Essence of his Soul

Chapter 16

I woke up the following day after what felt like an entire night of tossing and turning. Sleep had barely touched me, and when I finally dragged myself out of bed, I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. I threw on my favorite lavender sweatpants and an old purple T-shirt, hoping the comfort would somehow balance the mess in my head. When I shuffled into the kitchen, ready to get that jolt of caffeine to jumpstart my day, I opened the cabinet, and of course, no coffee.

Just perfect.

I mumbled a few choice words under my breath and settled for some warm milk while I half-listened to the news. The weatherman was talking about ice and freezing rain coming later in the day, and just hearing that made me grumble even more. By the time I burnt the bacon and overcooked the eggs, I knew this was not about to be a good day.

I was mad; mad at Mark for playing games and even more furious at myself for letting him pull me into his nonsense.

"Stupid," I muttered, yanking the vacuum out of the hall closet like it had personally offended me. "You haven’t learned a damn thing in two years," I scolded myself. Grabbing the gingerbread cookie-scented carpet freshener, I shook it over the living room carpet like I was punishing the dirt for existing. Each sprinkle felt like a release of the tension boiling inside me. Then, I stalked into the kitchen for the furniture polish, slamming the cabinet door harder than necessary. Tamara’s words from last night echoed in my head, loud and taunting, but the idea of seducing Mark, that ship had sailed. It was never going to happen.

I wasn’t chasing after him. Not now, not ever. He left me, walked away like we didn’t matter, and made it crystal clear he didn’t want to commit. He really thinks he can just show up, discover we have a son, and offer me some half-baked, loveless marriage. Boy, bye. What kind of fool did he think I was? If anybody was playing games, it sure wasn’t me.

The anger in my chest bubbled over, and I grabbed the vacuum. Flipping the switch, I let the loud hum drown out my thoughts, pushing it across the carpet like I could vacuum up my frustration. Back and forth, back and forth, the motions repetitive but oddly therapeutic. I didn’t stop there. Before I knew it, I was on a mission, cleaning the entire house like my sanity depended on it.

From one room to the next, I let my anger fuel me. I scrubbed the bathrooms until the tiles sparkled and wiped down every surface like I was erasing the nonsense Mark had brought into my life. When his text said he was waiting for the roads to clear before heading over, I scoffed at my phone. Perfect. More time to stew.

I was convinced last night had been nothing more than his way of trying to manipulate me into doing what he wanted. Well, that wasn’t happening. Not again.

By the time the sun had dipped below the horizon, I’d polished the last wooden table, and exhaustion finally hit me. I collapsed onto the sofa, taking in the fresh, clean smell of the house. At least something good had come out of this mess. With a toddler running around, I rarely had the time—or energy—to deep clean the house, so I silently, begrudgingly, thanked Mark for giving me the time today. Damn him. I wasn’t about to give him all the credit, though.

The dryer buzzed, snapping me out of my thoughts. I dragged myself off the couch and went to pull the load of clothes out, folding each item with deliberate precision. My phone buzzed again. Another text from Mark.

The snowplow just got here. We’ll be heading your way shortly.

I stared at the message for a moment, my fingers gripping a tiny T-shirt. I wondered what I’d say to him when he showed up. I wanted answers, plain and simple. He wasn’t going to skate by on charm or empty promises. Not this time.

As I folded Tyler’s clothes, I ran through the possible conversations, debating how much to reveal without giving away too much. The last thing I wanted was for Mark to know how much his rejection had cut me. I wasn’t about to lay my heart bare for him again, but he owed me the truth. I needed to know what this was—why he was here—and whether I could trust a single word.

I was so wrapped up in my racing thoughts I barely heard the doorbell the first time. It rang again, and frowning, I walked to the door.

I opened it, and there stood Malcolm. "What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to keep my surprise from showing.

He smiled and stepped inside, bringing the cold air with him. "Do I need a reason to see you?"

Before I could answer, he pulled me close and kissed me on the mouth like he was trying to prove something. His tongue slipped past my lips, and I pulled back, stunned. What in the world had gotten into him?

I shut the door quickly, trying to wrap my head around what had just happened. "Is something wrong?" I asked, noticing a shift in his usual calm, collected demeanor.

Malcolm stared down at me, his expression softening. "No, I’m going to miss you, that’s all." His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. "I’m leaving in the morning, and I wanted to try to convince you to come with me one last time."

This wasn’t the first time he’d asked me to go down to South Carolina with him for the holidays to meet his family, and every time, I’d given him the same answer.

"I already told you I can’t. My family’s coming for the holiday."

He shrugged, flashing that charming smile of his. "A man won’t know unless he asks." Then, his smile faltered just a little, and he gestured toward the sofa. "Come on, sit down. I need to talk to you."

