Chapter 33
Hannah woke gloriously slowly – until she realised Louis was gone. She checked the time, disorientated about the unexpected change in his shift pattern.
She was sure he’d said he didn’t need to be on the bridge until later in the morning – and it was only just seven now. If he’d been needed, his radio would have woken her up crackling and fizzing like it had that night in the bar, when she and Louis had been nothing more than acquaintances.
Hannah squashed her head back into the sumptuous pillow. Whatever had happened, she was sure there would be a perfectly simple explanation. Idly she scrolled her phone. Sat up and reread a message, then listened to a voicemail message that had arrived while she’d been sleeping.
‘I know you won’t want to hear about Ian – although for the life of me I don’t understand why, your dad and I are still in bits about the situation – but you will want to hear this…’
Hannah’s mother sounded annoyed and devastated all at once. Her mother was adept at layering emotions into her words, and whatever the additional emotion turned out to be, annoyance was often the front-runner. But this was different. Her mother sounded genuinely distressed.
‘Hannah, he’s been in an accident. On Christmas Day of all days – can you imagine?
A car accident. The sun was low and the road was wet.
There was spray and reflected light and anyway, long story short, he pulled out onto the dual carriageway by Halfords, and someone just ploughed right into him.
Wrote his lovely car off. We got the call just as we were sitting down to the king’s speech.
Not that your father is interested in what King Charles has to say particularly, but it’s part of the day, isn’t it?
Like Joe watching The Gruffalo five times.
Anyway, Ian’s in Moorfield General. It’s his leg.
He’s done something to his shoulder too.
Maybe collarbone? They had to operate. That’s as much as we know.
We’re going to see him tomorrow. It might be nice if you had the decency to call him?
Or us? Your brother has missed you very much – it’s not been the same here for Christmas without you. ’
Her mother sniffed and her voice softened as the message concluded. ‘Anyway. Just wanted you to know. His mum said he was asking for you when he came round from the anaesthetic. She was crying, Hannah. And you know how stoic Mary is. Phone me.’
Hannah flopped back against the pillows.
As much as she hated what had happened between her and Ian, hated how it had gone wrong, she wouldn’t ever wish something like this on him.
It surprised her when tears pricked at the edges of her lids and a fat tear rolled slowly across her cheek and into the fabric.
What was the time difference between the Caribbean and home?
They were some hours ahead, so her parents might already be on their way to the hospital.
Hannah’s finger hovered over the screen; she should phone her mum now.
At least acknowledge her message. Work out what she would say when she phoned Ian.
Because it felt impossible for her to ignore this – she might have lost faith in the man, but she wasn’t cold enough to blank him under these circumstances.
She phoned her mother, kept the conversation brief while reassuring her that she would call Ian later in the day. Her mother sounded as excited by her decision as she had when Hannah and Ian had announced their engagement.
Which felt a weird mixture of being no more than a few moments ago, but also part of a different lifetime…
No sooner had she put the phone down than it buzzed, still on silent but determined to be noticed, heralding a call from Ruth suggesting they meet for breakfast.
Ruth set down the phone, checking her reflection as she gave her hair a final brush through. Never one for much self-maintenance, somehow this morning was different.
‘Have you put make-up on, Mum?’ Millie said, peering at her in the reflection of the mirror.
‘’Course she has,’ Nathan said. At least, that’s what Ruth thought he said through the foam of toothpaste and the whirring of his electric toothbrush from their cupboard of a bathroom.
‘A bit of blusher maybe,’ Ruth said, dropping her brush into her washbag.
Nathan spat in the bowl, water swishing as he said, ‘Yeah. And the rest. And we all know why.’
Ruth stilled. The previous day had gone so well; their meal together with Teddy had been effortless. But maybe Nathan hadn’t taken their time spent with Teddy in his stride quite as easily as Ruth had hoped.
It might have been cowardly, but Ruth didn’t push Nathan to expand on his comment, nor did she feel now was the time to reveal what Teddy had actually – eventually – said to her.
Instead, she busied herself while he used her mouthwash, avoided making a sarcastic quip about why he should be wanting his breath to be so minty fresh, then chivvied her children out of the cabin and into the lift.
It would be another hurdle to be crossed in the unknown land of ‘rekindling a relationship with a very old flame without alienating the children recently deprived of their own father’ – but that was about the top and bottom of it.
Teddy had intimated that nothing was off the table.
And even though it was still very early days for him in terms of looking for someone new after losing Mai, he’d told her he didn’t want to lose contact again. Didn’t want to let her go, either…
Ruth worried about how Louis might take news of this sort, then decided to put a pin in that thought.
