Chapter 80 Susenyos
SUSENYOS
Someone was calling him.
Their voice was twisted with a cry, and they were calling him. It filled him with urgency to be called in such a way, to be needed like he was their own breath.
But every time he tried to answer, he was lost inside his broken body. The Sicions had perfected the art of pushing an immortal creature to the brink of death, and it was where he hovered now.
It would take only one more slice of their blood-licked blades to send him across that threshold into oblivion.
He felt the poison of their blood inside him, slithering toward the arteries of his heart, and he was doing all he could to not let his heart pump, and risk pulling in the venom.
The stench of a rotten forest peaked, sweeping over him.
He reached in the dark, found life on his tongue.
It tasted like the thing stars were made of. The very oasis of the desert.
Yos!
It was that voice again. Why were they in so much pain?
Allowing his heart to flutter awake a little, he opened his eyes.
An angel’s face hovered above him, and he thought for a brief moment—it’s her.
The Sage who kept saving his life, a radiant shine coming off her mask, smelling of white roses.
She was crying, her tears wetting his cheek. The third drop made his vision clear, and he stared into an unmasked face, dark wet eyes and trembling lip.
Kidan.
His heart ripped violently, although his face hardened at her anguished expression.
“I’m not dead yet,” he said hoarsely, wincing. “And even when I am, I’m not worth this many tears. Enough, little bird.”
It only made her sob more. “I couldn’t hear your heartbeat. They said… I thought…”
Her voice folded on itself, annihilating him.
Susenyos fought to speak through a parched throat, swallowing the blood she offered him greedily. Though every atom in his body felt punctured by a needle, her blood was a slow salve. “It happens sometimes. My heart is beating, just very slowly. My body is trying to heal.”
She traced a fearful hand along his bleeding chest. “What can I do?”
“You’re already doing it. Your blood… helps me concentrate on something other than the pain.”
His fingers disappeared into her braids. It was like touching the finest silk, her hair the ropes of an ancient tree. He could feel the pounding of her heart, the change in her breathing.
Becoming his only source of sustenance went beyond anything they were ready for. So he would ask no more of her than an ordinary companion would until he found a way to break this bond. This mortal vow. He refused to burden her with such a fate for the rest of her life.
Moving hurt like hell but Susenyos reached for her slender neck and pulled her head down, down to his chest until her ears were pressed to it.
“I’m fine, little bird,” he whispered. “Listen.”
He let his heart pump then. Her sniffling didn’t stop but gradually it became staggered. She wrapped her arms around him like a vise, making all the Sicions’ torturous cuts bleed further but he didn’t dare complain.
Susenyos kept his hand on her head, softly running his fingers down her braids. He could do nothing but hold her. Let the pain and fear thunder through her and leave her.
“I don’t know what to do,” she whispered. “The dean won’t stop but I can’t break the law. I can’t.”
As Kidan explained what Professor Andreyas had taught them, Susenyos cursed.
Law permanence. If Kidan broke the law as a master, there was no way to rectify it. He didn’t know such a thing would happen. Of course, Mahlet wouldn’t have shared this with him.
He would never forgive himself for not seeing the trap they were walking into. A niggling feeling still lurking inside him told him there was more.
What is it? he demanded. What else?
There was only the blankness of his mind. Samson had escaped and hidden like a cockroach. Arin demanded Susenyos return as soon as possible or lose his people again—but these threats were obvious.
This one hovered above him invisible and dangerous, just out of reach.
Frustrated, he turned his attention to something he could actually solve. Kidan would lose something of equal value to her soon. And that could only be June.
“You can’t lose June,” he whispered, trying to keep his eyes open. “Make the dean promise to execute a death transformation if June dies.”
Kidan’s breathing stopped at once. Slowly, she lifted her head, horror wide in her eyes. “You’re saying… June will be a vampire?”
He wiped her tears. “I’ve seen what her loss did to you. You can’t go through that again.”
“But I’ll still lose her. She’ll be a vampire.”
He understood the torture in her voice. He wished he could spare her from this but without his Nefrasi army inside Uxlay, they were outnumbered. When he found Slen Qaros, his wrath alone would extinguish her from this world.
Kidan said nothing after that, she only returned to his chest, holding tightly.
He groaned and pain stole his breath. At once, she moved back. But he brought her back, quieting her protest.
Hesitant, she rested back down. He let the heat of her body, the steady heartbeat, and her intoxicating scent calm him further.
“What if June doesn’t want to?” The question came when he’d almost drifted to sleep. “What if June doesn’t want to be a vampire? What if I force her, and she hates me? Just like…”
GK.
For this, he had no answer. Choice was a difficult arena he’d been caught in before. Half of his people still resented him for what he’d forced them to become. He was in no position to tell Kidan she should take that choice away from her sister. They might not survive it.
“I’m going to close my eyes now,” he told her, breathing slowly. “You may not hear my heartbeat, but I’m here. I’m gathering my strength. Call me, and I’ll move my fingers.”
She nodded, letting him rest.
Barely a second in, she called him.
Smiling, he moved his fingers against her thigh, drawing the symbol of a circle. She exhaled, pressing a kiss to his chest.
You’re missing something. That niggling voice returned, more urgent this time, a little clearer. You know you need to warn her.
Then, all at once, with cruel torment, Susenyos understood what he’d been missing.
Every cut the Sicions dealt paled to the one unfolding right beneath his heart.
It couldn’t be—he refused to let himself think of it even for a second.
But maybe, in a world that smiled down upon him, Susenyos would be the thing—
No.
He denied himself both the pleasure and the panic rooting inside him. He would never dare to claim such a piece of Kidan’s soul.
Refused to.
Whatever was coming, he’d remain here, alive and well, by her side, for as long as she’d have him, and defend against it.
But if not, if not… Susenyos held her tighter even as his body screamed in protest. He couldn’t hope his way out of this.
If the worst thing imaginable happened, he would have to prepare her.
Not only her but his friends and his people.
Perhaps even himself. No one knew the cruelty of a house’s punishment as much as he.
He would start with the only thing that would survive such ruin—words on a letter.
Kidan snuggled closer to him, sighing deeply.
His stubborn, lovely companion.
The soul he valued most.