Chapter 21
Hannah checked her watch, then double-checked with the large clock on the wall, hands ticking within their tinsel-decked surround. It was almost ten o’clock, and yet nobody else seemed remotely prepared to move.
Nathan had more toast and was ladling on as much chocolate spread as was humanly possible.
She supposed it made sense to allow him to fill up in the ship’s restaurant.
But she glanced at Millie, wondering why the girl was biting the edge of her lip as she stared at the restaurant entrance, while Ruth cradled the very end of a cup of coffee, as though her mission in life was to make it last as long as possible.
‘Has everybody got everything they need to take on shore?’ Hannah asked.
Ruth smiled, patting a rucksack beside her on the bench seating. ‘Got everything Mils and I need. Nathan, did you bring all your stuff?’
A muffled, chocolate-spread-laden reply seemed to indicate a positive response.
For want of knowing what else to do while she waited, Hannah unzipped her own cross-body bag, which nestled beside her, and checked the contents.
Her bikini, particularly racy and chosen with honeymoon vibes in mind, nestled alongside sun cream, a small towel and a guidebook for the area.
She was fastening the bag when Millie stiffened in her seat, suddenly alert. Hannah glanced up, then frowned.
Louis, dressed casually in a grey T-shirt and chino shorts, adjusted the backpack slung over a shoulder as he headed across the restaurant space, looking around before his gaze settled on their table, on her.
He smiled, broad and bright, before he shut down the expression, exchanging it for an expression of uncertainty.
Ruth stood abruptly, greeting Louis before turning to the table.
‘Right, kids. Time’s a ticking. We’ll clear these plates, and we’ll see you in the foyer in a minute, Hannah. OK?’ She hustled her children away, Nathan shoving the remnants of his chocolatey toast into his mouth as he swept the empty sachets onto his plate and shuffled off.
Louis stayed put, impossibly tall from where Hannah was seated and far enough from the table to reinforce his obvious uncertainty.
‘I know it’s a bit last minute,’ he said, ‘And I know we didn’t actually make any firm plans for St Maarten, but I’ve got some time, and I thought… I wondered if…’
Louis did his best to hide his nerves by standing tall and pretending he didn’t care if her reply was negative.
The seconds that lapsed before Hannah replied seemed to stretch in a way he remembered it doing when he was negotiating the start line-up for a boat race, back when seconds mattered, when every move to bring the boat as close to the start line as possible before the hooter blew could make the difference between a flying start and playing catch-up the whole race.
It was like the wait he’d endured before he discovered he’d been accepted as temporary captain of the Ballygowan.
The knot in the base of his belly felt the same as it had in those circumstances.
Times where, regardless of how much he tried to brazen it out, the outcome really mattered to him.
The sensation made him frown when he realised he hadn’t felt like this when he’d asked Annie out for the first time, all those years ago – feelings like this had come later.
She’d been the only other unknown outcome he’d ever cared about to a similar extent.
Hannah didn’t smile straight away. And for a heart-stopping moment he thought she was going to tell him she’d rather he didn’t come ashore with her.
Then she edged from the seating, dragging her bag with her as she stood and squared up to him. His mouth went dry as she stared at him with those large almond eyes, framed by impossibly long lashes.
‘I’ve visited St Maarten before, so I could be a useful tour guide.’
He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to market himself harder, except he wanted her to say yes, regardless of the selling point. Wanted to go ashore and have some time together not cut short by the demands of his job.
She smiled, shy at first and then more convincingly as he smiled, too.
‘I’m sorry I haven’t caught up with you before now, but—’
Hannah shook her head. ‘I should apologise to you, not the other way around. I drank far too much at that dinner. I was a mess, Louis, and I’m surprised you’ve come back for more. I’d run a mile, if I were you.’
‘I’m not that fit these days,’ he said, his smile becoming wry.
Hannah’s eyebrows arched, managing to highlight her gorgeous eyes even further as she grinned. ‘You look pretty fit to me.’
Glancing away, she drew the strap for her bag over her head and settled it across her body, her brow furrowed, and her cheeks turned a delicious shade of pink when she looked at him again.
‘How is it I always manage to say the wrong thing around you?’ she asked.
He went for a flippant answer, regretting its lack of depth almost as soon as the words had left his mouth. ‘Sounded good to me. I’ll take a compliment from you all day long.’
Her frown intensified and she paused, staring at him. ‘What’s going on here, Louis?’ she said.
