Rainer
Mama said there’s no such thing as magic. There’s always an explanation for what we see.
I’ve never been to this library. It’s not the biggest one I’ve been to. That would be in Nyc City. I was always impressed that the massive glass windows were intact every time I visited. Is that still the case today?
I imagine it is. If monsters maintain the libraries, I’m guessing that they maintain the integrity of the structure too.
When I was younger, I used to beg my mama to allow me to take books out even though she told me that they weren’t allowed beyond the doors.
I thought she just didn’t want me to spend all my time reading, so I’d tried to sneak one once.
An invisible wall wouldn’t let me move through the threshold until I returned the book to its shelf.
Libraries were a place of magic. Not real magic, though, as Mama assured me there wasn’t any such thing.
I used to argue about the things we saw monsters do, but she always insisted it wasn’t magic.
“Some people can roll their tongue and others can’t.
Is that magic? Some people are born with different color skin and eyes and hair.
Is that magic? Some people are able to touch their thumb to their pinky on the same hand while others can’t.
Is that magic? Some people are born with different abilities; that’s all. ”
Admittedly, she wasn’t wrong. I understood the concept, and when viewed through that lens, I definitely understood exactly what she meant.
But I think of this often, especially since meeting these monsters and others on Base 6. I watched a scaled woman go from what was practically a fish-human to a human with no signs of scales or fins or anything. Is that really not magic?
I watched Notto leap dozens of feet into the air and rip off the head of a massive flying monster with his bare hands. That’s seriously not magic? What about the cracks in his skin that glow? They don’t bleed. They glow!
When I get back from wandering around the library aisles, only Drystan is there with four bowls of food.
They smell good. He watches me as I take one and sit on one of the rolls of mats and bedding.
I’ve only taken a few bites when Kaida joins me.
She lies along the side of my leg, pressing her back to me.
I wonder what Mama would say about all the things I’ve seen and been told. Would she tell me that the monsters are lying? How would she explain away people like Leema, who is quite visibly covered in scars, and her horrific story?
I used to think that Mama’s voice rang so clearly in my head that I could hear her words in any given situation.
I’m not sure that’s true anymore. Recently, her voice is silent.
I don’t think it’s because she’s left me any more than she had before these monsters came into my life.
I think, more accurately, I’m just not sure what she’d say.
What sounds unmistakably like a pleasure-filled moan whispers through the room. I look around and meet Drystan’s eyes. He’s smirking.
“Your horns are gone,” I say, unable to stop staring.
Drystan reaches up to feel his head. “They are,” he muses. “They’ll be back.”
I’m not sure how to respond to that.
“My body constantly changes. I think it has to do with my surroundings,” Drystan says as he looks around thoughtfully. “My horns tend to be for outdoors. I think they’re like flashy appendages on animals. They make me look bigger than I am.”
Yep, still no response to that, though it’s curious that he can’t control his body. Then again, I can’t control the way mine grows either. The key difference is mine has stayed the same my entire life. I don’t have appendages or decorations that come and go with the change in the environment.
Keary comes out from the aisles with a book in his hand. Without a word, he drops onto the mat beside me and opens the book. Drystan looks amused.
Coming out from within the aisles with a slight smirk, Notto sits far more gracefully than Keary had.
He reaches for a bowl and eats in silence.
I can feel tension growing within our group.
Maybe they’d had an argument? I feel like if the moan we heard came from either of them, Keary wouldn’t look this irritated, not unless someone was doing something wrong.
I set my bowl in front of Kaida for her to finish.
“You don’t like it?” Drystan asks. His question makes Keary look at me over the top of his book.
“It’s fine. I’m just not hungry right now.”
No one likes my answer.
“Are you ill?” Notto asks.
I huff. “No. Just not hungry. You feed me more meals in a day than I’ve had my entire life.”
All the monsters frown at me.
“That’s not good,” Notto says. “You should be eating more.”
I’m about to point out that humans don’t have massive compounds with livestock and gardens but decide against it. Instead, I shrug. “I’m tired. Kaida won’t let the food go to waste.”
Considering Kaida’s already licked the bowl clean, it’s an accurate assessment.
