Chapter 20
“We’re ready to head into the family room,” Mr. Saunders called out, his voice full of energy, like the Christmas spirit had taken over the house completely. I saw the excitement lighting up everyone’s faces as they got up, ready for whatever tradition was about to unfold.
With that playful glint in his eye, Mark reached for my hand. “Come on,” he said, his grip warm and comforting.
I laced my fingers with his, feeling that familiar spark. “Where are we going?” I asked, a little curious, maybe a little nervous. Being around his family had been great so far, but I still felt like the new girl in the room, trying to fit into a picture that had already been painted.
Mark shot me a smile. “It’s time for our traditional karaoke Christmas.”
“Karaoke?” I gaped, feeling the color rise in my cheeks. Singing in front of a room full of people was not in my comfort zone.
“Yep,” he said, grinning like this was going to be fun. “And I can’t wait to hear you sing.”
I shook my head, a smile playing on my lips despite myself. He always had a way of making things sound better than they were. We moved into the room, where rows of folding chairs were lined up like we were about to watch a movie on the big screen TV.
His parents stood at the front of the room, looking like they’d done this a million times. The couple kicked things off without missing a beat with BeBe & CeCe Winans' “The First Noel.” The way they sang together, looking at each other like they were the only two people in the room, made me smile. You could feel the love between them, and it set the mood just right.
Next, it was Calaine’s husband’s turn, and damn, did he surprise me. David was attractive, sure, but the man could sing . When he hit those notes on Boyz II Men’s rendition of “Let it Snow,” it felt like the whole room held its breath. The emotion in his voice—it vibrated right through me, making my heart swell. Before I knew it, I had tears welling up in my eyes.
Mark leaned in close, his breath warm against my ear. “You wanna try it?” he asked, his voice soft but teasing.
I shook my head, quickly wiping away a stray tear. “No way,” I said, laughing a little at the thought. “I’m not about to embarrass myself in front of your whole family.”
“It’s all in fun,” he said, nudging me lightly. “Half the people here, including me, can’t even carry a tune.”
“I’ll pass,” I insisted.
Mark just grinned. “Suit yourself,” he said before getting up from the sofa. I watched, wide-eyed, as he strolled up to the front like he had no fear. His cousin Dana handed him the microphone, and I had to cover my mouth to hide my laughter.
I couldn’t believe he was actually going to do this. A few family members cheered him on as he picked his song, whispering to Dana before she selected the song.
When the music started, I instantly recognized the tune. Mark cleared his throat, gave me a look that made my heart skip, and then started singing CeeLo’s rendition of “Mary, Did You Know?” And let me tell you…, Mark lied! That man could sing. His voice was smooth, deep, and full of emotion, wrapping around me like a warm blanket. His eyes never left mine as he sang, and I got lost in the moment. The way he looked at me, the passion in his voice, I didn’t even notice the tear slipping down my face until it landed on my chin. When he finished, the room erupted in applause. I was focused on Mark as he walked back to me, his gaze locked on mine. Without a word, he leaned down and kissed me. His family started catcalling, and I heard a chorus of “oohs” and “aahs,” but I didn’t care. In that moment, it felt like it was just me and him.
On the drive home, Tyler was knocked out in his car seat, the day’s excitement finally catching up. I slid over, resting my head on his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his body next to mine. “I had a wonderful time with your family,” I said softly, letting the day's contentment settle over me. Mark glanced down at me, his hand resting on my thigh. “I’m glad,” he said, his voice full of sincerity. “They really like you.”
Later that night, Mark and I slipped into our pajamas and crawled into bed. We didn’t need much, just the comfort of being close, of winding down after a day filled with love, family, and a little bit of karaoke. We turned on a movie, but I wasn’t watching the screen. I was too wrapped up in the feeling of being next to him, of knowing that today had been one of those days I wanted to hold onto forever. Halfway through the movie, Mark pulled me snugly in his arms and kissed me so deeply my body responded instantly. What choice did I have? My mind was consumed by him. My body craved him. Already, my stomach clenched in response to his kiss. Mark rolled me over onto my back. There was no need for foreplay. Mark unbuttoned the fly of his pajama bottom and rolled on protection. He then parted my thighs and entered me in one fluid motion. I met each of his powerful thrusts as he pumped his body into mine. As I felt myself on the verge of exploding, Mark commanded me to wrap my legs firmly around his waist, and I held on as the motion increased. Moments later, an orgasm ripped through my body. Mark pushed harder and deeper, and his body tensed, and he convulsed and collapsed on top of me, sighing with satisfaction.
We lay there in silence, tangled up in each other, still trying to catch our breath. The room had this warm, soft glow, and the air between us was thick, but in a good way—like we’d said, all we needed to say without even opening our mouths.
Mark’s hand traced up and down my back, slow and steady, sending chills through me. His touch always calmed me, like he knew exactly how to ease all the chaos running through my mind. I couldn’t help but wonder how he did it—how he simultaneously made me feel beautiful yet vulnerable. When we were like this, wrapped up in each other, I felt like we could handle anything life threw at us. Together .
