4. Ethan
4
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“You better check yourself, son,” Ghost growls loudly, taking two steps forward, pushing Mack to the side, and putting himself in front of me. “Skyler is my family, and I am part of this club. You’ll respect her as if she was my own daughter. Are we clear?”
“If you’re okay with her being responsible for people around here dyin’, I guess that’s on you.”
“Enough!” Gabe roars, causing everyone in the room to go silent once more. “Get your shit in check right the fuck now, Ethan.”
“For the rest of you, Ghost is right. George was a friend to this club and Ghost’s brother-in-law. Therefore, Skyler is family. As such, she has our complete loyalty and support,” Gabe shouts for the entire room to hear. His tone is clearly saying back the fuck down. Everyone, even the women nod. Everyone but me. None of this is news; I know the way the club works. The Kings take care of their own. But I can’t get on board with loyalty to Sky. Not a fucking chance in hell.
Gabe stomps over to stand between Ghost and me. I’m sure he recognizes there’s not much holding either of us back. I’m not too far from taking a swing at all these assholes.
Guys fight. It’s not uncommon around here. Shit happens when you get drunk and stupid. But this would be fueled by grief, anger, and protective instincts versus, hurt, rage, and the need for vengeance.
“We clear, Ethan?” Gabe asks, but it’s not a question. It’s a command for me to step down and shut my mouth.
I respond with the only thing I can. “We’re clear, Pres,” I reply, but still I don’t make the slightest move to stand down.
“As I was saying before shit went off the rails, we have a family funeral to prepare for!” Gabe shouts out over the room. “I hate repeating myself but seems some of you weren’t listening the first time. Ma already knows what I need from her and the other women. I’m leaving it to her to handle that shit. The rest of you, finish your food. You have fifteen minutes then I want all your asses in church. Eli you and your men get a bite to eat too. There’s plenty to go around.” Eli nods in agreement.
Gabe steps up close, poking me in the chest with his meaty finger, and speaking low enough those close by can’t hear. “Ethan, go somewhere and cool the fuck off. I want you levelheaded and ready to listen when we get into church. We have a killer to find and shit to sort out. I don’t have time to hold your hand while you get your fucking emotions under control. I know this is a shock to you having Sky here. This whole situation is a shock to us all. But a loyal friend was murdered. Get your shit sorted then get your ass back into church. You got me?”
I don’t hesitate in my response. I look my Pres square in the eye and nod. “Got you.”
Then I walk out the front door with Hawk trailing behind me, calling back, “I’ve got him, Pres.”
I’m sitting outside under the patio cover, planted on top of the wooden picnic table with a bottle of whiskey Hawk brought me dangling between my fingers. It’s still early morning, and Kieran, my trainer and business partner would have my ass, but I don’t give a shit. I need to feel the burn of the liquid and the soothing calm it will eventually bring.
Hawk plants himself on the table beside me, coffee mug in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
The memories come flooding back.
“Ethan, you have to come home.” My mother’s voice sounds shaky as she speaks through gasps and tears. “It’s Emily. She’s…she’s...” She struggles to finish her sentence.
“What did she do this time?” I ask, grabbing my things from around my room giving them the sniff test before tossing them in my bag to head to my next sparring session.
Emily’s always doing something our mother doesn’t approve of. Dating some guy Mom thinks is below her standards. Wearing clothes “too revealing for a young girl her age.” Going to parties with friends Mom doesn’t approve of. She’s not all together wrong about Em. She is a little wild. With Mom working two jobs to keep up with the bills, she’s always tired. My leaving for camp taking half my income with me so I could take care of my own needs, making it to where Mom has to take on extra shifts to make up for the loss. Things are a bit shaky at home to say the least.
I’m fully expecting Mom to rant about another ridiculous stunt my sister has pulled, I’m still going about my way getting ready for the gym. But her next words tilt my world on its axis stopping me cold in my tracks.
“She’s dead, Ethan.” My mother sobs through the phone. I drop mine to the floor as time seems to come to a screeching halt. The numbers on the digital clock across the room blur. The drip in the bathroom sink attached to my room becomes louder. Even my own breathing sounds loud and labored, as if Darth Vader himself entered the room, piercing the silence.
Slowly, I bend to pick up the phone and put it to my ear, my mind racing with questions. The walls of the small two-bedroom apartment I rent with my teammate, Andreas feel like they’re closing in on me. Trying to stand up straight, catching myself with my hand on the wall, I begin to move slowly through the apartment gathering my things to leave.
