16. Chapter 16
Chapter sixteen
Galen
Although Galen was worried for Alex and his wellbeing, he needed an opportunity to enter Alex’s apartment. Time was running out to achieve his mission. It had been forty hours since Alex entered his apartment, and since then he’d made no contact with the outside world. As long as Alex’s biometric monitoring remained stable, Galen had been instructed not to enter the apartment by his supervisors, and Alex made it clear he wanted his space.
Galen was dead asleep when someone touched his shoulder. He instinctively grabbed the hand touching him and forced his unknown assailant into an armlock.
“Easy soldier, I’d like to keep my fucking arm,” said Templeton. “There’s an alarm on the Unicorn’s biometric sensor.”
Galen released Templeton’s arm as he looked at the clock. 12:57 a.m.? How the hell was this my problem? “What the hell, mate? Not mah concern in the middle of the night.”
Templeton replied Galen was crazy if he thought he would be going into Dr. Lieth ’s apartment. He said he hadn’t met the Unicorn yet, and didn’t want to barge into a god’s abode unannounced in the middle of the night. Galen replied the Unicorn wouldn’t bite unless provoked and asserted Templeton was just afraid to be in a gay bloke’s apartment. Templeton stated Galen’s accusation was absurd––it just didn’t feel right since he was a stranger to Dr. Lieth.
“Ya want me to do yur dirty work,” said Galen.
“No, well… maybe. You spend all day with him, so you know him. Please, I’ll buy you Bruins tickets. You always said you wanted to check out a hockey game.”
Galen considered Templeton’s offer. This was Galen’s first opportunity to enter the apartment. He didn’t know if he’d get another chance, so had to take it without being too obvious.
“Shite, ya owe me tickets to two Bruins games plus a case of stubbies.”
Templeton nodded, agreeing to the arrangement.
Before entering the hall, Galen checked the video monitors to ensure there were no threats. He crossed the threshold to Alex’s apartment, taking his 9mm Ruger from its holster by the door. He knocked on the door firmly, with three consecutive knocks. Waiting impatiently, Alex didn’t answer the door.
Shit, shoulda asked for two cases of stubbies.
Galen drew his Ruger to his line of sight with his right hand and turned the doorknob with his left. He carefully opened the door, looking to identify any threats. Having opened the door fully, he lowered his handgun after determining Alex was sitting on the floor in the darkness of his apartment, clutching Danyal’s pillow to his chest. Only the light from the streetlamp dimly illuminated the room. Galen recognized the look of despair on Alex’s face. Danyal had only been gone two days, but Galen could see Alex was drowning in grief.
Placing his Ruger on the dresser by the bathroom door, Galen spoke softly so as not to alarm Alex. “Sorry to bother ya so late, mate. Needed to verify that ya are OK. Yu’re not wearing yur watch. The biometric alarm triggered.”
Alex didn’t respond. Galen walked over to Alex and sat on the floor next to him, leaning up against the wall by the window. He’d seen such despair in his own life and recognized the paralyzing grip of grief. Galen knew grief was a primal emotion that destroyed even the strongest souls. The closer the relationship and the more intense the love, the stronger it became.
Galen sat quietly before softly saying, “Ya know, grief is like the ocean. Sometimes, the ocean is hectic and rough. Other times, the sea is calm. Ya can’t hope to control a force like the ocean and grief. Grief will control ya, mate. The secret is to ride out the rougher seas to get to the calmer moments. There can be rogue waves that turn yur life upside down—part of the process. Ya learn to live with it and ride it out to the calmer moments.”
“Who did you lose?” Alex whispered without raising his head.
“Mah twin sister Amara. Thought grief and anger were going to destroy me. Nearly did. Survived by grabbing a lifeline and riding out the rough waters. Ya live one second at a time, one hour at a time, or one day at a time. Ya do whatever ya need to find a purpose to survive. Ya have a warrior’s fire in yur soul. Ya will survive.”
“I don’t feel like a warrior. I feel like I’m in hell. How did my life disintegrate so quickly? How did our happiness evaporate? When will the anguish end? Ditta warned me eternity would be a lonely existence.”
“Ya don’t recognize all the strength ya have,” said Galen.
