Chapter 17
All the way home, Paisley told herself she shouldn’t invite Ethan inside.
She should say goodbye outside, thank him for the pizza and the lovely evening—and it had been lovely, because they’d talked about so many things that weren’t painful—and then go inside and put Violet to bed.
After, she could have a glass of wine and read her book. The perfect end to a perfect day.
Ethan turned onto Chestnut Street and parked in front of her Kia. It wasn’t dark yet, but dusk was fast approaching and she was glad he’d told her to leave the lights on. Her house was lit up and welcoming.
“Don’t move,” he said when Paisley reached for the truck’s door.
She waited with a hot feeling in her chest as he walked around and opened it for her.
Then he opened Violet’s and helped her down from the car seat.
In less time than she expected, he had it unbuckled from his truck and slung across one arm.
Paisley closed the truck door and took Violet’s hand in hers as Ethan put Violet’s seat into the back of her Kia and secured it.
When he closed the door, she hit the fob to lock it again.
Now was the moment of truth. Tell him goodnight and thank you. Let him walk away.
“Thank you for dinner. We enjoyed it very much.”
“You’re welcome. I enjoyed it too.” He nodded at the house. “I’ll wait until you get inside.”
The words tumbled out before she could stop them. “Would you like to come in? Unless you need to get back. I completely understand.”
He smiled, and her chest squeezed tight. “I can come in.”
Her heart took off, careening wildly against her ribs. “Okay, great. And now I’m nervous about doing everything right to get inside.”
He grinned. “You’ve been doing it right, haven’t you? I haven’t gotten any alarms.”
“Yes, but you weren’t standing over me.”
“Was when we practiced it this weekend.”
That was certainly true.
“Hey, Miss V, want to stand with me while your mama opens the door?”
He held out his hand to her daughter and Violet went to him without hesitation.
It made Paisley’s breath catch, and it worried her too.
Was it wise to let her child form an attachment to him?
Then again, it was a little late to worry about it.
Violet already liked him, and he’d promised to take her camping.
Was it truly so bad to let her have a positive experience with an adult male instead of the confused and terrifying experience she’d had with Trey?
Paisley swallowed her reservations and got to work disarming the system and opening the door.
She wasn’t afraid anyone waited for her inside.
There’d been no alerts while they were out.
The camera had picked up neighbor kids riding bikes on the sidewalk as well as a couple of neighbors walking dogs, but nobody had approached the house.
It was a peace of mind she hadn’t thought she’d get so soon after leaving Destin. And she owed it all to the man she’d never thought to see again. He let Violet go in front of him and then followed her inside and shut the door. Naturally, he locked it.
Paisley fixed her gaze on Violet. “Need you to get ready for bed, Vivi. It’s after eight.”
As if on cue, her child yawned. “Don’t wanna go to bed, Mommy. I want to talk to Mr. Ethan.”
“You’ve been talking to Mr. Ethan, honey. It’s time to get ready for bed.” Violet had a bath before dinner, so another wasn’t necessary. A good thing since Violet wasn’t a fan of baths. “Go put on your jammies and brush your teeth. I’ll come read you a bed time story when you’re ready.”
“Want Mr. Ethan to read one.”
Paisley met Ethan’s gaze. He shrugged. “Sure, I can do that. Best get ready like your mama said or we can’t have story time.”
Violet ran down the hall to her bedroom and slammed the door behind her. “Well,” Paisley said with a laugh. “She moved a lot faster than I thought she would. She likes you, Ethan. Thank you for being gentle with her.”
He’d shoved his hands into his pockets. She wasn’t accustomed to a tall, broody, gorgeous man in her small living room, but she liked it.
Even though he sucked all the oxygen away just by being there.
He’d worn a black short-sleeved henley with cargo shorts and flip-flops and she couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d look like out of them.
Which was not what she needed to be thinking.
Her life was too complicated. Trey wasn’t the distant memory she wanted him to be.
He was an ever-present threat. Plus there was Violet to consider.
Her daughter liked Ethan, but if Paisley did what she wanted to do and let the physical side take control, what would happen then?
Ethan wasn’t going to fall in love with her after she’d been with Trey.
He wasn’t going to marry her and raise a child that he believed to be Trey’s.