I need air and to get the fuck out of here. I’ve got to get to Mom.
With each wobbly step I take, I feel like I’m trapesing through a funhouse surrounded by those silly mirrors. They change and distort things. Everything seems fuzzy, blurring together as I try to fight back tears.
“How?” One word. It’s all I can choke out past the lump forming in my throat. I don’t know what I’m expecting her to say. Car accident. Drowning in the lake she loves to frequent with Skyler. Anything, but what she says next.
“The sheriff said she overdosed based on the call that came in. But Ethan, he said there was more to it. Emily was found in the back seat of her car. Her clothes were torn. Covered in blood. Her body broken and bruised. They said she was…she was…”
I know what she’s going to say even though she struggles to get the words out. She was raped. Beaten. Murdered.
“Shh. Mom, it’s okay. I’m coming.” I gather every ounce of strength I can muster to keep my voice calm and steady. She needs me to be that for her. “I’ll be home soon, and the police can tell me everything okay. Give me a few hours. I’m coming. Call Aunt Madalyn. Have her come sit with you until I get there.”
“The sheriff only came to the door to tell me a few moments ago. He’s out front on his radio talking to someone. His deputy is in the living room. I stepped away to call…y-you. I n-need you, Ethan.” Mom sobs.
“I’m coming home. I need to get things sorted. To get a plane ticket, then I’m on my way, Mom.”
I came to this camp for an opportunity to become professional MMA fighter. I came into this thing with little more than the clothes on my back. The camp takes us through rigorous training, a series of team challenges, and carefully matched cage fights. The top two competitors who make it past elimination are guaranteed contracts and a televised debut fight on pay-per-view. It was my one shot to make something of myself.
Promoters. Sponsorships. Training camps. Teams.
None of it matters now. Nothing except getting home.
Mom sniffles and whimpers into the phone, “I’m sorry. I just can’t…I...”
“Shh. I understand. I, um…” I need to ask her one more thing. I need to know because Skyler and Emily are like two peas in a pod. They’re always together getting into trouble with one another. If Emily was killed and Skyler was with her, I need to know was she…Oh God.
“Mom, where’s Skyler?” Everything in me is hoping and praying they weren’t together. Maybe it makes me a fucked up person to hope my sister was alone, but I don’t know what I would do if I lost them both. If they were both…I can’t think about it.
Mom’s silent on the other end.
“Mom?” I try again. Putting my phone on speaker, I open the text screen and shoot off a message to Skyler.
Another soft sob sounds through the phone. “Ethan. Skyler was the one who called the police. She was with Emily.”
My heart stalls out for a beat at her words. So many paralyzing thoughts run through my mind, but I can’t bring myself to ask my mom anything too detailed. She’s already rattled enough as it is.
Hearing Skyler was with Emily in the end, makes me wonder how this all came about. Were they together when it happened? Was Skyler injured or drugged? Did Skyler witness Emily’s death? I need to get to her. I shoot off another text to Skyler’s phone waiting impatiently for her to answer me.
“Ethan…”
“What?” I snap. Panic takes ahold of my lungs, squeezing until I’m gasping for the slightest bit of air. My mind takes another gruesome turn. What if the sick bastards found her? I’m on my feet again, moving quickly throughout the room, shoving the rest of my belongings into my bag. I type out a text to the coach telling him I quit. I don’t have time to get into details with him; I’m in a hurry to get back to them, so a simple text will have to do. Not that it matters. I’ll be replaced within the hour.
Realizing my dickish outburst, I quickly apologize. “I’m sorry, Mom. I’m worried about you. About Sky. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
The next three words cut like a knife through my chest and tip my entire world off its axis.
“Skyler’s gone, Ethan.”
“Gone? What do you mean gone? Gone where? Like Emily gone?” My heart stutters in my chest. Images of her lying on the ground beaten and bruised, brutally assaulted and lifeless flash through my mind like a movie reel and my knees give out. I slide down the wall, my ass hitting the floor. My chest feels like a three-hundred-pound weight is trying to crush the life out of me. My head is throbbing, my heart is pounding. I can’t fucking breathe.
“Nobody knows, sweetheart.” She sniffles. The sound of a tissue crumpling against the phone and her deep inhale mingle together.
“I don’t understand.”
