Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
THORA
ONE WEEK LATER
I miss him.
It doesn’t matter that I logically know I need to get over him, or that he was wrong for me from the start. I can’t help it. That broody, lost little boy was mine for as long as he allowed himself to be.
But every time I remember what he said to his brother, the wound opens all over again.
I’ve gotten very good at pretending it doesn’t bother me.
I show up at the farm, tend to the animals, bring meals to the shelter, and even laugh at the right moments when my family is around.
But the whole time, there’s this hollow space sitting in the middle of my chest that I can’t seem to fill, no matter how busy I keep myself.
Which is exactly why I’ve been avoiding any one-on-one time with my sister. If Greer gets her claws in me, I know I’ll spill everything, and that can’t happen. She’s like a human lie detector without even trying, so it’s no wonder Daddy likes to use her for interrogations.
And yes, I know all about that because I’ve seen her in action.
Purely by accident, obviously. I once walked into the barn back in Texas and found a man tied to a chair with my sister standing in front of him, holding a knife like it was just a normal Tuesday afternoon.
That was when she told me she was the one they brought in when someone needed to talk.
When she’s not handling the books, of course. A woman of many talents.
Out in the paddock, Charlie and I are tending to Cider and the new horse when…speak of the devil. Charlie notices Greer too, and one look at her serious expression tells me she’s all business.
“Uh-oh.” He snickers. “She’s heading our way. Duck for cover.”
A nervous giggle slips out of me even as my stomach drops.
What if she knows something about Anton and me?
“Hey.” Greer stops at the fence, her attention zeroing in on me. “Can we talk?”
“Uh, I’m kind of busy. Can we do it later?” I unwrap Cider’s leg, hoping that sends her away.
“No.”
Fuck me.
“Give me a sec, Charlie.” I get to my feet and head over to her. “What’s up?”
“You tell me. You’ve been weird all week. Is there something going on that I should know about?”
“No. I’m fine.”
Her eyes turn to slits. “Don’t lie to me. You’ve been moping, and you reorganized the entire feed room at six in the morning yesterday, which you only do when something’s really wrong.” She crosses her arms. “Who do I need to kill?”
Damn, she’s good.
“No one. I swear.”
“Let’s grab lunch,” she adds. “I don’t have any appointments this afternoon.”
Yeah…no, thank you. She’ll interrogate me into submission before the appetizers come.
“Oh, I can’t. I already told Charlie I’d grab something with him.”
I look over at him, silently begging, please go along with it.
The instant he recognizes my desperation, he nods. “Yeah.” He sets down the hose and wipes his hands on his jeans. “I’m getting kind of hungry.”
Relief rushes through me. “Then we should go.”
Greer takes us both in, one brow lifting, and I brace myself for her to tell him to piss off.
Instead, she says, “Fine. But we’re talking later.”
“Absolutely.”
A nervous flutter moves through my stomach. At least now I can prepare myself.
She heads off toward the bed-and-breakfast, and the second she’s out of earshot, I turn to Charlie, who’s watching me with the faint beginnings of a smile.
“Thank you,” I breathe. “Seriously. I owe you.”
“Nah.” He waves it off. “What are friends for? So I take it we’re not actually getting lunch?”
“No, we are. I mean, if you want to.”
“Sure do. I wasn’t lying when I said I was starving.” He grabs his keys from his pocket. “Come on. I’ll drive.”
The diner is half full when we get there, the lunch rush starting to trickle in. We slide into a booth near the back and Charlie waits until we’ve ordered before he leans back against the booth and tips his head at me.
“So…you gonna tell me what I just rescued you from back there, or do I get to keep guessing?”
I groan, dropping my face into my hands. “Is it that obvious?”
“That you’d rather chew glass than have lunch with your sister?” He pinches his thumb and forefinger. “Little bit.”
A laugh escapes me, and it feels good. Easier than anything has felt all week.
“It’s not that I don’t want to see her. I love Greer. It’s just, she has this way of getting things out of me. Things I’m not ready to talk about yet.”
“What kind of things?”
“It’s nothing.” I wave a hand. “Just guy stuff. It’s complicated and stupid and was over before it started, and I really don’t want to get into it.” I shake my head. “Sorry. That’s probably more than you wanted to know.”
“No, it’s fine.” He settles deeper into the booth. “For what it’s worth, whoever he is, he sounds like an idiot.”
I huff out a laugh. “He definitely has his moments.”
“You can do better.”
“Well, now you sound like Rue.”
“She’s a smart kid. Maybe you should listen to her.”
“What about you? Do you have someone special?” I pick up my iced tea and take a sip.
“Nah. No one here has caught my eye.” He stares at me a little too long.
I pin my hair behind my ear and switch the subject to something safer, asking about the farm and how he likes working there…
Until Charlie leans back and says, “Can I ask you something? And you can tell me to mind my business.”
“Sure.”
“Why aren’t you involved in the family business?”
“I am.” I jerk my head back.
“Not that business.”
“Oh.” I scratch at my temple, realization dawning. “Right.”
Sometimes I forget the ranch hands know how my family really makes money. They also know what can happen if they run their mouths, which means the people Daddy hires are either loyal, smart, or scared enough to keep quiet. Usually all three.
“I don’t know.” I glance down at the table. “They’ve never really asked me to be a part of it. That’s how it’s always been. To be honest…”
The words float in my head, but I’m nervous to say them out loud.
“What is it?” Charlie leans in, his attention fixed on me.
“It’s just…” I look down at the table. “I never felt like I was one of them.”
My heart beats heavier with the confession, and he nods like he understands.
“It’s like that with my family too. My dad’s a lawyer. One of my brothers followed in his footsteps, and the other is a stockbroker.” He laughs, picking up his water. “Then there’s me. I never really fit in with them, you know?”
“Wow. I didn’t know all that about you.”
He nods. “It’s funny how we can work with people every day and still not really know them.”
“You’re so right.”
In my case, my own family doesn’t even know what I’m hiding. The secret house rental. Anton.
Fuck, there I go thinking about him again.
“Anyway…” he says. “We are who we are, right? Nothing is gonna change that.”
“Yep. And I think we’re pretty awesome.”
“You, maybe.” He chuckles. “I’m still a work in progress.”
“Aren’t we all?”
After that, we fall back into easier conversation. By the time we head back to the farm, I feel lighter than I have all week.
It isn’t until much later, when I’m lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, that Anton slams into my thoughts again. As I roll onto my side, all I want is the hippo he gave me tucked against my chest. But it’s back at my place, abandoned with everything else we left behind.