30. Honey
Honey
Lazarus’s words hung heavy on me throughout the evening.
All I could do was think about what he said. No matter how much I wanted to sleep, all my thoughts were on the decision Lazarus wants me to make.
We ate, the four of us together, almost like a pack.
Zephyr and Phoenix did most of the talking, telling me about their childhood and jobs around the motorcycle club.
Then Zephyr and Phoenix showed me another new movie on the television until bedtime.
Lazarus wandered in and out from his bedroom to the living room and kitchen, sometimes staying to watch fifteen minutes or so of the movie before wandering off again.
It’s been interesting having my own room, tucked away from the twins and having space for myself. I haven’t had a space to myself, aside from the sequestering rooms, in years. First, it was shared with Momma, and after she passed, then it was with other omegas.
As luxurious as this feels, I hate being alone. Every night, I toss and turn for an hour or longer only to fall into restless sleep.
Tonight, something woke me, a noise maybe. I lie still, waiting to hear it again, but it never comes. Now for fifteen minutes I’ve lain here and can’t fall back asleep.
Why does Lazarus want me to leave so badly? Why does he think the twins are not ready for an omega? Or is it because he doesn’t think I am the right omega for them? Who decides which omegas go with which alphas in the outside world?
I draw a deep breath and get out of bed. It’s still too early to be up. The sun isn’t even starting to rise.
Gently, I pull open my bedroom door and hear talking. Tiptoeing through the living area, I follow the sound past the front door toward the hallway, which leads to Lazarus’s room.
His door is closed, but the mumbling of incoherent words and low groans tell me that it’s not a conversation. It’s some sort of dream that’s trapped him. I listen for a bit, trying to understand what he’s saying. The words are spoken too sleepily to be understood.
I sneak backward away from his door, back down the hallway to the living room.
I’m shivering, and I wrap my arms around myself to try and stay warm while I go back to my bedroom for a blanket to cover myself with on the sofa.
But as I walk to my room, Phoenix’s door is open.
With the moonlight streaming through the window, I can see that his bed is empty.
Enthralled, I walk closer to the open door, and Phoenix’s sweet cherry scent is so strong. I don’t have to work to drag the luxurious scent into my lungs.
Did they both leave?
A part of me wants them to be here to comfort me, and yet logically, another part wants them to stay far away so I can’t sin again. If Phoenix is gone, then would Zephyr be gone too? Would they have told me that they’re leaving? With Lazarus home, maybe not.
Curiosity has me moving as silently as I can to the next room.
But the other bed, Zephyr’s, is occupied. And, it’s full. The two of them are curled up. Their shadows blanketed around them.
I shouldn’t be doing this. I should go back to bed.
I’m exhausted. They look so warm and cozy.
It looks like the most perfect little nest. I take another step toward them. The bed isn’t all that big, but there is kinda enough room for an omega. Maybe.
I wake the shadows as I come into the room, and Zephyr and Phoenix both pop a single eye open to look at me.
“May I?”
Zephyr holds out his arm, and Phoenix pulls back the blanket.
“Everything okay, sweetness?” Zephyr whispers as I settle into the little space between them.
Phoenix nuzzles his head against mine, and Zephyr rests his on the top of mine. We’re like stacked little skulls in a row.
“I just couldn’t sleep. Lazarus must be having a bad dream and woke me up.” I yawn, the effects of being so warm and comfortable taking over me.
“Lazarus has bad dreams sometimes.” Phoenix interlaces our fingers.
Zephyr’s shadow pulls the blankets back up over the top of the three of us before lying down on top of me.
I wasn’t tired before, but cocooned up with them, I fall asleep without issue.