Chapter 15
15
“ H e’s never going to speak to me again, is he?” I mumble, the snacks I shoveled into my mouth before the meeting threatening to stage a violent coup in my stomach.
Sage reaches out and squeezes my arm, always the one to give a comforting touch during our meetings. “I don’t know about that. He loves you. He loves Ariana. Maybe he’ll be… happy?” Their voice lilts up in a question that’s not particularly reassuring.
Susan snorts derisively. “I doubt that. He’s more likely to rip your throat out with his fangs.”
“Don’t listen to her,” Nik says, shaking his head in dismissal. “It’ll be fine. Doug has come a long way with controlling his wolf’s temper. You’ll find a way to work through this.” He runs a hand through his bristly salt and p epper beard, expression thoughtful. “A sincere apology is always a good place to start. Let Doug know that you made a mistake and it won’t happen again. He knows that sometimes our inner beasts push us to do things we’re not proud of.”
I know the kind bear shifter’s advice is meant to soothe me, but it only serves to spark my temper. I hate that the automatic assumption is that I was thinking with my dick, and that I didn’t have good intentions. If that’s sweet, empathetic Nik’s initial conclusion, then there’s no way Doug will be any more understanding. I love my best friend, but he’s the type to react first, and ask question later.
“It wasn’t a mistake,” I reply through gritted teeth, unable to keep my frustration out of my tone.
Nik’s bushy brows raise, taken aback by the bite in my voice. “Oh!” He waits a moment, then hesitantly continues. “Then what, may I ask, was it?”
I don’t have to think at all about my reply. “The best godsdamned thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Ren lets out a dreamy sigh that contrasts almost comically with his intimidating appearance. “You’re in love .”
My heart flutters at the mention of love. “I’m not…”
Max quirks a brow at my denial. Of course the damn succubus empath can tell that’s a lie.
I shake my head, my face heating at being caught about to lie in our circle of trust. “I care about Ariana. I’ve been into her for a really long time, so when she gave me a shot, I took it.”
“And it’s not just a fling? You want more with her?” Sage prompts, their spindly gray fingers giving my forearm another reassuring squeeze. I appreciate the grounding calm their touch provides.
“Gods, yes. I want everything with her. ”
“Oh, that’s so romantic!” Ren gasps, clasping a hand to his chest as his large eye practically fills with hearts.
“If you care about her, then what’s the issue?” Tomas asked with a soft smile. “You’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. Everyone loves you. Why wouldn’t Doug approve of someone so good dating his sister?”
“Because he knows about Wesley’s shit dating history,” Susan volunteers, though her voice lacks its usual bite. She almost sounds sympathetic, which makes sense given her own romantic track record. The harpy has broken more hearts than the numbers of feathers in her wings.
“Forget about Doug’s reaction for a moment. How does Ariana feel?” Max asks, his black eyes boring into me as if he can see into my soul.
No doubt he feels the surge of affection and frustration coming off of me in waves as I reply. “She agreed to be my girlfriend, but wants to wait to tell Doug. I don’t think she believes me when I tell her I want something long-term with her. And I… I get it. Like Susan said, I have an awful dating track record. But that’s because she’s the one I’ve wanted! She…she’s it for me.”
Tomas nods, his antennae fluttering in sympathy. “I felt the same way when I met Caleb.” His eyes grow soft with obvious love for his mate. “I couldn’t stay away and I certainly couldn’t hide my feelings. How the hell did you wait so long to make a move?”
I shrug. “I didn’t think she was into me, and I didn’t want to be her brother’s creepy friend who made a pass at her. Minotaurs don’t have mate bonds, so I could handle wanting her without acting on it. Yeah, it sucked, but it wasn’t as bad as it would’ve been if you’d tried to stay away from Caleb.”
“How many times do we have to talk about this in our group?” Nik asks with a rueful shake of his head.
Susan and Sage exchange a quick look of amusement as Nik dives into one of his signature lectures, but I don’t mind his pontificating. His guidance and care is why this group has been so successful.
The shifter reaches his hands out to gesture around the circle. “We all have urges and challenges unique to being a monster—none of us are immune to our instincts. Just because you don’t have an official mate bond doesn’t mean that keeping your feelings to yourself wouldn’t be hard. Minotaurs still have a strong urge to claim a partner when they find someone they think is ‘theirs’, right?”
“Well… yeah.” When he puts it like that, it makes my pining and near constant fantasizing about Ariana seem a bit more reasonable. I never consciously allowed myself to think of her as mine, but that knowledge must have been there despite my best efforts.
Nik’s chest puffs up as he continues, clearly pleased at my reaction to his words. “Having a human partner adds another layer of complexity to a relationship as a monster. Ariana knows about monsters because of Doug, but she doesn’t know the ins and outs of minotaur behavior. You have to explain it to her like you would with any non-minotaur partner. I know we all tend to shy away from discussing our monstrous nature with humans to protect them from our ‘strangeness.’ But our needs are just as natural as a human’s.”
A few people around the circle nod in agreement. It’s tough to accept that I’m not strange when I spend most of my life hiding behind a glamor so I don’t terrify humans that are unaware of paranormal creatures’ existence. But Nik is right. Our differences don’t make our needs any less valid.
“Don’t assume she won’t unde rstand or that she won’t want to accommodate your needs,” Nik continues. “Openness and honesty are key to any paranormal pairing—we all know what happens when you assume?—”
Susan groans and rolls her eyes. “Please don’t say it.”
“Hah, fine. But you get it,” Nik says with a gruff laugh.
There’s a moment of silence as I process his words. I think we’re going to move on to talking about something else after Nik’s sage advice, but Max speaks up. “I almost lost my partner because I wasn’t open about my nature. Learn from my mistakes. Tell Ariana how you feel.”