I lie on my side on the mat with a soft pillow under my head and Kaida curled up against my chest. There’s still light streaming in through the windows and the quiet sounds of noises throughout the building.
The soft sound of Keary turning pages as he reads.
Out of all the places I’ve slept in my lifetime, I never sleep better than I do in the libraries. I know I’m safe here. Maybe there’s monster magic, or maybe it has its own magic. Whatever it is, the library is the one place that I’m never scared to close my eyes.
***
There’s no sound when I open my eyes. Nothing specific woke me except maybe the thick tension hanging between us. It almost feels like a wall.
I come face to face with Keary. It’s like looking into the sun, making me squint. He smiles, and I flinch back from the blinding light. My stomach flips because I realize he’s practically pressed right up against me.
My body aches with the time that’s passed since I’ve gotten off. It’s making even a monster appealing.
Who am I kidding? As far as monsters go, these guys are…
I could do worse. In spite of the growing tension, I like them.
I like their company. I like their personalities.
I hate that the truth of the world is so far from what I was taught, but secretly, I like that what I know about monsters is wrong.
The cruel aren’t the vast majority. I suppose that rule applies to most living things.
“Oh good. You’re awake. I’m going to get food,” Keary says.
I rub my eyes and look at him through squinted eyes. “You could have woken me if you’re in a hurry.”
“I’m not in a hurry,” Keary says as he gets to his feet.
I roll onto my back and close my eyes. Kaida presses against my side, curling her head around to put her nose in my face. I grin.
“I don’t need your help,” Keary says, and I twist to watch him walk through the door with Notto behind him.
“I didn’t ask if you did,” Notto says.
“Don’t touch me.”
“I’m three feet away from you,” Notto says, his voice remaining neutral even though Keary sounds annoyed.
“That’s not far enough.”
“Stop being a child.”
Their words drift away as they move down the hall. I turn my attention to Drystan and stare. “Your horns are different.”
Up until last night, they were huge and thick, coming up from the crown of his head before curving backward. Now, they’re like a gazelle’s—much shorter, straight, and twisted, with their bases further apart than the previous set.
Drystan reaches up to touch them, his hand following the length to the sharp point. “Huh,” he says, then meets my eyes. “Are they sexy?”
I laugh. “Yeah.”
He grins. “Cool.”
I scratch Kaida’s neck and shoulder before pushing myself up into a sitting position and rubbing my face again.
“Did you sleep well?” Drystan asks as if he’s the host of the library.
I nod, amused. “Yeah. I always sleep well in the library.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s safe. When I was younger and we’d visit the big library in Nyc City, I used to imagine my parents deciding to leave me there because it’s a safer place than anywhere else in the world.”
Drystan hums.
“You don’t find the outside world… scary?” I ask.
“No,” he answers, shrugging. “I know what true terror is. I lived through it.”
I swear I can see ghosts reflecting in his eyes. “How long were you…” I’m not sure how to ask the question without using the word “torture” or an equivalent.
“I don’t know. We didn’t exactly celebrate birthdays. At best guess, I was eight or nine.”
My stomach churns. The things he’s seen. The horrors he’s been through. “How did you get out?”
His head tilts and focus gets distant. “My group was sent in to kill a family with the living drones. I used to cry the whole time because these families that we were sent to attack were innocent. Our options were to kill them or be tortured for days and days. We mostly won because when they saw they were facing kids, they’d hesitate.
That was our advantage. One day, we went in, and one of the kids from my group broke down.
She curled up on the ground and begged for them to kill her because she didn’t want to kill anyone else.
The monsters we were attacking showed her mercy, promising not to kill her if she sat out of the fight.
She did for a short time, then she went around to the rest of us kids and offered us an out.
We left the drones to their own devices, and all eight of us kids sat to the side, just where the monster told the girl to sit.
When it was over and they killed the drones, they took us to the Harem Project headquarters where we… ”
Drystan’s voice trails off. He closes his eyes for a second as he takes a deep breath. “We were shown kindness,” he whispers. “We were given a life. Forgiven for the murders we’d committed.” He swallows.