Chapter Seven
Ernie
I hadn’t been to a lot of events at Chained, but the ones I went to were all in a separate, multipurpose room.
It even had a divider where it could be made larger for popular activities like their Christmas with Santa.
It was great because if we made messes, and we did make messes, it was easy to clean up.
And from what I saw on the event board, it was used for everything from classes to meetings to private rentals.
When I walked into Chained, I’d expected the stuffie hospital to be set up in the main area. I was surprised to learn that the event was actually in the little room. I didn’t mind; it just caught me off guard.
At first, I didn’t understand why they didn’t stick with what they usually did. Rearranging an entire playroom for a “hospital” felt like a lot of extra work. But as I took each step closer to my destination, I understood the decision.
I was nervous. I was bringing Pup-Pup to see the doctor. Things could go wrong.
And yes, I had medical trauma. I’d be lying to say I didn’t. And I probably wasn’t the only little who did. Not wanting to be in a new environment when role-playing something that had such big feelings attached would be normal.
It took a long time for me to be okay with the fact that everyone who looked at me thought something was slightly off about me physically.
I had to remind myself that I was alive and doing as well as I was, thanks to my surgeries, and that my scars were signs my body had healed.
People weren’t always able to place what it was that had me looking off, but it often made them uncomfortable.
Tonight’s nerves weren’t about me being scared for myself, though. I was nervous for Pup-Pup. What if they didn’t do it right? What if the thread was the wrong color? What if all they could do was put a Band-Aid on it and tell me to deal with it?
So many scenarios were going through my head. It took only two seconds for me to realize I didn’t need to be scared or worried. I was the one in control.
That probably wasn’t true for all the littles. Someone could be full-on scared of doctors, whether they were the patient or not, or terrified of something happening to their “babies.” Having this in a space we could watch for a while, playing in the distance, was genius.
I checked in at the table at the front of the room. The woman gave me a form on a clipboard to fill out with my stuffie’s name on it and why we were at the hospital. I got a little bracelet for Pup-Pup to wear, too, only I put it on as a collar so it wouldn’t fall of.
“If you are really good for the doctor, there will be a treat when you are done.” She pointed to a bucket of suckers.
I didn’t recognize her, but her name tag said Camile, and she was really sweet. Her job was twofold, I was sure, partly getting us ready for the vibe inside, and also to keep out daddies who didn’t belong in this space.
The little room here wasn’t a place for daddies and mommies to pick up littles. It was a place for littles to feel safe. They could bring playmates with them, of course. All the power belonged to us. It was one of the reasons I felt comfortable coming here alone tonight.
I walked inside to discover it had changed a lot in the months since I’d been there.
There were new stations set up, including a chart where you could put veggies and fruits up to make a healthy diet.
They also had a little kitchen area set up there.
But as I looked at the books and saw they were all nurse-and-doctor related, I realized a lot of this was for tonight. Possibly all of it.
They’d gone all out, even made a waiting area for patients with one of those bead boxes for us to play with.
When my name was called, I went up, reminding myself that if I didn’t feel comfortable with what they wanted to do to Pup-Pup, I could leave. There would definitely be someone else who could help, maybe a tailor or someone from a craft show if I looked hard enough.
I’d stepped up to the far table, still looking down at Pup-Pup, when I heard a familiar voice.
“Pup-Pup needs some TLC today?”
I looked up to see Jovan standing there in his white coat, with his stethoscope ready to save the day.
It wasn’t the same stethoscope from back then.
This one was definitely pediatric-oriented with bright colors on the earpieces and wrapped in ribbon of some sort.
It wouldn’t be good for being in a hospital where germs were everywhere, but, for this, it was perfect.
“Yeah, he has a boo-boo.”
“May I see him?” he said. I handed Pup-Pup over, Jovan looked him up and down. “He’s been very well loved.”
I suspected that was code to being misshapen and with some fuzz missing.
“Yes, Doctor. Can you make him better?”
“No, but my friend, Dr. Clark, can. He’s really good at surgeries, and he can fix this little one up in no time. Do you want to tell me how he got hurt?”
“No, Doctor.” It was the very last thing I wanted to do.
“That’s what I thought.” He lowered his voice slightly. “Why didn’t you tell me Zoe hurt Pup-Pup that day in the park?”
I shrugged. “You were so nice. I didn’t want you to feel bad.”
“Well, do me a favor next time, and just tell me. I could’ve had him all taken care of already. Okay?”
I didn’t respond, feeling guilty for how I handled things. It wasn’t like he hadn’t asked me straight up if Pup-Pup was fine.
“Look at me, Ernie.”
Slowly, I lifted my eyes to meet his.
“That’s better. It’s nice to see you, Ernie.”
“Thank you, Dr.”
Clark was probably more of a tailor and less of a doctor by trade, if I were to guess. He knew his way around a needle and thread like a boss. He even fixed some things I didn’t know were wrong, including a seam that was about to give.
“He’s good as new,” he said, handing him back to me. “And do you know what all puppies need?”
“No, Doctor, what do all puppies need?”
He pulled out a small teal crocheted duck. “They need toys.” He handed it to me.
“Did you make this?”
He shook his head.
“Bridger did.” He pointed over to a daddy talking to their little who was wearing pajamas covered in ducks.
“I’ll take good care of it,” I promised and then went to check out the other stations, knowing that there were people waiting for his help.
My original plan was to take care of Pup-Pup, play with any friends I recognized, and then be home before it was too late. Instead, I went from station to station, going through the motions, my eyes always falling back to Jovan.
When a Ms. Lily announced that the doctors were off duty, but that everything else was still going to be running for another half hour, I knew it was now or never. He’d said if anything was wrong, I should tell him, and I was going to test that out.
“Jovan?”
He turned, his smile bright.
“I think I need a doctor today.”
“Oh? Is Pup-Pup hurt?” he asked, squatting down to be at Pup-Pup’s eye level.
“No, Pup-Pup’s fine, but my heart is lonely. Do you want to play with me?”
It was the cheesiest pickup line ever and showed how little I did this.
But he ruffled my hair and asked me what I wanted to play.
We spent most of the time with the cars, something I had loved since childhood, but all too soon, I was yawning.
And Jovan, being the daddy he was, told me it was time to call it a night.
I’d been brave once today, just like he told me I could be with Pup-Pup on my side all those years ago, and I decided to be brave again.
“Do you think maybe we could go on a date sometime?” I braced myself for rejection.
“I’d like that.”
I took the paper I had filled out for Pup-Pup and, with a crayon, wrote my number on the back. “Here.”
The lights flickered, signaling the event was fully over. I’d asked with seconds to spare. Go me.