Chapter 13
Scarlett
I just couldn’t believe she was gone. I turned to April saying, “This is all my fault.”
“No, honey, this is not your fault. This is that animal’s doing.”
“If I’d not been so fearful and made sure he was dead, or if I hadn't stabbed him at all. If I’d run or even died, she’d still be here. She didn’t deserve this.” Tears streamed down my face, my breath hitched, and I sucked in air, gasping and burying my face in my hands. “She had no warning. No protection. I’m so sorry, Maddy.”
My cries of anguish echoed through the empty room, a desperate plea for release from the overwhelming sorrow that threatened to consume me. My body felt heavy and immobile, as if weighed down by my emotions. Tears streamed down my face, and I could do nothing but surrender to the intensity of my grief.
April enveloped me in a warm embrace, her arms tight around my shaking frame. She didn't say anything, just held me as I let the tears flow freely down my cheeks. Time seemed to stand still as we sat there in the quiet, the only sound being my muffled sobs. Suddenly, a soft tap on the door broke through our bubble of grief and panic flooded back into my chest. These past few days had been marked by uncertainty and chaos, making every little noise or disturbance startle me.
I lifted my gaze, blinking away the tears that had welled up and caused my puffy red eyes. My makeup was smeared across my face, giving me a disheveled appearance in the reflection of the glass. I quickly spun away and rushed to my desk, desperately trying to compose myself.
A young woman, whose name I could vaguely recall from the cubicles, was standing outside my office, waiting to be let in. April looked at me with concern in her eyes, silently asking if everything was okay. My breath caught in my throat as I struggled to hold back the emotions threatening to spill out.
I lifted my head to nod, granting her permission to enter. Still sniffling and wiping at my eyes, I tried to compose myself before she reached me. She approached and April started to excuse herself, glancing at me, but I shook my head ever so slightly, silently pleading for her not to leave me alone
She caught my movements and hurried over to the desk, “Ms. Swanson is a little busy at the moment, perhaps I can help you with something?” April glanced at the day’s schedule on her tablet then raised her gaze to look at her. “I’m sorry, but you’re not on the calendar for a meeting today. Who are you?” Her voice was polite yet firm, leaving no room for misinterpretation.
“Oh, I didn’t have a meeting. I wanted to see Scarlett; she looks so different now.”
I inhaled deeply, and let out a shaky breath, trying to calm my racing heart as I took my seat. My hand shook slightly as I reached out to offer her the chair at the front of the desk.
"Please, have a seat. Excuse my appearance, I must look absolutely dreadful. I just received some devastating news and haven't had a chance to process it yet." I tried to steady my voice, hoping she wouldn't notice the tremor. "How can I help you?" My gaze was unfocused, and my mind was still reeling from the news, but I forced myself to focus on the woman in front of me.
“I remember you working so hard downstairs and hoped to ask for some advice.” She glanced around the office and then smiled. “I wanted to know how to be like you. I mean, well, you know… How I can be as productive and be able to move up in the workplace. You’re inspiring so many of us.”
I smiled but honestly couldn't offer any guidance on how it all came to be. Most of my time spent in these upper offices had been shrouded in deception and mystery. Somehow I had managed to climb to the top of the A-list before everything fell apart. The memories flooded back, a montage of late nights and early mornings, networking and schmoozing, until I finally achieved my coveted status.
I leaned my elbows on the desk and said, “Please forgive me, but I don’t recall your name.”
“Aria. Do you remember, I worked in the next cubby? Aria Quayle, I was nice to you in the coffee room when the others called you ‘scar’, and you were crying.”
I sucked in a quick breath at the thought of that and took a moment to think. I didn’t remember her doing that right away but recalled seeing her around the office.
“Thank you, Aria, I appreciate that. All I can offer is that you maintain integrity and work on not just producing what is asked, but learning how to make what you produce better. It was something my professor told me in class. It isn’t about what you do, but how you grow. I worked hard and all the time. That is all I can offer.”
A wave of weakness overtook me, my body suddenly heavy with exhaustion and a lack of will. I could feel her eyes studying me, assessing my vulnerability.
"I apologize, but I have a meeting with Mr. Clarke in a few minutes and must ask you to return to the lower level," I said, my voice strained and tired. "Perhaps we can arrange for a meeting next week?" I held out my hand for a handshake and gave a slight nod towards April. "You can check with April on Monday. Unfortunately, this week is fully booked." The air around us seemed heavy and stagnant, as if time itself was dragging on. My head throbbed with fatigue, making it difficult to concentrate on anything else.
“Of course,” she said, standing and taking my hand. “Thank you, Ms. Swanson.”