I hesitated. "What’s going on, Malcolm?"

He winked at me, but something about the moment felt off. He took my hand and led me to the sofa, pulling me close as we sat. My heart sank; I had a feeling I wouldn’t like what was coming next.

"Malcolm, just tell me."

He smiled again, but this time, it was nervous, his grip on my hands tightening. "I didn’t want to leave without telling you how I feel."

I opened my mouth to speak, but he shook his head, cutting me off.

"Please, let me finish." His grip was almost too firm now. "Essence, I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life making you and Tyler happy."

Before I could process his words, he pulled a ring out of his pocket and slid it onto my finger. "It belonged to my grandmother," he whispered, staring at me like he’d just given me the world.

I stared down at the ring, my heart sinking like a stone. It was beautiful, with clusters of diamonds in a breathtaking setting. I blinked, trying to hide the tears threatening to spill over. Why couldn’t it be Mark slipping a ring on my finger, telling me he loved me? The ring was beautiful, no question about that, but I felt absolutely nothing. I didn’t want to admire it or feel that rush of joy I should’ve felt. Instead, all I wanted to do was cry. Because I felt nothing for Malcolm. He must’ve thought my tears were happy because he leaned in and kissed me again, excitement lighting up his eyes when he pulled back.

"Sweetheart, I know we’ll be great together. I’ll do everything possible to make you the happiest woman."

I swallowed hard, trying to find the words to stop this before it went too far. "Malcolm, I—"

"Please," he interrupted, kissing me again before I could object. "Don’t say anything until I get back."

I sat there, stunned and unsure of what to do. I should’ve stopped him, should’ve said something right then. But I couldn’t. I was too shocked, too overwhelmed. And now… now it was too late.

As soon as Malcolm stood up and said, “The weather forecast calls for freezing rain this evening, so I’d better get a move on,” I felt relief. I practically floated to the door with him, eager to see him out as fast as possible. Mark was about to show up with Tyler any minute now. The tension between Malcolm and Mark the last time they were in the same room, you could’ve cut it with a knife. I wasn’t in the mood for a rerun of that drama.

I swung the door open, thinking I could hurry this along, but Malcolm had to make things complicated. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into a kiss—hard and needy, like he was trying to make a point. His lips stayed on mine far too long, and just as I was about to push him away, I heard a sharp tapping on the storm door. I jumped back like I’d been caught doing something wrong.

“Mark!” I gasped, feeling my heart slam against my chest.

His eyes locked on mine, and I froze in place. There was no mistaking the anger written all over his face. Tyler was fast asleep in his arms, his little head resting on Mark’s broad shoulder. Mark opened the storm door and stepped inside, bringing a gust of cold air.

“It looks like I arrived just in time,” he said, his voice calm but icy, his eyes flicking between me and Malcolm like he was about to blow.

I forced a smile, trying to act like everything was fine. “Malcolm was just leaving.”

Mark’s gaze shifted to Malcolm, who stood there grinning like a cat who got into the cream. “Then I suggest you get a move on,” Mark said, his voice so low and dangerous that even I felt a chill.

I jumped in quickly. “Yes, yes, the snow’s getting pretty heavy. You don’t want to get caught in it.”

Malcolm didn’t even flinch. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying himself. “Now that I’ve given Essence her Christmas present, I’ll be on my way,” he said, looking directly at Mark, making sure he had the last word.

My heart thudded in my chest. Don’t say it, please don’t say it , I begged silently.

But Malcolm wasn’t done. He pulled me closer, that smug grin plastered on his face. “Let me be the first to tell you... Essence and I are officially engaged.”

I felt my stomach drop like a stone. Did he really say that? I couldn’t even get my mouth to work as Mark’s eyes zeroed in on my hand—the hand with Malcolm’s ring snugly wrapped around my finger. I watched Mark’s jaw tighten, his dark eyes locking onto mine like he was waiting for me to say it wasn’t true. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.

“Congratulations. You’re a lucky man,” Mark said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, the fake smile on his face making my skin crawl. But his eyes—those eyes—stayed glued to mine, full of pain and fury.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I looked away, but I still felt his stare burn into me as he brushed past, carrying Tyler down the hall without another word.

Tears stung my eyes as I wriggled out of Malcolm’s grasp, my anger barely contained. “Why did you tell him that?” I hissed through clenched teeth, keeping my voice low so Mark wouldn’t overhear.

Malcolm blinked, looking genuinely confused. Then he flashed me a smile like everything was fine. “I’m sorry. I got a little carried away. But you haven’t said no. So we’re engaged until you tell me otherwise.”

I tried to tell you no, but you weren’t listening! I wanted to scream, but instead, I just stood there, feeling trapped. I didn’t want to ruin Malcolm’s holiday, and deep down, I wasn’t ready to deal with everything going on with Mark either. So, for now, I’d keep the ring, let Malcolm have his moment, and figure it all out later. One mess at a time.

