23. Lazarus
Lazarus
I do not know when or why I decided to make it my personal mission to educate Honey on the ways of the outside world. But I do know that, in equal measure, I regret and rejoice in the new information sharing which will take place.
Honey may never become a strong omega. Revenant may find her a pack that allows her soft and sweet nature to flourish.
But if she finds herself with a less accommodating pack, she will need to be her own advocate.
Practicing her skills on Phoenix and Zephyr is perhaps too much too soon, but they’ve already caused her distress, emotionally and potentially physically.
If I asked how she hurt and what they did to her, would I want to know the truth?
My cock throbs. I would, and it would not be just for knowledge on how to care for her.
“I don’t understand.” Honey’s voice is practically inaudible when I close the door to the apartment behind us. Her voice grows a little louder when I turn back to look at her. “How am I to determine what is acceptable for amends from an alpha? Alphas do not owe omegas apologies.”
My shadow pulls to her. Every second I am not minding him, he’s wrapping around her.
“Put aside the tome, the teaching of the apostles, and your own shame.” I try to speak slowly and allow her to process like I do with the twins. She nods ever so slightly. “Did you want to participate with them in their ruts?”
Honey is silent. Her teeth pull in her bottom lip, and she chews on it.
My shadow slithers, curling its way up around her legs. It looks so good on her, but I draw it back. Then I coach her to think carefully. “Do not believe that I will judge any answer you provide. This is about you and your body.”
My heart is hammering in its cavity, wishing for an answer, but I cannot pinpoint why. It is not as if her agreement to wanting the twins during their rut has anything to do with me. She is half my age. I am not of substantial material to be worthy of a pack with an omega as sweet as she is.
“It’s wrong of me.” Honey hangs her head, her beautiful brown hair falling forward, hiding her face. “But if it weren’t for the tome, the teachings, and the guilt of sinning, I would very much enjoy being with Phoenix and Zephyr but . . .”
My shadow changes shape, abandoning the serpent for the behemoth-sized dog instead. It walks on silent feet over to her, sitting with his head on her shoulder.
I wait for her to finish her thought. When silence fills the room for too many heartbeats, I prompt her. “But?”
“But this last time was different from what I had experienced during my heat with them. They were not the same.” She pushes her hair out of her face and looks up at me slightly. “Is this bad?”
“No.” I straighten my spine and call my shadow back to me once more. “It is not bad.”
“Why does it feel so bad?” Honey is practically wringing the hem of her borrowed shirt.
“We were taught that the joining between alpha and omega is to be of the highest order. You have just learned that it is of a baser instinct. Your ability to rectify those two extremes will determine the way in which you carry on through life.” It pains me to do so, but I fight giving her a soft smile.
“Oh.” She draws a slow breath, her shoulders rising and falling with it.
“To answer your earlier question, asking for amends can be simply asking them to do better the next time. It can also be asking them to not do something at all.” Rogue dark thoughts pass through my mind — taking her to my sleeping quarters, showing her how they should have pleased her before ever getting their cocks close to her slick center.
Turning toward my quarters without another word, I leave her alone in the living room. If I opened my mouth, the offer to do something unholy would surely escape.
Temptation calls to me from each of her curves, and it is a path I’d do best not to follow.