Chapter 23
We arrived at Mark’s parents' house in time for Sunday dinner. When we walked through the door, I was hit with the smell of pot roast, roasted potatoes, and something sweet—probably apple pie. My stomach growled in response, reminding me I hadn’t eaten since breakfast.
“Mom, something smells amazing,” Mark said, his face lighting up as he followed the scent into the kitchen.
“Ma Ma!” Tyler squirmed in Mark’s dad’s arms, all excited, until he put him down. The second his little feet hit the floor, Tyler ran straight to me, arms wide open.
“Hey, baby!” I scooped him up, squeezing him tight and smothering his face with kisses. “Mommy missed you so much!” His laughter was pure joy.
“How was your weekend?” Dorlinda asked as she set the last of the dishes on the table.
“Fabulous,” Mark said, grinning like a man who had just won big. He looked over at me, and when I winked, he reached for my hand, squeezing it gently.
“Mama... Pops, Essence and I have some news,” Mark announced, his voice laced with excitement. “We’re engaged.”
“Well, it’s about time!” Dorlinda laughed, wiping her hands on a towel before coming over to hug us both. “Let me see that ring!”
I handed Tyler over to Mark and held out my hand, showing off the diamond sparkling on my finger like it had its own spotlight.
“Oh my! Glad to see my son didn’t cheap out,” she joked, nudging Mark with her elbow. “It’s gorgeous, dear. I’m so happy for both of you.”
Mark’s father stood up, his usual quiet, laid-back vibe a little softer today. He walked over, reached for my shoulders, and kissed my cheek. “Welcome to the family, Essence. We’re lucky to have you.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, barely getting the words out. It was all a lot to take in—the love in that room.
The conversation naturally turned to the wedding when we sat down to eat. Dorlinda was already in planning mode, talking about a springtime outdoor ceremony. She painted a picture of flowers blooming, the gazebo all decked out in lights, and before I knew it, Mark and I were nodding along, totally on board. It felt like the pieces were falling into place.
After dessert—hot apple dumplings and homemade vanilla ice cream—I could feel the weight of the day catching up with me. My eyelids were getting heavy, and I kept stifling yawns between sips of French roast coffee.
Mark shot me a playful look. “Looks like my fiancée is ready for bed.”
I laughed, rubbing my eyes. “I guess I didn’t get as much rest this weekend as I thought.”
His father muttered against the coffee mug, “I wonder why,” and everyone at the table burst out laughing.
After dinner, Mark cleaned up Tyler and set him down to play while I helped Dorlinda clear the table. She tried to wave me off, telling me to relax, but I insisted. I was finishing up when I heard something crash in the living room. I rushed to the front of the house and saw Tyler had knocked over a statue.
“What are you doing in here?” I said softly. Giggling, Tyler darted back toward the kitchen like nothing had happened.
As I bent down to pick it up, I heard Mark’s voice coming from his father’s study across the hall. He was laughing. At first, I wasn’t paying much attention, but then I caught the tone— casual and comfortable. He was on the phone, and the caller was on speaker. I recognized the robust voice as his friend Diamere.
“You’re right, man. It’s definitely cheaper to keep her. Child support payments are no joke,” Mark said, his tone casual, like it was all just a joke.
Diamere, on the other end, chuckled. “True that...true that. But you’re doing the smart thing. If I have to marry my baby’s mama, I will. Ain’t no way I’m letting a woman take half my money!”
I blinked in stunned disbelief for a moment, not wanting to accept what I heard. Cheaper to keep her? Was that what I was to him? Just a way to save money and avoid child support?
“Have you told her your next assignment is gonna be Texas?”
“Nah,” Mark admitted. “Not yet. I’m waiting until tomorrow to drop that bomb. I figured I better put a ring on it first.”
Whoa, what? Texas? My heart started racing, and my stomach twisted violently as I quietly left the room and returned to the kitchen.
He didn’t love me. Mark played me, and I fell for it. Hard.
Mark strolled into the kitchen shortly after, smiling like everything was perfect, but I couldn’t even look at him.