“Are we still on for New Year’s Eve?” Malcolm asked, leaning in for another kiss.

I had almost forgotten about his law firm’s holiday party. “Sure,” I muttered. It wasn’t like I had any other plans.

He seemed satisfied. “Good. Merry Christmas. I’ll call you when I get to my parents’ place.”

I nodded, watching him head out the door as the snow continued to fall.

Once his silver BMW disappeared down the street, I closed the door and let out a deep, shaky breath. Finally.

I headed straight for the kitchen, not even bothering to think about dinner yet. First things first—I had to get this damn ring off my finger.

I stared down at it. It was a lovely ring, no doubt about that, but it didn’t mean a thing to me. It came from the wrong man. I tugged at it, but it wouldn’t budge.

Great. Just great.

Trying to clear my head, I focused on making dinner. Beef and broccoli stir-fry. Something simple. All I had to do was put the contents in the skillet with a fourth cup and simmer until ready. The routine of cooking helped distract me from everything else.

I was stirring the broccoli when I heard tiny footsteps coming down the hall. I turned and scooped Tyler up into my arms, hugging him tight. His sweet little voice melted some of the tension.

“How’s my baby?” I asked, smiling as he wrapped his arms around my neck.

“Ma-Ma,” he said, his wide eyes lighting up when I reached for the cookie jar.

I handed him a cookie and set him down on the floor, my back to the door. I could feel Mark’s presence the second he walked into the room. My heart jumped into my throat, and I took a deep breath before I turned around.

“The weather’s getting bad. You’re welcome to stay if you’d like,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

There was a pause, then finally, “Thank you.”

“I’ve started dinner,” I added, needing to fill the silence.

“Good. I’m starving.”

The weight of everything unsaid hung heavy in the air. I could feel his eyes on me, and when I finally turned around, his expression made my stomach twist. Mark stood there, arms crossed, his jaw tight, and his eyes full of unspoken questions.

“Mark, I—”

He cut me off with a sharp shake of his head. “No need to explain.” Then he picked up Tyler and walked into the living room.

I turned back to the stove, my mind spinning. The rest of the evening, even dinner, passed in a blur. Tyler got cranky, and I was grateful for the distraction. When Mark offered to put him to bed, I practically ran to my room, needing breathing space.

What was I thinking, inviting him to stay? Even with him in the guest room, knowing he was in the house had me on edge.

I jumped into the shower, hoping the hot water would wash away the confusion in my head. I let the steam and heat soothe my tense muscles for a few minutes. But then, I felt it—a shift in the air. Even before I wiped the water from my eyes, I knew he was there.

Through the mist clinging to the sliding shower door, I saw him. Mark leaned casually against the bathroom door frame like he had every right to be there. And where the hell was his sweatshirt? Clearly, he had already made himself at home. His bare arms were folded across his chest, and one hip was cocked against the frame like he didn’t have a care in the world. Shoes gone, feet bare, he looked utterly relaxed—as if he was watching TV instead of me standing naked under the spray of water. I was anything but calm. Ever since Mark had shown up tonight, my heart hadn’t stopped racing, my thoughts had been a tangled mess, and now here he was, staring at me like I was the only thing in the room that mattered.

I had shut the door to my bedroom but left the door to my adjoining bathroom wide open so the mirror wouldn’t fog up. At least, that’s what I told myself. But deep down, I knew better. I knew Mark would come looking for me as soon as Tyler drifted off to sleep. And maybe, just maybe, I wanted him to find me. Now he was standing there, but instead of joining me under the hot water as I’d imagined, he just stared. His eyes followed the slow motion of my hands as I slid the washcloth across my body. The intensity of his gaze sent shivers down my spine, making the heat of the water seem insignificant.

In my mind, it wasn’t the washcloth anymore. It was his hands moving across my skin, his touch igniting sparks I had been trying to suppress all night. But instead of acting on the tension thickening the air between us, Mark just stood there, soaking in the view, his expression unreadable. I tried to keep my composure under his watchful eyes. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

“Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to join me?” I asked, my voice low and a little unsteady.

For a split second, the corner of his mouth lifted in that familiar, crooked smile that always got to me. “That depends,” he said, his voice deep, rich, and full of promise. “You ready for everything that comes with that?”

I swallowed hard, my heart racing at his words. Was I ready? I didn’t know, but the heat building between us was undeniable, and every part of me ached for him. My breath hitched as I met his eyes, the dark intensity in his gaze stirring something deep inside me that I couldn’t ignore.

“Why don’t you find out?” I whispered, my voice barely louder than the water hitting the shower floor. I had no idea where this sudden boldness came from, but there it was. Out in the open. The challenge hanging in the air between us.

