Chapter 43
CHAPTER 43
A ngel
“This will be cold.” Dr. Williams, my new OB courtesy of Takeshi, warns me before squirting gel on my stomach.
The exam room feels more welcoming than my last appointment. What a difference having a support system will do. Although this is my second ultrasound, it’s the first with my husbands by my side. Unlike the last time, I want to see what’s on the screen. Before, I avoided getting attached by not looking at the screen, instead telling the doctor to locate my implant and get it out.
Of course, I lied to myself. I’d already formed a bond with my child but didn’t want to acknowledge the connection when I was terrified of losing the little one.
Now, although the fear is a constant companion, it’s a whisper rather than a roar. And with two men at my side who are willing to do everything in their power to ensure my survival, I don’t dwell on the negative.
I flinch as the probe connects with my belly. Takeshi and Shinji grasp my hands while we stare at the black screen. Suddenly, an image appears and my husbands flinch, instinctively squeezing my hands. A grainy picture appears but a tiny fetus doesn’t show.
My breathing shortens and every doubt resurfaces.
“Hmm.” Dr. Williams slides the probe around.
I turn panic-stricken eyes to my husbands who stare stonily at the doctor.
“Ah, here we are,” she says as a picture crystallizes on the screen.
My muscles relax and so do the matching glares on Shinji and Takeshi’s faces. We stare in awe at our baby.
“Is the baby okay?” I ask.
She smiles and the crazy beating in my chest settles to a more sedate rhythm.
“Yes, baby’s heartbeat is strong and I’m happy with their progress. Do you want to know the sex?”
“No,” all three of us say at the same time.
I giggle at our synchronicity. “The most important thing for us to know is the baby is healthy.”
Takeshi lifts my hand and kisses my knuckles. As my husbands and I marvel at the good news, Dr. Williams continues to move the probe around my stomach.
“Is there something else you’re looking for?” Shinji asks.
“I like to rule out potential issues such as fibroids. Black women like us are prone to have them and they could cause intense pain and complications during pregnancy and up to childbirth.” She slides the probe to the other side of my belly. “Well, this is unexpected.”
We return our attention to the monitor, more worried there’s a problem.
“You said you conceived although you had an implant?” she asks a note of disbelief in her voice.
“Yes, I had it removed when I discovered I was pregnant. Is there an issue?”
She blinks and shakes her head as if clearing her vision. She stares at the image of the baby again, moving the probe around my belly as if it’s a metal detector and she’s searching for buried treasure.
“Dr. Williams,” Takeshi says tightly.
“Right. Mrs. Kimura, you seem to be carrying fetuses at two different stages in development.”
“What… How?” I sputter attempting to wrap my head around the impossibility.
“Shocking, am I right? Your case was rare enough as is, but what you’re seeing is two fetuses in two different wombs.” She runs the probe again to show us the difference between the two babies.
Shinji, Takeshi, and I stare at the screen then each other speechless.
“Mrs. Kimura?”
I turn to the doctor in a daze. One baby is scary enough, but two?
“Chiisai senshi no megami, breathe.” Takeshi’s soothing voice penetrates the panic overtaking me.
On my other side, Shinji rubs my arm. “We’ll make a plan and take all precautions to keep you safe.”
“Yes, you’re my patient, and my expertise is in high-risk pregnancies. I have your medical history, you, your doula, and your husbands will continue to advocate for you. And I assure you, in the state of California, I have the highest success rates in delivery outcomes for moms and babies.”
I nod, slightly mollified. “I’m having twins.” I glance between my men and the monitor.
Oh my God, I’m having twins!
“You know what this means, don’t you?” Shinji asks.
I stare at him with a blank look.
“We’ll need to make two blankies instead of one.”
Stunned silence dominates the ride home as Takeshi, Shinji, and I try to absorb my diagnosis. In all truth, Shinji and Takeshi have already accepted the news, they’re holding off on their excitement until I get a handle on how I feel about it.
I’m fucking terrified.
But underneath it all, I’m super excited. I rub my stomach, amazed at the miracles that have gotten me to this point.
“Do you think you’ve both fathered a child?” I whisper, fixating on the possibility our children will carry both their DNAs in my body.
“That would be the case, regardless. Any child from your body is our child.” Takeshi leans over me and kisses my forehead.
“I know, but you remember that cringey sperm race game you and Shinji talked about? It’s probable neither of you will ever have to worry about racing each other again.”
“Cringey? That was one of my more brilliant ideas.” Shinji leans over my ear and whispers, “The purpose was never really to see who impregnated you but to ensure you got pregnant by one of us. Even if doing so meant fucking you nonstop.”
Takeshi turns my face toward his and presses his lips against mine, nipping my lip until I welcome him inside. His hand trails a path up my thigh. He skims under my dress but stops on top of my panties. “I’m always game for a race, more now that you’re already carrying our children.”
Shinji kisses my shoulder and caresses my breasts. “Damn, knowing our baby is growing inside you is so hot.” He raises my leg over his, allowing Takeshi an opening to pull the gusset of my panties free and enter me with one long stroke.
I moan into Shinji’s mouth, my prior anxieties melting away under their attention.
“Takeshi,” our driver’s voice splashes cold water on our activities. “There’s a car at the entrance. What would you like me to do?”
I’m slow to react, but Shinji’s stiffness tells me he knows who it is. When I glimpse the person exiting from their car, I gasp.
“What is she doing here?” Anger and confusion play havoc in his voice.
