Chapter 20
ELLA
Harlan and I sit in the small kitchen finishing our slices of chocolate cake while Ry changes the oil in my SUV. He nearly had a heart attack earlier when he glanced at the windshield sticker and saw I was past due on my oil change.
“Ella, I appreciate this. It was very thoughtful.”
I toss the paper plates and utensils in the trash, box the cake, and place it in the fridge. “It’s no big deal, Harlan. We just thought it would be something nice. Ry actually paid for it.”
“That boy doesn’t need to be spending his money on me. He already does enough as it is.”
I wipe the crumbs from the table. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t get me wrong, my son is great. He would do anything at all for me. But he lives in town. Works fifty to sixty hours a week at his office job, so I feel bad asking him for help with things around the garage or the house. All I have to do is mention something in passing, and before I know it, Crutch has already handled it. Already fixed it for me.” He leans over and pats my hand. “You’re really good for him, Ella. I’ve never seen him happier. He thinks he’s poor, white trash. Hopefully, you’ll be able to convince him otherwise.”
He grunts, rising from the table. “Well, it’s time for me to call it a night. Leave you kids to it. Don’t let him go to the land tonight. Cold front has already started to come through, and it’s freezing outside. Make him stay here tonight.”
“Yes, sir.”
I meander out to the garage floor. Sitting in the rolling chair I’ve claimed as my own over the past month, I watch Ry as he works. The comfortable silence engulfs us like the steam from a hot shower.
Time to splash some cold water on things.
“I have something for you.”
Walking around the side of my vehicle, he bends down in front of me, framing both of his hands on the armrests of the chair. Brushing his lips against mine, he growls low, “I’ve got something for you too.”
The timbre of his voice sends shivers across my body, and I squirm in my chair, fighting the urge to touch myself. Which I never used to actually do, but find myself doing all the time now, when we aren’t together.
Chuckling, he stands upright and spins my chair in circles as he walks away.
I lick my lips. “Anyway, as I was saying, I have something for you. But I’m not gonna give it to you until you promise that you’ll accept it.”
“Is there a reason that I wouldn’t accept it?”
“Yes, you being a butthole is the reason.”
He slams the hood to my vehicle, laughing uncontrollably. “Lulu, do you ever cuss? I’ve not heard you utter one single curse word in the time we’ve known each other.”
“Cursing is not expected of me, so I don’t do it. If you want me to break that habit too, it may take a little bit of time. And don’t change the subject. We’re talking about me giving you a present. It’s rude to turn down a present, so you have to promise to accept it.”
“I’m not gonna promise that. Tell me what the present is and then we can discuss it.”
Unhappily grunting, I root around in my purse for the old cell phone I grabbed earlier at my house. Standing tall, I walk over to him, holding it hostage behind my back. “Hold out your hand and close your eyes.” He does as he’s told. I slap the cell phone in his hand and race to the other side of the garage, taking sentry behind his tall rolling tool box.
He stares at his hand like I just gifted him a dog turd. “A smart phone?”
“Yes, and before you say anything, I didn’t buy it. It’s my old phone. It has wireless and can be used as a hotspot. It’s all under mine and Carrie’s family plan, so it only cost an extra $10 per month to keep the phone line activated. Unlimited data so you don’t have to worry about going over on minutes or data.”
He holds the phone out to me, waggling it in my direction. “No, I’m not accepting a phone from you. It’s too much. If I want a phone, I can buy it myself. Come take this back.”
“No.”
“No?”
“You heard me. Why can you give me something, and I can’t give you anything?”
“Lulu, that’s the point. I’m a loser. I haven’t given you anything.”
I gasp like he’s just physically slapped me. I narrow my eyes and stare at him over the top of the tool box. “Ryland Joseph Crutchfield, I don’t ever wanna hear those words come from your mouth again. There’s so much wrong with that statement I don’t even know where to begin.”
He doesn’t say anything. He just clutches the phone, turning his knuckles white.
“Let’s look at what’s in front of us,” I say pointing to my car. “How much are you gonna charge me for the oil change?”
“What?” He shakes his head in confusion. “Nothing.”
“Exactly. That oil change and tire rotation usually costs me $200. I know that synthetic oil’s not free. Who’s paying Harlan for that? You, right?”
The muscles in his jaw work back and forth. His translucent green eyes are set on fire, making his beauty even more breathtaking than normal.
“That’s what I thought. And you’re saying you can’t trade out with me? Mine only costs $10 a month.” I emerge from my hiding place and close the distance between us.