Mark’s eyes darkened, and for a second, I thought he might keep standing there, watching me. But then, with a smooth, deliberate movement, he pushed off the doorframe and stepped into the bathroom, his eyes never leaving mine. His bare feet padded across the tile floor as he closed the distance between us, and my pulse quickened, anticipation thrumming through my veins.

Without a word, he reached for the shower door and pulled it open, the misty steam spilling into the room. His presence filled the small space, the heat between us magnifying tenfold. I felt my breath catch as his gaze swept over my wet, exposed skin, and I felt the urge to cover myself. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. How he looked at me made me feel like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Still wearing jeans, Mark stepped into the shower, his body brushing against mine as he slid the door shut behind him. The water hit his skin, and I watched it run down his broad chest, glistening over the hard lines of muscle. Seeing him—so close, so real—made my head spin. He lifted his hand and gently cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing lightly over my damp skin. The touch was so soft and tender that it sent a shiver through me.

“Essence,” he murmured, his voice low and rough. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.”

My heart clenched at his words, the weight of everything between us—the years apart, the misunderstandings, the longing—hanging heavy in the air. I reached up, resting my hand on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath my fingertips.

“You don’t have to wait anymore,” I whispered, my voice trembling with emotion.

He let out a low growl, a sound that sent a rush of heat through me, and before I knew it, his lips were on mine.

The kiss wasn’t soft or gentle—it was hungry, desperate, like we were both trying to make up for lost time. His hands gripped my waist, pulling me closer, and I melted into him, the water cascading over us as we kissed with a fire that had been building for far too long.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, my body pressing against his. Every inch of me was alive, every nerve buzzing with electricity. I had never felt this way before—like I was drowning and breathing all at once, completely consumed by him. When he finally pulled back, we were both breathless, our foreheads resting against each other’s. His hands stayed on my hips, holding me close as if he was afraid to let go.

“I need you, Essence,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with desire.

I looked into his eyes, the vulnerability there taking my breath away. “I need you too, Mark,” I admitted, my voice barely a whisper. It was the truth—something I had been running from for far too long. But there was no running now, no hiding from how we felt. Not anymore.

He smiled, then that crooked, irresistible smile and my heart swelled with emotion. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead before pulling me closer, his arms wrapping around me as the water continued to rain down on us, washing away all the doubt and fear. In that moment, there was no past, no future—just us, standing together in the heat of the shower, ready to finally take the leap.

Then he lowered his mouth to mine, giving me the kiss I’d been craving all day.

In the distant recesses of my mind, I knew it would be wise to halt what he was about to do. But my mind was weak and shaky, and my body limp. I no longer had the willpower to utter a single protest.

Mark held my face between his hands as he studied me. “You can still say no.”

His mouth was only inches from mine. “Do you want me to say no?” I whispered.

He drew in a deep breath and then let it out. “Not on your life. But I want you to understand that once I start, I may be unable to stop.”

I felt his uneven breath on my cheek. “Then what are you waiting on? Take those jeans off.”

His brow arched with uncertainty. “Are you sure?”

I nodded with consent. “Why are you asking questions when you could be kissing me?”

“Because I want you to want this as much as I do,” he said, waiting for a reply. “Do you want me, Essence?”

I brushed past him and stepped out of the shower, the steam swirling around me like a soft mist. Reaching for my robe hanging on the back of the door, I slid it over my damp skin, the plush fabric clinging to me as I tied the belt around my waist. As I turned around, I caught his puzzled reflection in the mirror and felt a rush of confidence. My lips curled into a slow smile, and I let my tongue glide across my bottom lip, savoring the moment.

“Yes,” I whispered, the word dripping with satisfaction and anticipation like I was finally giving in to what I wanted.

* * *

My senses spun by the scent of her freshly showered body. An overwhelming need to possess her curled in my gut. “Repeat it.”

The sparks from her eyes weren’t hard to miss, but that was not enough. I needed to hear those words again and again. I’d been dead serious when I decided I wasn’t going to make love to her until she made the first move. It had to be her decision, not mine, that brought her to me.

Essence’s breasts rose and fell gently with each shaky breath. “I want you, Mark. I’ve always wanted you.”

I heard enough. What mattered most was being with the woman standing before me.

I closed the distance between us and covered her lips with my mouth, kissing her with all the passion and hunger that had been building since I had entered the room. I pressed her firmly into the wall with my body. The soft suction of her breasts pressed against my chest. The hitch in her breathing told me she was fully aware of my aching erection.

I reached between us, my fingers quick and sure as I opened her robe, exposing her breasts.

“This robe...is ...driving me ...crazy,” I growled between hungry kisses, shuddering when the soft warmth of her right breast brushed against the back of my knuckles.

