Episode 23
EPISODE 23
REMEMBERING WHO YOU ARE
Ariel
“Brett, please.” My voice is breathy as I gasp, coming down from my third orgasm while lying on the sand.
He smiles between my legs, his chin glistening in the moonlight. “Please what?”
“I need you. Inside me. Please .”
His shirt is beneath me on the sand, but he’s still wearing his jeans. He crawls up my body, his bulge grazing my clit in just the right place, and shoves his tongue into my mouth.
God, his kiss… More perfect than before, and I taste my own juices on his tongue. I slide my lips against his, twirl my tongue with his, moan into his mouth…
Until he breaks the kiss, rolls over, and sits on the sand, his bronze chest sprinkled with starlight.
“Brett?”
“God, Ariel… You have no idea how much I want to fuck you right now.”
“No one’s stopping you. Except you , of course. You’ll have to take off your pants.”
“Damn.” He pushes his hair off his forehead. “If I…”
“If you what?”
“Come here.” He moves the skirt of my sundress back over my legs and then pulls me into his lap so I’m straddling him. “You’re so beautiful.”
“Thank you.” I tilt my head. “Did I do something wrong?”
He trails one long finger over my cheek, around my jawline. “Of course not.”
“Then…why won’t you…”
“Fuck you?” He shakes his head. “It’s not because I don’t want to.”
“If I want it too, what’s the harm?”
He pulls me forward and brushes his lips over mine. “It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
I jerk my head backward. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No. I would never kid about that.”
“You just gave me the best orgasms I’ve ever had. I want to give you one in return.”
He traces my lower lip. “This mouth. So sexy. I’d love to feel it on my cock.”
I begin to rise, but he pulls me back down.
“I didn’t mean now.”
“Why not? I’m happy to return the…” The what? The orgasm? The oral? The excruciating pleasure? I finally settle on, “the favor.”
That gets a chuckle out of him. “I wasn’t doing you a favor, Ariel.”
“I know. I mean?—”
He touches his finger to my lips once more. “I know what you meant. And I meant it when I said I wanted to fuck you. But I also meant it when I said it wouldn’t be fair to you. I’d be taking advantage of you.”
“I’m giving you the advantage.”
“I know, and that means a lot to me. But I made a promise to myself when the guys and I decided to do this event.”
“What promise?”
He kisses my lips again. “I promised I wouldn’t have sex with any of you until I was sure.”
“Sure about…”
“Sure that I’d found my match. That I’d fallen in love.”
I drop my gaze. “Oh.”
He tips my chin so I’m looking into his surfer-god blue eyes again. “I like you a lot, Ariel. You’re the first woman I was drawn to. I love your innocence, your sweetness, your girl-next-door quality. And of course you’re gorgeous. But I’d be lying if I said I was in love with you.”
Crack.
I can almost hear the fracture in my heart.
Innocence? That was taken from me long ago.
Sweetness? Sweet girls don’t beg a man for a fuck.
Girl next door? That’s a polite way of saying a woman isn’t sophisticated.
Gorgeous? That’s nice, but I’m more than my looks.
Still, he meant his affirming words to be kind…but he said nothing about my intelligence.
Why should he? It’s non-existent compared to the other women.
I rise and look around the sand for my panties.
“Ariel…”
“It’s okay. I understand. It’s better this way. You’re right.”
Inside, I’m berating myself. I was so determined to prove I wasn’t easy, and what’s the first thing I did? I begged Brett Dawson to fuck me.
Not a good look.
I’ve royally screwed up.
This is not who I am. In fact, I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve uttered the phrase “I’m giving you the advantage.” Of course, I’ve never had someone as luscious as Brett Dawson show me any interest.
My panties lie a few feet away, a white flag of surrender sitting on the sand. I grab them and scrunch them in my hand. I pick up Brett’s shirt and hand it to him as he stands.
I can’t help my gaze dropping to his bulge, which is still very apparent.
Brett shakes the sand from his shirt and shoves his arms into the sleeves, leaving it unbuttoned. “Come here.” He pulls me into his chest for a hug.
A sweet embrace.
He’s trying to comfort me, but I don’t want his comfort. I want…
I want him .
I want him to want me .
Which he does. Just not enough to do the deed.
“Try to understand,” he says softly against my ear.