I’m standing just a foot away from him. All he has to do is reach out and touch me. Reach out and pull me against him. One small tug. It wouldn’t take much for him to crash my body into his.
“I’m not trying to keep tabs on you. I just wanna talk to you, Ry. When I’m away from you, I wanna hear your voice. Sure, we can talk on the garage line, but what about when you’re at the homestead? We can text or talk or just say hi to each other. Won’t that be nice?”
His features start to soften, and I can tell it’s time for me to bring my argument to its pinnacle. I had hoped I wouldn’t have to bring this up, but who was I kidding. I knew getting him to accept any gift like this was going to take convincing. “What about all those nights I drive home by myself? If something happens to me, I’ll be able to call you on the cell phone.” I bat my eyelashes at him. “Don’t you want me to be safe, Ry?” I take one small, baby step forward, inching my shoe along the floor. “And what about the nights we can’t be together? When you’re all alone and thinking of me, just like I think about you? Maybe—just maybe—I could send you some pictures to keep you company.” I cock my hip to the side and shift my torso so the neck of my loose sweater falls down my shoulder, showcasing my pink lace bra strap.
And with that, his fingers snatch out, grabbing the front waistband of my jeans. I tumble against him and he wraps me in his arms. Sweeping his tongue into my mouth, he kisses me with so much fervor and passion, it makes me feel like we’ve been lovers for a thousand years. Connected from the beginning of time. When we finally break away, we’re both panting and gasping for air.
“That’s not fair, Lulu. You’re manipulating me. After all this time, you’re telling me you don’t play our game fair? You don’t play by the rules?”
I lean up and bite his lower lip. “Game on.”
***
It’s so cold our breath makes fog every time we speak. “I can’t believe how cold it’s turned in just a few hours.”
Ry leans past me, into my car, and turns the heater up as far as it will go. He drove it out of the garage bay a couple of minutes ago, and it’s idling in the parking lot, waiting on me to drive home.
He softly kisses my lips. “Today was a good day. I got a phone, some chocolate cake, and a girlfriend.” He sighs in contentment. “That was some really good chocolate cake.”
Laughing, I slap his arm, and then use the opportunity to snake my hands up his shoulders and around his neck. I tug on his hair just the way he likes, the harder the better.
My whisper gets caught in my throat. “Tell me something.”
“Tell you something? Tell you what?”
“Tell me something no one else knows.”
He shakes his head. He’s about to tell me no. I know he is. But then he changes his mind. How can he deny me such a simple request? A perfectly complex, yet simple request. He closes his eyes, thinking.
“I stole something once. It was before I lived with my grandparents. My parents had been on a bender and hadn’t really fed me anything for a few days. I was with my dad in the grocery store. He was buying beer. All of this food was just calling to me. I was so hungry, people in Idaho could probably hear my stomach growling. I took a candy bar. Just grabbed it and put it in my shorts. When I was walking out the door, I looked back and saw the cashier. She knew I took the candy bar. I just kept waiting on her to stop me, to call out. She didn’t, though. She just smiled. I spent the next several weeks terrified that I was gonna go to jail. My mom and dad had both already spent time in jail by then, and I knew it was a place I didn’t wanna be.
“The summer before my senior year of high school, I saw that same cashier at the nursing home when Grandpa and me were visiting Grandma. I saw her talking to some nurses when we walked by. I heard them whispering about her mother, saying she would be passing at any minute. It was the end. When Grandpa was with Grandma, I went back to see her. I bought a candy bar at the vending machine and went into the room with the cashier and her mom.”
Ry tilts his head to the side, his vision clouds with memories. “She looked up at me. With these tears streaming down her face. She noticed the candy bar in my hand and just smiled. She remembered me. Just like I remembered her. I gave her the candy bar and just sat with her. Neither of us said a word. Three hours and fourteen minutes later, her mother took her last breath. She died. The lady wiped her tears, took the candy bar from the table and walked out the door.”
He turns his focus back to me, rubbing his hands up the outside of my thighs. He doesn’t touch my legs often, but when he does, he lights my insides on fire. “And I never saw her again.”
This man. Who is this man in front of me?
Technically, I knew it the first second I saw him on the back porch of that trailer, but now, I can actually admit it to myself. I love him.
I’m in love with him.
My compass. My rock. My calm before the storm.
And… my raging hurricane in the middle of the ocean.
“You wanna tell me where that came from, Lulu? What made you ask that?”
“It’s something Carrie and I used to do.”
“So, someday you’ll tell me something you’ve never told anyone else?”
My frozen lips reach up to find his warmth. “All you have to do is ask.”