Chapter Nineteen
chapter NINETEEN
E than had been at the shop for half an hour when Beau’s truck pulled in the drive. Glancing over at the clock on the wall, he realized it was only six o’clock. Shit . The sun wasn’t even up yet. The guy was an hour early. Figured. Ethan wouldn’t be able to lay into him for coming into work late.
Yes, his attitude had taken a drastic decline since Blake’s impromptu appearance and the argument they had after Beau’s ill-timed departure.
Ethan’s entire body hummed with the urge to fight. He wanted to blame it on Blake’s arrogance, but the fact that he’d asked Beau to stay and was rewarded with the sight of Beau driving away had left a gaping hole inside Ethan’s chest. He had actually opened himself up for the first time and look where it had gotten him.
No-fucking-where.
When Beau’s boots shuffled on the concrete, Ethan tried not to look up from what he was doing. Tried. Didn’t succeed.
“Mornin’,” Beau greeted him, sounding as tired as Ethan felt.
“Coffee’s in the office,” he informed him, trying to pretend this was nothing more than business. If he could keep himself distanced from this man, he’d consider it a good day.
“Thanks.”
Obviously Beau wasn’t much in the talking mood at the butt-crack of dawn either, and Ethan should’ve been relieved.
He wasn’t.
He wanted to bombard Beau with words. Ask him why he left. Explain what had happened with Blake. Yell at him for walking away.
He didn’t do any of that.
Sipping his coffee, he fiddled with the engine beneath the open hood, not actually seeing anything in front of him.
For the last few hours, before he’d finally forced himself out of bed, he had tossed and turned, feeling completely and utterly alone for the first time in a long time. And it wasn’t like he didn’t spend every night by himself. But for some reason, after what happened between him and Beau the day before, the loneliness had taken on a heavier weight. He felt smothered by it.
But there wasn’t much he could do about it now.
“Want me to work on something specific?” Beau asked, appearing to have distanced himself from Ethan on every level except maybe the business one.
Ethan didn’t like that fact.
He liked the Beau who had pursued him for the last few months. Liked the guy who managed to snag his attention without even trying.
Not this guy. The one who acted like nothing happened yesterday. Nothing that had actually tilted Ethan’s world on its axis and left him reeling from the intensity. Only he couldn’t let Beau know that. It was clear that Ethan was becoming the clingy guy he absolutely couldn’t stand.
And he was being selfish to boot. He wanted the distance between them, right? Why should it matter who instigated it?
“You have any experience with heavy equipment?” Ethan asked, hoping he sounded professional. Considering he hadn’t bothered to look at Beau since he came out of the small office, he wasn’t sure how well he was faring.
“Yup,” Beau said easily.
Ethan did turn to look at him then. “Not at Dillinger’s, I take it?”
Beau shook his head as he sipped his coffee. “I help my uncle on occasion, when he’s overloaded.”
Ethan had no idea who Beau’s uncle was, and it didn’t appear Beau was going to offer him any additional details. “That tractor’s hydraulics went out last week. Can’t get it to lift,” he explained to Beau, nodding toward the mountainous tractor that was taking up one of the heavy-duty bays.
“Got it,” Beau said simply, not bothering to linger any longer to chat.
Ethan was fine with that. Really.
Grabbing his now empty coffee mug, he made his way to the office to get a refill. When he walked inside, Ethan noticed the coffeepot was once again full. Apparently Beau had started another pot.
Fuck.
Why did he have to be so damn thoughtful? That was only another reason Ethan wanted to bang his head against the wall. The guy was too good to be true. Had to be. That was the only logical conclusion.
After pouring another cup of java, Ethan forced himself to get to work. The opportunity to get caught up had presented itself by way of Beau, and he damn sure wasn’t going to pass it up.
Mainly because he had no idea how long it was going to last.
THE DAY PASSED without incident.