The car ride home was dead silent, except for Tyler’s soft snores in the backseat. A million thoughts were screaming in my head, overlapping each other, drowning me in confusion and anger. How could I have been so stupid? How did I not see it?
When we got home, Mark carried our luggage inside while I took Tyler to his bedroom, got him ready for bed, and tucked him in. I was on autopilot, moving through the motions but not feeling it.
Trembling with outrage, I stormed into my bedroom, where Mark was sitting on the bed, taking off his shoes like nothing had happened.
“Did you forget to tell me something?” I asked, my voice shaky but steady enough to get his attention.
He looked up, frowning. “Tell you what?”
I swallowed hard, my throat tight. “Does Texas ring a bell?”
His demeanor changed instantly—guilt, panic, everything all at once. He knew I knew. “I was gonna tell you.” His voice was low. “I was waiting for the right moment.”
“How long have you known?” I asked, my chest tight.
Mark let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his hand over his face. “A week.”
A week? I threw my hands up, feeling like a fool. I wasn’t even surprised. I felt stupid for not being surprised.
Mark stood up, reaching for my forearm and pulling me toward him. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I worried you wouldn’t give us a chance if I told you.”
“So, instead, you decided to put a ring on it first?” I shot back, feeling the tears welling up. He tried to draw me closer, but I struggled against him, pushing away from his grasp. “When were you going to tell me, Mark? Right before you left for Texas? Or after we were married?!” I laughed bitterly, even though I felt like crying.
He ran a hand over his face, looking at a loss. “I was gonna tell you tonight. I was waiting—”
“You should’ve told me when you first found out!” I yelled, cutting him off. “Before you proposed. Before, you made me believe you were in this for the right reasons.”
He threw his hands up, finally admitting defeat. “You’re right. I messed up. I’m sorry. I should have been honest.”
“I was stupid to think you wanted me.” My voice broke as I stared at him, my heart-shattering. “But deep down, I knew… I knew the only reason why you were marrying me was because of Tyler!” I was shaking. My chest was heaving with a mix of hurt and rage.
“Sweetheart, he is not the only reason. You know how I feel about you,” Mark said. “Just calm down. Have a seat, and let me explain.” I yanked my hand away when he reached for it.
I shook my head, the tears spilling over now. “You want to know why this won’t work, Mark? Besides being ‘cheaper to keep her,’ we don’t have trust. And without trust, there’s no love. And without love, there’s no us.”
“That’s not true,” he said, stepping closer, desperate now.
“It is true!” I cried, my voice cracking again. I loved this man, but he had used me. Lied to me.
“No, it isn’t,” he countered. “If you would just give me a chance to explain.”
“So, you can lie to me some more?” I glared at him.
“Dammit, you’ve got it all wrong!” Mark’s frustration boiled over, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t about to listen to more lies.
“Mark, you the phone call on speaker! I heard the conversation with my own ears.” My voice was low but firm.
“Essence, you only heard part of the conversation.”
“As far as I’m concerned, I heard enough.” I slipped the ring off my finger and tossed it onto the bed. “I can’t marry you.”
Mark cringed at the sight of the ring leaving my hand.
“Sweetheart, please listen.” Mark tried to reach for me, but I jumped back, shaking my head.
“Mark, please. Just go.”
He stared at me briefly before saying, “Essence, give me a chance to explain.”
“I don’t want to hear it. I’ve had it with the lies.”
He reached for my hand. “Would you—”
“Get out of my house!” I screamed, pushing his hand away.
Mark stood there for a long moment, staring at me like he couldn’t believe what was happening. But it was happening. I couldn’t do it. No more. I couldn’t take him back, not after this.
“I can see you are upset, so I will back off and give you some space, but we will talk about this tomorrow.”
As far as I was concerned, there was nothing else to discuss.
Quietly, Mark put back on his shoes. On his way out of the bedroom, he leaned over to kiss me, but I turned away and looked out the window, my bottom lip trembling. Mark finally left without another word. The moment I saw him walking down the driveway toward his vehicle and chirping his car fob, I collapsed in a chair, sobbing.
