20. Rina
TWENTY
rina
When I woke up, I was back in my bed—body healed like last night had never happened. “But it did, didn’t it?” I asked the empty room. No—not empty. Ambrose was cuddled against my middle, the raccoon already bonded to me in ways I’d never expected.
I frowned, inspecting my breasts. He had bitten them, hadn’t he?
It had blown my mind how pleasurable it was to have him sucking on them, how with each flick of his tongue against my piercing, I’d felt like electricity was shooting through my veins.
I’d lost count of how many orgasms he’d given me last night, how long he’d taken me, over and over, his erection not softening despite how much he’d come.
There was no way I could have made that up—any of it.
I raised my arm, looking at his mark. Was it my imagination, or had it changed again? A drop of blood seemed to drip from between the pair of wings—bat wings I recognized from all over this manor. Wings that seemed darker now. Had the veins been that detailed before?
Draping my arm over my eyes, I tried to ignore it. It’s just going to continue, the more he drinks from me. Victoria had all but confirmed that it was because we were delaying the bond.
A feat which felt more impossible by the hour. I’d already been at this manor for almost a full day, and so far I’d done nothing to further this quest. Nothing to figure out how to break the bond.
All I’d done was parade myself in front of a vampire like a little slut, begging him to fuck me and drink my blood. It was all a lot to process.
Ezra had said that the vampires slept mostly during the day, hadn’t he?
I’d be alone—at least in the daylight hours.
That was good. Hopefully, I could find out something to help me—something before I did something stupid like fall in love with the vampire I was supposed to hate. The vampire who was my enemy.
Ambrose stared at me, his little face seeming to ask, but is he?
“I don’t know,” I said, scratching his little face. “But this was never the goal. I was supposed to break the bond so that I could go home. Not be his blood bag in this fancy manor, never seeing my coven again.”
My heart sank. My coven. I’d spent so much of this trip checked out—ignoring them.
I knew that if I wasn’t home by Halloween, they’d suspect something.
That meant I had less than two weeks to break this cursed mate bond—and get the vampire to take me home.
On top of figuring out how we were going to sever the connection.
Archer had warned us against it, saying the consequences could be bad.
But how could they be worse than being mated to Ezra, right?
Biting my lip, I tried to ignore how sore I was as I climbed out of bed. My nightgown was back on, and my body was clean, which meant Ezra had… what? Bathed me while I slept? Cared for me, like that wasn’t the strangest fucking thing of the night?
I couldn’t understand him.
My raccoon let out a chirp of agreement, clearly understanding my thoughts.
“This is impossible,” I agreed. “So why don’t I get dressed and then I’ll start trying to figure it out?”
Opening the wardrobe, my jaw dropped at the sight in the morning light. Ezra wasn’t kidding when he said it was stocked. Last night, I’d barely peeked in, grabbing a robe before heading to his room.
Now, I could see how luxurious and vibrant the dresses were—reds, dark purples, greens, and burgundies.
No pastels or pink, like somehow he knew me as well as I knew myself.
I ran my fingers over the fabric. I wanted so badly to hate them.
To retreat into the fishnet tights and clunky boots I’d come with, to pull on a pair of ripped jeans and a low-cut top that seemed to drive him crazy.
But would it be so bad to be dripped in this decadence, even if only for a few days?
One dress, shoved all the way in the back, was white, and I ignored that one. There was no way I’d be wearing that. I was no virginal bride, and definitely not going to be his bride.
“Ugh.” I rubbed my palm over my face. “Where did that thought even come from?”
It wasn’t like he’d ever asked me to marry him, or ever expressed any interest in me. He’d readily agreed when I’d rejected him as my mate, and that was that.
So why did this closet of dresses soften my heart towards him?
Groaning, I slammed it shut, determined to find a laundry room so I could wear my own clothes for the rest of my time here—however long that was.
I’d spent the entire afternoon in the library, unsuccessfully, though I’d read more books on vampire lore and history than I’d ever imagined. The real vampire history, not what had been passed down from the town elders as bedtime stories or told around campfires to scare witchlings.
Which also gave me a deeper understanding of what exactly it meant to be a blood mate.