“You’re in the minority opinion if you think I’m strong,” Alex said through his tears. “In the past week, I’ve been called a coward, a monster, a cosmic mistake, and mentally unstable.”
“They can all bugger off. Don’t mind what people have to say. For what it’s worth, I admire how ya refuse to let expectations define yurself. Wish I had that strength. Maybe life would have turned out different.”
Galen didn’t believe Alex was a coward and a monster. Yes, he fled from Wynn and Egypt, but any scared young gay bloke in his situation would have done the same—simple fight or flight. Alex chose flight and couldn’t go back and change it.
“Wynn’s dumping heaps of his anger onto ya. Ya can see the suffering in his eyes. Seen it on the battlefield. Shell shock, battle fatigue, or post-traumatic stress disorder…ya can’t fight Wynn’s demons for him. What happened to him was horrific, but none of his suffering happened by yur hand.”
Galen could see Wynn wanted Alex to save him, because he loved Alex. No amount of anger and guilt would change the past. What could Alex have done to save Wynn? It’d taken PGC months to secure his freedom. Would suffering with Wynn in prison have changed anything? No.
“Ya can either learn from experience or keep making the same mistakes. Ya make the choice.”
“I’m still a cosmic mistake,” said Alex.
A cosmic mistake? The thought was hilarious to Galen. The universe had chosen Alex as the god of love, rebirth, and prosperity. He couldn’t have a higher purpose than that. “Ya have been a god for a few weeks, mate; give yourself a break. Ya will adjust, and ya will learn the rules. When ya do, ya will be unstoppable. It’s yur game; own it.”
Was Alex mentally unstable? Galen had seen too many stressful and traumatic situations in his life. Alex was holding up better than most, given the circumstances. “Yur mental health is fine. Stop listening to those wankers. My military buddy Andrea has a crude way of putting it––unless they’re feeding ya, fuckin’ ya, or financing ya, they don’t get an opinion on yur life.”
Alex softly chuckled. He paused before saying, “It’s my fault Danyal is missing,” before crying into Danyal’s pillow once more. “We argued the night he was kidnapped. The last thing I said to him was that I was tired of him controlling who I could be around and that I needed space to breathe. He was so angry when he left. What if those were the last words I ever said to him?”
“Danyal is missing because a terrorist group kidnapped him. Not yur fault. He loves ya. Every couple has issues.” Galen deeply respected Alex for owning who he was and who he loved. “Hold onto the hope that ya get him back, Alex. Depend on Hoko to help ya access your god mojo. Ryo will help ya investigate the facts. Ya and Hoko can develop yur abilities to help find Danyal.”
“There are times when I’m holding his pillow, I feel like I can sense Danyal near me. At other times, I see shadows or glimpses of energy of his image moving around the apartment, lying in bed beside me, or taking a shower. They’re brief, but I see them like ghosts taunting me. Am I going crazy, Galen?”
“Yu’re not going crazy, Alex. That’s grief.”
Alex instinctively laid his head onto Galen’s bare shoulder. Galen recognized Alex’s vulnerability and voluntarily allowed Alex access to his energy. The brief exchange of energy gave Alex the spark to escape his despair. Alex pulled his head back as if he’d been shocked by electricity.
“No worries, Alex. Ya can leave yur head on my shoulder if it helps. Yu’re not going to hurt me. Can withdraw mah consent at any time. My gut said ya needed human touch.”
Alex asked how Galen got so wise. Alex said in his life, basic touch and connection with men––especially outside of sexual situations––was taboo. Growing up with no parents and a distant provider in Ditta, he only had physical contact with male friends at boarding school when he was fighting his bullies or wrestling. He added he used to go to practice early to watch the older boys change, and that he wanted to be one of them. Alex relayed he used to stay late for more coaching to be close to another human body; not in a sexual way, but rather acknowledgment or validation he existed.
“Glad mah shoulder helped ya. Understand locker room behavior and touch in sports. Rugby allows ya to take out yur aggression physically. Be part of a team and build self-worth. Rugby players also engage in a lot of behavior that looks ‘gay.’ The naked rugby calendars were money-makers for the league. It’s OK if they act gay in the locker room as long as they say, ‘No, homo bro.’”
