Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
‘You didn’t get home till late,’ said Kate, turning to look at Dan as he entered the kitchen the next morning.
This was one of the drawbacks of moving back into the family home, he thought. It was fine when he didn’t have to hide anything from his mother, but when he did? He found it easier to avoid her.
‘Um, no, I went straight into the city for the evening. Thought I’d catch up with some mates.’ Not a lie exactly.
Kate nodded and filled up the teapot with boiling water. ‘Fancy a cup?’
He shook his head. ‘No thanks, I’ve got a meeting in town this morning. That interview I told you about.’
‘Thought you must have,’ said Kate, looking him up and down approvingly. ‘Not often I get to see you wearing a suit.’
‘Yeah. Hopefully it’ll only be for the interview. They texted me yesterday about it.’
‘That’s great.’ She turned around, leaned against the counter and crossed her arms. Dan could tell she thought he was hiding something. He looked away. Not much got past his mother. ‘So, did you enjoy your bike ride with Augi?’
‘Er, yeah, it’s a good ride… through the park.’
‘Mmm.’
He could feel her eyes on him. ‘Anyway, I’d best be off.’ He grabbed a piece of toast from the table. ‘Thanks, Mum. I’ll see you later.’
‘Right-oh.’ She had clearly decided not to give him the third degree. He was thankful for small mercies. ‘Good luck with the job,’ she added.
‘Thanks.’
The door clunked shut behind him.
Wellington had put on a spectacular day — both weather-wise, with the sky and harbour a brilliant calm blue, and meeting-wise.
He couldn’t have asked for a better interview.
His work experience had got him the interview and his ability to get on with people had secured it for him.
In the end, he’d felt like he was interviewing them.
It seemed Lucy had been right. He didn’t have to worry. The consultancy agency welcomed him with open arms and had an eye on a specific case for him to work on. They just had to finalise the details. The case interested him very much.
He’d been bridging the gap between government and large private organisations all his working life. The difference was that now he wouldn’t be working for private industry. No, now he’d be working for the good guys. Everyone.
If he hadn’t felt so lousy after his argument with Augi, he’d have been on top of the world. But, as it was, the achievement was tinged with a hollow feeling.
It was only on his drive back north to MacLeod’s Cove that the emotional turmoil he’d managed to blot out during the interview returned.
Just the memory of Augi’s face — one moment open and emotional, the next closed to him — drove pain into his heart. He knew his feelings for her were quite different to his ex, and he equally knew that the idea of a woman keeping secrets set off a loud, clanging warning bell deep inside him.
By the time he arrived at MacLeod’s Cottage he felt defeated. He sat for a moment, his head in his hands, going over the words they’d fired at each other. It was ridiculous. He felt so much for her, and he was pretty sure her feelings for him were strong. If only she’d allow herself to admit them.
Suddenly there was a bang on his car door. He looked up to see Lucy staring at him.
‘What are you doing?’ she called out, her voice muffled.
He sighed, picked up his phone and got out of the car. ‘Hey,’ he said.
‘Well? What were you doing?’
‘About to come inside. What were you doing?’
‘Trying to figure out what had happened to my stupid brother to make him put his head in his hands and sit in a stationary car.’
He walked around the car, determined not to answer.
‘Hey, Dan! What happened?’ said Lucy, running to follow him up the garden path.
‘Nothing to concern you.’
‘It concerned you, so it concerns me.’
He swore under his breath. Why did he ever think coming home would be easy? He continued up the path and opened the door and entered MacLeod’s Cottage.
‘Hey, Mum!’ he called out.
‘I’m in here,’ Kate replied.
Dan followed Kate’s voice into the Drawing Room. He opened the door to see she was at his father’s desk. Until recently, Jen had taken it over as her writing desk, but now she’d moved into Sam’s house it looked like Kate had taken it over.
‘You don’t usually come in here,’ said Lucy who had followed him inside. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Can’t I come into a room in my own house — although, of course, I use that term loosely — without being interrogated?’
‘You see, Lucy?’ said Dan, feeling vindicated. ‘Being a member of the family does not give you the right to know everything about family members’ business.’
‘What’s the matter, Daniel?’ asked Kate.
He sighed. ‘Don’t you start.’
Lucy stood, hands on hips. ‘I found him sitting outside in the car with his head in his hands.’
‘No!’ Kate came over and put her arm around him. ‘Daniel. Did something happen this afternoon?’
‘Yes,’ he said, moving toward the door, determined to grab a beer from the kitchen and go outside into the deck. He hoped they’d get the hint and not follow him out. ‘I got a job.’
‘You got a job!’ Lucy and Kate said in unison.
‘Yes,’ he said, halfway out the door. ‘I got a job.’