“Then take it off,” she managed to say, sounding breathless and bothered.

“You shouldn’t have put it on,” I hissed, and she released a soft chuckle. “I guess you wanted me to work for it, huh?”

“Something like that,” she teased.

I untied the belt with one hand and continued to explore with the other.

“It’s...uh...” Essence bit her lip and cried out when my hand seared down her abdomen and found the heat of her.

“This...robe...” I hardly recognized my voice as I worked it over her shoulders and stiff-armed pushed it away. “…is fucking coming off.”

I saw the desire in her eyes while she watched me with anticipation. She looked ravaged and willing, and I groaned with the rush of desire that knotted my groin. What I had believed to be merely a moment of physical need had somehow ripped at my soul. No longer was my interest just for the sake of my son. I wanted Essence. All of her.

The robe fell in a heap on the taupe-carpeted floor. And my eyes took a moment to appreciate every delicious inch. Her breasts were full and round, the weight of them heavy and firm. Her aureoles were chocolate, her nipples delicate and erect.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” I murmured.

“Touch me,” she whispered boldly.

Those two words damn near drove me over the edge. I reached out, traced a finger around Essence's erect nipple, and felt a tremor race through her.

“Like this?”

Eyes closed, she moaned softly. “Or like this?” I rolled her nipple between my finger and my thumb, and she whimpered.

“Tell me what else you want,” I coaxed while my finger traveled down her abdomen, then painted figure eights at the inside of her thighs.

She clutched my shoulders to keep from falling. “Your mouth. I want your mouth,” she murmured.

Before Essence could catch her breath, I hauled her into my arms and carried her over to the bed. My eyes were glued to her, drinking in the slimness of her waist and the darker tangle of hair at the juncture of her thighs. Her breath came out in shallow breaths as she watched me remove my wet blue jeans and boxers. I reached for my wallet, tore the package open with my teeth, and rolled the condom on. I was surprised I even had the presence of mind to think about her protection.

“Look at me,” I commanded while I positioned myself between her parted thighs. “I want to see your eyes when I come inside.”

Her nod was all I needed. Instead, her hips rose to meet me, her back arched in invitation. I watched the depths of her eyes as I thrust into Essence’s body. Her lips parted in pleasure, and I had to grit my teeth because she felt so damn good. I pushed deeper, burying myself. I started out slow, gathering my will. The extreme pleasure I felt at that moment came out in a rough sigh as I battled to hold on to my composure for as long as possible. I worked my hands into her hair, hanging at her shoulders, and kept her eyes fixed firmly on me, searching for any resistance or a sign that I had read her wrong or she had changed her mind. Nothing. Essence locked her legs around me and held on, gripping my shoulders.

Thank God! Because there was no way I could have stopped, not with her walls tightening snugly around my erection.

Determined to hold off for as long as he could, I leaned down and took a nipple into my mouth. Essence whimpered and tilted her head back, her eyes closed, her lips trembling. I sensed she was on the verge of an orgasm. Good, because I wasn’t very far behind. She wrapped her legs around my waist, and I pumped my hips as we rode the storm together.

Beyond that point, I stopped thinking of anything but the raw passion that blocked everything from my brain as a climax ripped through Essence. I plunged deeper inside her until my body convulsed uncontrollably.

I wilted against her chest, and my breath came out in ragged gasps to match hers. I held her tightly, reveling in her soft skin, the taste of her still lingering on my tongue and lips. I had experienced every brisk beat of her heart against my chest and each lingering pulsation where we were still joined. But as the sensation began to subside, awareness struck me like a fist in the face.

Essence was doing something to me—something I hadn’t expected or could control. She wasn’t just a beautiful woman. She was more than that, more than I imagined her to be. The way she made me feel? The feeling was wild and intense, something I couldn’t shake even if I tried. And believe me, I tried.

But the truth hit me like a freight train. This wasn’t just about sex. It wasn’t about how good she looked or what she did to my body. Nah, she had unleashed something deep inside me that went beyond physical gratification. It was bigger than all that. Essence had cracked open a part of me I kept locked away, and now I knew—I would never be the same again.

I wanted her. Not just sexually but in every way possible. My needs had grown into something I couldn’t even keep in check. It was almost like an obsession, but not the kind of obsession that comes and goes. No, this was different. Essence had gotten into my heart, twisted it up, and the truth? It rocked me.

She had me feeling all kinds of things I wasn’t ready for, yet it was too late to turn back. I was in deep. But then reality smacked me right in the face: She’s engaged to someone else.

I jerked up, my body reacting before my mind could catch up.

“What’s wrong?” Essence’s voice was softly worried, and it sliced right through me.

