Chapter 20
20
J ust when I was starting to think today wasn’t a total disaster, my damn brother has to show up uninvited. I know it must be something bad if Doug is coming over with barely any warning, and I shouldn’t be upset, but that doesn’t stop the flash of anger when Wesley leaves to go head him off.
I silently grumble to myself as I dry off and get dressed. All the languid arousal that built while I soaked in the magic bath water and the pulses of heat from anticipating what would come later tonight has been doused. Now I’m on edge and frustrated for a decidedly unsexy reason.
I’m not proud of my pissy reaction. It makes me feel like the world’s worst sister to hope that Doug will be persuaded to leave quickly. I shouldn’t care more about an intimate night with my new boyfriend than making sure his mental sta te won’t cause him to lose control.
It’s just… I’ve put his needs over mine for so long. Taking care of Doug after he was bitten meant leaving behind my old life and starting over in Moonvale, all while adjusting to the fact that monsters are real. There was over a year where I spent every moment I wasn’t around my brother worried that he’d lose control and attack someone if they looked at him wrong. Doug was mild-mannered and non-confrontational before turning into a werewolf, so at the beginning he had no coping mechanisms for the bursts of rage that overtook him at the smallest provocation. I was the only person he never threatened, because according to him, I smell “safe” and his beast knows that I’m family.
I don’t regret the decision to take care of him and I’d do it all over again if I had to. But sometimes I wish things were different. That he hadn’t gone camping during that full moon and that damn irresponsible werewolf who bit him hadn’t assumed she was far enough away from civilization to fully unleash her wolf. I still love Doug with my whole heart, and in many ways, his personality has blossomed since becoming a werewolf. He’s more confident and outgoing, and he’s doing a lot more with his life now that he’s gotten through most of the adjustment period for his new monster side. But I miss the brother who didn’t get upset easily. The old Doug wouldn’t bat an eye if I told him I was dating his best friend. Though I doubt he and Wesley would’ve ever met if it weren’t for Doug joining their monster support group.
Hiding my new relationship with Wesley sucks, but I don’t want anyone to get hurt, and I definitely can’t risk ruining their friendship by breaking the news when Doug is already stressed. When the two of them grew close, I could breathe a little again. Wesley offers Doug something I can’t—a monster’s perspective and lifetime of experience reconciling his beastly urges with living as part of human society. As exhausted as I was being my brother’s only source of security for so long, I was upset when the beefy minotaur gym bro insisted Doug hang out with him instead of me. Looking back on that now, I realize that even before we knew each other, Wes was helping me out. He wasn’t pushing me out of Doug’s life, he was giving me a chance to live my own.
My heart squeezes and I’m filled with overwhelming affection for Wesley. A feeling that could easily be mistaken for love. Oh god, I love him, don’t I? The thought simultaneously has me panicking and giddy, and I let out a squeal of shock that echoes against the tiled shower wall.
Crap . I hold perfectly still for a long moment, expecting Doug to come barging in here at any moment, having heard my noise and found out my deceit. At least a minute passes before I unclench and sink down to sit on the fluffy bathmat with a weak, soundless laugh.
Get it together, girl. He’s not going to find you in here. Just settle in and wait.
“Ari, are you alive in there?”
I startle, eyes flying open at the voice on the other side of the bathroom door followed by two loud raps. I’d been attempting to meditate to soothe my nerves and must’ve dozed off. I’m wide awake now.
“Doug!” I call back, scrambling up to my feet in a panic. Shit, did I lock the door after Wes left? Will that even matter? He knows I’m here! What the hell did Wes say to him? Is Wes okay?!
“On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?” my brother asks from the other side of the door, sounding far more calm than I’d expect from someone with anger issues who found out his best friend is banging his little sister.
“Wh-what?”
“You’ve been in there for like thirty minutes. Are you coming out soon or is it like that time at Grandpa’s funeral? I can steal a pair of Wes’ sweatpants for you. He won’t care.”
It takes my brain a moment to catch up with what the hell he’s talking about, but I groan once I do. Wes must’ve made up something to explain me being here and hiding in his bathroom. Dammit, why couldn’t he have just not told him I’m here? I consider pretending I’m in intestinal distress until he leaves, but knowing Doug, he’ll wait around until I’m feeling better out of some sense of sibling solidarity.
“Not like that. Leave me alone, weirdo! I’ll be out in a minute or two.”
Doug huffs out a laugh at my affronted tone. “Excuse me for wanting to make sure you didn’t pass out on the toilet and crack your skull open.”
“Go away!”
He laughs again and I breathe a momentary sigh of relief as I hear him retreat, but it doesn’t last for more than a second. I have to go out there and interact with him, with no idea of what kind of excuse Wesley came up with for me being here. I wait a minute and flush the toilet a few times, then attempt to put on my poker face as I wash my hands, wincing as I rub against the raw scrapes on my palms. At least the nervous sweat beading on my brow will help sell the fake stomach troubles. Maybe I’ll be able to get away with a quick greeting, then claim that I need to head home while I feel up to it. I really don’t want to go home, but what other option is there?
My pulse races a s I exit the bathroom and leave the safety of Wesley’s bedroom, heading downstairs to the kitchen and living area.
“There she is! And still wearing her own clothes.” Doug gives me a teasing smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes when he sees me enter the room. He really must be having a rough time if his amusement at my pretend predicament doesn’t pierce through his distress.