Ezra had kept a lot from me, things I didn’t understand.
Why hadn’t he told me he could only drink my blood now?
While I was his only option on the road trip, I hadn’t realized that I was his only choice period.
For a creature who had to drink blood to survive, only having one source for the rest of your eternal life seemed very… limiting.
“Fuck,” I muttered, rubbing my eyes.
In my eyes, he had more to lose here than I did.
So why hadn’t he told me? Especially when I’d asked him what was special about my blood and he’d simply told me not to ask again until I was ready for the answer.
When would I ever be ready to hear that?
Even now, I wasn’t. But I deserved to be fully informed, dammit.
Ambrose was happily purring away on my lap as I closed the book.
“What the hell have I gotten myself into, little guy?” I asked him, not caring about his hair getting all over my dress.
After failing to find somewhere to wash my clothes, I’d picked the dress out of the closet that was the least egregious—the one with no ruffles on the emerald green silky fabric. It would do.
Despite his otherwise insisting that the clothing in my closet would be more appropriate, I was pretty sure this one showed more cleavage and skin than my previous outfits, which meant I was feeling pretty good about my decision.
Was I prepared to antagonize the vampire—even after he’d made me come so many times I’d passed out?
Yes. So I’d drive him a little crazy. It was what he deserved.
“Rina.” Like I’d somehow summoned him, his deep voice interrupted my thoughts.
The voice that took me back to last night immediately as he gave me rough commands, playing my body like no one ever had before, all while making sure he put my pleasure first. Looking out the window, I realized the sun was already setting—my hours of peace and quiet ending as the manor woke up.
Ezra slid into the chair across from me, and before I could blink, spun my book around so he could inspect it.
“Hey.” I frowned, reaching over to tug it back. “I was reading that.”
“Creatures of the Night: A History of Vampires? Really?”
I crossed my arms over my chest, unable to hide my frustration.
“I told you—I don’t know enough about your kind.
About a lot of things, apparently. So, I’ve been studying the old books you had here.
Though I’d been hoping to uncover a grimoire that might give us some answers, the books were highly enlightening. ”
Shuddering, I thought about the beings listed out in the bestiary I’d found buried under a thick layer of dust. Ezra’d been right when he’d warned me that there were worse things out there—things I hoped to never encounter.
Undeads sounded like a nightmare of my worst making.
Beasts I hoped would never find Pleasant Grove, because our town wouldn’t be the same ever again.
There were books on bloodlines, on old treaties and history that went back to the Dark Ages. I couldn’t imagine living an immortal lifespan—or painstakingly detailing one thousand years of life. But there were endless records here, many of which I’d deemed unimportant at first glance.
Scowling, I turned away from him—back to my book.
“Rina.” Ezra’s glare felt like it cut through me. “Why are you mad at me?”
“I never said I was mad at you,” I grumbled.
“But you are.” He stared at me, red eyes appraising. “I can tell. I know you.”
Shaking my head, I turned away. “No, you don’t. You barely know the first thing about me. Which is fine, because I clearly don’t know you as well as I thought.” I couldn’t reconcile this man who was keeping things from me with the one whose bed I’d been in last night.
“Put me out of my misery. Something’s got your panties in a twist.”
Would it be worse if he knew I wasn’t wearing any? “Oh gods. Never say that again. You sound like a boomer,” I groaned. My voice dropped, and I didn’t think I could keep the look of betrayal off my face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He frowned, staying lethally still. “Tell you what?”
“Blood mates,” I finally spat out. “What this is between us. You seem to have left important details out when explaining it to me.”
Ezra was already naturally pale, but it seemed like the blood drained from his face. “I was planning on telling you—”
“When exactly? When were you planning on telling me I was the only person you could drink from for the rest of your gods damned eternal life?” I was practically yelling now, and I couldn’t bring myself to lower my voice.
He shook his head. “You don’t understand. I wanted you to make your own choice. Not feel obligated because you had to.”
“Obligated?” I scoffed. “Do you think last night was an obligation, too?”
“No. Fuck. Of course not.”