I straighten and clasp his leg. “So, there’s something I forgot to tell you.” I relay my confrontation with his mother. When Shinji stares at me in silence, I try to shrug away my unease. “What? I didn’t injure her. Not physically. And she deserved the read of her life for hurting you the way she’s done all these years.”
“You went behind my back?”
I raise my chin defiantly. “Yes, and I’m not sorry.”
“You threatened my mother to protect me?” Shinji’s disbelief begins to rub me the wrong way.
Like I would sit and allow the disrespect to go unaddressed? Not when it comes to my men. Not while I have breath in me and a biblical thirst for vengeance. No, sir.
“Of course, you’re my husband. And I’d do it again if I think anyone from your family has ill intentions toward you. You know what? I’ll handle your cousin, too.” I push away from my husbands and exit the car to charge the other pregnant lady.
Her condition doesn’t faze me, because my family’s peace is more important than her condition. Before I get close enough, Takeshi’s arms pull me back, allowing Shinji to advance. I swing around on him, but he shakes his head.
“Shinji needs to do this himself.” He grins. “But he appreciates your willingness to fight his battles. For now, let’s observe.”
“Fine,” I huff and turn around, walking more sedately, my curiosity growing the closer I get to the younger woman.
“I’m not here to cause any trouble, I promise.” Hikaru’s wary stare appeases a petty part of me and convinces me my message to Aya found at least one receptive person. “After your wife spoke to Auntie Aya, I had time to think and remember the years we grew up together. No one told me why you disappeared after Fumio died. Auntie Aya just told the family we’d never see you again.” She reaches her hand out to Shinji but he doesn’t accept it. She allows it to hang for a few seconds before letting it fall to her side. “That first summer before my freshman year, I’d hoped you would defy my aunt and show up.” She sniffs and wipes her nose. “But you never did. And each summer that passed, I lost hope of ever seeing you again, but that’s not the case any longer.”
Shinji looks off to the side. “What do you want?” His jaw flexes as he bites out the words.
Hikaru holds her stomach. “Most of the family still lives in Minnesota. And this may be asking a lot, but even if you don’t see a reason to rekindle your relationship with anyone else, I’d like you to think about getting to know me again. More importantly, I’d like our kids to grow up knowing each other.”
Shinji swallows, his eyes glossy with unshed tears. “I don’t think you know what you’re asking. No one in our family or your husband’s family would approve of what I do for a living.”
Hikaru turns in a circle, taking in the large, ornate gate and driveway beyond. From this distance, none of the Kimura homes are visible.
“Yeah, I’m guessing you have a level of wealth that doesn’t come with clean hands.”
Shinji shrugs. “What I do brought my husband and wife into my life. I’ll never regret that.”
Hiraku glances behind him to meet my and Takeshi’s gazes. She doesn’t mention our special relationship, but her curiosity is evident in her arched brows. Her reaction ends there. No judgment, no disgust; just curiosity, then acceptance.
Although Takeshi and I stand to the side, we’re close enough to step in if necessary.
“I’m glad you have people who fight for you since your family failed you.” She takes a deep breath. “I’ve said what I came to say, and I hope one day you’ll accept my invitation. I’ll wait however long it takes.”
Hiraku turns to her car. Instead of entering the driver’s side, she opens the back passenger door. “I almost forgot. This is for you.” She takes out a shoebox and hands it to Shinji. “Auntie admitted when she kicked you out, she made you leave empty-handed. I figured you could add one of these to Fumio’s altar. If you have one set up.”
Shinji shakily takes the box and opens it. The tears barely holding on, slide silently down his face.
Takeshi and I share a glance before we close the distance to look over Shinji’s shoulder. Takeshi’s nostrils flare and his mustache bristles while he tries to contain his emotions, while I choke up at the sight and join Shinji’s tear fest.
The box contains photographs of Fumio. Solo pictures, pictures with Shinji where it’s difficult, albeit not impossible under intense scrutiny, to distinguish which brother is which, and pictures with the extended Nakashima family.
All the images depict happier innocent times. Years of love and delight I envy, but I don’t begrudge Shinji for that joy. Having those happy moments is a part of him and why even without the mementos of his brother, he lived a life honoring him.
Hikaru gets in her car and we watch her make a U-turn and drive down the road until she disappears. Takeshi and I remain silent while he grapples with his emotions.
“Shit, I don’t have her number,” Shinji says.
I breathe a sigh of relief. “Then let’s go get it.” I sprint to the car.
“What?” Shinji says.
“You want her number. What Shinji wants, Shinji gets. Remember?” I yell as I dive into the back of the car.
Takeshi chuckles. “She isn’t wrong. What are you waiting for?”
My husbands quickly catch up to me and our driver floors it, speeding to intercept Shinji’s cousin before she gets to a major intersection. I hold onto the grab handle as our driver takes our urgency to heart and drives like he’s a Formula 1 driver instead of a bodyguard/chauffeur.
Within minutes, the car spins to a stop in front of Hikaru’s car. Shinji leaps out while Takeshi and I roll the window down to observe from inside. The only threat Hikaru poses is one to our tear ducts, but she’s just as likely to fall victim to a crying jag as me.
She winds down her window, proving me right. Tears streak down her face, but she faces Shinji with a hopeful expression.
“I can’t call you to tell you when and where to meet if I don’t have your number.”
A smile breaks out on Hikaru’s face. For the first time, I see a small resemblance to her and Shinji.
I pat my belly and speak to my babies for the first time. “Between the Kimura’s and Nakashima’s you’re going to have so much family you’ll never know what it’s like to be alone.”