His serious tone sinks into my chest, and I take his words to heart. “Okay. I will. I’ll talk to her. Thanks for listening, everyone.”
“That’s what we’re here for,” Sage says, finally letting go of my arm now that I’m not actively panicking.
Susan swipes a taloned finger toward me in an accusatory gesture. “Wait, wait, wait. We’re ignoring the elephant in the room. Or the minotaur. Whatever. How the fuck did you have sex with a human? How did it fit?” She visibly shudders at the thought.
“Susan!” Nik exclaims, aghast.
“I mean… we were all thinking it though, right?” Sage says, giving me a sheepish grin that shows off their razor-sharp teeth.
“Wesley, you absolutely do not have to share the details of your sex life.” Nik gives everyone in the circle a stern, disappointed look.
I laugh, unbothered. If there’s one thing I’ve never been shy about discussing, it’s sex. It’s an important part of a lot of monsters’ lives, especially those with mating imperatives, so it’s not like we haven’t talked about sex in our group before. Plus, maybe someone will have advice on how to handle the size difference. As much as I’ve slept around, I’ve only slept with humans while using my glamor. I’ve stuck to other monster species when in my true form. Most other monsters have magic that aids in being physical ly compatible, so I’ve never had to think much about it.
“Well, she wanted me as I am naturally, so… it was definitely a stretch,” I say with a sheepish laugh.
Susan winces. “Gods, poor woman.”
Someone clears their throat, and I look away from Susan’s horrified expression to see Tomas’ mate standing beside him with a tray of cookies. “Sorry to interrupt. Just wanted to bring these out while they’re hot. What’s that about a poor woman?”
“Wesley is dating a human who wants to be with him. As a minotaur,” Tomas says, winking at Caleb before snagging a cookie from the tray.
“ Oh .” Caleb’s cheeks flood with color. He looks at me, eyes widening. “Yeah, that would be a lot to, uh, take in.”
Sage snorts, almost choking on a cookie.
Looking at the blushing human man and his mothman mate, a thought occurs to me. “Do you two have any advice? Not to pry, it’s just, I dated a mothperson, so I know how shockingly enormous their dicks can be.”
Caleb sputters, face turning an even deeper red. “I don’t—It, uh…”
“Shit, sorry! I shouldn’t have assumed you’d be the one taking… you know what? Forget I even said anything,” I blurt, realizing how inappropriate it is to ask Tomas’ mate how he’s able to get railed by moth cock.
Tomas grins adoringly at Caleb, clearly unbothered by the discussion of their sex life. In fact, he looks proud. “My perfect mate is able to take me. It just takes time and careful preparation.”
Caleb looks like he doesn’t know if he should preen at being called perfect or run away in embarrassment. He settles for mumbling something and looking down at his tray of cookies as his blush deepens.
Ren’s enormous eye focuses on Tomas with intense interest. “This is good to know. I was worried that if I found a human mate like yours, I would destroy them with my cock.”
“I’m going to go back inside,” Caleb says, his voice a high-pitched squeak as the cyclops eyes him as if mentally assessing his capacity for taking monster dick.
“Thank you for the cookies, my love.” Tomas kisses his hand. “I’ll make this up to you later,” he says, lowering his voice to a whisper.
“I’m really sorry, Caleb!” I call out, feeling terrible for turning my question into an awkward conversation for the shy human.
“Okay, enough about cocks,” Susan says, mouth half full of cookie. “I have something to share with the group!”
“Is there anything else you wanted to, um, share before we move on, Wesley?” Nik asks, looking almost as flustered as Caleb was by the raunchy turn our conversation took.
I shake my head. The pressure in my chest that I came here with tonight has eased significantly, and now I have a plan of action. Talk to Ariana and tell her why letting Doug know about our relationship is important. Mutually agree on how to break the news to him. Spend the rest of our time together this weekend doting on her and working on stretching her so she can take my cock again.
The rest of the meeting passes quickly, with Susan sharing some coworker drama, and Max confessing his struggles with forming friendships because of negative experiences in the past. I invite him to come work out with me and Doug, but he seemed reticent to join us. I realize belatedly that my offer probably sounded like it came from pity, so I don’t push it. I’ll bring it up again in a few weeks and bug him until he gives in to my charms.
As I head to my car after we wrap up our meeting, a hesitant voice calls my name. I turn over my shoulder and see Caleb approaching with something in his hand.
“Dude, I’m so, so sorry,” I say preemptively. “That was not okay for me to ask such a personal question. Sometimes I can be an insensitive jerk. My head is all mixed up with this stuff with my girlfriend. I’m worried about hurting her and want to do things right, and shit, I’m being inappropriate again by telling you this.”
“Oh, uh, it’s okay!” Caleb says, looking taken aback by my rambling mess of an apology. “I forget sometimes that monsters are a lot more open about sex. I know you weren’t trying to be weird. Honestly, I’m a little glad you asked.”
“Oh?” That’s not what I was expecting at all.
“Not because I want to talk about my sex life!” he exclaims, shaking his head. “I have something that can help you. Here!” He shoves something into my hand.
It’s a… jar? “What is this?”
“Lube. Magic lube! Tomas knows a witch who makes it and I can give you her contact info if you want more. It helps with stretching and, um, healing. We had an unopen jar, so I figured…”
Of course there’s magic lube. Witches come up with shit for everything. “Damn, you’re amazing!” I reach out to give the much smaller man a hug, but stop myself before I crush him to my chest in my excitement, transitioning it to an awkward pat on the back instead. “Thank you, Caleb. Magic lube… this is perfect. I’ll definitely take that contact info.”
He writes it down for me, then retreats to the safety of his house before I can make things weird again. The entire drive home, I’m buzzing with a sense of relief and excitement. This weekend with Ariana is going to be amazing.