Chapter 39 Rehearsing – Rory
REHEARSING
RORY
“I am super excited to be getting married tomorrow. I am super excited to be getting married tomorrow. I cannot wait to get married tomorrow.” I stared at my reflection, willing some light to seep into my eyes, some color to return to my face. But there was nothing.
The violet dress I’d chosen was lovely, made of fine silk that felt incredible against my skin.
But the smooth fabric was the only thing that felt good right now.
I hadn’t seen Rhodes since I’d left him with Gigi on the playground.
That, on top of the Tammy Harris Incident, was making me feel like hiding in his room until after the wedding, when I might be able to escape and head home.
Head home with nothing, I reminded myself. No money, no farm, no custody of Josie and Bo, and no… Rhodes.
I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror again. It was a gorgeous dress. Such a waste.
A knock on the door startled me from my reverie. “Miss Rory? It’s Philips. May I come in?”
“Sure, Philips.” I forced a smile at the butler as he entered and bowed.
“Good evening,” he said. “That’s a lovely dress, but a rather dour expression you’re wearing.”
“I’m working on it.”
He arched an eyebrow. “May I assist? Sometimes having one’s hair and makeup done lifts one’s spirits.”
“Of course. I appreciate it.” I gratefully sank down into a chair as Philips assembled his beauty arsenal. He went to work on my hair with a curling iron.
“It’s pretty incredible that you can do hair, makeup, and butler-ing.”
“Thank you.” Philips didn’t miss a beat as he gently twisted my locks into perfect, bouncy waves. “When I was young, I used to assist Mrs. Barrington with such things. She’s the one who taught me.”
“Rhodes’s mother?” I asked.
He nodded. “She was a wonderful mentor. Very patient, never critical, always encouraging.”
“She sounds special.”
“She was.” Philips flashed a brief smile. “Her family adored her. It was very sad when she died.”
“I’m sure.”
Philips was quiet for a moment before he said, “I don’t think Mr. Barrington has ever been at ease since his mother’s death.”
I startled. “That’s so… sad.”
“It is,” Philips agreed. “And I know I am speaking out of turn, but I’m telling you this for a reason. I want you to know something.”
“What?”
“I hadn’t seen him relaxed until I saw him with you. This week has been the first time, in years, that he’s seemed happy.”
My insides twisted. I wanted that to be true, but… “I don’t think he’s very happy with me right now.”
“Perhaps not,” Philips said, arranging my hair over my shoulders, “but he was. I understand there’s been some difficulty, but I don’t think you should discount real happiness.”
“Happiness is just a feeling, though.” My brow furrowed. “There are other things that are more important. Like trust. And integrity. And honesty.”
“Three essential things for any relationship,” Philips agreed, finishing with my hair. “Trust is something that is built over time. Sometimes it has to be rebuilt. And it cannot be given away freely—it must be earned.”
I nodded.
“Please relax your face so that I may work on your eyebrows,” Philips instructed. “I can vouch for Mr. Barrington’s integrity and honesty, although he isn’t perfect by any means. But he is a good man doing his best in somewhat challenging circumstances.”
I took a deep breath, weighing how much I should say to the butler. But fuck it—I was getting married in the morning. I should let it out.
“He wasn’t honest with me, Philips. He hid something from me that he should have disclosed.” I imagined my mother’s wild eyes again, talking about the investigator, and I shuddered.
“And I know that I’m the one speaking out of turn right now,” I continued, “but I can’t trust someone who hides things from me. And it’s not just that… It’s the money. I feel like he manages everything and everyone with money!”
“Completely fair,” Philips said calmly. “I would say that is an astute observation, minus the judgment.”
I sighed. “I’m not trying to judge him.” And yet, I was absolutely doing just that.
Philips tamed my eyebrows with a wand. “It can be difficult to come to Barrington Manor and adjust to what life is like here, and what life is like as a Barrington. It looks aspirational from the outside, all swimming pools and liveried staff and designer clothes. But the reality is very different, as you have so presciently discovered.”
“It isn’t ever going to stop,” I said. “Someone’s always going to want something from him.”
“Also fair. That is the nature of great wealth, I’m afraid.
” He lightly held my chin and dusted on eyeshadow.
“But as I told you when you arrived at Barrington Manor, there is much good to be had here. Not everyone can see it through their greed. You can do many wonderful things with wealth. It doesn’t have to be all Gigis and ambushes at the North Gate. ”
My cheeks heated. “Don’t remind me.”
“You have nothing to be ashamed of. Your mother is not your responsibility,” he sniffed. “Rather, you and your siblings are hers, and it sounds as if she’s abandoned that post long ago.”
“She abandoned it, but that doesn’t mean she’s gone.”
“No. She is likely just getting acquainted with the scope of all the things she can ask for,” Philips said, his voice matter-of-fact. “Tilt your chin up? I must curl your lashes.”
“I don’t want to give my mother anything else. She doesn’t deserve it,” I said, even though the sentiment made me feel ugly.
“I’m sure you’re right.” Philips started applying mascara.
“But again, sometimes we must take our judgment of others out of it. You are disappointed in Mr. Barrington’s actions, but he’s been navigating such situations since birth.
He’s skilled at maneuvering through these difficulties.
He accepts them as part of the job and deals with them accordingly. ”
“But she’s not part of a job,” I said, getting heated. “She’s my mother.”
“But she’s not acting like your mother.” Philips was frowning at me when I opened my eyes. “She’s acting like a nuisance, and she should be dealt with accordingly.”
I blinked at him.
“Mr. Barrington was forced to accept, at an early age, that some people are only out for themselves. And because he is a Barrington, he also had to accept that because of his great fortune, there were people in his life who would attempt to take and keep taking.” He held my gaze.
“Learning how to separate yourself personally from such behavior is what’s known as a coping mechanism, a term I’m sure you are familiar with as you have also grown up with dysfunction. ”
I blinked again.
Philips sighed. “What I am trying to communicate is that I believe Mr. Barrington has real feelings for you, something I have historically never seen in him. If you, in turn, have real feelings for him, I urge you to set aside your judgments and give him a chance to show you who he really is. In any long-term relationship, particularly a marriage, there are ups and downs. People nowadays don’t seem to be able to tolerate that, which is a mistake, in my opinion. ”
I opened my mouth and then closed it.
“Lip gloss,” Philips ordered. “You need to be on time for your own rehearsal dinner.”
Once he’d finished, Philips encouraged me to take a final look at myself. My hair hung in glossy waves over my shoulders, and my makeup was flawless, highlighting my eyes without looking overdone.
I turned to the butler. “Thank you, Philips. In more ways than one.”
“You are welcome, my lady.” He dropped into a bow, but not before I saw the twinkle in his eyes. “In more ways than one.”