But even in this quiet, with Mark right next to me, there was a heavy truth in my chest that I hadn’t spoken out loud yet. I loved him. And that scared the hell out of me. Not just the fact that I was in love again but that I wasn’t sure if he could love me back in the way I needed him to.
I wanted to say something, to tell him what I was feeling. The words were right there, sitting on the edge of my lips, but I couldn’t bring myself to let them out. Not yet. I was too scared. I’d spent so long building these walls around my heart, trying to protect myself from getting hurt again. But the truth was, I couldn’t keep denying what was real. I was tired of fighting it, tired of pushing him away.
I knew that the next time he asked me to marry him—and I knew it was coming—I wouldn’t be able to say no. Not this time. My heart wasn’t in the fight anymore. I loved him, plain and simple. I couldn’t picture my life without him. But still, the nagging thought wouldn’t let go. Was he doing all this just because of Tyler? Was he only here because he wanted to keep his son close?
I’d risked my heart since Mark walked back into my life. Every time he looked at me with those intense, golden eyes, every time his touch made me feel like I was the only woman in the world, my walls started crumbling. I wished, some days, that I didn’t love him. Maybe it would have hurt less if I hadn’t felt so much. But it was too late. I was already in too deep. My heart belonged to him, whether he knew it or not. And when he asked me to marry him again, I’d be ready to say yes, not just for Tyler and the life we could build, but because I wanted us . With everything I had, I just wished that he loved me too.
* * *
Diamere leaned back in his seat, watching Kelly’s face as she turned toward him, her soft voice breaking the quiet.
"Thanks for bringing me home, Diamere," she said, her tone light but carrying an undercurrent of something deeper.
He nodded, forcing a smile. "It was my pleasure." He knew this was a bad move from the start. Should’ve kept it simple. Dropped her off and bounced.
The family get-together had ended hours ago, but he stuck around, helping Kelly clean up after everyone left. It felt easy, familiar—just like old times. She washed dishes, and he dried, their conversation flowing easily about her teaching career, his military career, and all the years that had flown by. But the whole time, he couldn’t stop staring at her. Kelly had always been pretty, but now? Now, she was grown. A woman. Her curves were real, and her smile… Damn, that smile could melt ice. He tried to keep it cool, but when she asked for a ride home, it threw him off his game. Stepping out of the car, Diamere walked around to open her door. The second her leg slid out, the sight of those shapely calves almost made him lose focus. He had to get out of there quick. The sooner he got her to the door and left, the better. As they made their way to her apartment, every step felt like a temptation. Watching the sway of her hips wasn’t helping. His mind was racing—he wasn’t supposed to feel like this, not with Kelly. He was ready to play it off when they reached her door.
"I probably won’t see you before I head back to Colorado, so it was good catching up."
"It was good seeing you too, Diamere," she said, fumbling with her keys.
He reached for the keyring, their fingers brushing in a way that made his body tense. That slight touch sent a jolt, something he didn’t expect. He unlocked the door and handed the keys back, trying not to let on how much that moment messed with his head. Kelly smiled up at him, a smile that made him feel like they were still those kids back in the day, but now, everything was different. She was grown, and so was he. And looking into her eyes, he felt something stirring deep inside that he thought he’d locked away a long time ago.
"You wanna come in?" Her voice was soft, almost hesitant, but something was behind it. A question he wasn’t sure he had the right answer for.
He should’ve walked away right then. Said goodnight and kept it moving. But he wasn’t ready to leave Kelly yet. Not like this. "Yeah, maybe just for a few minutes.”
The second he stepped inside, the scent of her perfume hit him. Subtle, sweet, and dangerous. Kelly slipped off her coat, and he handed her his, watching her hang it up like it was no big deal. But it was. Every move she made, every glance she threw his way, was messing with his head.
"Your place is nice," he said, his voice a little too strained, trying to keep it casual.
"Thanks." She motioned to the sofa. "Have a seat."
He sat down, trying to play it cool, but the attraction was thick. Kelly kicked off her shoes, curling up in a chair across from him like she was comfortable. Too comfortable.
"You want something to drink?" she asked, pointing to the small bar in the corner.
"Nah, I’m good." No way he needed a drink right now. He needed to stay sharp.
The silence stretched for a minute before she stood, saying, "I’ll be right back. Remote’s on the table if you wanna watch something." She left the room, and Diamere let out a long breath.
Bruh, what are you doing? he thought to himself. This was dangerous territory. Kelly wasn’t the little girl he used to know. She was a woman now, and being around her stirred up feelings.
When she returned, she’d changed into leggings and an oversized T-shirt, looking even more comfortable and tempting. Then she hit him with a question he wasn’t ready for.
"So, why haven’t you ever gotten married?"
Diamere shifted on the couch, trying to play it cool. "Haven’t met the right one, I guess."
Kelly chuckled, her smirk cutting through the air. "I don’t think you’d know the right one if she was staring you in the face."
