Drystan
I love the way you love me exactly as I am, seeing me as a perfect monster when I was created with the sole purpose of death.
It was difficult to know where I was while we were at the garage tearing apart the pod. It felt far too similar to the past. To being a child stuck in a cage, commanded to do as I was told lest I end up like the man on the table.
Thunder and lightning is an instant trigger to panicking. There’s nothing quite like a storm that has the ability to drown me in memories, dragged up from a past long suppressed inside me. If the storm is bad enough, if I’m caught in it, the past can come to life around me as ghosts.
Being surrounded by pods has the same effect at times even though I know I’m in control now. I’m able to fight back, whereas small-child me wasn’t able to.
I’ve come to the conclusion that they beat fear into us from the moment we came out of the womb, and they used that fear to control us.
The reality of the situation is simple. If we’d been able to break free of that fear, we’d have realized that we were stronger than the monsters who kept us. They’d created weapons that far surpassed their strength and means. The only shackles they had to hold us were fear.
It’s a liberating feeling, knowing that I have the strength and power to kill them. I take pleasure in that. It’s therapeutic. The pods that exist now aren’t the same monsters who created, kept, and hurt me—I’m relatively convinced they’re dead—but these monsters are just like them.
It’s cathartic to kill them, to torture them as they’d have done to me, in the ways that they do to their victims now.
My stomach is unsettled when I look at the broken body of the human they’d been working on. It all leads to one very clear conclusion: they’re experimenting on humans again.
We found a heaping pile of bodies in the basement, having been tossed there through the hole in the floor where people used to drive their cars over for oil changes. The living humans were behind a wall of bars in clear view of the dead.
I recognize that fear tactic well. As I stared at the scene, I was the small child being forced to stare at another experiment’s dead body from behind bars.
An experiment who’d defied them. Refused to do as they were told.
The experiment had once slept in the cage beside mine.
Now, their body was completely unrecognizable.
I didn’t know exactly what they’d done to them, but it did the trick.
I was fucking terrified.
The similarity between what was in the basement of the garage and the place I’d been kept was far too similar. Incredibly different yet the same tactics. Same message.
You’re next if you don’t do as you’re told.
A week has gone by, and for the most part, I’ve put it behind me. That’s no longer real. It’s not my life anymore. I’m safe. I’m with men who love me and will protect me from the horrors of my past.
We released the humans. We released the children. We carry on toward Nyc City, now within a couple days’ walk even while moving at the relatively leisurely pace that we are.
Keary’s hand slides into mine, our fingers linking together. I try not to grin too widely, but it’s difficult to hide it. I’ve known all along that this is the man he is. Attentive. Concerned. Loving. He sees that I’m upset and no longer pushes Notto to comfort me.
“I’m not upset,” I tell him, which is only slightly a lie. I’m a little upset. I can still see the ghosts of my past lingering around, and it bothers me. “I’m glad to be able to kill monsters like that. It feels like I’m helping karma out.”
He kisses my cheeks. “I know, but it can feel good and bad at the same time. Your actions can be justified yet still leave you feeling rough.”
I know that the Ra were targeted. Almost everyone who resided on the base where I’d been brought upon my rescue was a target of Silence.
I’ve always felt vindicated that Silence had become overconfident. They’d been so assured of their victory, so sure they’d terrified everyone into submission until there weren’t enough monsters to stand against them.
The fact that they were wrong and that I and all the other experiments who’d been tortured by them were able to be a part of their end helps me sleep better at night. Before that, I’d been plagued by nightmares that they’d somehow steal me back. Being a part of their deaths helped me heal.
But not all wounds heal. Some can be ripped open again under certain circumstances. Some will never, ever heal, no matter how much time passes.
I’m alright now. Sometimes, I have to remind myself of that, especially after coming face to face with what the pods are trying to do. I see ghosts for days after. They’re little wisps that walk by in my peripheral vision, always making me turn to look. Always making my heart jump.
You’re not real.
“KEARY RA!”
We stop in our tracks. We’ve been walking along the river for a while now. The voice itself sounds like it came from the watery depths.
I know who that is. Notto rolls his eyes, but Keary grins widely. We all know who that is.
