Chapter Twenty-Three
Dáithí
How is dancing with hundreds of other people in a hot, too-small space one of the most transcendental experiences a person can have?
Logically, it makes no sense, but when I’m crammed onto a dance floor and the music takes me over, every stress I have disappears.
My mind clears, and for a short time, I understand what it means to be one with the universe.
It’s always been that way, even back home.
Even when the dance floor was a clearing in a tréghel forest.
The only other thing that can get me to that place is good sex, but it’s different.
When I dance, it’s just me there, even if I’m surrounded by others.
Sex shares the experience with another person—which is probably why not every orgasm can get me there.
Opening your soul to merge with existence makes you vulnerable beyond the physical, and I wouldn’t want that with every person I’ve fucked.
I might be drunk. Merging with existence isn’t something I usually think about, whether via dancing or sex.
Throwing my arms around Eoin’s neck, I press my whole body against his and shout, “I always merge with the universe when you fuck me!”
He makes a confused face and shakes his head. “I can’t hear you properly,” he yells back, and I make the executive decision that it’s time for another break from dancing. I need to piss anyway.
Grabbing his hand, I begin pushing through the crowd toward the stairs, and it only takes Eoin a second to catch on and move ahead of me.
He’s not that much bigger than me, but somehow people react like he’s seven feet tall and three feet wide, parting easily to let him through.
I take advantage of it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t resent them for not doing the same for me. Don’t they understand the power I have?
“I could cut them off from the good printer!” I proclaim as we reach the velvet rope at the bottom of the stairs. Eoin and the bouncer stationed there both look at me, Eoin with fondness, the bouncer with an eye roll. Clearly he doesn’t understand how much power I have either.
He does see our wristbands, though, and unhooks the rope to let us through. The stairs are swaying just enough to make walking up them a challenge, but Eoin puts a hand on my back to guide me. He’s the best.
“I’m having such a great time,” I tell him. “Bathroom break, more drinks because my mouth’s dry, and then back to dancing.” It’s already nearly two, and I’m determined to make the most of every minute we have before closing.
“You’re the boss.”
I pause on the steps to give him a sexy smirk. “I like being the boss of you, but sometimes it’s fun for you to be the boss of me.”
His gaze darkens, and he steals a kiss. “I like it both ways. Maybe when you’re sober we can talk about it some more.”
“Yes! You can sober me up when we get home and then we can fuck till we pass out.” Talk about the perfect end to the perfect night.
Eoin chuckles and nudges me to get started up the stairs again. “Sure, baby. What were you saying downstairs? I don’t think I heard it right.”
I said something downstairs? Oh! “When you fuck me, I always merge with the universe.”
The sudden dead silence is my first hint that we’ve stepped through the ward at the top of the stairs. My second hint is the laughter that breaks out. I guess everyone in the VIP area heard me.
“We could have timed that better,” Eoin says, but he doesn’t sound mad, and he’s grinning.
“Oops?” We head toward our tables, where a few of our friends are—most are downstairs.
“Merge with the universe?” Ari asks, his face alight with laughter. “Is that a euphemism?”
I slide into the seat across from him, pulling Eoin down beside me, and jab a finger in his direction. “You only wish you could make someone come that hard. Which reminds me, I’m still mad at you.”
“How do those two things connect?” Eoin wonders out loud, waving our server off as she comes to see if we need anything.
Our latest bottle—the third for our table—isn’t empty yet, and last time we came back up, we ordered a couple of rounds of other drinks too.
One of mine is still half full, and I pick it up and take a sip now.
“You can’t just go around accusing people of things,” I continue, shaking my head. “And definitely you can’t accuse my friends of things. It’s rude, Ari, and I’m so ashamed of you.”
“He wasn’t your friend until this morning,” Ari mutters.
“That’s irrev—ivver—irrerel— It’s not the point!”
“Irrelevant,” Eoin murmurs, and I pat his arm in thanks. “What are we talking about, exactly? Why are you mad, and is this one of those situations when I should be mad, too, or are you handling it?”
Aww. “You are so merging me later. I’m gonna make you merge me so hard.”
“So it is a euphemism.” Ari leaps to change the subject. “But before it seemed like fucking and merging were—”
“Don’t try to distract us. Eoin needs to know how rude you are.” I turn my attention to Eoin. “Ari was rude to my friend Felix.”
Eoin looks at me expectantly—I’m not sure why—and then glances across the table at Ari. “Care to add anything?”
Sulkily folding his arms across his chest, Ari says, “No, thanks. You’ve already reamed me out about it.”
Did I always know Eoin was sexy when he frowned? There’s this little crease right between his eyes that screams for me to lick it.
“I— Wait, is this about what happened in the meeting with the Warhammers? Your friend Felix is that Felix?”
“Of course. Who else would he be?” Dammit, the crease disappeared. I’ll have to lick it another time.
“I didn’t know you even knew him. How did you meet?”
“We’re getting off topic, which is that Ari was mean and hurtful.” I reach for the champagne bottle. If we’re going to keep talking, I need to wet my throat.
“Jared introduced them,” Ari says. “Apparently he and Ansas are buddies, which nobody bothered to tell me before.”
“Felix Ansas is the player Jared knows?”
“Why is everyone surprised about that? Didn’t you ask Jared what his friend’s name was?” I did.
They both look embarrassed. Guess they didn’t think of that.
“We’re not getting off topic,” Eoin tells me. “I’ve already made it clear to Ari that he needs to be more diplomatic. He’s sorry for what he said.”