“When the ambulance and police arrived on scene, Skyler was nowhere to be found. Before coming to see me, Sherriff Dawson drove by her house to question her about the incident. George said she was gone. He had come home from working a late shift and found her room a mess. Her closet was half empty and she’d taken a few pictures and things of her mother’s from her drawers, but that was it. He has Gabe and his men out looking for her.”
“Did they track her phone? Maybe whoever did this took her.” She wouldn’t just leave me. I know she wouldn’t leave me to face this alone. My head feels foggy, a haze rendering me speechless. There’s a sound like a drum beating loudly in my ears, pulsing, and pounding with the erratic beat of my own heart as panic begins to set in.
“She left her phone and her purse at the house. Wherever she is…” she says, her voice a soft whisper. “I’m sorry, baby. I know how much you love her, but I don’t believe Skyler’s ever coming back.”
Gabe had his men out searching for what seemed like years but was only a couple of days. I thought Skyler was dead, until a week after her disappearance, only days before we were finally going to get to bury Emily, George told me she’d called to tell him she was safe and wouldn’t be coming home to Oak Ridge ever again. She couldn’t handle being in place where every memory held so much pain and loss.
I hit rock bottom after that.
Everyone turned out to bury Emily. The Kings stood at my back. All of them there for us. The entire town embraced my mother and me in our darkest hours. Everyone, except Skyler.
She left me.
“You all right, man?”
I take a long pull from the bottle and shake my head. “I don’t know how to answer your question. I understand George was a friend and Ghost’s family. I understand the logistics, but fuck.” Slamming the half empty bottle on the table, I jump to my feet and pace, scrubbing my hands through my hair, grasping for some semblance of peace. I’m unable to stop the rage I feel clawing at my chest. The anguish and heartache Skyler’s leaving caused clouding my vision, constricting my breath. “It’s fucking Skyler! How the hell am I supposed to be good?” I shout, unable to contain it anymore.
My Sunshine.
Hawk’s eyes meet mine, a subtle nod his only reaction to my outburst. He must realize where my thoughts have taken me. He was there. He knows what I went through. How hard I fought to get my shit back together after my sister’s death. I was a fucking wreck. Drinking myself stupid. Fighting anyone and everyone just to be able to feel the pain when my fists connected to flesh and bone. I needed to feel, anything. Pain seemed to be the only thing that penetrated past my drunkenness. A reminder. I was still here.
Alive, and alone.
I would’ve been okay if Skyler would’ve been there with me.
Sky had always been my anchor.
When I was a senior in high school, Skyler and Emily were only a year behind. For four years, I cleaned the floors and locker rooms at Knockouts gym, paying for my fighting lessons, all while helping watch over Emily and trying to graduate. Mom was working two jobs trying to keep a roof over our head, and all she asked of me was to stay out of trouble and be my sister’s keeper.
Skyler and Emily were tight, so naturally, she spent a lot of time over at our house. I got to know her over the years. At first, she was like another sister. Your run of the mill pain in the ass teenage brat. But then I started to really take notice of her. She was only acting the part of a brat because Emily was.
Skyler was shy by nature. She didn’t like conflict, easily allowing Emily to always have her way. Skyler was about books and learning. She was always the smart one. She rarely sassed anyone, except me. I seemed to bring it out in her, and I secretly loved that I could.
She tutored me through Algebra 2 my Senior year. She was a great listener when I was struggling to keep my wits about me every time, I lost a match or got suspended because I punched some asshole who thought he could grope my sister. There was only one suspension. I learned my lesson quick. I beat their ass off campus from there on out. And she was still there to listen to me rant about the same old bullshit. Skyler was the glue holding me together when my life felt like it was spinning out of my control.
But the night Emily died, my anchor cut me loose, and my life spiraled into an epic cluster fuck of my own creation.
Over the next few months after Emily’s funeral, my Aunt Madalyn sold my mother’s house and moved her to a new home in North Carolina with her, and I moved into an apartment over Knockouts Gym.
My sister was dead.
My mother had left town.
And my Sunshine disappeared.
Everyone I loved left me.
The way I felt, my heart slamming into my ribs when I saw her beautiful face, here, in the clubhouse after all this time. Without a word. No letter. No phone call. Nothing. And then she shows up. My brothers surrounding her. Taking up for her. Not me. Their brother. To say I’m pissed is a gross understatement.
I draw in several deep breaths. I’m struggling to get past the lump in my throat, forcing air into my lungs, trying but unsuccessful at getting a hold on my anger.
