night, and of course he was at his place. We got ten minutes together this morning when I got to work, but he’s promised to stay at my—
Thank you! And can we stay at mine tonight instead of yours?
Correction, he’s asked me to stay with him tonight.
Sure. Come find me when you’re done for the day.
I have a list as long as my arm of things to catch up with, so I’m bringing some work home to deal with while Dáithí watches TV or after he’s asleep. At least that way I still get to spend the evening with him, instead of hanging around here alone.
When I finally put my phone down, Ari’s watching me.
“He makes you happy, doesn’t he? Not just ‘life is good’ happy, but happy down to your bones.”
I smile. “Yeah. I want to do the same for him too.”
“You will. Whatever scared him that’s holding him back, he’ll get through it, and then you can be happy together.” There’s an edge of something in his face… not sadness. Wistfulness? Is Ari a closet romantic?
Or is he lonely?
Because a quiet word to Dáithí is all it would take for him to start hunting down a match for Ari. He likes Ari and loves matchmaking. It would be like giving him a present.
Hmm.
Ari’s words fully sink in a second later. “Wait, what do you mean, whatever scared him? You think Dáithí had a bad experience or something?” Wouldn’t he have told me if that was the case? We’ve both been open about our pasts… I thought.
“You don’t think he did?” Ari sounds astonished.
“I assumed that had to be part of it. I mean, sure, your reputation with relationships sucks, but you and he have been exclusive for over a year. Why is he still so sure you’ll want to walk away?
So much so that he wasn’t even willing to try until you forced him to? ”
My mouth is hanging open. I can’t believe I never put that together before—I had all the pieces, even asked the same questions Ari just gave voice to. “Well, fuck.”
Ari pats my shoulder. “It’s okay. Now, most—”
“It’s not okay. For starters, whatever hurt him must have been bad. Bad enough that he never even mentioned it, just let the wounds fester.”
“Maybe don’t use that word if you talk to him about it.”
“Is this a sign that he’s not that invested in me? Don’t people talk about their past wounds with the people they love? Did I ever have a chance at all, if whatever happened is so bad, he can’t even talk about it?”
“I guess the Warhammers are going to have to wait. Eoin, listen—you’re blowing this out of proportion.
We don’t even know for sure that something did hurt Dáithí.
What do I know about stuff like this? And even if his heart was broken or whatever, the fact that he’s willing to let you try says a lot about how he feels about you. Don’t get in your head over this.”
Sucking in a deep breath through my nose, I hold it, then exhale slowly. I hate when he’s right. There’s nothing I can do about this except what I was already doing.
There’s just one last painful thought I need to shake. “What if I objectively pass all the tests but his past hurt is still too much for him to get over?”
Ari grimaces. “Then you might have to give him the space he needs to heal. Or… have you ever asked the king if you and Dáithí are paired souls?”
I shake my head before he’s even finished asking the question. “It doesn’t matter to me. I love Dáithí, even if there is a chance our paths will diverge—” I freeze. Fuck. “That would be dirty play, Ari. Dáithí and I agreed that this is how I’ll prove myself.”
“I’m not suggesting that you should renege.
But if, like you said, you objectively pass all the tests and Dáithí is still struggling to let go of his fear, that could be an ace up your sleeve…
if you’re paired souls. He won’t have to worry about you not wanting a committed relationship if your souls are guaranteed to grow in the same direction, because if that happens, he’ll feel the same way. ”
“It’s not going to happen,” I say reflexively, but I can’t deny the temptation in his plan.
The only potential downside is that Raeulfr might say we’re not paired souls, and then I’d be right back at square one, only with a secret from Dáithí that might be unethical to keep.
“It’s a worry for another day,” I add finally.
“Let me prove myself first. It might not even be a problem.”
“Exactly.” Ari studies my face, then nods like he’s satisfied with whatever he saw there. “Ready to hear about the Warhammers?”
“That depends on whether I’m going to like what you say.”
He shrugs. “Mostly. A few drunk and disorderlies from after the playoffs final three years ago. Two public indecencies—the enforcement reports on those were pretty clear, and I don’t think they need to be followed up.