“Ariana!” Wesley says my name like he’s surprised to see me here. He clears his throat in an attempt to cover his weird reaction. “Uh, you feeling better?” His worried, nervous expression has nothing to do with my fake bathroom troubles. He’s freaking out about lying to Doug. If I wasn’t so worried myself, I’d be angry at him, but we both need to keep ourselves together before this night spirals completely out of control.
“Yeah, a little better.” I give him a weak smile. “I should probably head home though…thanks for your…uh, your…”
Wes shakes his head and steps in to help me out. “Don’t thank me yet. I couldn’t fix your car. It still won’t start.” He gives me a meaningful look.
Ugh, that’s why Doug knew I was here. My stupid piece of shit car. I cross my arms and frown back at him. “Oh. Damn. Thank’s for trying. Well…I guess…”
“I can drive you home now if you’re not up to staying for dinner.” Wes sounds so dejected as he makes the offer, and I’m barely able to disguise my own sadness at the thought. I wanted to stay with him. I was ready to accept his help in figuring my messy life out, and then lose myself in him all night.
“What about your lasagna?” I ask weakly, glancing over at the oven timer, which is only a few minutes away from buzzing. It smells incredible in here already. Yet another thing I won’t get to enjoy tonight if I go home .
“Dude, I can take you home.” Doug sounds almost affronted, like he’s upset I didn’t assume he’d be the one to help me out.
“N-no, that’s okay!” I squeak in protest, and Doug’s expression twists into a scowl.
“What did I tell you? I’m such a shitty brother that she doesn’t even trust me to drive her home.” His words are directed at Wesley, but they pierce into me like a knife.
“What are you talking about? You’re not a bad brother.”
“Yeah, I am. I don’t do shit for you. I can’t fix your car, you’re slammed with your business stuff and I don’t help because I’m too wrapped up in my own drama, and apparently I can’t even be trusted to give you a ride. I ruined your life just like I ruin everything.” Anguish is written across Doug’s face as his despairing words flow out of him.
Shame about my earlier anger knots my stomach. I’m over at his side in an instant, pulling him into a hug. “Shut up. You didn’t ruin anything. Whatever is going on with you, we’ll figure it out.”
Wes joins us, placing a hand on Doug’s shoulder. “Yeah, man. You’ve got us. So quit listening to that asshole in your head that’s catastrophizing things.”
I squeeze my brother tighter, willing some of the tension radiating from his bulky form to ease. “You suck at a lot of things, but being a brother isn’t one of them.”
Doug lets out a shuddering sound that’s a mix of a laugh and a heavy exhale, then squeezes me back before releasing the hug and stepping back. He scrubs a hand across his face and gives a tired sigh. “You’re right. I’m just… today has been a fucking disaster.”
“Then it’s a good thing your best friend and I are both here to talk you through it.” I say, giving him a reassuring smile .
“Yeah, if anyone can help your mopey ass, it’s Ari. She can do anything.” Wesley’s tone is laced with far too much affection, and my breath stutters as he turns his warm gaze on me, looking at me with what can only be described as adoration.
I quickly turn away so Doug doesn’t catch the flush rising in my cheeks, heading over to the fridge under the pretense of getting something to drink. This is going to be tough, but I can’t go home now that I know how much Doug is struggling. If Wesley keeps looking at me like that and saying things that definitely aren’t normal for us, he’ll give us away.
When I return with a can of seltzer, I make sure not to look at Wesley again. I can’t see his besotted looks and not make what’s going on between us patently obvious to Doug. “It must be bad if you’re dropping in on dinner rather than spending time with your hot girlfriend,” I say teasingly, attempting to bring my focus back to my brother.
My heart sinks when Doug visibly flinches at my words.
“Oh shit, man. What happened with Margaret?” Wes asks with a frown.
“She cheated on me.” Doug says it so matter-of-fact, like it was a foregone conclusion.
“What?! I’ll kill her!” I blurt, and Wesley’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. I don’t care that my reaction is extreme. Doug has given all of his time and energy to this woman, seeming truly happy and at ease for the first time in a long time. She always rubbed me the wrong way, and now I know why. She’s a cheating asshole.
Doug snorts in amusement. “Thought I was the one in the family with anger issues.”
“I don’t have anger issues! I just… shit, Doug. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he says, though his worn out, pained expression says otherwise. “I should’ve expected it. A woman like he r wouldn’t want anything serious with a loser like me.”
Wesley huffs, dismissing Doug’s words. “Nope. We’re not doing that. She cheated on you. That means she’s the loser.” He grabs him by the shoulders to steer him to the dining table and pushing him down into a chair. “Now sit here while I get the lasagna out of the oven.”
“Damn, dude, you made your lasagna? What is this, some kind of date?” Doug laughs and shakes his head, thankfully not catching the panicked look I exchange with Wesley.
This would be the moment to come clean. It’d be a disaster, but we could say something. I don’t though.
What kind of asshole would I be to bring up our new relationship when Doug’s just imploded? Sorry for your awful girlfriend, but guess what? Wesley and I are dating and I think I’m in love with him! No way I could do that. No, we’ll just have to get through dinner.
Wesley lets out a humorless chuckle. “I had the ingredients in the house and Ari looks like she needs a decent home-cooked meal.”
The tender concern in his voice makes my chest ache. He doesn’t deny that it’s a date, but Doug doesn’t notice. My discomfort with hiding the truth amplifies, but I swallow it down. We’ll tell Doug soon. As for our ruined date night, I guess that’s what we get for keeping it a secret at all.