That was a first in an awful long time for Beau. Considering he was used to spending his days working solo because Ricky was too busy with his head up his own ass, it was nice to work with Ethan. The man was a machine. He bounced around from one job to another, keeping them all documented and up to speed.
After Beau had gotten as far as he could with the tractor, including ordering the parts he needed, he had asked Ethan what else he could do. Thankfully, Ethan showed him the ropes. Every job was ticketed, and all the details were right there in a file folder, including parts ordered, issues identified, and miscellaneous notes. Beau hadn’t needed to bother Ethan for the rest of the day, picking up a couple of tickets and working them.
Avoiding Ethan hadn’t been in his original plan, but the second he walked through the door, he sensed that Ethan was in a mood. And he knew, based on experience, pushing Ethan wouldn’t get him real far. He had needed to let Ethan simmer down some before he decided to address this new stage they’d moved to.
And yes, Beau considered them to be at a progressive point in this relationship, no matter what the hell Ethan thought. Last night hadn’t been pretty, but it had been necessary.
By the time five o’clock rolled around, Beau was starving. They’d skipped lunch, working straight through without even realizing. And now, based on the way Ethan was going, the guy didn’t plan to stop anytime in the near future.
Beau was hoping to change his mind.
“Hey,” he called out as he joined Ethan by Brendon’s nearly finished work truck.
“You’re free to go whenever you want,” Ethan mumbled from beneath the hood.
“I’m here until you’re done,” Beau told him, hoping that would at least get Ethan’s attention. Never mind the fact that he would stay until Ethan had the opportunity to leave as well. If there was work that needed to be finished, he wasn’t going to walk out just yet. He wasn’t built that way.
“No worries. I’ll finish up with this one and head out. See you tomorrow.”
Again, Ethan didn’t bother to look at him, but Beau had gotten used to that throughout the day. Ethan had looked at him maybe five or six times during the ten hours they’d been working practically side by side. The rest of the time he appeared to be ignoring him.
Well, Beau was tired of being ignored.
“It’ll be here in the morning when we get back,” Beau told him, waiting for that instant when Ethan finally lost his temper. He knew it was coming. The guy had kept it bottled up all day.
Beau had forced himself to keep his mouth shut up to this point. When he got there, he wanted to drill Ethan about Blake’s appearance last night. He wanted to know what happened, when Blake left— if Blake left. But he hadn’t been able to bring himself to ask.
“I said I’m good, Bennett,” Ethan bit out, pulling his head out from beneath the hood and standing tall. He spared a quick glance in Beau’s direction before slipping around to the side of the truck.
Having had enough, Beau followed close behind. Before Ethan could get the driver’s side door open, Beau put his hand up and stopped him.
“What the fu—”
He didn’t let Ethan get the words out before he was on him. Backing Ethan’s stiff back against the door, Beau sandwiched him, pressing the full length of his body against Ethan’s front. Slamming his mouth down on Ethan’s, he took what he’d longed for since the second he walked out of Ethan’s house the night before.
Surprisingly, Ethan didn’t push him away. Instead, his body seemed to relax beneath the onslaught, his hands sliding up to rest on Beau’s hips. The scents of grease and sweat and man mingled together, making Beau crazy with lust. He wanted Ethan. He wanted what they’d shared yesterday.
He wanted more.
Aware of the grease staining his fingers, he resisted the urge to cup Ethan’s face, but he couldn’t resist sliding his hand into his hair, dislodging his ball cap as he pulled him closer, holding him as he devoured him with lips, teeth, tongue.
By the time they were both panting, Beau figured some of Ethan’s resistance had died a quick, painless death. Not willing to risk Ethan running, Beau separated their mouths, but kept his fingers twined in the soft hair at the back of Ethan’s head.
“You need to lose the attitude,” Beau stated forcefully.
“Fuck you,” Ethan retorted, without the blast of enmity Beau figured he had meant to include.
“I can arrange that,” Beau taunted.