One guy and his girlfriend decided to get frisky in a park, but it was late at night and nobody was around except for one guy walking his dog. ”
I wave that off. Sex with a partner isn’t going to pose a threat to Raeulfr, even if they decide to do it at center ice. “The other one?”
Ari snorts. “Guy had to pee real bad and couldn’t find a bathroom. He thought the alley was safe.”
“But it wasn’t. Poor guy.” That’s not a concern either. “So we’re clear?”
“No. There’s one player who was charged with aggravated assault and destruction of private property.
The assault charge didn’t stick, both because they couldn’t prove intent and the doorbell camera clearly showed that he was swinging at the window and the victim jumped in the way, but I think we need to ask some questions. ”
I hold out my hand, and without asking what I want, Ari passes me the enforcement report. Skimming the list of property damage, I let out a low whistle. “He did all this with a hockey stick?”
Ari nods. “By the end it was only half a stick, but yes.”
That’s a lot of anger and violence. “I’ll call Erik and tell him we want a meeting with…” I glance at the top of the page. “Felix Ansas. Can I leave it to you to put together our questions for him?”
“I’ve got it. The rest of them are fine, which surprised me. The club has a reputation for recruiting big guys only, bruisers, so I was sure there would be a lot of problems, but most of the players are settled family men. The most aggressive one is Ansas, and he’s the opposite of a bruiser.”
“Sound like our talk with him is going to be interesting.”
I stare up at the sign identifying the building in front of me as an animal shelter. “Dáithí?”
“Yes?” He tugs on my arm. “Come on, don’t just stand there.”
Letting him draw me toward the door, I ask, “Why are we here? I thought you didn’t want to have another pet.”
He stops. “It’s not that I didn’t want to—”
“You weren’t ready,” I correct. I remember when his last pet, Embla, died, and how heartbroken he was. Since then, he’s mentioned not wanting another pet when he can’t give them security and safety.
It’s nice that he now feels like he can.
“So we’re here to find you a new baby?” I perk up at the thought that he wanted me here for this personal and important—
“No, I found her. We’re here to pick her up,” he says, and I try not to deflate too visibly. He asked me to help bring her home—that has to mean something.
I smile and hold the door for him. “I can’t wait to meet her.”
Inside, we’re greeted by a cheerful young woman who recognizes Dáithí. “She’s all ready for you!” she announces. “Did you bring a carrier for the car trip?”
Dáithí shakes his head, reaching into his pocket and producing a collar and leash. “We’re walking home, so I thought I’d carry her.”
Momentary doubt crosses the woman’s face. “You’re not going to drive?” she checks. “Because if there’s an accident and—”
“We’re definitely not driving,” I assure her. “That’s why Dáithí brought me—to make sure nobody bumps into him while he’s carrying her. I’m Eoin, by the way.”
“I’m Sandra.” She bites her lip. “Do you live close by?” I can tell she’s still unsure about the whole walking thing but doesn’t want to accuse us of lying.
“Dáithí’s place is about fifteen minutes from here—off Sturt Street.”
She relaxes, her smile returning. “It’s such a nice night for a walk too. Okay, I’ll go get her while you read through and sign these forms, and then you’ll be all set.” She pushes a clipboard across the counter, then disappears through a door.
Dáithí picks up a pen and starts skimming the form. “You’re going to carry her, hm?” I ask. “So a small pet.”
He nods absently, initialing a paragraph.
“But not something like a lizard, that needs an aquarium.”
That wins me a glance. “Nope. But we will be stopping at a pet store for me to buy some supplies.”
Ah, that explains why he wants me and my portal ability here.
He scrawls his signature at the bottom of the last form, then pushes the clipboard away just as Sandra emerges through the doorway, her arms full of something fluffy.
I blink. “Is that a rabbit?” Of all the animals I was considering, this was not one of them.
Dáithí eagerly holds out his arms and takes her, cuddling her close. “Her name is Elsking.”
The happy glow as he bends his face to press against her furry little head is all I need. It’s my life’s mission to see that glow on his face every day.