She wasn’t wrong. But he couldn’t admit that. Not here, not now. "Maybe. But it doesn’t really matter now." He paused, knowing he had to come clean. "I’m actually dating someone. Ryan. She’s pregnant."
Her face fell, and he saw that flicker of disappointment before she tried to cover it up. "You’re having a baby?"
"Yeah, looks that way."
Kelly forced a smile, but Diamere could see through it. "Well, congrats. I hope you do right by her."
He shrugged, trying to keep it light. "Marriage? I don’t know yet." Why did he lie? He didn’t even know.
Her eyes narrowed, anger flashing. "What do you mean you don’t know? You got her pregnant, didn’t you?"
Diamere sighed, feeling the weight of her words. "I’m just not sure I’m ready for all that."
Kelly stood up, fire in her eyes. "You don’t know anything about being responsible, do you? And you called me a kid?"
"Kelly, I—"
"Don’t. Just go." She grabbed his coat and shoved it into his hands, her movements sharp and final.
"Kelly, wait—"
But she wasn’t having it. "Don’t worry about it, Diamere. Just go."
While standing toe to toe, Diamere’s gaze dropped from the fire in Kelly’s eyes to her mouth, sensual and very feminine. A mouth made for a man to enjoy. Lips he wanted so desperately.
He leaned closer and whispered against her temple as he lowered his head. “I’ve wanted to do this all evening,” he murmured, barely touching his mouth to hers.
He pulled Kelly into his arms and brushed his lips over hers. She didn’t resist. Instead, she kissed him back, and Diamere discovered a flavor so rich he hungered for more. The kiss was gentle at first, but that wasn’t enough. Her mouth parted beneath his, allowing him to take what he wanted. He began mating sensuously with hers. Kelly clung to his shoulders and responded to him, sending his body spinning to oblivion. Kelly kissed with enough passion to make him forget why he shouldn’t be doing this. He couldn’t stop now, even if he wanted to. Instead, he sought more.
Diamere pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. Every stroke of her tongue ignited deeper passion. Her lips were sweet, and ripe and held the joy of discovery.
His hand boldly moved down her body to the voluptuous swell of her soft ass, bringing her snugly against his erection. He wished to God she’d step away before he did something they both might regret later. Kissing her wasn’t enough. He wanted to taste her all over. He wanted to join their bodies together.
He was about to lower her onto the sofa when the sound of a car horn brought him back to his senses. He breathed deeply, trying to regain control, then lifted his head. There was a pause before Kelly opened her eyes. He felt a tightness in his chest as he peered down at her. He had expected her expression to be unreadable, but it was obvious she had been just as moved by the kiss as he had.
“I’m sorry,” he said as he tried to get his breathing back on track.
She nodded and tried to step back, but Diamere held her against him.
“I don’t know what I was thinking,” he groaned, his voice muffled by the torment he felt. Kelly was watching him with an intensity that stole his breath away.
“There is nothing to be sorry about.” She moistened her kiss-swollen lips. Stepping away from his hold, this time, he didn’t stop her. “I wanted you to kiss me,” she confessed.
Diamere inhaled deeply. He hadn’t expected this to happen, at least not to this degree. Though he couldn’t rationalize it, he had always known it would be good with her. He just never expected it to be so intense. Now, he was stuck in a state of arousal. His lips had been hard and greedy. His desire for her had come on to him fast and furious. Part of him wanted to get as far away from her as possible, while the other half imagined carrying her to bed. Realization crept in, filling him with alarm. He felt more than physical attraction to the woman gazing up innocently at him.
Feeling his resistance slipping, he tilted his head and kissed her again. Unable to rationalize a reason not to, he slipped his tongue between her parted lips, and the kiss deepened. He placed a hand at the curve of her hip, bringing her flush against him again, and heard a desperate sound escape her lips.
This is fucking insane , he told himself.
Moments later, breathing deeply, he tore his mouth from hers and looked down into the desire blazing in her eyes.
He sighed as he took a step back, reaffirming his decision. “We need to quit while we are ahead.”
Kelly’s ragged breath echoed around the room. “I was actually enjoying it.”
“So was I, but that doesn’t make it right. I didn’t come here to take advantage of you.”
Her expression cooled. “Advantage? You didn’t do anything I didn’t allow you to do.”
He knew he had to stay firm, regardless of what he felt. “Nevertheless, it was a mistake. You are like my sister, and I don’t want to jeopardize that.”
“Alright,” she replied after a long moment of silence. Drawing a deep breath, she crossed her arms beneath her breasts and tossed her head. “You’re right. Your kisses can’t change the fact that you have a pregnant girlfriend.”
“No, they cannot.” He saw what looked like pain in her eyes. Now, look at what you have done.
“Thank you so much for bringing me home. I guess I’d better get ready for bed.”
He didn’t blame her for trying to get rid of him. If he were in her shoes, he would have done the same.
He nodded. “Goodbye, Kelly.”
He retrieved his coat and walked out of her apartment without giving her a chance to respond. The door closed behind him, leaving Diamere standing outside, wondering how the hell he let things get this far.