Alex laughed. “So, are you in a naked rugby calendar?” asked Alex.
“Plead the fifth. Conversation is getting uncomfortable. Shoulder is close to being revoked.”
“You know you did walk into my apartment wearing basketball shorts, which are basically gay lingerie,” Alex said, laughing. “I’m sorry; I’ll stop teasing you. It’s not appropriate.”
Galen squirmed for a moment.
“Galen, could we sit here for a few more minutes? These have been the most peaceful moments I’ve had in weeks.”
Galen nodded yes.
“Thanks again. You’ve been a lifesaver that walked me back from the edge of self-destruction.”
“Doing mah job, Alex.”
“And by the way,” Alex said as he yawned, “don’t think I didn’t notice this was the first conversation you called me Alex.”
“Mate, felt right in the moment. Will make sure it doesn’t happen again. Won’t cross that line.”
“Nonsense,” said Alex. “It’s a requirement, not a request. Besides, if you keep my secrets, I keep yours––such as naked rugby calendars. Quid pro quo.” Alex attempted a nefarious laugh.
“Made a deal with the devil…” said Galen, shaking his head.
“Not the devil, the Master of Eros,” said Alex.
Alex closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep on Galen’s shoulder. Galen waited a few minutes to ensure Alex was soundly asleep before picking him up and gently placing him on the bed, with Danyal’s pillow supporting his head. Hopefully, Alex would have his first night of good sleep in weeks tonight. Galen quietly stood and cautiously walked over to the dresser to retrieve his weapon. After placing surgical gloves on his hands, he carefully rummaged through each drawer, not stopping until he found the box of birthday chocolates. He opened the box and removed the one piece of chocolate that remained. He carefully placed the chocolate in a small plastic bag he’d pulled from his shorts pocket.
After walking to the door, he pulled his private cell out of his pocket and sent a text: Sample obtained. Galen anxiously watched his phone for a response.
Deliver the sample tonight to 756 Highland Drive at once. Maintain communication silence until further instructions were the messages he received back.
Galen took an uneasy deep breath and quietly left Alex’s apartment to return to the security suite, where Templeton asked if everything was OK. Galen stated the Unicorn had a mare but was better now. He told Templeton he owed him hockey tickets and two cases of stubbies. Templeton protested that his demands were highway robbery, but Galen insisted that if Templeton was unwilling to put skin in the game, he needed to stay on the sidelines. With that, Galen entered his room and closed the door behind him. He sat in the chair in the corner of his room, staring at the solitary piece of chocolate in the plastic bag he’d placed on the corner of his bed while he dressed. Walking back out to leave, he told Templeton he needed some air.
Galen sat in the Uros outside the all-night pawn shop at 756 Highland Drive, while he placed the chocolate in a white envelope. As he turned the engine off, his mind raced. Was he doing the right thing? Would Alex ever forgive him? Would he lose his job? Would they hold up their end of the bargain? It was the thought of betraying Alex that pained him the most. He hadn’t felt as alive in years as he had in his brief time spent with him. He didn’t take his betrayal lightly. Alex didn’t need the chocolate. Galen had to act––otherwise, Amara would be doomed. He prayed Alex would never find out, and that Amara could be saved.
Galen took a deep breath and exited the warmth of the Uros. Walking into the pawnshop, the smell of cigarette smoke nearly knocked him over. The slightly built, balding older man at the counter turned toward Galen.
“Can I help you, young man?”
“Got a delivery, mate,” said Galen as he laid the envelope on the counter.
The older man nodded and picked up the envelope. “Thank you for the delivery, son. It’s a rather cold night for you to brave the weather. This must be important.”
“It is,” said Galen. “Let them know done mah part. Expect that they hold up their end of the bargain.”
“No need to worry. The Sons of Enyaluis always pay what’s owed. They’ll be in touch.”
Galen turned and quickly left the pawnshop. Upon entering the Uros, he repeatedly punched the steering wheel until he had bruised his knuckles. He was so focused on helping Amara that he never stopped to consider the motivations of those he’d aligned himself with. Until now, he didn’t care. His stomach churned and his head pounded.
FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!
If Alex found out, he’d never forgive Galen for helping the terrorists who had kidnapped Danyal.