Turning my gaze back to Hawk, I shout. “Where the hell has she been all this time? And why the fuck are Eli and his men acting like she’s a club royalty or some shit? You saw the way they all stood in front of her as a barrier protecting her. From me! I’m their brother!” I slam my fist against my chest, pounding the patch over my heart repeatedly. The club’s logo, the symbol represents everything to me. “I don’t get it. I just don’t fucking get it.”
“I don’t have all the answers for you, brother,” Hawk says, taking another hit off his cancer stick. “But you’ve got to do whatever Pres says. It’s his call. I’m sure he’ll explain everything, but you’ve got to calm your shit. You can’t go into church ready to brawl with Ghost, Pres, or the Mountain Heights brothers.”
“I know, I—” My words are cut off as a whirlwind of blonde hair, a purple shirt, and tight blue jeans blows past us with a prospect not far behind. Skyler’s hauling ass to the other side of the clubhouse parking lot with Blake hot on her heels.
“Slow down, woman. Fuck!” Blake calls, chasing after her.
I turn on my heels and run after her, determined to talk to her. I need some kind of response other than “fuck off.’”
Grabbing her arm, I spin her to face me. Before I register what’s happening, Skyler reacts, striking my nose with an upward thrust of her palm. Blood gushes as I release her arm and cup my face.
“What the fuck, Sky?”I shout, taking a step back. Remorse flitters across her features, her eyes grow wide and glassy.
“Fucking hell, Ethan! I didn’t know it was you! I could’ve really hurt you!” She’s shouting back at me, her arms flailing about emphasizing her exasperation. Welcome to the club, sweetheart. “You shouldn’t have grabbed me! Fuck!”
She steps toward me, and I take a step back not knowing if she’s looking to get off another strike. Guilt mars her beautiful face, and she steps back again into a basic fight stance. She knows damn well I won’t hit a woman; she just may decide to take advantage and take a second shot.
Her reaction doesn’t make sense. Skyler has always hated violence, which only poses even more questions to add to the growing pile left unanswered.
Fuck my life.
I pull the black bandana from my back pocket and clean up my face. Blake steps between us, whether to protect me or her I’m not sure. After today’s display with Eli’s men, I don’t know which brothers have my back and which ones have hers. Skyler looks between me and Blake, and with a loud huff, she turns and makes quick work of the last ten feet toward the truck. I move to follow, wanting to get to her before she has a chance to drive off, but Hawk’s hand grabbing my shoulder halts my movement.
“Let her go, Ethan. She’s going through her own shit. You’ll get your answers, but not today. I’m sure none of this has been easy on her either.”
“Are you taking her side?” I spin to face him, my eyes snapping to his, the disbelief and doubt in my voice grating on my own nerves. I know better than to doubt his loyalty to me. Of all my brothers who share the patch, Hawk’s the closest thing I have to flesh and blood. He and Kieran, know more about me than anyone. I never would’ve made it out of my personal hell and into my fighting career without them.
They fucking saved my life.
Hawk’s standing at my shoulder; both of us watching as Skyler climbs into the cab of her truck, slams the door, and starts it up. She throws it in gear and speeds past us, her tires kicking up gravel as she blows by. Blake is quick to mount his bike and follow her out of the yard shouting about fucking crazy ass women as he passes us.
Hawk levels me with his harsh glare, confirming he heard the disbelief in my voice before. Shit.
“I’m not taking anyone’s side, brother. I’m trying to let level heads prevail. She’s barely learned about her father’s death, come back to a home she’s been away from for a long time, and had to deal with an asshole getting in her face with all sorts of shitty accusations before she even has a chance to digest any of it. And we have church. You heard Pres. They don’t believe this was an accident which means we have a dead man walking we need to find.” His tone is serious, dripping with malice. Rare when it comes to Hawk, so I know not to brush him off. “You know that patch you’ve been pounding on? Do you remember what it stands for?” He narrows his eyes as he comes to stand toe to toe with me, poking his finger into the patch on my chest, to emphasize his next words. “Brotherhood. Loyalty. Family.”
I don’t respond. Glaring at each other, I watch as his eyes flicker with pain and disappointment. My shoulders drop. I release a long-held breath. I hate disappointing the people who mean the world to me. And this club is full of those people. I’d give my life for every one of them.
