Chapter 4
(Audra)
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I’ve been out of it for a few hours. The pain medication knocked me out. When I come to, Ethan’s sitting beside me on the bed with a worried expression on his face.
I feel bad for being so useless. He literally, singlehandedly saved my life.
“Hello, husband,” I greet him with a small smile.
He exhales in relief, like what he’s been waiting to hear is my voice.
“Seeing as that’s the first thing out of your mouth, I’m guessing you feel better?” he questions, his brown eyes giving off a concerned look.
I groan while sitting up. Ethan helps me get comfortable against the headboard. After that, I stare at the neatly cleaned injury on my arm. It’s freshly bandaged, and it barely hurts anymore.
“Does it still hurt?” Ethan asks worriedly.
Tears well up in my eyes as I shake my head. I blink them away.
Christ, I’m a mess.
“No. You did a really good job. It doesn’t really hurt anymore,” I tell him.
He smiles softly.
“I’m glad.”
He gets up from the bed to head into the bathroom while I consider how the hell I’m supposed to thank him. I don’t even know where to start. Then I remember Capa, and my developing good mood dissipates rapidly.
He was just a kid.
When Ethan walks back in, he immediately frowns when he notices my expression.
“Audra...” he sighs. “You need to stop. He wouldn’t want you feeling guilty like this.”
“He also wouldn’t have wanted to bleed out and die from a bullet in his back,” I retort, suddenly angry.
If I hadn’t suggested to him that we wanted to break out. If only I hadn’t pleaded with him to help us. Capa hadn’t even asked me to take him in or give him a home if we escaped. All he had asked for was a meal. He wanted me to buy him a meal if we got out of there alive.
Ethan looks at a loss for words. I’m guessing comforting people isn’t his forte. But then he surprises me when he climbs into bed and pulls me into his arms.
“I wasn’t going to tell you this…. but I used to be a cop.”
That surprises me.
“Really?” I ask.
“Yeah. Unlike you, it wasn’t in a big city like New York.
It was a small town in Montana. Anyway, I had a partner.
His name was Jeff, and we were pretty close.
He was almost like a brother, honestly. Then one day, I went home early from work.
Jeff received a call or a tip-off from the station that a criminal we had been trying to find was at a particular bar.
He tried to call me, but my phone was dead, and there was no way to contact me.
So, he took it upon himself to nab the guy. All alone, without backup.
Long story short, things got out of control, and by the time I got there, Jeff was already gone. I couldn’t forgive myself for that. I quit my job and left the force. It still haunts me, even today.”
“That’s awful, Ethan,” I say softly.
“Yeah, but since then, I’ve taken it upon myself not to stray from this simple rule.
Never get into any shit without backup. Unless I’m sure someone is covering for me, I don’t head into danger.
I couldn’t be there for Jeff, but I at least owe it to him to do a good job and stay alive.
That’s really all we can do. Help the people we’ve lost feel more at peace by showing them that we’re at least leading good lives. ”
“I have a story like that too. But I can’t tell you right now because it’s going to just make me more upset. I want to pull myself together, but it’s hard. I feel like I led him to his death.”
“Audra, I’m sure wherever Capa is now, he’s probably at peace. He wouldn’t be mad at you.”
“You can’t know that,” I argue.
I feel him nod.
“You’re right. I can’t. I didn’t know much about the kid, but I know he had a good heart. And he seemed to care about you. You owe it to him to get through this. We both do,” Ethan says firmly.
I hear him, I really do, but it’s so fucking hard.
“Hey,” he says in a low voice, prompting me to look up at him. “You’re going to be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
He doesn’t realize the implications of those words and the way they make me feel. He’s been so sweet and caring, and I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel the way I’m feeling right now.
“You broke your rule,” I suddenly say.
“What?” he asks, confused.
“You said you never head into danger without backup, but you did. In that alley, you knew no one had your back, and yet you followed me anyway,” I say softly, staring into his eyes.
“You’re different,” he manages to say.
“How? How am I different?”
“Because for some reason, I can’t think when you’re in danger.”
Those words are like a lightning bolt straight to my heart. I’m still staring at him. He groans before pulling me up so that our faces are close to each other.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but the look you’re giving me is really giving off kiss-me vibes,” Ethan states.
I chuckle, then nod.
“So, you want me to kiss you?” he questions.
“Yes, go for it,” I tell him.
My tongue darts out to wet my bottom lip, and that seems to be the last straw for him. He pulls me closer, taking care to mind my injured arm. I let out a sigh of relief when our lips finally meet. It’s everything I’ve ever thought I wanted and more.
His lips are soft but firm as he takes exactly what he wants. His mouth moves against mine, but it isn’t until his tongue reaches for mine that I let out a huge moan.
“Fuck,” Ethan whispers against my mouth.
I haven’t dated much in my life. I’ve never been one of those women who had enough time or willpower for a commitment.
Most of my relationships in my adult life have been more casual than anything else.
I can’t remember the last time I bonded with a guy on a more emotional level or any level that didn’t involve sex.
Maybe it’s because he saved my life, and we’ve bonded through our shared trauma the past few days. This kiss with Ethan is everything and so much more.
“You’re so fucking beautiful. You have no idea,” Ethan whispers as he kisses down my neck.
It’s those words that remind me of something extremely important. I haven’t been able to wash in three days. My eyes widen, and I immediately push him off.
“What?” he asks through hooded lids and his choppy breathing.
“I need a shower,” I burst out.
Ethan is momentarily shocked before he starts laughing.
“You actually do,” he says.
I gasp and chuck a pillow at him.
“Jerk.”
He’s already showered and clean, which makes it even worse.
I jump out of bed and, to keep things a little sexy, I start stripping out of the black leggings and blue shirt.
By the time I take off my bra and panties, Ethan’s eyes have darkened with lust. He’s staring at me like I’m food that needs to be devoured.
I point at him.
“We’ll continue this as soon as I come out,” I tell him, heading for the bathroom door.
He nods eagerly, watching me with a glint in his eyes. Then I turn around to look at him.
“You haven’t been able to contact your teammates?” I question.
He wore a disguise when he left the motel but I’m sure he must have found a payphone to contact his team. Ethan shakes his head in reply to my question.
“For some reason, the line keeps dropping. I’m not sure why.
I’d like to believe the terrorists aren’t powerful enough to stop communication with the U.S.
in this region, but anything’s possible; we’re not that far from their base.
The government could be working with them.
I’ll have to look for another means of contacting my team.
The payphones clearly aren’t an option.”
I remember my friend and groan in frustration when I still couldn’t remember his address. I’ve never been to his place, but it had been on my cellphone, which is long gone. I’m sure it’ll come to me soon. I’m pretty sure he’s the only person who can help us right now.
“Stop worrying and go get a shower,” Ethan says impatiently.
I smile before doing just that. I’m actually excited.
My heart is beating like I’ve just run a marathon.
As soon as I’m alone in the bathroom, I take a deep calming breath.
Then I take the quickest shower I’ve ever taken in my life.
Despite that, it’s exactly what I needed, and it immediately calms me and helps me feel better.
Now that I’m clean, I can think more clearly, yet I still want to continue what Ethan and I started.
I don’t have any clothes to change into, and I don’t need any. Wrapped in a towel, I gingerly take a step out. When I spot Ethan, he’s on the bed, in nothing but his boxers. The sight of all his exposed skin and muscles makes my mouth dry up.
“Hey,” I say dumbly and awkwardly when I’m a few feet from the bed.
Ethan grins before pulling me toward the bed and into his lap.
“Hey,” he says back before his mouth descends on mine.
Soon enough, my ability to think clearly completely dissolved.