We’re not disappointed when Iskander materializes from the water, standing in all his barky yet watery glory. Once, this river was disgustingly polluted from centuries of human misuse. It’s remarkably clear now, which means I can see all the other shapes in the water too.
“Iska,” Keary says. He kisses my cheek again and lets go of my hand. They embrace, Keary plucking Iska from his feet and spinning him around.
Other monstrous shapes begin emerging from the river. Tentacles. A watery wolf head. An eel.
Don’t be fooled by the mundane images in your head. Remember that these are monsters. The tentacles belong to a kraken, and his suctions have teeth all their own. The wolf glows like he’s radioactive, though he’s all water.
The eel might be most terrifying though not quite the most dangerous. His spines are sharp, tipped in red. His face is more wolf-muzzle than eel and filled with sharp teeth.
Then there’s what I always equate to a sea dragon—a horrendous combination of fish, snake, and dragon. Incredibly long, thick, and strong. She coils out of the water, sliding onto the ground before spiraling up until her upper body hovers like that of a snake.
I’ve always marveled at the OG monsters in the world. There’s already a variety, hundreds of species. Why the hell did Silence think they needed to make their own? I don’t fit into any one niche like monsters do.
Monsters are all naturally classified. Teko? We’re a fucking mix of everything and nothing.
“What’re you doing here?” Keary asks.
Iska shrugs. “Wandering the world for a break. I didn’t know you were heading north.”
“We’re heading back toward Nyc City,” Keary says.
I almost missed the last of Iska’s spouses. He’s practically a trick of the light. Just a being made entirely of water. What’s cool about these monsters is they’re all kind of exotic. Not your typical merperson or sharkboy.
The person made entirely of water? That’s Henley. He’s a vodyanoy, which is basically a water spirit. An actual spirit. Not just called a soul because they become transparent like me. He’s a fucking spirit!
The sea wolf is Ku. He’s a gunakadeit, an ancient species that is more magic than monster. Then there’s the wife, the serpent-like dragon named Thorne. She’s a bakunawa and a fucking badass.
Alaska is a magical eel, an abaia. And of course, there’s Rylan the kraken and Iskander the nymph.
They’re all vastly different. Crazy strong—except Iska. Nymphs are relatively gentle, harmless creatures, but there’s beauty in nature. The natural order of life.
Evolution created monsters, and then there’s me. Created in a lab by fucking insane people.
Notto’s chuckle has me glancing in his direction.
He’s watching Rainer, who's staring at the Kallans as if he’s seeing ghosts.
I grin, too. Rainer met them all in passing when we visited Base 6 to get his ankle fixed, but they’d been mostly human-shaped with just hints of their monsters hanging out.
I don’t clearly remember the days when monsters were almost always in human skins so they could blend in. By the time I’d been rescued, they’d already closed themselves off from the human world even though they still resided within it.
I was young though, so I don’t remember the details. What I do know is that they’d tried to tell humans what was happening, but half the population decided to be stupid fucks and ignore the signs. Monsters weren’t going to put their necks out to help the humans who refused to help themselves.
They wanted separation, so that’s what they got.
Now, it’s different. Now, monsters are almost always in their natural state which is somewhere between monster and human in appearance. It’s a happy harmony. A beautiful mix of everything they are.
“Feel like a swim break?” Iska asks.
I’m not sure Rainer is interested in swimming. He raises a brow and glances down at how he’s dressed. I don’t think it’s that he’s fully clothed but that he’s wearing a hoodie, pants, and boots. He’s been cold for days.
“I’m going to watch,” I tell them, pointing toward the outcropping of rocks down the bank.
“Same,” Rainer says. He offers me his hand, and together we leave them as Notto and Keary strip down to join the sea monsters in the water.
Like most sea-life, they’re broken down into two groups.
Saltwater and freshwater. With the exception of Iskander, these monsters are all saltwater monsters.
True sea monsters. The others are considered water monsters.
Iskander, like those anomalies in nature, can survive readily in either environment.
“Do you not feel the cold?” Rainer asks. “The wind is icy. I can only imagine what the water feels like.”