The ring on her finger sparkled, taunting me. I couldn’t even look at her. I reached for my pants and rose from the bed. “Get some rest,” I mumbled, knowing those words weren’t enough, but it was all I had. Then, like a damn coward, I walked out of her room.

I was letting my emotions run the show, and I hated that. But it was the truth—plain and simple. Essence Monroe had me all twisted up, and it wasn’t just about the physical anymore. Nah, this was way deeper. It was emotional, and I wasn’t ready for it.

Essence had torn down every damn wall I’d built around myself. I thought I could control it and have her in my life without catching feelings, without letting her get too close. But I was dead wrong. So wrong. She had me in knots, and now I had to figure out what I would do about it.

I closed my eyes, exhaling hard, knowing one thing for sure—I needed a minute. We should’ve talked about the ring and what it really meant before I let my dick take the wheel. But I couldn’t walk away from her again. I’d be damned if I let that happen.

We would have that conversation as soon as I had myself together, regardless of whether she was ready.

* * *

I was fuming—full-on, breathing fire, like a dragon ready to burn down everything in sight. Who does Mark think he’s messing with?

I glared at myself in the mirror, seeing the evidence of what just happened between us all over my face—my lips bruised from his kisses, my cheeks flushed, and my eyes still burning from the heat.

Our reunion had been everything I remembered and then some. But before I even had the chance to catch my breath, before I could figure out how I felt, Mark had jumped up like his ass was on fire and disappeared into the other room.

Oh no, he didn’t.

“We’ll see about that,” I muttered under my breath. Tightening my robe around my waist, I marched out of my room, through the hallway, and straight into the guest room like I had a bone to pick. And I did.

Mark was lying flat on his back, hands behind his head, looking all calm and relaxed like nothing just happened. Like he hadn’t just rocked my world and then ran off like a coward.

“How dare you!” I shouted, feeling the heat rise in me all over again.

“Not now, Essence,” Mark said, his voice low and full of warning.

I wasn’t going to be brushed off like that. “Oh, yes, now!” My nostrils flared as I took a deep breath, my chest rising and falling so fast I could barely keep up. I stormed over to the bed, standing over him, glaring. He didn’t even flinch. Just lay there, naked, looking like the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen with the stubbled jawline that made my knees weak. Thick thighs and muscular calves tangled in the sheets. My eyes trailed over him, down his broad chest, his flat stomach, to where the sheets barely covered what I knew was underneath.

God, he was distracting as hell.

I shook my head, snapping my eyes back up to his face, furious all over again. “I want an answer, Mark, and I want it now!”

He groaned, running a hand over his face like I was the one stressing him out. “Woman, if you don’t give me a minute to think, I swear—”

“ A minute ?!” I scoffed, my voice rising. “How dare you make love to me like that, like a damn savage, and then—”

Before I could finish, he grabbed me and pulled me down onto the bed beside him. In one swift move, he rolled on top of me, pinning me beneath him like he knew exactly how to shut me up.

“Did I hurt you?” His voice was softer now, but his grip on my chin was firm, making me meet his eyes.

I stayed quiet, the anger still swirling inside me, mixing with something else—something I didn’t want to admit was there. He tightened his hold on me, his eyes searching mine. “Essence, answer me.”

“No,” I finally said, my voice barely above a whisper. No, he didn’t hurt me. Not physically, anyway.

His grip softened, but he didn’t move. Just kept staring down at me with those intense eyes that had me melting and furious all at once. I couldn’t look at him any longer, so I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the confusion and the pain that was bubbling up inside me.

Why couldn’t he just let me be?

“Before I explain my actions, answer one question.”

His voice was steady, but I could feel the tension behind it. My heart thudded in my chest as I swallowed the knot of fear that had formed in my throat.

“What is it?" I asked softly, unsure of where this was headed.

Tilting his chin, Mark gave me a sidelong glance, his dimple momentarily appearing before his expression turned serious again. “Are you engaged to Malcolm?”

That question hit me hard, even though I’d already decided. “No.”

“Then take his ring off your finger.”

“Alright,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.

“ Now , Essence,” he demanded, his tone firm but not harsh.

I reached for my finger, my heart racing. Fumbling, yet the ring slid off easily this time, almost like it knew it didn’t belong there. I set it on the nightstand beside me, letting out a small, shaky breath. “Satisfied?”

Mark’s eyes softened just a little, though his expression remained serious. “Yes,” he replied.

I pressed my lips together, my pulse still hammering in my chest as I waited for what he would say next. There was something different in his demeanor, something raw and unguarded.

“This is very difficult for me to say,” he began, his gaze locking with mine, “but here goes.” He paused for a moment as if gathering his thoughts. “I thought I could keep things simple and be an arrangement without emotional involvement. But that’s not the case anymore. You gotta brotha hooked.” His voice wavered slightly, the weight of his confession hanging in the air. “At first, I thought it was just because of Tyler, but it’s more than that. I felt it even before I saw dude’s ring on your finger.”