Louis took in a long breath as he considered the layers involved within her question.
‘I don’t know, Hannah. But I do know I’d very much like to find out.’
‘Did you know that St Maarten is part French and part Dutch?’ Millie said, head bowed over Hannah’s travel guide in the back seat of the rental car.
Hannah was squashed in the central back seat, sandwiched between Millie and Nathan, while Ruth was in the front beside Louis, who had suggested he could drive them all, as he wasn’t intending to drink anything alcoholic.
‘Which bit of the island are we in?’ Nathan asked.
‘This southern part is Dutch,’ Louis said. ‘It’s the busier side of the island.’
‘So why are we heading to the north?’ Nathan asked.
‘Because Mum wants to go to the fort to see the view,’ Millie said, her tone suggesting Nathan was being stupid.
The exchange between the siblings continued across Hannah, heating up when Nathan called Millie a brat, to which she retaliated, saying she’d rather be a brat than a prat, because that was what he was.
The insults intensified and threatened to boil over until Ruth called a halt, her own voice spiralling as she shouted at them to shush.
‘Lord, give me strength,’ Ruth said, a hand at her brow. ‘I’m so sorry, Hannah. And in the presence of the captain of our ship, kids? Really?’
‘It’s fine,’ Louis said, grinning as he glanced in the mirror. For a second, Hannah thought he’d winked at her, but it could have been a trick of the light.
‘Go on a cruise, they said. It’ll be restful and fun, they said…’ Ruth rolled her eyes and the kids fell silent, Millie’s nose back in the guidebook, Nathan staring at the middle distance from the window.
At the fort, parking proved straightforward, and once the kids had climbed from the car, Hannah got out, pulling her bag from the footwell and threading it over her head.
‘You kids ready?’ Ruth asked. When she was satisfied with an enthusiastic nod from Millie, and a half shrug of agreement from Nathan, she headed off with tour guide determination. Louis lingered and Ruth turned. ‘See you guys up there, yes?’
Hannah nodded, and Ruth grinned, taking the first series of steps like a mountain goat.
‘Slow down,’ Nathan said. ‘You’ll have a stroke or something.’
‘I will not. Perfectly fit,’ Ruth said, bounding up the next group of steps, her kids following in her wake.
Hannah took the first few low-profile steps at an easier pace than Ruth.
She knew what Ruth was doing, creating space, and Hannah decided to take advantage of that, meandering her way up the easy gradient pathway, taking her time to look out at the ever-improving view over the town of Marigot and the harbour beyond.
Louis seemed in no hurry, either. When she paused to adjust the strap on her bag, easing it to a more comfortable position, he stopped beside her, hands on hips with his gaze on the horizon.
‘This is lovely,’ she said. With bright sunshine flooding the scene, the sea glistened as though lit from beneath, mid-sized yachts moored in the deeper water.
‘I’m not sure I could live anywhere too far from the sea,’ Louis said, his gaze on the water.
‘I don’t know if it’s just because I’m on holiday, but I think I know what you mean. Which is weird, because even though I’m only a stone’s throw from the sea at home, I hardly ever go to the coast,’ she replied.
‘But you know it’s there, if you need it.’
Hannah frowned. She’d never thought of the sea in that way, as though it was something to be called upon in moments of need.
Although now she thought about it, she had spent some time on a beach when her gran had died.
Somehow sitting on the pebbles staring out at the Solent had calmed her grief, given her a sense of peace, as though Gran were still there with her.
She turned to Louis, her frown falling away as his gaze found hers and he smiled.
‘Yes,’ she said, ‘I hadn’t thought of it like that before, but you’re right. It’s dependable; it’s never going to change.’
Louis laughed. ‘Unless you’re in a boat, and then it changes all the time. But it is a constant in a larger sense, that’s for sure.’
‘Why can’t people be like that?’ she said.
He drew in a deep breath, as though weighing up what to say. She instantly regretted the question, because it pointed in only one direction – towards her messy situation with Ian.
‘I think the right people are,’ he said. ‘But sometimes finding those people can be a bit of a challenge.’
‘A bit?’ She scoffed a laugh, which then added to her feeling of regret. He wasn’t wrong, but she’d made it sound as though she thought him an idiot.
The summit of Fort Louis was little more than a grouping of ruined granite walls, but with the view that Ruth had been so keen to see making up for any shortcomings where buildings were concerned.