Chapter 38
The next day dawned bright and fine, regardless of how anyone on the Ballygowan was feeling. The world was intent on continuing to spin; the day was happening regardless, leaving the minutiae of human lives to those lesser beings.
None of that mattered to the Ballygowan, either. Slicing her way through ocean waves, operating at optimum capacity, with every need met by an extensive and attentive crew, the ship was living her best life. Which was more than could be said for Louis.
‘What’s wrong?’ Maria asked as they sat side by side at the wide control panel and Louis tried to focus on something… anything.
‘Nothing.’
Portus wound his way around Louis’ legs, tail held high and twitching against Louis’ knee.
‘The cat would beg to differ,’ Maria said. ‘And so would I. You look like someone filled your Christmas stocking with coal or the modern equivalent. Barbecue briquettes? The ones that never burn properly?’
Louis managed a stifled laugh, reaching to give Portus a reassuring stroke. ‘Barbecue briquettes? Not on board a ship, Maria. Let’s not go there again.’
‘No. Fair enough. Is there anything I can help with?’
‘It’s nothing to do with the ship, if that’s what you’re worried about. Everything is running smoothly – even Tim can’t find anything to moan about.’
Maria nodded. ‘So Philippe was right – it’s about Hannah?’
‘Philippe? He’s the sommelier in the Vivaldi, isn’t he?’ Louis said.
‘Yes.’ Maria wrinkled her nose, doing her best not to grin. ‘He’s… We’re… Well, it’s not about us – he did say he thought your dinner hadn’t gone according to plan last night.’
‘Couldn’t have gone much worse to be honest.’
‘We’ve got a layover in Barbados coming up. Plenty of time to sort things out.’
‘I suppose so.’
‘You don’t sound very convinced. Are you done with the relationship?’
Louis frowned. ‘No. It’s not that. In fact, I was beginning to think about the possibility of a future with her, but it seems she’s being pulled back into what I hoped was her past.’
‘The missing passenger from suite 70-69?’
‘He was her fiancé – I guess I hoped whatever he’d done was unforgivable. That Hannah was absolutely finished with him, and we could sail off into the sunset without a backwards glance.’
Maria shrugged. ‘The girl has baggage. So what? You want to talk about baggage? We’re all carrying around suitcases of crap.
Philippe says he’s almost divorced, but you think I don’t know he has a young child back in Paris?
Life’s messy, Louis. We’ve all got a past. But if it means enough to you, you could unpack it with her, help her to make her choice, couldn’t you?
Or are you just going to let her walk away? ’
He didn’t want to – but it was possible he wouldn’t have much say in the matter, however hard he fought for her. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d lost out to someone else, after all.
Hannah knew something had upset Ruth before they’d disembarked from the Ballygowan. For one thing there was no sign of Teddy. And for another, Ruth greeted her with an apology.
‘I’m sorry, Hannah. I messed up.’
‘How?’ Hannah alighted on the concrete of the Bridgetown quay, tipping her face to the warmth of the sun as she waited for Ruth to catch her up.
‘Meddling in your decisions. It’s none of my business who you choose to be with. And I won’t say another word on the matter.’
‘That sounds unlikely,’ Millie said, slipping a hand into Ruth’s.
‘Don’t try to make me laugh, Mils. I don’t deserve your kindness.’
Millie turned to Hannah. ‘Mum and Teddy had a bit of a falling-out. It’s a shame because I really liked him.’
‘Yeah. Me too.’ Nathan seemed surprised by his own statement as he looked from Hannah to his mother and back again. ‘I mean, Mum’s unlikely to give Dad houseroom ever again, and I didn’t think Teddy was a complete dick, so—’
‘Why?’ Hannah said.
‘Well, he didn’t try and be my friend or bribe me into liking him like Janey did when she was first with Dad, or—’
‘No, Nathan – sorry, I didn’t mean that. I meant why have you fallen out with Teddy, Ruth?’
Ruth shook her head. ‘Nothing important. Just one of those things, I guess.’
It was unlike Ruth to play down something of such importance – to be honest it was unlike Ruth to play anything down.