“Then why would you think I shouldn’t be allowed to make my own decision, my own choice, when presented with all the facts? I’ve seen what happens when you don’t drink blood, Ezra. How sick you get. You think I would want you to have to live in that state?”
“You hate me,” he said, his eyes darkening. “You said it yourself—I’m a monster.”
Maybe. I couldn’t deny that those things had once been true. Though I wasn’t sure if that was how I felt anymore. I shook my head. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t deserve to know what was going on between us.”
His hand cupped my chin, roughly forcing my eyes to meet his, in a gesture that reminded me so much of how roughly he’d treated me last night. How much I’d liked it. No man had ever taken me like that before, and gods, I wanted it again.
His nostrils flared. “You’re right.” Those blood-red eyes held mine, full of so many swirling emotions I didn’t dare try to catalog them. “I’m sorry.” He stepped back. “I owe you the truth. All of it.”
I nodded. “Yes, you do.” I gestured around us. “Good thing all we’ve got is time.”
He swallowed roughly. “Not exactly.”
“What do you mean?”
Ezra reached over, pushing up the fabric on my dress until my arm was bared to him—until the darkened red mark that continued to grow came into view. “This. It’s only going to continue to develop the more I drink from you. And the deeper and darker it gets…”
“The less likely we are to ever break the bond?” I guessed.
He seemed careful not to drink from my neck, the spot where I knew Willow, Luna, and Eryne bore marks from their mates. Was that why? Because if he did, it would be the claiming Victoria had talked about?
Ezra massaged his forehead. “Yes. That is why I resisted, why I didn’t want to drink from you. Why I didn’t want to tell you the truth. Because I didn’t want to take your choice away.”
The vampire had always been adamant about my choice. But what about his?
I just couldn’t stomach the thought of something bad happening to him when he’d shown me who he really was—not a monster.
Not a bad person, despite that darkness swirling in his aura.
I’d been suspecting there was more to it than that for the last few days, anyway.
That it had something to do with things he wasn’t telling me, parts of his past I suspected he’d rather keep hidden.
How long? I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t bring myself to. What good would it be to know? “What happens if we fail?” I asked instead, words hardly more than a whisper. “What if we did all this, and there’s no way to undo it?”
“I don’t know.” His voice was bitter, words clipped. “Would it be so bad?” Ezra asked, shocking me. “Would you find it so abhorrent to be mated to me?”
My eyes widened. “I—Ezra. Neither of us chose this. Neither of us wanted this.” When I thought about last night, though, the way my body had come undone under his…
I didn’t think it would be so bad. We might fight all the time, but I’d witnessed plenty of couples argue growing up in Pleasant Grove.
Husbands and wives who had loved and married each other, whose relationships still fell apart.
But what happened if—when he left me? If he saw what everyone else had, eventually—that I wasn’t worth staying for? We’d be forced to be miserable for eternity, all because I was his blood mate.
He hung his head, looking less like an immortal being and more like a man—a man defeated by things he couldn’t control. “Fate is cruel.”
I gave him a helpless smile. “Sometimes, yeah.” My life certainly hadn’t gone according to plan.
But I couldn’t focus on that, or I’d never be able to get out of bed.
“There has to be an answer in here. In one of these books.” There were thousands, after all.
Knowledge I’d never even dreamed of. If I’d had it growing up in Pleasant Grove, maybe I would have made different choices.
“When was the last time anyone organized this place, anyway?” The library had been dusted regularly and kept clean, but it looked like someone had haphazardly shoved books onto shelves, not putting them back in their proper places.
Not to mention some of them hadn’t survived well, their bindings falling apart over the years.
Probably why I’d spent the better part of today just looking for books that might be of some use to me.
Ezra glanced around the room. “Probably more than a century ago. Definitely not in my memory.” He frowned, like he was seeing it for the first time, books shoved in stacks and piled in corners.
“It’s impossible to find anything useful,” I groaned, moving another heap of books. “Especially when I have no idea how they’re organized.”
He nodded. “I’ll help.”
After everything we’d just shared, I didn’t have the heart to tell him no.
Maybe we were finally moving in the right direction—finally understanding each other.