“But why did he—” I twist back around to face Ari. “Why did you say it? Not all the parts about his ex, but saying he attacks people was just mean.”
Ari’s mouth presses into a flat line. “It’s true, though. He goes after his teammates on the ice—I’ve seen videos of it.”
“He’s not proud of it! And it’s partly his coach’s fault anyway.” There’s a flaw in that argument, something my brain doesn’t like, but I refuse to be distracted by logic and reason. “Why, Ari? Why?”
“I don’t know, okay?” He runs one hand through his hair and grabs his drink with the other. “Something about him just pushed my buttons. I’m sorry.”
I narrow my eyes on him. “Have you told him that?”
“Told him what?”
“That you’re sorry?”
“Dáithí,” Eoin begins, but Ari cuts him off.
“No. Because during the meeting wasn’t the right time and I’m not ever going to see him again.”
It’s my turn to fold my arms. “He’s my friend and you’re Eoin’s friend—and sometimes mine—so you’re going to see each other again. I refuse to have an awkward friendship circle, which means you have to say sorry and make it better.”
“We’re only friends sometimes?” He sounds hurt by that, and I instantly feel bad.
“Most of the time. When you’re not being…” I wave my hand toward him, encompassing the vibes he’s giving tonight.
“When I’m not being me? Do you understand what he means?” he asks Eoin.
“Yes, but that’s not as important as the fact that he’s right. You need to apologize to Ansas.”
Ari throws up his hands. “If I ever run into him at your place or whatever, I will. I promise not to make the friendship circle awkward. Can we be friends, now?”
I nod. “That’s acceptable to me.” Since that’s sorted, I need to find the bathroom. My bladder’s reached its limit.
Eoin shakes his head. “No, you need to contact him and apologize in your role as a member of the security team.”
I instantly forget about my bladder. “What? Why?”
“What he said,” Ari adds.
“Because you’re going to be the liaison with the Warhammers for this project, including the training camp visit.”
“Dáithí!”
I lift my head and glare at Alistair. Shouting like that in my reception area is not okay.
“How come I didn’t get invited out on the weekend?” he demands, plonking his elbows on the raised part of the desk and leaning forward. “We’re friends! I’m on your support team! This was a Summit of Love event!”
“Is this really the best use of your Monday morning?”
He pouts. “Noah told me to get out of the office until I was ready to quit complaining.”
Noah’s a smart man. “So you thought you’d come and complain here and ruin the afterglow of my amazing weekend?”
“Now you’re rubbing it in that I missed out? Wow, Dáithí. That’s mean.”
I give up. “Eoin made the guest list. I didn’t know anything about it until we arrived. Take it up with him.”
He nods enthusiastically. “Oh, I will. But first…” Glancing around, he leans so far over the desk that I worry he might somersault into my lap. “Give me a status update.”
“Not this again.” Most of my irritation is due to the unsettled feelings I’ve been having over the past few days.
I need to work through them and decide what I actually want, but I’ve been putting it off because the high of the weekend was too good to ruin…
which means I also feel guilty about putting it off for selfish reasons.
My head is an exhausting place to be today.
Alistair gives me big puppy eyes, and I sigh. Unless and until I end this challenge, he and the others are entitled to updates. “What do you want to know, exactly?”
“This was the second date, right? Hagen said he also cleaned your apartment. How did that go?”
“It was perfect,” I admit, remembering the joy of making pancakes yesterday and not having to rummage for five minutes to find the cinnamon.
“Totally clean and organized, but he didn’t mess with my stuff.
I still know where everything is.” A smile tugs at my mouth.
“He built an extension for Elsking’s hutch with a playground for her, and he used a spell to make the house smell like my favorite things. ”
Alistair makes a humming noise. “So he gets full points for that task, and points toward the living entity one?”
“Yeah. All the points.” My chest tightens. “Hey, Alistair? How would you have felt if your boyfriend asked you to do all this?”
He makes a weird face. Is he trying to raise his brows? Why is his face scrunching like that?
“Are you second-guessing the Summit of Love?”
My eye twitches, but I let that stupid name pass. “No. Maybe. I’m… just curious.” It’s the most unconvincing thing I’ve ever said, but he answers the question anyway.
“Honestly, it would depend why he asked it. If it was an ego thing, or just to make me jump through hoops, I’d walk away.
I don’t want to be in that kind of relationship, and thankfully Aidan doesn’t either.
He’d never ask me to.” He shrugs, even as my stomach sinks.
Is this whole thing just going to convince Eoin I’m not who he wants, after all?
“But,” Alistair continues, “if Aidan had something going on in his life and needed me to give him some extra reassurance, then I’d do anything he wanted.”
Which sounds good, but Eoin has no idea why I’m so reluctant to believe he can make this commitment. As far as he’s concerned, I really might be doing this for an ego trip. “Yeah. I guess.”
“It’s like, when I was young, my boyfriend tried to burn down my house with me in it.”
What?
“That made me leery about having another boyfriend,” he goes on, like he didn’t just say something completely unhinged.
“Aidan understood that, and he helped me get past it.” He tips his head to the side and purses his lips.
It looks ridiculous. “Not that it took much for me to get past it, but he still helped.”
“Is this your way of saying I should talk to Eoin about things that might be holding me back?”
He holds up his hands. “You asked how I’d feel, so I’m giving you context. That’s all. I’ll email the others and we can schedule a time for a full debrief. Eoin’s making big progress, so we should try to keep up.”
I make an agreeing noise as he turns away, but he’s barely taken three steps before he turns back. “Hey, Dáithí? Don’t forget that you never asked Eoin to do any of this. It was his idea.”