‘That makes no sense, Ruth.’
‘Please don’t ask, Hannah. Let’s get on with enjoying the day instead. Right, Millie. Fun facts about Barbados, please.’
Hannah still hadn’t managed to circle back to the Teddy situation when the depleted Team Herring sat down to a traditional cream tea in a café they’d found at the botanical gardens.
Millie had already regaled them with information about Barbados – apparently described as the most ‘British’ of the islands, with cricket as its national sport.
Hannah hadn’t listened to it all, her thoughts straying back to how badly the previous evening had panned out.
She’d been overemotional, had fled the situation too quickly. Her head remained scrambled.
Even though Ruth had backtracked on the advice she’d offered, it had struck a nerve.
Hannah hadn’t given Ian a chance to make amends.
Although she’d done her best to ignore the situation while aboard the Ballygowan, hiding from reality like a coward – was she really prepared to lose everything she’d come to rely on back home?
Especially in favour of a man she found extremely attractive but wasn’t likely to be any more perfect than anyone else.
Ian had already let her down. The damage had been severe, but it had already happened, and hearing his voice, the vulnerability held within his tone, had reminded her of all the good times.
All the joy-filled moments they’d shared.
The way he smiled when he opened his door to her, the way he made her coffee just how she liked it, the packages that arrived regularly, ordered by him as little surprises for her.
Maybe those could outweigh the mistake he’d made.
Whereas Louis had been perfect. The perfect man. Which wasn’t realistic. Was it? There had to be aspects to Louis that weren’t great. Like his attitude the previous evening. What was he like when he lost his temper? How did he react to bad news? She didn’t know.
Eventually he would let her down, too. And then where would she be…
Maybe she should consider sticking to someone she knew well, however imperfect he might be – maybe that would be a better plan. More logical. Safer.
Ruth managed the whole day without spilling everything to Hannah. It wouldn’t have been fair to do so; she knew that. And yet she desperately wanted to confide in someone. No, not someone – she wanted to confide in Hannah, who had become far more than a ‘someone’ to Ruth.
But she couldn’t pluck up the nerve to talk to Hannah about Louis. She was hiding behind the fact she’d promised Teddy not to. Had agreed to leave them all alone.
Or had she? If she thought about it, maybe Teddy had just said it and stalked off before she’d had a chance to agree. Could she find a loophole?
It was the least she could do to try to find out where Hannah’s thoughts lay, regarding Louis, wasn’t it? And if they were favourable, she could legitimately report her findings back to Teddy. It might not make things right, but it would be something.
‘I wasn’t going to pry, Hannah,’ Ruth said.
Hannah stifled a laugh. ‘But…?’
Ruth huffed in frustration. ‘OK, I know. But… I can’t help it. What’s happening with you and…’
‘The two men in my life?’ Hannah said, a conflicted expression crossing her delicate features. ‘That’s not a phrase I ever thought I would hear myself say. I didn’t do it on purpose, Ruth.’
‘No, of course you didn’t. You and Ian had broken up. This isn’t on you.’
‘But it is. Because I have to sort it out. And now I’ve gone and made it a million times worse.’ Hannah frowned. ‘I think I know what I need to do, though.’
‘Do you?’ Ruth blew out her cheeks. ‘I am so sorry for butting in with my opinions. I was completely out of order.’
Hannah shook her head. ‘No, don’t be. I’ve been hiding from reality for too long. And these exotic gardens are so outside my normal frame of reference for my life; it’s crystallised the situation for me. Somehow, I need to find a way to tell Louis, though. And that’s not going to be easy.’
Ruth stilled. Hannah was going to dump Louis…
Now the possibility was made real, something approaching fear tickled its way up and down her spine.
She’d done this. She’d taken a beautiful new relationship, taken two people so perfect for one another it made her heart ache, and had ruined it.
It didn’t matter what Hannah said about it happening anyway, Ruth knew she was to blame.
And logic dictated she and Teddy would now have zero chance of even remaining friends…
Ruth had done it again. Whenever her life looked like it was heading in the direction of happy, she managed to trash it. She was a complete idiot.