Chapter 13 #2
A hand on my arm breaks me from the conversation. Juniper is smiling as she tries to take her coat from my arms, and my knees give a little at the sight of her bright eyes gazing up at me.
I don’t entirely know what comes over me. It’s like I can’t resist, like I’ve forgotten that we’ve only just met.
I take her chin between my thumb and forefinger, bend my head, and bring her mouth to mine.
Fuck me running, her lips are soft.
It’s as automatic as if we’re done it a thousand times. As if picking her up after work is our routine, and the kiss is simply an acknowledgment of how much we missed one another.
Heat spreads down my arms. My legs weaken. It’s soft, barely lasting more than a couple of seconds…
And yet it feels like the beginning of forever.
“Oh,” she whispers once we part, her eyes widened at me.
I swallow, tongue darting out over my lips. “Sorry, that was—”
“It’s fine,” she says, and I can see her chest heaving. “Ah… Let’s go then.”
Shit.
Did I just fuck this up?
I hold out her coat, and she turns to slip her arms into it. She’s blatantly avoiding my eyes when she pivots to get Pack on her leash, and when she’s ready, I get the door in a hurry.
“Juniper,” I call out when she walks past me.
The door closes at my back, and Juniper finally looks at me.
“I just fucked up my chance tonight, didn’t I?” I ask.
Her eyes soften, and she looks like she’s going to laugh. “Not entirely. You just caught me off guard.”
“In a bad way?”
Juniper begins walking toward the street. All I can do is stare after her, wait for her to tell me I haven’t completely ruined this. I don’t know if I’ve ever been this obviously nervous.
I don’t like it.
Shit, is this how Nick feels sometimes?
It’s painful.
This is so painful. How does he function?
She glances over her shoulder at me once she hits the sidewalk. “Are you coming?”
“Am I invited?” I ask.
She shrugs, smile playing on her lips. “I have to get my underwear back somehow.”
I practically skip across the lot to catch up with her, and when I’m by her side again, she chuckles.
“Embarrassment is cute on you,” she says, walking.
“Don’t tell anyone. Especially my brother,” I cringe.
“In my experience, big tough guys who get weak for their crushes make the best little noises when they’re pegged,” she says.
I hollow out and peer sideways at her, trying poorly to hide my surprise. “You think I’m a big, tough guy?” I ask.
“That’s all you heard?” she asks.
An amused breath leaves me. “Did you expect me to deny anything else about that sentence?” I ask, brow lifting.
She lifts her chin and watches me for a beat, grin spreading. “No.”
“I’m glad to know I have zero surprises left in me. My confidence is just swelling around you,” I say sarcastically.
Because I am dwindling beneath her stare.
I’ve never felt so vulnerable in my life.
Why do I like it?
Juniper wraps her arm into mine and sinks her head on my shoulder. “Don’t worry. I can be your big spoon.”
I discreetly punch the air, and at the sound of her laugh, I clear my throat and stuff my hand back into my pocket. “I mean, no. Don’t. I don’t want to be held,” I say flatly.
“You can fuck my tits after,” she says.
“And I’m back on board.”
She laughs and holds onto my arm a little tighter, and for the rest of the walk to her home, I find myself in a daze. Every retort rolls off my tongue with ease. I’m admitting to things with her that I’ve never voiced aloud, feeling a swell in my chest that’s warm and disgustingly fuzzy.
By the time we’re nearly at her house, my insides are shriveling from not having her entirely yet.
“Here’s home,” she says when we reach her place.
I release an uneven breath and pause to look at the small home I spent all night in front of, not realizing this was the woman I’d be yearning so much for now.
She bends to let Pack off the leash, and when she straightens, I take hold of her wrist and pull her into me, making her sway as we stand still together. My forehead meets hers, and for a moment, I can’t think of a single thing to say.
“I have to go inside,” she eventually says.
“Are you inviting me in, too?” I ask, ready to beg.
She pulls back. Her eyes dart from mine to my lips. She leans closer, chin tipping back. Our mouths open and close a breath apart. I can feel her uncertainty, her hesitation. Her jaw begins to quiver.
“I want to,” she breathes.
“What’s stopping you?”
“I…” Her mouth closes as she swallows.
“The fun we’re going to have, darling,” I say, other hand wrapping around her cheek. “The things you didn’t know you desired… All of that starts here. With each of us. All together and apart. I can’t wait to show you everything.”
She steps out of my grasp so quickly that I nearly fall forward.
“Oh, god,” she says, hands threading into her hair. “Oh, god. This is bad. This is so bad.” She begins pacing in a circle, agony stretched across her features.
“What is?” I ask, though I already know the answer.
“How is there two of you?” she mutters under her breath. “How is this even happening?”
“Why is this so bad?” I ask.
“Because I like you, Jax. But I also really like Nick, and you’re brothers. It isn’t like you’re strangers. Strangers, I would be fine with not telling one about the other. But you’re not.”
I consider her conflict, the anguish on her face. I can say that this is okay all day, but she won’t believe me until she hears it from him.
“Okay,” I say, and I think it’s the first time in my life I’ve volunteered to wait.
She stops looking like she’s going to rip her hair out and peers at me surprised. “What?”
I take a step forward and bring her into my arms again. “Love, whenever you decide to let me in, I’ll be there. Sunset. Sunrise. The middle of the day or night. Today, tomorrow… I’ll come running when you’re ready.”