She had enough on her plate, for now at least. And, in fact, something fresh had been biting at her overnight – something she felt she had to talk to Hannah about.
The fact Hannah was free to join them for breakfast was maybe the cue she needed.
Perhaps today’s breakfast would provide the perfect opportunity.
Having satisfied himself that the engineering team had dealt with the potential fire issue with swift competence, Louis headed back to the bridge with Maria. On the way she slowed, frowning as he glanced at her.
‘Everything all right?’ he asked.
‘I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do, Captain King, but I think it needs to be said.’
‘Call me Louis, for God’s sake, Maria. We’ve known one another for, what, five years? What needs to be said?’
‘I don’t want to overstep. It’s not what I think, it’s just something I’ve heard, that’s all.’
‘What is?’ Louis ground to a halt, auspiciously right next to one of the many fire doors dotted throughout the ship. He tried not to stare at it.
Maria took a deep breath, allowing the air out slowly as she stared at him.
‘People are suggesting you’re not focused enough, Louis. They’re saying you’ve taken your eye off the ball and as a result things on the bridge aren’t running as smoothly as they should be.’
‘What? How is some loose wiring in an engine room my fault?’
Maria shrugged. ‘I don’t think it is, but the buck does stop with you, Louis. And – please don’t be angry with me – but some people are saying you forgot a debrief yesterday.’
Her delicate eyebrows flexed. She looked incredibly awkward.
‘We did have a debrief. Right before the Christmas banquet,’ Louis said, his frown matching hers. He could feel his blood pressure rising. ‘I’ve not missed any scheduled meetings.’
‘And then there’s the fact you weren’t in your cabin this morning, and we couldn’t raise you on your radio. Resorting to texting you wasn’t exactly ideal.’
There was no wriggling out of this observation.
Louis swallowed. ‘No. That was an oversight on my part. You’re right.’
Maria sighed. ‘We’ve all noticed what’s been happening between you and that guest. And your private life should be completely that.
But this is your first posting as captain, Louis.
Listen, it’s not my style to tell anyone what to do.
But – oh, I’m just going to come out and say it – Tim Price is gunning for you.
I know he’s new on board, but he’s good at what he does.
And he’s talking about contacting head office.
Don’t mess it up because you’re distracted by a pretty girl. ’
‘I haven’t been distracted…’
‘Louis. Where is your radio?’
He felt for the spare on his belt, noticed the arch in her eyebrows and huffed. ‘I’m not sure.’
‘Far be it from me to rain on your parade – I think it’s great you’ve found someone to enjoy your downtime with… But this is your shot at having Blue Line Cruising see you as permanent captain material. Don’t mess it up.’
Less than a fortnight ago, he had been utterly focused on doing the best possible job in his first posting as captain. And the desire to do his best hadn’t diminished.
Maybe, if he hadn’t met Hannah, he would have spent more time physically on board the Ballygowan – but it wouldn’t have altered his time on duty on the bridge, or how he’d treated any crew member. He remained convinced it wouldn’t have changed any decisions he’d made.
And yet… There had been moments when he’d almost forgotten he was captain of the ship, had wanted to feel like one of the guests, relaxed and making the most of being in the Caribbean with a beautiful woman.
He certainly hadn’t been thinking about the ship when he and Hannah had been sharing their most intimate moments – and misplacing his radio was unprofessional.
There was no dodging the bullet of him not being in his cabin, either.
There he would have been instantly contactable.
He could have done better; chastised himself for the slips, however minor they might be.
He nodded. ‘I hear what you’re saying, Maria. And thank you for saying it. My eye has always been on the ball, but I will make even more effort from here on in, I promise.’
‘You’re preaching to the converted, Louis – it’s some of the others you need to reassure.’
‘Like Tim Price?’ Louis could feel himself bristle at the idea of having to reassure his least favourite member of the crew.
Maria nodded. ‘Yes. Like Tim.’ She pursed her lips, then added, ‘Anyway, if you’re serious about this girl, you’re going to have to make her understand how the life works, aren’t you?
I mean, you’re away for months on end – if she can’t cope with that, it might be better to find out now, rather than later. ’
It was as though someone had slapped Louis round the face with a cold fish.
Had he been nestled in a warm fuzzy world of make-believe?
How would Hannah react to life after this cruise?
Or even worse, would she head home without a backwards glance when it ended?
That scenario wasn’t something he’d even considered, but perhaps he should.
He sighed, nodded in agreement with Maria’s comment and headed for the bridge.