28. Honey
Honey
The food smells so delicious. There are two boxes of pizza, three things of different pastas with sauce and toppings, and a bag from a restaurant with all sorts of unique foods. Some I vaguely remember from my childhood.
Phoenix is determined to get me caught up on all things ‘this century,’ as he calls it. I tried to explain that I was with the House of Apostles for only nine years, but evidently, that is ‘forever.’
Zephyr opens the door to the apartment in front of us, and immediately his shadow goes from behaving like a usual one, pooling on the floor, bending to the will of the light, to the shape of some sort of four-legged animal.
Its legs seem impossibly long for its body, but it moves gracefully, taking bags of food from his hand before becoming more shapeless and pushing things aside on the coffee table.
“You seem so interested in the shadows.” Phoenix presses against the middle of my back as he encourages me to enter the apartment.
I cross the threshold with his guidance and step out of the way so he can bring in the bags of clothing that they purchased for me.
“It’s like every time they move, it’s the first time you’re seeing it happen. It’s cute.”
“It’s just not done where I’m from.” I try to choose my words carefully. This is their world, not mine. I walk past where they hang their coats and slip off my new shoes. “Alphas have shadows, but they’re not supposed to be used so freely. Only in certain situations.”
“Situations like what?” Zephyr calls from the kitchen, where he’s pulling plates from the cabinet. Behind him, his shadow is plucking silverware from the drawer. He moves so fast when he’s hungry.
Certain situations to keep omegas in line. I close my eyes against the memories of Mom being held down by a shadow while the alpha struck her.
“It was for bad things, wasn’t it?” Phoenix says softly.
I open my eyes to find him standing in front of me. Darkness dances around us and trails across his fingers when he pushes my hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear.
I swallow hard and give just one nod, hoping it’s enough.
“Shadows are meant to protect omegas. Not to hurt them. Mom and Dads would be more than just disappointed, like we’d be officially disowned, if we ever hurt an omega with our shadow.” Phoenix reassures me.
His shadow stops encompassing us and pulls itself together into the shape of a large bird, perching on his shoulder.
It makes me smile seeing it.
“She likes the falcon.” He looks to Zephyr, who has come back to the living room with the plates and cutlery.
He deposits them on the table.
Immediately, Zephyr’s shadow turns into a falcon and sits on top of his head.
I can’t help but giggle at the sight of this bird adjusting its wings and settling in. “I like the dog thing too.”
“Maned wolf, it’s not a dog or a wolf or a fox. Kinda its own thing.” Zephyr explains and extends his hand toward me, bringing me to the sofa.
I sit in the middle seat, and each twin takes a side, filling up the couch. It’s lovely to be so close to both of them, but I don’t miss the fact that there were other seating options for them to take. Is it because they like sitting with me?
“And all alphas have two shapes?” I rest my hands in my lap, but my stomach feels like it’s eating itself. I want to open the food boxes before us, but I wait for the alphas to get food first, like I’ve been taught.
“Kinda, there are some alphas who only have one, and then there are alphas where their shift shape is completely dependent on their omega. So they don’t get a set shape until they’ve claimed an omega.” Phoenix explains.
His shadow is opening boxes of food and helping him pull lids off things. They make this whole big spread across the table, and my mouth is watering at the prospect of warm food.
“The alphas were not allowed to shift, not unless they were training for an attack. And even then, the training was done where omegas couldn’t see it.” I don’t know why I’m telling them these things, but it seems like a good way to fit in, to offer them some bits of myself.
“Why?” Zephyr picks up a plate and puts it in my hand. “I recommend the spicy chicken macaroni and cheese with the pepperoni pizza to start with.”
“Why did they not show the omegas the shadows?” I hesitantly look at my plate and then the food before reaching for a slice of pepperoni pizza.
“Yeah, that seems like a weird thing to keep secret.” Phoenix dishes some of the macaroni and cheese onto my plate.
My face heats, and I must be bright red as it overtakes my skin. An alpha caring for me when I’m not amidst my impure time? Unheard of. If anything, I should be serving them, but they’re hardly waiting for me to do so.
Zephyr has a slice of pizza hanging by the crust out of his mouth while he spoons a long-shaped pasta with a white sauce onto his plate, which is guarded close to his center as he scoops things quickly.