I’d allowed him back into my life only to have him shatter my heart once again.
* * *
I held up my hand, signaling for the bartender. “Give me another and make it a double.”
“Man, at that rate, I’m going to need to call you a cab,” Chris said, leaning back on his barstool, casting me that familiar side-eye.
I didn’t bother responding. I wasn’t in the mood for commentary, but Joshua had been my boy forever, and if anyone could see through my silence, it was him. He took another swig of his beer, his eyes never leaving the screen, but I knew he was clocking me.
“We’ve been here for over an hour, and you still haven’t told me what’s bothering you,” he said, his voice carrying that hint of curiosity he was known for. He might usually be a joker, but Joshua could be serious when needed.
The bartender slid the drink in front of me, and I raised the glass to my lips, stalling. “Who says anything’s bothering me?”
Joshua turned to look at me, then back at the TV, shaking his head with that signature grin women loved. “Bruh, who are you trying to fool? This is me you’re talking to.”
I wasn’t sure why I’d hit him up to meet for drinks. Maybe I thought having someone around would keep me from spiraling too deep into my own mess. But sitting here, staring at the amber liquid in my glass, all I could think about was how badly I’d screwed things up with Essence.
Joshua raised his bottle to his lips, then lowered it, still eyeing me. “I keep telling you there is too much sweet candy out here. Why are you trying to settle with just one flavor?”
That was Joshua’s way—one woman never enough, always chasing the next thrill. But me? I was done with that. I wasn’t chasing. I was trying to hold onto what I already had.
“You know this is all Diamere’s fault, right?” I muttered, staring into my drink. “If he hadn’t called and told me Ryan was having twins, none of this would’ve happened.”
Essence had it all twisted. I shared the ‘cheaper to keep her’ phone conversation and how the whole mess had blown up in my face.
Joshua raised an eyebrow. “Have you asked Dime to talk to her and straighten this mess out?”
“Nah,” I shook my head, swirling the drink. “This is my problem, not his.”
Joshua’s eyes followed some redbone female across the bar. Still, I wasn’t paying attention to anything except the mess I’d made. “Dammit,” I muttered, more to myself than to him. “I really messed this up.”
“I have no doubt you’ll work it out. Meanwhile, you ready to make that move to Texas?” Joshua asked, dragging me out of my own pity party.
“It’s just another day,” I replied, lifting the glass to my lips.
Joshua smirked. “Man, I’m thinking about re-enlisting for another six. This uniform is too damn sexy to give up.” He flashed that grin again, but it didn’t reach me.
I managed a chuckle, then took another sip, my mind still on Essence. “I’ll only do twenty if I have my family with me.” Otherwise, I was getting out at the end of my enlisted contract and returning to Delaware to be near my son… and Essence.
“You know I’m all about staying single and enjoying the beautiful women of the world,” Joshua said with a chuckle. “But I can see that ain’t where your head is no more. So, go get your family back.”
I sighed, rubbing my hand over my face. “I really messed up this time, man. I doubt she’ll give me another chance.”
Joshua whistled low. “You’ve convinced her before, bruh. I’m sure you can do it again.”
“I don’t know,” I muttered, finishing the rest of my drink in one swallow and slamming the glass down onto the bar top. “This ain’t just some fight. I betrayed her trust.”
“You in love?” Joshua asked, his tone serious for once.
“Yep. I love her,” I admitted, the weight of it all pressing down on me. Somewhere along the way, Essence had become everything to me. She wasn’t just the mother of my son; she was the woman who’d broken down every wall I’d built. I’d loved her once and threw it away. Now? I’d do anything to get that love back.
Joshua groaned, but there was no humor in his eyes. “Another one bites the dust, huh? So, what you gonna do?”
I signaled for another drink. “I have no idea,” I said, my voice quieter. What I had with Essence was real. It wasn’t something you just walked away from. She was like a diamond—rare, precious, forever. And I’d been a fool to risk losing her.
“But I know one thing,” I added, the weight of my words sinking in. “I’m not leaving Delaware until my ring is back on her finger.”