She grasped it tightly, her fingers almost too strong as they clenched my hand. She held on for a moment longer than necessary before finally turning and making her exit. The door shut behind her with a resounding thud, leaving an echoing silence in its wake. April’s eyes never left Aria as she moved down the walkway toward the stairwell.
“How did she get up here?” She asked, spinning away from the door and walking toward my desk. “The mezzanine is supposed to be off limits without an appointment for now.”
“I don’t know,” I said with a sigh. I was too scattered to think of anything but Maddy right now. I reached into my bottom drawer and retrieved my purse to find the small stash of makeup I’d remembered to pack.
I slowly opened the mirrored compact and gasped at my reflection. The once-perfectly applied makeup was now smudged and smeared, revealing a swollen shiner and black streaks from the mascara down my cheeks. My face looked like a work of abstract art, the dark lines contrasting starkly against my pale skin.
"Oh, good Lord!" I exclaimed, horrified at my appearance. "I'm a complete mess!"
Just then, the office door burst open and Christian stormed in, his face contorted with anger. “Who was that?”
April rushed over to him, attempting to explain what had just happened before I could even get a word out. “I have no idea who she was, but I guess she works downstairs,” April said.
“I need to know who she is,” he demanded.
“Her name is Aria Quayle. It felt weird… she felt weird, so I did some checking while she was speaking to Scarlett, and she does work here. Her hire date coincided with Scarlett being brought into the department, and her file indicates that she has been mostly quiet and unremarkable. Does her job but nothing of note. She wasn’t one of the ones who were part of Felicia’s crowd.”
“Get me her information, we’ll have her looked into. How did she get up here?”
“Beats me, that’s your department, dear,” April said, dipping her head toward the bottom of the stairs where the guard stood.
Christian moved toward my desk where I was frantically trying to fix my makeup and said, “Scarlett, we think it might be a good idea if we have someone take you home.”
“What? No!” I growled at him. I wanted to work on the new client and keep myself occupied. The last thing I needed to do was to be stuck in my own head all day. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout. I really just want to work, if that’s ok?”
“Are you sure?” His face was a mask of concern and trepidation.
“Yeah. I think that is what I need. If I go home, I’ll just dwell on this.” My voice choked, and I paused for a moment. “I do believe it is best that I stay occupied for the moment. April is here, and she’s wonderful. We can’t all leave and just not do our jobs, and I feel best right now with her. Maybe if Drake and Brody want to come for lunch, it would be nice?”
“Alright. If you’re sure that’s what you want,” he said, smiling warmly at me. “I’ll go chew out security and make sure no one else gets by him." He let out a heavy sigh before continuing, “Then I'll inform Graham. He's been beside himself with worry about you.” His eyes softened as he added, “Maybe when you feel up to it, you can see him, and I can steal April for a little while and check out this girl?”
“Sure, as soon as I get done fixing myself.” My lips strained and tugged upwards in a forced smile, while my forehead wrinkled in a display of anxiousness. It was a fa?ade of composure, a mask to hide the tumultuous storm within.
He kissed April on the top of her head and whispered in her ear. She nodded and kissed his cheek before he left.
She hurried back to the seat at the front of the desk and asked, “You sure you’re alright?”
I nodded. “The distraction from… what was her name?”
“Aria.”
“That’s right. Aria's sudden distraction was actually a welcome respite from everything that’s been swirling in my mind. I could feel myself spiraling, too much going on. I still can’t believe she’s gone.”
I struggled to keep my emotions in check, the tears threatening to burst forth again. I forced them back, not wanting to go backward into that dark place. I needed time to process everything, to come to terms with the loss of someone so important to me. The weight of it all felt heavy and suffocating, and I yearned for a moment of peace in the chaos. “I need time for all this and don’t want to regress.”
“I can understand that,” April said.
“It’s strange. I remember Aria, but not really. Her face looked familiar, but I don’t recall that moment she spoke of.” I kept thinking about it as I dabbed the concealer onto my eye. I paused and stared right into April’s questioning eyes. “I didn’t think anyone knew about that as a matter of fact. There were only the three of them in the coffee room that day. Felicia tried to make ‘Scar’ a thing but most in the office just thought it was short for Scarlett.”
“It’s probably a good thing that Christian is going to have a look into her background. I thought it was kind of weird, too. Suddenly? Now? At this very moment? She wants to just waltz into your office without an appointment and ask for advice? Sorry, it’s kind of cringe, if you ask me.”
I packed the makeup back into the small pouch and returned it to the drawer. She was right, there was something off about it. The firm handshake and near smirk on her face felt sinister, thinking back on it. The way she looked at me caused me to assume that it was because of my makeup mess and black eye, but upon further reflection, I realized there was more to her actions. She was studying my responses and evaluating my reactions.
“You ready?”