“Gentle is the only way to be,” he said, his voice a soft rumble that stroked her senses with remembered tenderness. “I’m sorry Trey was a dick, Paisley. He had the best things in life with you and that kid. He should have treasured you both.”
She needed a glass of wine. Now. “You want anything?” she asked as she moved toward the kitchen. “A beer? Wine? Tea?”
“Beer’s good.”
She didn’t turn on the light. It was dark in the kitchen, but the light from the living room spilled in and illuminated the space.
She got a glass out of the cabinet, took the wine from the fridge and poured it nearly to the top.
Then she got a beer and went searching for the bottle opener.
When she couldn’t find the opener in the drawer, she slammed it harder than she should have.
Silent tears coursed hotly down her cheeks. She gulped them back and told herself to get a grip.
Strong arms wrapped around her from behind, tugged her against a hard chest. His mouth was at her ear.
“It’s okay, Payz. I’ve got you. Cry if you need to.”
“I hate him, Ethan. I hate what he did to us. He ruined everything. Because he wanted to. No other reason.”
Ethan squeezed her a little tighter. She put a hand on his arm. Warm. Firm. Strong. The kind of arm that took care of you, held you, supported you.
“I know, baby. He took you away from me, but he also gave you Violet. You can’t regret that.”
Oh God.
“No, of course not.” Her throat felt like she’d swallowed razor blades.
“She’s a sweet kid.”
God, it hurt. “She is.”
Ethan lay his cheek on top of her head and held her while she got herself back together. The pain subsided. It didn’t go away, because it never would, but it lay dormant inside, waiting for the trigger.
“You good?” he asked after a few minutes.
“Yes. Thank you.” She sniffed and wiped away the tears. “I couldn’t find the bottle opener. I guess I sound unhinged if that’s all it took to make me cry.”
He let her go and picked up the bottle, twisted the cap like it was nothing. “Don’t need one, babe. Besides, we both know it’s about more than a bottle opener. And that’s okay. You’re allowed to be angry about what he did. You can hate him and wish him dead if you want. God knows I do.”
“I definitely wish him dead. I fantasize about him not coming back from one of those overseas jobs of his. I know it’s wrong, but I honestly don’t care. I’d finally feel safe again.”
“When did he get out of the military?”
“About a year after you left. His enlistment was up, and he wanted to start his own protection business. He said that military commanders tied the hands of operators, and that he could do more good if he recruited guys he knew and did the jobs the military couldn’t or wouldn’t.
” She took a big drink of her wine, let it scald her throat on the way down.
“He didn’t hit me until after he left the military.
I thought maybe it was the pressure of starting a business.
I made all kinds of excuses for him, but I had Violet by then and I didn’t think I had anywhere to go.
The one time I got the courage to leave, he locked me in a dark closet for hours and told me what would happen if I ever did.
He made me so terrified that I wouldn’t even leave when he was gone for weeks.
” She snorted. “God, I loved it when he was gone.”
Ethan’s throat moved. He turned his head and focused on a point on the wall. His expression was hard and angry, but she thought maybe his eyes were a little glassy. Like he was fighting tears of his own.
“I shouldn’t be saying these things. It does no good, and it makes you mad.”
His gaze whipped to hers again. “It makes me fucking insane, Payz. I want to find him and put a bullet in his head. I won’t, because I can’t see a way to do it without putting the people I care about in a difficult position, but if he ever shows up here and threatens you, all bets are off.
I’ll drop him like the rabid dog he is—and I won’t care who knows it. ”
Paisley shivered. “I don’t want you to do that. I don’t want him on your conscience.”
“He already is.”
They stared at each other without speaking for a long moment.
She wanted to go to him, fling herself into his arms, and beg him to hold her.
And then she wanted to get naked with him, feel the way she used to feel when he was inside her.
She wanted nothing between them, just skin and heat, her slick channel surrounding his thick cock as they moved together, lightning sparking inside her.
She wanted to forget everything that made her sad, lose herself in him, remember what it was like to feel pleasure and happiness, even if it was only temporary.
“Ethan,” she began.
“Mommy! Mr. Ethan! I’m ready for a story!” Violet yelled from the hallway.
“It’s okay,” Ethan said softly. “Let’s go read that story and make her happy. You can tell me later.”
But she wasn’t sure she could. The moment was gone.
And maybe that was best.