“Can you? You think I can handle it?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Beau was thoroughly confused.
“You sure I won’t break? You treat me like I’m someone you should cherish.”
Beau frowned, not expecting to see this side of Ethan. Was he mocking what they’d shared yesterday? “What are you saying?”
Ethan glared at him, his throat working as he swallowed several times.
“I don’t want gentle, Beau. I’m not that man.”
Beau got that. Ethan had made a point to prove it. But Beau could see past that aggressive need to be in control. He wouldn’t tell Ethan that though.
“There’s a time and place for everything,” Beau assured him. “You want me to slam you against this truck and fuck you until you scream my name? That what you want, E?”
“What if I said yes?” Ethan taunted.
Beau’s cock went stiff instantly. His body was perfectly in tune with the idea of turning Ethan around and impaling him. But was that what Ethan wanted? Shit, was that what Beau wanted for his first time?
“Can’t do it, can you?” Ethan snarled, trying to push him away.
Beau backed off, his own emotions at war inside of him. Did he want Ethan to push him away? No. Did he want to give in to this urge and potentially damage all that he’d worked to establish between them?
“No,” Beau said suddenly. “I can’t fucking do it. I’m not that guy, E.” It was nothing but the truth. Funny how admitting something so personal felt like he’d sliced open his chest and given Ethan direct access to his heart.
“Why? Because you think I’m a fucking pussy?”
Beau nearly stumbled from the shock of Ethan’s statement. “Where the hell would you come up with that idea?”
A storm cloud of emotions darkened Ethan’s eyes, and Beau moved closer, desperately wanting to hear this. But, just as he expected, Ethan didn’t elaborate.
“Fucking forget it,” Ethan growled.
Beau cleared the distance between them in an instant, once again pushing Ethan up against the truck, his mouth hovering just a breath away from Ethan’s. “I don’t want to forget it. Why the hell would you think that?”
Again Ethan didn’t answer, and Beau knew if there was any hope of salvaging this, he was going to have to talk Ethan down. The man had a trigger-happy temper for whatever reason, but until Beau could get him to open up, he knew he had his work cut out for him.
He never backed down from a challenge. Especially one that was so damned important to him.
“I want to spend time with you,” Beau admitted, hoping that, by opening up a little, he’d bridge some of the chasm that had formed between them last night when Blake had shown up to ruin the entire night.
“That so?” Ethan asked skeptically, some of the agitation in his tone cooling. “Kinda like I needed you last night?”
Beau knew Ethan was trying to punish him for leaving. He didn’t necessarily blame him. It had taken more willpower than he thought he possessed just to drive away. But he’d known it was the right thing to do.
“Yes, it is so.” Beau was all for trying to reason with Ethan, but he wasn’t up for arguing with him. He’d learned a long time ago that the guy would only do what he wanted. For months, Beau had sat by patiently waiting for the moment Ethan gave in to what was brewing between them. Now that that day had come and gone, he wasn’t willing to let him go that easily, but he also wasn’t going to fight him on it.
“Sorry, I’m busy,” Ethan said harshly.
When Ethan tried to pull away, Beau quickly grabbed his wrists, lifting his hands and pressing them securely against the door behind him, holding him in place.
“Is this really what you want?” Beau asked seriously.
He was tired of playing games. If Ethan wanted to do this, to put a halt to this extraordinary thing happening between them, then Beau would back away. Not happily, but he wasn’t up for the bullshit that came along with following Ethan like a fucking puppy.
He knew what sparked between them. Had felt it firsthand. He also knew that what they’d shared didn’t happen every day to every person. But if Ethan was too fucking stubborn to realize that, Beau would walk away. It was all he had to offer at the moment. Falling in love with someone didn’t mean he had to let go of his pride.
“What do you want?” Ethan asked, his eyes narrowed on Beau’s face.
“You,” he replied simply.