I felt a lump forming in my throat as he spoke. “Me too,” I admitted, my voice small.

Mark’s eyes darkened, his voice dropping as he continued. “What just happened in your shower… scared the hell out of me. But I want this to work, Essence. I want a real relationship, no games, no holding back.”

I exhaled a long, shaky breath, my chest heaving as I tried to process everything he said.

His face was so close to mine now, our lips inches apart. “I’ve never been a patient man. But I will do everything I can to win your trust and recapture your heart, no matter how long that takes.”

My chest felt like it was about to burst. I had been holding my breath, waiting, listening to him bare his soul. It wasn’t a confession of his undying love that I hoped for, but it was a start.

“I thought you wanted a marriage in name only?” I asked, my voice trembling.

He shook his head, his eyes intense. “I did. I thought that was all I was capable of. But now... I don’t know how else to say it, except I’m ready to do whatever it takes to make this work. Will you give us a chance?”

Part of me wanted to throw my arms around his neck and kiss him until we couldn’t breathe, but another part of me was scared—scared that he might change his mind later and leave me broken again. What if Mark realized he couldn’t love me the way I needed?

I bit my lip, considering the possibility of risking it all. The thought of losing him again made my heart ache. And yet I decided that even if we didn’t last forever, even if he changed his mind later, I wanted to take the chance because I knew I loved him.

“Since I’ve been back, there hasn’t been a single night I haven’t laid awake wishing I were in your bed, curled beside you,” he confessed, his voice deep and husky. “I want you in my life, Essence. I want something real between us, no games, no limitations.”

His words sent a ripple of heat through me, and I could feel my heartbeat quickening with each breath. I loved him, and it was time to stop pretending. The battle I had been fighting inside myself was over, and the truth was, I wanted to be with him. I wanted everything he was offering.

A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth as I looked up at him. “I’ve laid awake so many nights wanting the same thing. I’ve been lonely without you. I want this, too.”

Mark cupped my face in his hands, his rough palms warm and comforting against my skin. “Are you cold?” he asked, his voice soft but full of concern.

“No,” I whispered, shaking my head.

He pulled the heavy blanket over us and drew me closer, his body warm against mine. I looked up at him, a smile spreading across my face. I loved this man.

He searched my eyes, his gaze holding mine for a long, heart-stopping moment before finally lowering his mouth to my lips. The kiss was deep, full of unspoken promises and raw emotion. I parted my lips, welcoming him in, savoring his taste and the feel of his strong arms wrapped around me. My body melted into his, every touch sending sparks of electricity through me.

“We’re not done,” he murmured against my lips, his hand trailing down the curve of my back as he pulled me closer. “We’ve only just begun.”

I looked up, his eyes flashing gold in their depths.

“So, I see,” I said and gave a sudden thrust of my hips against his swelling erection. He growled with pleasure.

We lay there kissing for the longest time. His hands found the belt to my robe. I sucked in my breath and shivered with pleasure as he peeled it away again.

His touch set my body on fire as I writhed sensuously. I held my breath as he reached out and caressed one nipple and then the next with the back of his hand.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered. His breath warmed my cheek. “I won’t be satisfied until you are panting and quivering beneath me.”

His hands moved slowly down, capturing the curve of my hip, sliding past my belly to explore between my legs. It wasn’t long before his long fingers slipped between my sensitive folds and explored. I parted my thighs, allowing him better access, then shivered and went limp while his fingers teased and caressed. I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of his fingers slipping and sliding inside of me while he tenderly sucked the buds of my breasts until they beaded like pearls.

He kissed me again. Our mouths fused, and our tongues danced as he stroked my breasts with his gifted fingers. My stomach fluttered, filling me with warmth and pleasure. His tongue claimed every inch of my flesh. And when he finally reached his destination and settled his mouth between my thighs, he licked, sending a sensual heat tingling down my spine.

The silence was broken by my small gasps of delight...gasps that turned to broken cries as he suckled the sensitive flesh, teasing them open, stroking them, bringing me as much pleasure as he could. The intense sensation caused me to arch off the bed. Grabbing my hips, he tried to hold me still but couldn’t. Instead, I cried out and bucked against his mouth until I exploded.

Mark released my hips and slowly traveled up my abdomen, nipping me with his tongue along the way.

I purred his name, “Mark...”

His lips moved from my breasts to an area behind my ear. “Yes?”

I shook my head. “Not yet.”

“What’s on your mind?” he asked.

I shifted on the bed and slid my hand down a solid wall of muscles on his chest. I’m sure my wicked grin confirmed what was on my mind.