I pull back. “What makes you think I don’t? I got carried away is all. You’re… You’re very…adept at…you know.”
“It was truly my pleasure, Ariel.” He gives me a smile.
A smile that says to me, “I loved eating your pussy, little mermaid, but you’re not what I’m looking for.”
I smile back. Or try to. “The pleasure was definitely mine.”
He takes my hand. “We’ve got a big day tomorrow. I don’t want to keep you out any later.”
Four years earlier…
Losing my virginity in the back of a pickup was never my dream, but Nelson and I are in love. The blanket smells like stale smoke, and the truck bed is hard against my body as Nelson thrusts into me.
Nelson’s twenty-nine, and today is my eighteenth birthday. We’ve been dating for a month, and I’ve been ready, but Nelson refused to sleep with me until I became a legal adult.
He thrusts again?—
“Fuck!” he grits out.
Is that it?
I didn’t come. It was so quick, and he…
Oh well.
Maybe next time will be better. My bestie, Jazz, told me the first time’s never any good.
Nelson rolls off me and wipes himself off with an old bandana.
I sit up, the pain between my legs subsiding as his semen trickles out of me. A piece of fabric falls into my lap. I look, thinking it’ll be another bandana so I can clean up.
It’s not. It’s my underwear.
“Get dressed,” Nelson says.
“Uh…sure. Okay.” I wiggle into the panties and paw around for my tank top and shorts, the summer breeze drifting over my naked flesh.
Nelson throws on his shorts and T-shirt. “Hurry up, Ariel. For God’s sake.”
“Okay, okay.” I get into my clothes while Nelson hops into the driver’s seat of his truck. I jump over the bumper, open the door, and sit beside him in the passenger seat. “It was wonderful, Nelson.”
“Yeah.” He starts the engine. “I’m taking you home.”
I nod.
He doesn’t speak to me until he stops in front of Mama’s house. “Get out.”
I turn to him. Usually he walks me to the door. Kisses me goodnight. “Nelson?”
“Did I stutter? Get out, Ariel. We’re done.”
I gulp as my skin goes cold. “We’re… what ?”
“Done. I got what I was after.”
“You mean…”
“Yeah. I was after your tight body and your hot pussy. I don’t do little girls, so I had to wait until your birthday.”
I gulp again, my eyes widening. This can’t be happening. My heart thumps. Can a broken heart thump like that? “But I love you. And you said you loved me.”
Nelson rolls his blue eyes. “I say a lot of things. Words don’t mean jack. Now get out.”
All feeling flees from my body as I numbly open the door and exit Nelson’s truck.
A second later, he drives off, his tires screeching.
Feeling returns, and I cry myself to sleep. Weep for my lost love, for the man I thought he was, and for the gift I gave him so freely that is now gone forever.
And the next morning, I vow never to put myself in a situation like that again.
Present Day…
I tug on Brett’s arm.
He turns to face me. “You okay?”
I smile, and this time it isn’t forced. “I am. I remembered something from my past, something that broke me and healed me at the same time.”
“Oh? You want to talk about it?”
I shake my head. “Not really, but I want to thank you.”
He chuckles, grazing my cheek with his palm. “No need to thank me.”
My cheeks warm, and not from the three orgasms or the balmy night breeze. “Not for that , though it was great.”
“What for, then?”
“For helping me remember who I am.”
“I did that?”
“You did. I’m not easy, Brett, but I forgot for a moment. I got stars in my eyes thinking someone like you might be interested in me.”
“I am interested.”
“I know. So am I. But you’re right. We both need to get to know the others.”
“Yes.” He brushes a hair off my forehead. “Just so you know, Ariel, I did break a promise tonight.”
“You did?”
“I promised myself I’d stick to only kissing until we all knew each other better.”
“Then why…?”
He pulls me to him in another embrace, tangling his fingers in my hair. “Because you’re very hard to resist, sweetheart.”
I smile against his chest.
We’re not in love, but that’s okay. It’s good, even.
I vowed after Nelson never to mistake infatuation for love again, and I almost did tonight.
Thanks to Brett, I got a reprieve.
Now I need to remember who I am.
I’m Ariel Tanner.
And I deserve to be here.
We walk, hand in hand, across the sand to the concrete pathway, and?—
“Brett, thank God!” A shadowy figure hurries through the dark. “We need to talk. Now .”