“That didn’t seem to be the case last night,” Ethan retorted with an abundance of frustration ringing clearly in Beau’s ears.
Beau sucked in a deep breath, trying to hold his anger inside. He wasn’t the type to fly off the handle without some serious provocation, but for some reason the anger was on a rapid boil and threatening to overflow at any second. “Then you don’t remember things quite the way I do,” Beau said calmly, choking back the rage that was threatening to spew forth.
He had to get Ethan over the fact that he’d left. It was time that they moved on. That was one thing he noticed about Ethan: he clung to things from the past, let them build until chaos drowned out anything reasonable. It explained a lot about the man.
“I remember asking you to stay. I also remember you walking away.”
Beau heard the words, heard the pain in Ethan’s delivery. He also noticed that, although Ethan was pissed, he wasn’t trying to pull away. That was a good sign.
“I remember your cock in my ass,” Beau said, keeping his voice low and even, his eyes trained on Ethan’s. “I remember you sucking my dick until I thought my head was going to explode.” Beau lifted Ethan’s wrists a little higher as he leaned in close. “I remember wanting to fuck you until neither one of us could see straight. To find out for myself just what it feels like to be deep inside of you.” Beau paused, letting his breath fan over Ethan’s lips. “I’m still waiting to find out. So, you’re right. We don’t remember it the same.”
The irregular rhythm of Ethan’s breathing told Beau he was just as affected by his descriptive recollection as he was.
Figuring Ethan would either give up or get more defensive, Beau decided to leave the decision to him. Releasing his wrists, he started to move back, but before he could get out of Ethan’s personal space, he was being pulled back. Ethan’s hands were in his hair, pulling him close, sending shards of pleasure-pain bolting through his scalp. He didn’t even have time to inhale before Ethan’s mouth was on his, his tongue plunging in deep and hard.
Beau let Ethan control the kiss, didn’t use his hands to touch him in return although he wanted to. If he had his way, he’d strip Ethan bare right there in the middle of the shop and drop to his knees and suck him deep into his mouth. Then he’d turn him around and fuck him until they were both wild with lust. Because yes, Beau had never been so eager to know what it felt like to be consumed by Ethan completely.
“My house,” Ethan moaned against his lips a few seconds later.
Beau contemplated the idea for a minute. He wanted nothing more than to go to Ethan’s house, hide away for the night, and steal several hours of alone time. Hell, it was all he’d been able to think about. But for some reason, he didn’t think that was the most brilliant plan. Allowing Ethan to turn this into nothing more than a casual sexual encounter wasn’t going to get them where Beau hoped they’d be.
“Not just yet,” Beau said softly. “I’ve got to meet Zane. And I want you to come with me. It’s just to Moonshiners.” Before Ethan could argue, Beau put his hand up to silence him. “We don’t have to be obvious, but I’m not going to let you hide from everyone. One beer, that’s all I ask.”
Beau thought for sure Ethan was going to say no. In fact, the silence that lingered between them for long, agonizing seconds had sparked the disappointment in his gut. And then, before he could say anything more, Ethan nodded.
“One beer. I’ve got to go home and shower first. I’ll meet you there.”
Beau studied Ethan for a moment, wondering if he was just agreeing in order to placate him. Even if he was, Beau had to trust him this go-round. If he didn’t show up, Beau would be at his doorstep, and they’d hash it out then.
Beau nodded in agreement, placing another gentle kiss on Ethan’s lips.
“I’m gonna head home and shower, too. I’ll see you there.” Without waiting for Ethan to respond, Beau turned away. He only stopped when Ethan’s strong hand circled his bicep.
“Pack a bag,” Ethan said with a wicked grin. “I expect you to stay at my house tonight. And this time you won’t have the option of walking away.”
Beau smiled back, realizing exactly what Ethan was saying. If he didn’t intend to show up, he wouldn’t have made plans for after.
For now, he was going to celebrate this very small victory.