“Ghost lost his brother-in-law last night. Your brother is in there waiting for you to get your shit together so we can help him find this son of a bitch and send him straight to hell. Ghost needs his brothers, to help bring justice to this motherfucker. We were all there for you when you lost Emily. Ghost was there for you. You’re here bitching about loyalty, and family.” He pauses, waiting for me to say something, but I remain silent. He throws his arms out to his sides. “Tell me, Ethan. Does your patch really mean any of those things to you?” He steps back, crossing his arms over his chest.
He pulls a bandana from his back pocket, handing it to me. I take the offering since mine is covered on blood and wipe my face and hands.
“Let Ghost be there for Skyler. He’s her family. I’m here for you, brother. But you need to decide. Are you willing to trust your Pres and trust the people who have always had your back?”
Well, shit.
Scrubbing a hand down my face, and rolling my neck a few times, I let his words of wisdom wash over me like a soothing balm my heart needed to see past all the other shit. Hawk’s right. Skyler’s not my concern. But Ghost should be.
I’m an asshole.
Who knew Hawk would be the voice of reason?
Scoffing to myself at the thought, I nod and grab my beer off the table, tossing it in the metal trashcan beside the table. I squeeze Hawk’s shoulder, as I pass by him.
“Come on then. Let’s go help Ghost find this fucker and bury his brother-in-law.”
Hawk seems stunned. “That’s it? You’re good?”
“No. But I will be. You’re right. The club comes first.”
“Bros before hoes.” Hawk snickers. “Patch before snatch.” I shake my head. “Brothers before Moth…”
“No! Shut up! Now, Hawk.” I cover my ears not wanting to hear anymore. He has no limits in the bedroom. “Mothers are off limits. Especially those of your friends.”
“It was one time. I was sixteen and she was fucking hot! You can’t blame a kid, but you’re right, lesson learned.”
I shiver at the thought. He throws his head back roaring with laughter beside me. I try to hold it back, but the asshole manages to make me smile, making him laugh harder, pumping his fist in the air as we pass through the doors and make our way into church.
“Asshole,” I mumble, dropping my hands from my ears.
“Listen, in all seriousness, I’ll help you get your answers, but you’ve got to be patient and for God’s sake don’t grab Skyler’s arm again! She’s packs one hell of a punch!”
“Fuck off,” I grumble, shaking my head as I push past him, shoving him with my shoulder, before taking my seat inside the sanctuary where all our brothers are waiting. Hawk plops down next to me, his laptop sitting on the table waiting for him.
“Admit it. You love me. Life would be boring without me in it.”
Asshole.
“What the fuck happened to you?” Gabe snaps, putting a stop to all conversation around the room.
“Skyler happened to him,” Hawk says grinning like the fucking cat who got the cream.
“Sky hit you?” Eli asks, his lips turning up at the corners, eyes full of pride. “What’d you do to deserve it? As if we couldn’t guess.”
“I didn’t…”
“He grabbed her arm, wanting to stop her and talk, but she spun on him, and palm struck him in the nose. He’s lucky it didn’t break.” Hawk so graciously tells the room. “He’ll probably have a shiner though from the looks of it.”
“Ah. Yeah. She doesn’t like to be touched without permission,” Xander supplies. “You probably startled her. Be glad you didn’t grab her from behind. The outcome would’ve been much worse.”
His statement makes me wonder who touched her without permission and how the hell does he know about it? Was it the asshole who killed Emily? Maybe he beat her first, made her watch?
No. He couldn’t have beaten Skyler.
If she was beaten badly, how could she have run away?
So many unanswered questions.
“How so?” Hawk asks.
“She’d lay his ass out,” Xander, says. “It’s what we taught her to do.” Eli, Cash, and Walker are all smiling with pride.
They did what now?
There are chuckles and gasps around the room.
“You taught her to fight?” I pose the question, but Hawk, still laughing shouts over me.
“If she can take Ethan out…” he starts, but Gabe is quick to shut shit down. Thank fuck.
“Enough!” Gabe shouts, slamming the gavel down. “We’ve got other shit to get handled right now. You can place your bets on Skyler versus Ethan after we’re done here. Got it?”
A collective “Yes sir” rents the air.
“We can all bust Ethan’s balls later for the ass whoopin’ he received from such a sweet little girl.” Gabe’s grinning like a damn fool. The others are all laughing at my expense.
Sweet my ass.
“That’s our girl,” Eli says, beaming with pride.
Their girl? The fuck?
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