“You…this.” I jerked the covers back. Damn, the man was sexy. His penis was strained and swollen. I took his length in my hands and felt him flinch between my fingers. I cupped my hand around the base, felt him swell even more, and then stroked up and down in a slow, gentle motion.

Mark’s breath caught.

I gently massaged his balls, then settled between his legs, kissed the tip slowly at first, and then sucked his penis deep into my mouth.

“Shit.” Mark released a hiss from between his lips.

“Did you say something?” I asked as my tongue snaked around the head.

Mark’s body jerked, and he made a restrained snarling sound. “Don’t you dare stop.”

Laughing, I swallowed him, taking his length to the back of my throat, then sucked while circling my hand up and down his rigid shaft. I looked up to see him watching me. Half-lowered lashes, desire glinting in his eyes.

“That’s it, sweetheart, suck my dick… suck it.” Moaning, Mark brought a hand to fist my hair and guided me up and down, creating a different rhythm.

The way his hips were rocking, and the tight hold he had on my hair gave me the confidence I was giving him a great blow job. I picked up speed, corkscrewing with my tongue on the down stroke and sucking hard on the up stroke.

“That feels so good, sweetheart.” His hips arched to meet my mouth.

I picked up the pace, sliding my lips up and down, massaged his balls, then swallowed him even deeper. A loud growl ripped from his throat, and then abruptly, he stopped and withdrew from my mouth.

“Why you stop me?”

“Another second, and it would have been over.” His words came out breathless. Mark kissed me possessively and pushed his tongue between my lips. He broke the kiss and said, “Sweetheart, hand me my wallet?”

I leaned over and handed it to him. He released me long enough to suit up, and then Mark rolled onto his back and lifted me over his body until I was straddling his lap.

“Oh,” I whimpered as he gripped my hips and lowered me down onto the length of his penis. I gasped. Mark released a long hiss, then grabbed my hips again, holding me down against his body, allowing me a moment to adjust to the feel of him inside of me.

“Ride,” he commanded.

I began gyrating my hips.

“That’s it,” Mark growled while thrusting his penis upward, hard and deep. “You feel so good.”

“Yes,” I moaned and struggled to breathe. How was it my body was already starving for more? As I rocked and met his upward pumps, Mark focused his attention on my nipples, gently licking and kissing, first one, then the other, again and again. He was driving me insane.

I kissed his shoulder and neck while inhaling his masculine scent. “Oh, baby,”

“Your pussy is so tight,” he whispered while rolling his hips, driving himself even deeper.

Holding onto his broad shoulders, I rode him hard, rising up and down on his dick. “Kiss me,” I begged.

Mark dragged my mouth to his and captured me in a deep kiss, making it almost impossible for me to think, only respond. I began winding my hips and moving in small, quick strokes, and Mark’s breathing increased.

“Mine,” he growled.

“What?” I asked as I continued to pump my hips.

“You’re mine.”

“Yes, I’m yours,” I moaned, thrusting my hips backward, meeting his, pound for pound.

Mark gripped my waist, pumping into me with great speed. I screamed with pleasure. He was so large, and I felt so full. I felt complete. The last time had been amazing, but this time was fucking phenomenal. My legs grew weak, and as he thrust harder and deeper, I wondered how long I would be able to hold on.

“I’m about to come,” I whimpered as I felt the tension building.

“How about I help you along?” he offered. His hand slipped down across my belly until his fingers brushed over my clit. I whimpered on contact. He circled it and teased it until I shook.

“Mark!”

“I want to feel you come on my dick,” he snarled close to my ear.

His strokes grew harder and deeper. Mark had the reins. Mark was in charge. Release was all contingent on his power over my mind and body. And I felt ready to explode.

Mark was filling me again and again, and the sound of flesh smacking had me so turned on. My eyes were closed. My lips parted, and moans were flying from my throat. Each pump and every hard stroke not only drove me toward release but also heightened my love for Mark. He wasn’t just penetrating my core but also my heart.

He changed the position slightly and started pumping in an uneven circular motion. One hand was at my waist the other found my clit and began manipulating the throbbing bead, causing me to gasp.

“Let it go,” he coaxed.

His hips rocked in an upward motion. With each deep thrust, I thought I was going to lose my mind until finally, I gasped, and an orgasm ripped through me. I cried out just as Mark’s breathing became fast. He started pumping faster, and within seconds, he shuddered, gave me two final thrusts, and stilled.

Breathing heavily, I sagged against him. Mark wrapped his arms around me and dropped kisses on my cheek.

“Daaayum, sweetheart.”

I giggled. “You can say that again.”

He held me, covering me with kisses. I could not speak. Even long after our breathing had returned to its regular rate, I could only nestle into him, absorbing his warmth. Mark held me as if he could hold me forever. I prayed that was true. And that this thing between us was finally real.