I stood and nodded to her. “As I’ll ever be. Do I look ok?” I swiped my hand over my outfit, trying to straighten it. I’d felt so good this morning in my casual, professional look.
“You look as beautiful as ever,” she said, tucking her arm in mine. “I guess we should go check on Graham. Christian said he was a mess, worrying about you.”
I gave her a warm smile and paused. “This is a real thing with them, isn’t it?”
She gripped my arm tighter and said, “I’d say so. Now it’s up to you.”
As we made our way towards the door, our eyes caught a glimpse of Christian at the bottom of the stairs, his voice raised in agitation as he berated the poor security guard. The man looked visibly uncomfortable, shifting from one foot to another and avoiding eye contact. Christian briefly acknowledged our presence with a nod before turning back to his tirade.
As we approached Graham's office, I could see him sitting behind his desk. His usually tidy ponytail was now undone, and his hair cascaded down beside his hands as they held up his head, resting his elbows on the desk. He seemed completely engrossed in the papers scattered across his desk, not even noticing our presence.
I softly knocked on the open door, causing him to look up at me in surprise. He hastily stood up from his desk and rushed over to greet us,
“Scarlett, are you okay?”
“I’ve been better,” I said, reaching for his outstretched hand.
“Come in. Did you need me for something?”
“Just you,” my voice came out in a small, hesitant whisper. “April is going to call Drake and Brody for a lunch meeting this afternoon. Christian thinks I should go home, but I feel like I need to work. We've been so consumed by the events of Friday that our other responsibilities are falling through the cracks. Maybe if I can focus on something else, it will help." I looked up at him, silently pleading for his understanding. “Is that okay?”
“Of course,” he said, stammering and reaching for his hair to put it back into its neat pony.
“Leave it,” I said, reaching for his hand. “I like it like that. I’ve never seen it loose like this.”
He pushed it back and agreed. April excused herself to meet with Christian and set up the meeting with the guys. Graham escorted me over to the large leather sofa on the far side of the office.
I sat down, and he asked if I wanted a drink. “Scotch? That's all I have. I could ask Georgia to bring you something different if you want?”
“Scotch sounds like just what the doctor ordered right now.” I smiled at him, feeling warmth radiate from within while watching him pour from the decanter.
I still thought it was strange to see alcohol in an office setting, but then again, I’d never been at the executive level before. It felt out of place in this professional setting, like a subtle reminder of the power dynamics at play. I knew people often met for drinks in business, but it felt so reminiscent of the old movies. My thoughts drifted to my small apartment where Maddy and I used to share cheap wine, Ben and Jerry's ice cream, and cozy blankets on nights when she wasn't away for work. We would watch old movies and imitate the exaggerated dialogue between characters with playful banter. My eyes welled up with tears once again, and I dabbed them away just as he turned to bring our drinks.
“Are you alright?” he asked, concern etched in his face.
With a grateful nod, I accepted the cold glass from his hand and took a sip of the harsh brown liquid. Settling beside me on the couch, he turned to face me with a warm smile. I leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek before setting the glass down on the nearby table.
I looked at his handsome face and wondered how I’d gotten so lucky to have had this man be so concerned for me. Reaching up, I tenderly cupped his face in my hands, the bit of stubble beneath my fingertips only added to his allure. A small spark of electricity passed between us as our eyes met, filled with unspoken emotion. “Thank you, Graham. You also saw me. As you said in the car.”
He leaned down and kissed me. “Scarlett, I…”
With a soft moan, I sank into his embrace. His arms felt strong and protective, and his scent of warmth and musk filled my senses. I wanted to hold him and be held, but I needed to work.
His lips met mine, soft and tender, gently exploring my mouth. Our kiss deepened with each passing moment, our breath mingling together in a rhythm of desire. As we pulled away, I looked into his eyes, still full of concern, but now mixed with yearning. My heart hammered in my chest as I tried to process the intensity of these feelings. I hadn't expected this from him or anyone else for that matter.
"Please," he whispered, "tell me if you need anything."
"I just need you," I murmured back, leaning in for another passionate kiss before pulling away again. "What I also need is to focus on work right now. Let’s have a look at what you were working on. Will that be okay?”
He nodded understandingly, stroking my hair and moving towards his desk to clear some papers off. "Of course."
He grabbed the chair that sat in front of the desk and pulled it around to his side, and I sat down. He’d been going over the design and copy for the new client.
“I’ve been trying to look over the preliminaries sent up this morning, but frankly couldn’t focus.”
I leaned in and began to eye the graphics and read a piece from Walter. There were three others, but one caught my eye. It was Aria’s, but it had a familiar tone to the text.
“Hmm,” I said, placing it back onto the pile with the others.
Graham’s hand landed on mine, and we looked into one another’s eyes. I wondered for a moment how I’d spent so much time without them.