He strode out into the hallway, aware he was being followed, but a beer was his only focus now.
He yanked the fridge door open, fumbled around and grabbed a bottle.
By the time he’d twisted the cap off, he’d lost his escape route.
The kitchen bench blocked him on one side and the two women in front of him, confusion and concern vying for ascendancy on their faces, cut him off on the other.
He shook his head and took a swig of his beer.
‘Tell us about this job, and why it’s upset you.’ said Kate.
‘Excuse me,’ he said, pointing to the space between them. Lucy stood her ground, but Kate moved to one side. He went and yanked open the door to the verandah and took a deep breath.
‘Daniel,’ said Kate softly. He looked around to find Lucy had disappeared; no doubt Kate had made her leave. He heard the front door bang loudly. She was clearly frustrated to have been given her marching orders. ‘Won’t you tell me what’s troubling you?’
He could resist many things, but not his mother, who always placed her children’s concerns above her own. He perched on the back of a chair, while his mother stood in the doorway, framed by the light. He glanced out at the sand dunes and took a steadying breath before looking back at her.
‘It’s not the job, Mum. That’s great. It’s actually going to be really great.’
‘Tell me about it.’ She leaned against the door jamb, as if unwilling to break the moment by making herself comfortable.
‘It’s doing what I’ve been doing before. Using the same skills, but I won’t be selling my soul to do it. I’ll actually be making a difference.’
Her face lightened. ‘That sounds wonderful. And it means you’ll be staying. Doubly wonderful.’
He smiled. If all else failed in his world, he knew he could rely on his family. Even if they could be super annoying.
‘So…’ she said, her voice back to gentle again. ‘What else happened to dampen your mood?’
He shrugged and looked back out into the darkness, away from his mother who could extract any information from anyone.
‘Is it Augi?’
He continued to look out to sea, allowing her name to linger in the air between them.
‘Have you fallen out with her?’
He huffed a laugh. It seemed such a juvenile description of what had happened. As if they were school children who’d had a silly tiff.
‘She’s from a different world, Daniel. She’s had different experiences which, whatever they were, were painful. It complicates things.’
He closed his eyes against the darkness. ‘You’re right there.’
He heard her come and sit down in her usual chair, the creak of the cane. He opened his eyes to find her sitting in front of him, plucking the shawl off the back of a chair and wrapping it around her shoulders.
‘Do you want to tell me?’
‘I hardly know what to say.’
‘Say the first thing that comes into your head, and we’ll take it from there.’
‘She’s angry with me.’
‘Augi is angry with you?’ said Kate, surprised. ‘In all the years she’s been living down the road from me, working in the library, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her angry. Not with anyone.’
‘Yes, well. She was angry with me.’
Kate looked at him suddenly. ‘Maybe you’ve got it wrong. Maybe she’s angry with herself.’
Dan frowned at the beer bottle he dangled in his hands. Could she be? He looked up at Kate. ‘I don’t know, Mum. I really don’t know.’
‘If you want to, tell me what the argument was about.’
‘She made a point of telling me that she had secrets, as if she knew that it would put me off her. Well, she was right. I’ve always hated secrets, especially after Washington. Work-wise and personally, I’ve got taken for a ride too many times by trusting people I shouldn’t have.’
‘You were always like that growing up. Naive, trusting.’
‘Yeah, well, I’ve learned my lesson now. So well that I can’t seem to trust anyone.’
She leaned forward. ‘Tell me, Daniel, what would it take to make you trust in someone?’
‘Easy. No secrets.’
‘But even if someone didn’t have any secrets, it still doesn’t mean to say you can trust them.’
He looked at her blankly.
‘I mean, say you’re with a woman, it’s going well, you know each other’s lives well, and so you trust her.
There’s nothing in her past or present to say she’ll betray you in any way, and yet she could.
Because it’s not the transparency which enables you to trust her, it should be her, herself. Her personality, her integrity.’
‘That’s what Augustini said.’
‘Ah, and how did you respond?’
‘That I can’t trust someone who keeps secrets from me.’
‘Maybe she feels as if she doesn’t have any choice. Maybe you need to simply know her better, not her secrets, but get to know her better. Then the trust will come. Because I’ll lay everything I own — not that it’s much — on the fact you can trust Augi Markos one hundred percent.’
‘Even with her secrets?’
‘Especially with her secrets. As I say, she’s probably angry with herself that she’s still keeping them.
I assume they’re connected with her background.
They’re not connected with her life here, or with you.
My advice, Daniel, is slow things down, get to know her, and don’t dismiss her simply because she’s holding onto some secrets.
I kind of think that it’s her who has the trust issues that she’s struggling with.
Just go easy on her. I suspect she’s been through a lot. ’
Dan took another sip of his beer. It tasted just a little less bitter.