“They believe omegas are too soft for shadows. That exposing omegas to a shifted alpha will cause her disobedience and to turn from the Lord. Shadows in their entirety are forbidden for omegas, at least until they’re mated to an alpha, and even then, the exposure to them was supposed to be only for medicinal purposes.
” It sounds so strange saying it out loud.
But is it wrong? I’ve been here only a week, and I’ve already done so much sinning.
Is it because of their shadows, or because I am a sinner?
The weight of those thoughts dampens my appetite like a rock has settled in my stomach.
“Okay, enough talking about things that make Honey sad. I’m sorry, Honey.
We shouldn’t be pumping you for information.
You’re here now, and we want you to stay with us, and we’ll show you everything.
” Zephyr’s shadow leaves its perch on his head and hops from his shoulder to mine.
It nuzzles into my hair, ruffling it a little bit.
When I smile, it stops and pulls away.
“We don’t mean to overstep; it’s just that Laz never talks about what his life was like before the club. All we know is that there is one god, and that’s hard enough to wrap our brains around.” Phoenix talks despite taking a bite of pizza mid-sentence.
“Ew, dude, chew, swallow, talk.” Zephyr scolds him, throwing a pile of napkins in his direction. “I’m the one who didn’t have real food for months while locked up, and you’re acting like it’s your first day eating.”
What does that mean? Locked up? Not real food? I look at him, but he seems in good health. I know it is rude to ask questions about someone’s life like that, so I continue the conversation we’re having. “How many gods do you have?”
“Our family believes in nine major gods, but there are over a thousand different deities,” Zephyr answers.
That’s so many to have to remember. I wonder how they do it. Then again, we have all the saints to remember. Maybe it is more similar than the apostles led us to believe.
I finally take a bite of my pizza. The warm cheese and bread, tomato sauce, and spicy pepperoni have my mouth exploding with flavor. This, I can’t believe I had forgotten. It’s amazing. I close my eyes and savor the bite.
When I open my eyes, both Zephyr and Phoenix are looking at me with wide eyes.
“What?” I sit back on the couch, trying to give myself distance from them.
“The only time you’ve ever made that noise was during your heat, and we—” Phoenix licks his lips and looks at Zephyr, who nods, before turning back to me. “We’d love to hear more of it. Happy Honey noises are our favorite.”
I take another small bite and try to note the noise I’m making.
“Shit, we made her self-conscious.” Zephyr sits back, slouching so we’re sitting shoulder to shoulder.
Phoenix nestles in on the other side. “In case you haven’t figured it out, we really like you. Please don’t be worried about what we think about you.”
Sandwiched between the two of them, I’m comfortable. Even if I would have been locked in sequestering for what I’m doing with them right now, I don’t regret the way we’re sharing this meal.
“Yeah, mmhm.” Zephyr sounds like he’s talking to someone, but I’m only hearing half the conversation. “I’ll be right down. No, you’re right.” Zephyr is appeasing whoever must be on the phone, biting back some emotion with clipped words. “I shouldn’t be slacking. It’ll get taken care of.”
I pull open my bedroom door and find him holding his phone against his ear with his shoulder while he does a dance to pull his jeans up past his muscular thighs and butt.
The way his undergarments cling to his body reminds me of his sex organ. When I remember the taste of it in my mouth, my body reacts, moisture pooling between my legs, as if it’s ready to sin again.
I step out of my bedroom and close the door behind me. I draw a steadying breath before turning to face him.
“Hey, Honey, go back to bed. I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispers, wincing as if he’s pained himself or me.
His insistent tone has me reaching back for my doorknob, but not once have I been punished here for disobeying or asking questions, so I push my luck. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, there’s some work to be done in the garage. It’s not a big deal.” He brushes off my question, but the way he won’t look at me feels familiar, like when I can’t look at him.
“Can I come with you? I can’t sleep, and jobs are more fun with friends.” I offer with a soft smile.
I don’t know why I assume my presence will help, but it worked with other omegas at House of Apostles. Awful jobs like scrubbing the food hall with the tiny scrubbers they gave us were always easier with another person, even if they couldn’t help.
A second ticks past, and I smile a bit wider, hoping to convince him.
“I mean.” Zephyr looks me over, furrowing his brow, but after a second, he nods. “Put on pants, and I’ll get you a long-sleeved shirt that’ll cover more skin.”
I go back into my bedroom, and within a few minutes, he knocks and passes me a shirt through the opening when he cracks the door open.